Building On Failure
by suckmysharpie
Summary: RATED M "But he fought against himself, her previous words of friendship echoing in his mind as he struggled with what she wanted and what she thought she may want."
1. Hurt

**A/N: I'm Reposting of the first six chapters of Building on Failure as well as a post of the seventh and eighth chapters I had written before it was removed. **

**All reviews welcome, I have at least 13 chapters of this written and a steady storyline I can continue with if I have enough support and everyone likes it XD**

**Beth**

**PS. I've also changed my penname to bybmsuckmysharpie**

**xo **

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Chapter 1 - **_**Hurt.**_

She was hurt. She was jealous and she didn't know what the heck she was doing. She knew that she had been an idiot, that's all she had been for the past nine months since that fateful night on her tour bus when everything seemed to spin and make her want to hide in a hole somewhere until everything went away like the kid that she was.

Apart from Mandy and a few others, her only other friend was her guitar. It had been her solstice, helping her gradually through the pain with each new chord and song she played. She was reminded of all the great artists she looked up to and remembered how their guitars had made them stronger too. She listened to Johnny Cash and remembered all the bad in his life too. She listened to his songs and thought about words he'd said in his lifetime. She refused to dwell on everything. She refused to let it consume her. She was determined to move on.

No matter which way that she decided to move on, she was always going to be hated by someone. Her way of moving on had been to stop holding in all the primary memories from her mind and instead tell them and accept that it was over. She'd told a magazine. Everyone had hated her for the way she had come off on paper. She hadn't meant for it to sound like that, but she didn't care. It had helped her forget.

Before moving on, she'd 'dated' lots of boys. She'd been a fool and done what they did best and fooled around. She'd made more mistakes in trying to forget than she had in remembering. She'd broken some promises and she'd made her family disappointed. Soon she got over it and boys simply became friends for a long time. They were simple pieces in her way to try and feel comfortable around a boy again, to feel like he didn't want everything from her just to throw it back in her face. She had retrained herself not to be scared of being in a room alone with a boy and not knowing what to say. She had talked to boys like they were people and not a potential treat. Soon she had come to learn the truth, and soon she'd start to tingle with the familiar feeling of a new found crush… a crush that had turned into something more.

Now he was a fan. She was on stage and he was in the audience cheering her on. He wasn't like _him_ hiding back stage waiting for his turn, he wasn't like Mitchell – a simple platonic friend, he wasn't a playboy trying to get his picture taken… he was smiling at her as she sung her heart out, quite obviously taken with the words she was saying. He was feeling the emotions she was feeling, the betrayal; the sadness and the slight numbness in the put of the stomach; because he was experiencing the same attempts to put back together a broken heart like she was.

She felt like she could face him head on, so she did what she knew would make her the better person. She stood on stage with him, sent him an enthusiastic wave and hugged his brother with almost as much excitement as she used to. She didn't care how many people said something about it… she was the better person and they had the chance to step up to the plate.

He had glared at her from the side of the stage as she smiled down to some guy in the audience; obviously another of her boy toys that she'd been airing out for the past few months... it must have been her third or forth spotting with a different guy since the beginning of the summer.

He was kind of jealous and angry. He would admit it, but only in his head. He saw how many guys were vying for her and he was reminded that he had thrown away the chance to be the one laughing at all those guys and be smug about it. That's why he'd bought Selena and Demi. They would make her blood boil at the sight of them if Selena's little stories about how much of a bitch she was were true. They even held a party and didn't invite her just to annoy her and see what happened.

But nothing happened. She just stood there and when she came on stage, she waved and hugged Joe like there was nothing wrong. Sure it wasn't like the old times when they were walking along the runway on tour, her hands all over him… grabbing him around the neck and pressing her lips softly, but ever so incandescently passionately on his cheek, daringly close to his neck. He had seen the pictures and had grinned at his silly little smile when he saw it, even though he'd yelled about it afterwards. Now as she smiled around, acting indifferent to her situation… like he wasn't really there and like there was only one person… that stupid good-looking guy in the VIP pit, it made him bubble with anger.

They were stood feet away from her acting like she wasn't there, and she was being the better person. She was so close to beating Selena and Demi, it was ridiculous. Nothing could hurt her anymore, all because she had her new best friend. He would help her and he would make everything better.

Not if he had anything to do with it…

She jumped around shocked as someone banged hard on her empty dressing room door. She threw down her towel and moved to the door, but not before it swung open quickly, almost hitting her in the face. His curly dark hair almost blinded her and the fact that he was wearing a hoodie with his dress shirt shocked her for a moment. She stepped back her mouth agape.

"Who the heck is Justin Gaston?"

She couldn't help but laugh. She shook her head at him, stepping back even further almost to the distance they had been on the stage.

"I don't see what the heck it has to do with you, Nicholas…" she blurted quickly shaking her head, "I don't want to rehash the past but you gave up your right to ask me anything to do with my life a _Long_ time ago…"

Nick laughed and closed the door so no one could hear. She suddenly, for the first time in a long time, became nervous by the fact that she was alone with him.

He wiped his mouth and shook his head repeatedly, "Just tell me Miley… because I've seen pictures of you with a lot of guys recently and I saw a picture of you with this new guy and it looks like you're getting your old buzz back…"

"And you'd hate that wouldn't you, buddy?" She spat angrily folding her arms. She shook her head, "It's got nothing to do with you Nick… you have Selena and the last time I checked that meant I could do whatever the heck I wanted in the dating world considering that we're not exclusively telling each other about all the people we start seeing," she laughed in disbelief, "Why don't you just go?"

He pressed his hand to the door and shook his head, "No… because if you are dating him… he's TWENTY Miley… twenty years-old…"

"I know, Nick…"

"That's five years, Miley, Five freaking years…"

Miley nodded sarcastically, "I see you're getting almost as good at Math as Noah is…"

Nick turned angrily to the door and hit it, "Miley! He's a year away from drinking and doing all kinda crap… you're the girl who still wears beaded bracelets with her name written in beads! It's not exactly the most mature of bracelets."

She leant forwards, taking a few steps closer, daring him… almost teasing him with her proximity and shrugged her shoulders.

"It's just a number…"

"It's a lot more than a number…"

"Exactly… but all it has to do with you is a number… five years between me and him… nine months between me and you breaking up… therefore I don't care what you think… _Therefore_ there's a lot you don't know about me now…" she was angry and she was pointing her finger at him warningly, "When you say that you're going to be friends with someone, and that it's 'just a break to cool off a while' you can't ignore a person for nine months and then ram your pathetic skulking ass into their dressing room when they're already late to get home and ask them about the personal life of which you are no longer part of… you are lucky I even said hello to you…"

"You're a child…"

"And you're the one who's getting all bunched up about something that doesn't even concern him anymore…" she flailed her arms out dramatically, "Why are you even hear? Are you what? Annoyed? Are you annoyed that our first time together on stage after all our crap was hung out to dry I was okay with it? Are you disappointed that I could look at your asshole face and think 'Whatever' because I've grown up instead of turning into a little…"

She was interrupted brashly by the press of his lips ramming her into the dressing room wall and blinding her ferociously with his kiss. She gasped her arms failing at her sides as she failed to kiss back. She screwed her face up trying to regain composure and looked at him, his hands holding her around her neck like he used to, his body against hers as she was pinned against the wall, unable to move.

She moved her arms to his shoulders and grabbed on tightly. Using her mouth and every inch of her bodily strength, she used her one power over him and kissed him away from her until his grip loosened and she could push him away angrily until he stumbled backwards away from her in shock.

"I…" he began, his cheeks read and his face seemingly confused.

"Get out," she spat wiping her mouth in disgust.

"Miley…"

"Get out, Nick!"

"Miley, I'm sorry I…"

"GET OUT!"

He stumbled backwards, staring at her as he hit the door. His fingers fumbled with the door handle as his senses failed him. He was staring at her in shock as she grimaced at him in disappointment and disdain of his selfishness. She wiped her face again, trying to wipe his scent and his taste from her. He looked away from her and left the room, his tail shamelessly in between his legs, the door slamming closed behind him.

Miley waited, her back pressed against the wall as she looked at the recently closed door. What just happened? Why did he do that? Why was she feeling so weird? She stepped forward, her face dropping to one of regret at making him leave so quickly and not explaining why. She paused gently tiptoeing towards the door, planning to race after him press him against a wall and demand what the dang heck just went on. She put her hand to the door and paused taking in a deep breath.

Her hand moved without her permission and soon she held her breath in shock as she came face to face with something she didn't expect to see. His guilty face, staring right back at her looking more adamant than ever, as her face dropped and she realised why he was stood there. His hands were either side of the doorframe and he was breathing softly as he shook his head.

She sighed as he pressed himself forward with the support from the doorframe and right back onto her lips, her hands grabbing hold of his cheeks as he re-entered the dressing room, locking the door closed and wrapping his arms around her.

Something just wasn't right.

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**A/N: TBC**

**Keep Reading :)  
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	2. I Know You

**A/N: **** Second chapter of B-O-F. Enjoy. **

**Beth**

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Miley kissed him. She _kissed him_. All the while the only thought going through her head that both of them were dating two people other than each other. She had Justin and Nick was quite obviously with Selena, the perfect one. The one he was just meant to be with by Disney standards. Miley was an outsider when it came to their circle. She couldn't help but feel like the Disney Company were a little old-fashioned sometimes and they didn't know what the internet was actually used for when it came to teenagers.

But for some reason it didn't stop her from kissing him back.

He was _Nick Jonas. _He was the Nick Jonas she'd fallen in love with… the first love… he was forever reserved that honour until she grew older and forgot until the twentieth reunion of the Disney Elite. He was the boy that consumed her for more days and minutes than she could ever count. His name was somehow stained to her skin in sharpie ink if you looked close enough. He was the purpose for the pain. He was the reason she was fighting every instinct in her body, by fighting back and trying to get her reputation back. He was the one that she had to prove she was better than they thought, even if it meant he never spoke to her again. At least she could prove it.

But instead of actually _talking_ he was using his mouth to motivate her emotionally in other ways.

She was still angry. He was meant to hate her and despise her just to keep the continuity of the Jonas brothers. He was the one that had broken up with her, and now he was kissing her so madly… so passionately, that she couldn't feel anything from the top of her head to the tips of her toes except the feeling of his lips… and oh did that sensation feel wonderfully numb.

But it was _wrong…_ it was wrong to be kissing him. It was betraying people she cared about and it was just wrong! She didn't want him back. She had Justin! He had Selena and everyone else. They would hate her! They would make her life a living hell with their childish antics and wildly bogus subliminal messages via really gay looking t-shirts. They would do anything to make her look more idiotic than she did already. They would tear her world down with a few simple words. They could tell anyone, and even though a picture could say thousands of words… the actual words could say it a lot clearer.

_This was wrong. _

She pushed him away, more gently this time… backing slowly away from him against the dressing room door. How she had come to face this way she did not know, but she had an idea. She stared at him in deeper set shock than before, but a lot more confusion building in her stomach so much that she wanted to vomit just to see if it would stop. He looked guilty but proud as he watched her, wiping her saliva mixed with his own from her lips. His hair was untidy from her fingers burying themselves deep within it. His cheeks were blushed in heated passion and she could not doubt that she probably looked worse off than he did.

"You're with Selena…" she whimpered holding her hands out for mercy… not from him… but from anyone else that would give it to her, "This is wrong…"

Nick eyes were bulging with emotion and she couldn't tell which kind. She shrugged her shoulders as he remained silent.

"I know…"

"Then _what in the world,_ are you doing Nick?" she closed her eyes so she didn't cry like the pathetic child he'd accused her of being earlier, "She's your girlfriend… the one that you were so sure that you cared so much about that you dumped me just in case and lied to me saying that we were too much…"

He was silent and his eyes were glaring at the floor as he was deep in thought at their current situation. He would not say anything. He would not even admit that he Googled her name when he was reminded in anyway of their tour. He would not admit that he still had a picture of her in his wallet that no one saw, well they had… it was the one of them in the rain. He had his own copy, but he kept it secret until the light went out, when he could remember her and think nothing of it. He would not admit that her name was still a daily part of his life, in more ways than thought possible.

He would hold his same old front of anger and malice. He would not repeat a word of what he had said to her a whole lifetime ago. He was a Jonas brother. The Jonas Brothers were all about front and charm. He had a front to keep and he would not let something like his feelings get in the way of ruining a huge empire of fame that they were soon getting.

"I know, Selena's my girlfriend… and I love her…" he shrugged, "I love her Miley…"

Her heart dropped and it felt like someone was grabbing everything within her chest cavity and using it like a squeeze toy. She couldn't breathe, her heart stopped beating she was sure of it. All she could do was widen her eyes in shock and hope that his little speech was over soon, that his eyes would stop boring into her, her cheeks would not feel red and she'd lose the feeling of wanting to jump at him and kiss him all over again. He was handsome and he was beautiful… inside and out in her eyes. At least he used to be… where was that boy she used to know? The one who held her in the rain and made her laugh about stupid things… she wanted him back. He was the real Nicholas… This boy standing in front of her dressed up obscenely like an idiot… he was Nick Jonas. He was the media machine.

She choked in a breath. She gasped forcing her lungs and heart to start working again and did what she did best for that moment. She coped… she looked him in the eye and had the guts to ask the questions.

"Then why did you just kiss me?" she whispered, her shoulders rising and falling limply in a shrug, "Why did you not just throw back all the words I said back in my face…? Why didn't you just call me a slut and walk out?"

And he did something that he never thought he would do to her at this time. He laughed in her face and felt an over-whelming power of truth and honesty bubble through him and force him to tell the truth and become the jerk completely.

"Because as much as you don't like to admit it Miles…" she grimaced at the use of her pet name, "I know you… and I know me…

"I wanted to get what I want… and you can't live with yourself when you know you've done something wrong…" he smiled putting his hands in his pockets, "I wanted Justin Gaston the twenty year-old slime ball out of your life… and it was wrong for me to kiss you…" his smile wasn't even happy. It was sly and it was greasy. He'd used her to make everything go his way, "Every time you see him, you'll be reminded of my face kissing you like there was nothing that could stop me… and it'll ruin you inside out until you give up on him…"

She was silently crying at his words. Hurt that he would do this, angry that the real Nicholas wasn't coming back soon and slightly touched that he remembered and knew her so well. She wiped her tears from her face, and it was time for her to do what she did best when it came to Nick and his asshole ways.

It was time to get those singers lungs working and yell at him until the cows came home. She was going to hurt him in anyway that she could. She couldn't take his _bullshit _anymore. It was the only way to describe it, so help her God. He was talking crap. He was ruining her life and it was slowly turning to rubble around her all because he wanted the world to be on his side.

She'd felt like that too at one point, and then she grew up and realised the world isn't kind and that it never really goes _your _way. It goes the way that it wants to. Fate makes things happen and sometimes they aren't the things you want to happen or they go in the wrong order. Sometimes things aren't meant to be and sometimes they are. You have to work hard for things to stay good and purposely making things bad messed that up. It's all about Karma.

"You son of a bitch…" she whispered… "You nasty… evil…" she stayed stationary leaning against the door, building he momentum, "Asshole…!" she yelped covering her mouth with her hand, "Why would you…" she was speechless, "Why would you even want to do that? It's one thing to say that you don't want me… but to… to ruin everything else is just…"

For the second time that night, she was interrupted by something harsh hitting her and awaking her of her sense. This time, it was the door, opening an inch or so and hitting her in the back before she groaned and moved forward grabbing it and pulling it open, her hands reaching to her cheeks and wiping away the tears. She looked down away from the other handsome boys amazing eyes and to the floor in shame. She liked him… _ she really liked him… _and now she was going to lose him.

"Hey Miles…" he stepped into the room, putting a hand to her arm and attending to her quickly to see if she was alright.

She ignored him, seeing Nick smiling out the corner of her eye, his arms folded and obvious happiness in his face. _He really was an asshole. _

"Hi…" she whispered to Justin as he leant down to kiss her on the cheek. His large hands took her small ones as his perfect eyes looked softly from Nick's smiling grin to Miley's guilty pout in confusion, "Nick just came by to talk for a while… to say how great tonight was…"

She was unbelievable, quite literally. Justin looked at her stepping out and staring down at her with the height he had on her. He looked unconvinced and it wasn't fair that someone who had been as hurt as much as he had was being lied to yet again, by the one girl who had promised not to screw him around. She wiped her eyes again, avoiding his contact with them, and all together making everything seem one hundred times worse to the poor, innocent person in all of this. He had come here to make everything official. They were meant to be spending some time alone together instead of just texting and messaging for more hours than there were in a day. Now she had ruined it, not even two days into his visit.

"What's going on?" he sounded lost, like he was a cat in the middle of two dogs.

Miley looked up at Nick and prayed that he would prove himself a little by simply letting her have a chance to make all this right. He smiled at her, laughing a little and stepping forward kicking his stupid Italian shoes on the chair as he walked by. He stopped in front of them and shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly.

"Ask Miley…"


	3. Life's A Media Circus

**A/N: Chapter 3 of Building On Failure**

**Enjoy,**

**Beth**

**xo**

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Chapter Three: Life's a Media Circus, guess who's the clown**

Miley told him the truth. It kind of just slipped out once he looked at her with those big brown reassuring handsome eyes, begging to know the truth. She felt that she had to tell him, just because she couldn't break his heart again by carrying everything on. She wouldn't be the bitch who broke his heart all over again before it was even fully back together. She wouldn't turn into one of those Hollywood girls who thought they were better than everyone else. She wasn't better than everyone else, she was worse most of the time. She made mistakes, and sometimes it was hard to admit to them.

But Justin walked out once the words had escaped her and told her not to follow him. The truth hurt him and she hoped it would not hurt him as much as she thought. She hoped that he would talk to her again, because he was her friend. She didn't want to lose him. She needed all the friends she could get.

"Get in the car… now…"

Her mother had obviously spoken to Justin and she looked annoyed. Her face was like thunder. Apparently Justin had wandered out from the venue and decided that he would walk back to his apartment or catch a cab… he had a lot to think about.

Miley's life got considerably louder after that. She received yells from all different angles of her life. Her mother was upset with her because she had seen how much Justin liked her. She had seen how he didn't look like a lost little lamb anymore and it would have been a great way for her to get over Nick considering how much she already liked Justin. Her manager Jason just yelled at her about how much he had ruined the plan to get Justin to stop the talk of Nick Jonas and make her stop looking like such an idiot. If news of her little kiss with Nick broke the papers then they would have to deal with a whole mountain of media coverage that they hadn't even wanted. Brandi was annoyed but supportive of her, asking what happened between her and Nick in the dressing room, and accepting it gracefully.

Worst of all came the moment when her father walked into her bedroom and yelled at her saying she'd ruined the career of a young man who had a great future.

"He could have had an amazing career, Miley! He was already rejected once in his career and his life and now you're doing it all over again just for the sake of fooling around with a guy who doesn't even care about you!"

Miley was crying by this point, because her father never _ever _yelled at her. He was usually the calm one, but since him and Justin had been working together since _Nashville Star_ he'd grown to love Justin like a son and they spent most of their time talking about music. He had been happy when Miley had started talking to him and became friends with him. He had a simple hope that maybe Justin could join his family. Justin was new and fresh and kinda like the Jonas brothers on that episode of the show they were on. He was spending all the time he could with Justin, writing songs and ignoring everyone else. Only now they weren't on a television show, they were in real life and her dad was angry at her for ruining his blossoming career with Justin.

She had yet to see how Justin's career involved her however. It was like her managers, parents and every other person who wanted Justin famous had some kind of conspiracy to make them a couple just so the boy could either become famous or stop "Niley" rumours. All Miley wanted was a friend and for people to stop talking about her and Nick. In her head it was over. It had been for nearly a year… especially after his little stunt.

"Why do you want me to be with him so much? I don't want to hurt him…"

"You already have!" he boomed, "That boy could have done great things…"

"Exactly… and he doesn't need my help to do it!" she sobbed, "I can't just stay with him… even though he probably doesn't want to after I've hurt him like this! I _kissed _Nick, Dad… I _kissed _him! I can't pretend that didn't happen!"

Her father wiped his mouth of his anger and tried to calm himself down as he paced backwards and forwards, saying nothing.

"I knew that one day your career would end because of all these boys…" he hissed finally to himself, "I told your mother 'we need to stop her before she ruins everything'… and your momma just told me to _chill out… relax… let her be a teenager…_"

Miley couldn't believe how selfish he was being. He had just in a few seconds pretty much become the epitome of what the internet and magazines were calling a Miley hater. He had just completely ripped her of all her human rights to make mistakes. This was the man that had told her not to give up trying, the one who had told her that if anything went wrong it didn't matter. Now he was forcing her to do things, not only for herself, but for some boy he'd known for less than a year.

"You think I've ruined everything?"

Her father laughed, "You made our whole family look like stupid idiots with all the things you've done… it was pushing it with the Vanity Fair picture and now it's just too much…" he punched the cabinet his hand had been resting on, "You've ruined not just your own career… you've ruined your family."

She shook her head in disbelief tearfully shocked. She was surprised she was able to speak, "You're… you're meant to support me and… ignore the stupid media, Dad…"

"I've already done this once Miley… fifteen years ago!" he walked over to the door and opened it wide, "I did my fair share of being hated… of people laughing at me because of the way I couldn't handle anything and I had to run away from it all," he pointed his finger at her, "I told you Miley that you could do whatever you wanted, that you could act and that you could sing… because that was honourable…" he glared at her full of malice, "But now you've just become a toy of the media… you're known more for your photos and for being with Nick goddamn Jonas more than you are for your voice…"

He turned to leave. She walked angrily after him screaming his name trying to get his attention and his acceptance again.

"Dad!"

"No Miley!" he said as he thundered down the stairs his duffle sitting by the door waiting for him to leave for _another_ tour, "I'm going on tour… and I'll be back in a few weeks by which time you'll be on your little tour of the country and going to England…" he grabbed his coat, "You want me to give a crap about your career then you figure out a way to make sure that your life isn't one big media sham… then maybe I'll start respecting you again…"

She stared at him, questioning his words and taking them in to the depths of her soul, letting them swill and affect her… With an adamant nod, he left… taking his duffle bag and leaving their house, saying goodbye to no one.

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Miley was never often allowed to leave the house on her own, but tonight she felt it was okay as she kindly asked the paparazzi to leave her alone to go on a bike ride. The weather was damp and foggy like her soul and she had nothing better to do now that her father had put the filming of the TV show on Hiatus just so he could be angry. He was such a poet… always getting his underwear in a twist for silly reasons.

Only it wasn't a silly reason… he was falling under the media pressure of his daughter who was just riding along with it. After he'd left that night, he hadn't answered her phone calls or spoke to her at all. She could often hear him on the phone to her mother, as Tish begged him to talk to his daughter, but he refused saying he was sticking to his guns and she had to change.

Miley put up a barrier of fake happiness, smiling away like she didn't care and working like nothing mattered to her. She went out with Mandy or got on with her schoolwork for an entire week, all the while refusing to admit that she was in a real argument with her father. She couldn't accept it. He was the man who had taught her all her life lessons. He was the man, who taught her right from wrong, and now she was completely confused to whether this was real or not and if what he was doing was right.

It kinda felt like a carpet had been pulled from under her, everything had fell to the floor and she just wanted her daddy to run and slip it right back, helping her to her feet and picking up the pieces. Her mother tried but nothing seemed to work while Miley was pretending the world was fine and dandy. Tish knew exactly how she was feeling really. It was hard to not think that the entire world was against you once your father, one of your best friends pretty much hated your guts too.

Miley stopped her bike outside his apartment and walked up to the door making sure no paparazzi were following her. It probably helped that she'd used all the back alleys to get to her destination. They couldn't follow her where there was no asphalt. She buzzed his apartment and waited for him to answer.

She hadn't thought he'd let her up, but he did. She walked into his apartment for the first time on her own nervous and sheepish as he sat in his sweats and wife beater his TV was on but muted as he perched on the end of his couch strumming at his guitar writing a new song. From what she gathered, he was asking someone not to hurt him. Guilt swelled in her gut as she knocked on the door, his face turning in shock.

"What ya working on?"

He put down the guitar and stood up quickly, "Just a song…"

She smiled quickly and shyly and shook her head, "A song is never _just _a song…"

Justin's mouth twitched with a smile and he walked over to his kitchenette, opening up the refrigerator. He looked inside before turning to her, finding her staring at him like and idiot, not sure what to say.

"Can I get you a drink?" he asked, "Soda? Ice Tea? I have some bottled water…"

"I'm not staying," she clasped her hands together nervously and shrugged her shoulders to protect herself from any kind of verbal lashing she might be getting soon, "I heard that you were leaving tomorrow… and I couldn't let you go for however long it is without clearing the air… or something… in person…"

Justin handed her a bottle of water, "The air's clear, Miley… no hard feelings…"

She shook her head, not believing him and knowing that he was mad at her still. He wasn't even looking at her like he used to. He was trying his best to not keep his gaze on her for any lengthy time and was busying himself doing things around his kitchen, all the while looking real angry. She took off her red messenger bag and put it down onto the retro vinyl topped table.

"I am sorry… you know that right?" she muttered not feeling the need to be an inconspicuous idiot, "You know that if he hadn't come in my dressing room and I still had you I'd be happy… don't you?"

He turned around to her from standing still by the sink, his hands pressed to the metal of the worktop, "You wouldn't…"

She looked at him confused, "I-I would… I care about you a lot and you're fun…" she shrugged. She was stuttering at it was driving her crazy. She had eloquence, she just couldn't show it right now, "I liked being with you…"

Justin turned around and walked up to her. She moved away from him nervously. There was slightly something scary about Justin who was a lot taller than her walking towards her with a slight nervous sadness about him. She looked up at him as he took hold of her arms and shrugged his shoulders. A feeling of hope that maybe everything would be right between them swooped over her and she smiled slightly.

"You may have liked being with me… you may care about me and all of that stuff that people think is important in relationships…" he looked down deep into her eyes, "I feel the exact same way about you that you do me… and what I feel for you will never be the same as what I felt for Laura," Miley became uncomfortable at the mention of his ex, a name almost certainly always followed. Her head dropped to the floor, "It's a one in a lifetime thing, Miles… it's that all consuming love that no one can ever understand. You love them and you hate them at the same time, you wanna kiss em and kill em simultaneously… and once they've gone nothing feels like it's gonna be the same again…"

Miley looked up at him sadly and nodded. It was the worst kind of rejection when you knew that you weren't as good as someone else. One name came to mind…

"I know…" she whispered, her mind flashing to Selena Gomez.

He smiled and titled her chin up to him, "You're one of the best friends I have ever had Miley Ray… and I don't want us to stop being friends because of one thing… but I think you know…" Miley looked away in guilt, "You're still in love with Nick, Miles…"

She burst into tears there and then, his head holding her face to look at him as she tried to look away. She placed her arms around his waist in need of some comfort for the first time in a week. She missed her Daddy's hugs and her mom's kisses to the forehead. She missed holding Nick's hand and she missed people holding her when she was sad. For too many nights now, she'd had to hold herself as she cried in her bedroom over how terrible her life was turning out. She was just happy that people still wanted to touch her and she wasn't repulsive to everyone.

"You're in love with him, Miles!" his voice was kinda desperate as he repeated his previous statement. She looked up and saw his warming brown eyes filled with tears, "You love him… and there's nothing I can do about it without completely breaking both our hearts… because I can't step up to the image of him you've got in your head…"

Miley shook her head as he wiped her tears away with his thumbs, "I don't want him… I don't want him back _ever_…" she sniffed, "He hurt me, Justin… and I can't forget that…" She wiped her nose, "He ruined my career, I lost you… I lost my friends…" She looked up at him seriously, "I want _nothing_ more to do with Nick Jonas…" she spat angrily, "_Nothing_…"

Justin shrugged and shook his head, "Then why do you keep on trying to get him back…?"

Her own words rushed back over her like a slap to the cheek and her eyes shot up at him frustrated and stared at him as his gaze failed to waver and look away. He was adamant of his words and that's what scared her. He was telling the truth and Miley was afraid of the truth. The truth hurts. It creeps up silently and hits you in the face like a large wooden mallet. It sticks with you and it's all you can think about for hours, days and weeks. Even when you think you've defied the truth, it comes back and bites you on the butt till it sticks in your head that the true way is the only way it will ever be.

"I don't try and get him back…"

Justin smiled and brushed her hair from her eyes, "Who are you kidding, kid? You write heartfelt songs, you give shady magazine interviews and you kiss him back… you love that boy with every inch of your soul and there's no way any words you can say will ever change that."

She closed her eyes and let her sobs escape her, "It's not like that…"

"Yeah it is…" he shrugged, "You want him and you're not gonna give up trying to get him until you pay for all the mistakes both of you have made, until you admit to the world that you're meant to be and that you're finally truly incandescently happy."

She looked up at him and let out a soft little sigh with a smile, trying to stop blubbering like a baby, "I'm never going to be happy then, Justin… I'm always gonna be…" she paused and thought, "I'm always gonna be me…"

Justin looked at her concerned and bent down to press a kiss to the bridge of her nose.

"There's nothing wrong with that…"

She shook her head, "I always make mistakes…"

"Learn from them…"

"I never do…"

"Try…"

She looked up at him and smiled, "I have to try… I always try but it never works it always gets worse… and now I've lost my dad because of it…"

Justin looked down at her confused, his eyes wide with interest and inquisition. He put his hands on her shoulders and shook them a little, "What's all this about…? you've not lost your dad… you're dad loves you…"

She frowned questioningly at his gaze. He was genuinely surprised by her mention of her father. She looked up at him and shook her head. She thought her father would have spoke to Justin by now, but instead he had just gone and left him in the crap about everything too. Miley had been so worried about having to talk about her dad to Justin that she hadn't really wanted to come over. She didn't even have anything to be worried about after all.

She forced a smile and shrugged her shoulders, "He told me that I've ruined my family and if I want him to care I have to change everything… I have to fix everything…" she stared at his chest, "But I don't know how…" she sniffed, "I've tried so hard… so many times to fix my mistakes and stop being a failure that it just gets worse and I make more…"

Justin smiled sympathetically at her beautiful blue eyes filled with sadness and a responsibility she was too young to handle. He'd thought she was almost a woman… its turns out that she was just a little girl who had the world to figure out.

"Johnny Cash said that learning from your mistakes is a painful way to learn… but without pain there is no gain…" Justin wrapped his arms around her and brought her crying face into his shoulders, "All you have to do is be reminded that it'll stop hurting soon, Miley… and then it'll be okay…"

She burst into wild baby like sobs on his shoulder that lasted for hours. She cried and cried and let out every emotion possible with one simple action. Anger, sadness, confusion, loss and frustration… they were all executed from her in her manic sobs. She was slowly loosing her family, she hardly had any friends left, she had no boyfriend and all the ones she wanted wouldn't have her…

Knowledge of this was soon released in a daily newspaper twelve hours later. Her break up, her family plight and her despair were all seen in a simple image caught by smart paparazzi who had no respect for her personal life. She didn't care however. She was above all this. She was above the childishness of her father. She deserved better than Nick Jonas. She may not have many friends as she used to, but at least she had the ones that mattered and cared.

* * *

**A/N: Keep on Reading! **

**BM**

**xo**


	4. Why?

**A/N: **

**Enjoy :)**

**xo**

**

* * *

  
**

Chapter Four – Why?

Nick sat on his bunk in the tour bus fed up of every human he came into contact with asking him why. It was always damn why that they were asking, nothing else. He picked up the newspaper in his hand next to him and looked at her crying face, feeling a weight fall in the pit of his stomach. He had made those tears, he'd ruined that what actually seemed to be a good healthy relationship, he ruined a life that wasn't his to ruin. It was pathetic because it was all because of cold-hearted jealousy and his desperate hang-ups on the past. His only excuse being that he couldn't help being who he was. He couldn't help keep thinking of his past and how much she was involved in it.

* * *

_Denise_

Nick walked up to his mother as she made him some eggs in the tour bus kitchen. They had stopped a little while ago for the driver to get some rest, and his dad and brothers had gone to the local mall to do some shopping. Nick however was too bored and lazy to walk their and had decided that he would just stay on the bus with him mom and help her to tidy it up after Frankie had been playing with his toys all morning. You couldn't walk through the length of the bus without standing on some kind of action figure and getting excruciating pains in your feet, if not some kind of wound. Joe had already bled twice that morning from keeping standing on them. That was why item number four on his father's grocery list had been "band aids".

"Why have you been so angry recently?" his mother said to him as she walked past carrying a pile of Frankie's toys and throwing them onto the bunk above Nick's.

Nick frowned, "What do you mean?"

Denise sighed and loftily sat down onto Kevin's bunk opposite Nick's, "You've not eaten dinner with us at all this week… you've been hiding in here and the only time you come out is when someone tells you that there's a stage to be standing on…"

Nick shrugged, "I've just been a little weird is all… I'll be fine soon…"

"Do you need a doctor…?" his mom asked.

Nick shook his head and smiled, "No, mom… I'm fine… I meant weird with people… like spending all the time on the bus and stuff… it's kinda making me a little depressed and claustrophobic after being on stage…"

His mother nodded, her eyes narrow as she looked at him suspiciously. She knew he was lying and she knew there was deeper reason for him to be being so secretive. He usually told her all his problems, even when he was having girl issues or growing up issues. His mom was his first port of call.

"Is it girl problems?"

Nick looked at her shocked and shook his head, "No… me and Selena are fine mom… I called her this morning… she's still doing promo for the second season of her show…"

Denise smiled, "I've heard that one before…"

Nick shook his head at her and sighed, sitting up throwing down his newspaper he'd been reading next to him, "Selena and me are great… when we get home tonight, she's coming by to watch a movie with me…"

He was no where as enthusiastic as he had been a week ago and it was obvious. For a few hours a week ago, he had possessed an old spark of happiness for just a while. As quick as it had ignited in his eyes it had quickly been put out with a returning depressed glare. It was worrying. Out of all the things in his life, all the possibilities to do something wrong and have a problem his only problem was with the one thing that had nothing to do with his career. It was all to do with the one thing that wasn't in his career… the one thing he had _never _been successful at.

Denise nodded disbelievingly and looked down at his newspaper. She picked it up and stared at the picture he had been looking at, reading the headline and gathering all the information she could from the quite long article. Nick stared at her as he continued mumbling about how him and Selena were fine. Looking from the article to his face, she knew he was lying. She could always tell… and she had always known one thing of her son… he would never _ever _admit when he'd been wrong. He was stubborn and full of insufferable pride.

"Why are you reading a Miley article, Champ?"

Nick's face dropped and he shrugged his shoulders, "I was just interested to see what happened between her and that guy… turns out it doesn't say…"

His mother let out a little laugh and she put the paper down, leaning onto her clasped hands, "I think you know what happened between them, Nicholas…" she smiled, "Because I stood and watched the other night when you came running from Miley's dressing room before everyone came out crying and upset…"

Nick held his breath. Busted…

"I didn't do anything…"

His mother smiled, "Of course you didn't… but if you're in love with her… you need to tell her…"

"Mom… I don't feel like that for Miley anymore… it's over…" he shook his head, "That ship sailed a long time ago…"

His mother looked at him and said nothing, "You have no idea what you're doing and how much of an ass you're being to all of these girls… just tell them the truth!"

"Why?" he shook his head, "There isn't any truth to be told. I'm with Selena and I broke up with Miley along time ago…" he picked up the paper and pointed to her face, "_I _broke up with _her…" _

His mother stood up slapping her hands to her thighs. She looked down at him and shook her head, "Fine… but you're failing to see what you're doing by not telling the truth, Nicholas…" she put her hands on her hips, "You've already ruined Miley by doing that, Nick…" she shrugged, "Don't ruin Selena too…"

* * *

_Selena_

Selena ended up kissing him on the cheek, as he diverted away turning his lips from her, gaining a confused glare and a break from their death grip hug. He smiled, sitting down onto the couch, pulling her down with him.

"You okay?" she asked wearily.

He nodded, "I'm fine…"

Selena laughed and shook her head at him, "That's a lie…"

He laughed and shrugged, "I'm fine… honestly… just a little tired and exhausted…"

Selena rubbed his arm gently and looked at him, "You sure…?" she asked, "You want me to go so you can sleep?"

Nick shook his head and smiled at her weakly. He knew what he had to do; it was just saying it that was the problem. He was going to have to think of a reason that wouldn't hurt her and avoid telling the truth. He was going to have to watch his words in case she cried and he would probably have to share one of those awkward hugs with her like he used to have to share with Miley at press events just so they wouldn't look shady.

"No… stay… I need to talk to you about something…"

"Okay…" she nodded, "But later… I meant to talk to you about that photo in the paper this morning…" she smiled, "Did you see it? It was the one of Cyrus getting dumped by the southern hottie? It was so funny…"

She looked at him intently confused as he refused to laugh. He would usually laugh, just so she was amused and they had something to talk about. Conversation had steadily become worse in their relationship since they had decided to give the couple thing a go. It was in fact, the murdering of what had happened to be an incredibly close and bubbly friendship.

At that thought, Nick had an epiphany.

He sighed and shook his head, "This couple thing isn't working, Lena…"

Her face dropped at his words and she gawped at him praying it was a joke and that he was simply kidding, "What?" she looked away from him her brow lowering quickly into a frown, "Why?"

He stood up, walking across the room, "I don't think we can be together anymore, you know… it's getting hard and stuff."

Selena stood up and walked towards him angrily, "'hard and stuff'? What does that even mean? It makes no goddamn sense…"

"Selena…"

"They warned me you were like this… they said that you were always everywhere in your head, never quite sure what the fuck you felt…" she was ranting, pacing his bedroom but she wasn't crying, "Apparently you're always quickly changing how you feel or not even feeling it at all…"

Nick was taken aback and he frowned at her. Who was this "They" that she was talking about? They didn't sound like the nicest of person.

"I just think after spending time with you that it's not working out how I thought it would…" he shook his head sitting down watching her pace, "We were better as friends… because we were really good friends before we got together…" he groaned frustrated. This wasn't how it was supposed to go, "Do you not realise I'm doing this to save our friendship? Do you not realise that? I'm going on _another _tour soon… you're going to be here in LA while I'm never going to get to talk to you because I won't have time… again! I just want you to be safe and sure in our relationship in case during the next six months that I'm gone… in case you meet someone else you have the opportunity not to throw it away. If we're friends then you will be able to continue your life normally… and you won't be tied down to some guy who won't even be calling you…"

Selena looked at him and shook her head confused, "You're breaking me up in case I want to be with someone else…?"

"No!" he shook his head, "I just don't think that this is going to work out… we should break up until I'm back and we can see what happens and if we haven't met someone else who we feel more strongly about… we can try again!" He smiled and took hold of her hand, "We're sixteen and we're meant to be having fun, you know…? Not tied down… I was tied down for two years… I don't want you to feel like I did…"

Selena looked at him for a moment and he began to worry that she was going to strangle him and tell him was an ass. He was shocked however when Selena's arms were thrown around his neck and she was hugging him tightly.

"Thank you…"

He was taken aback quickly and he shook his head. He hadn't expected her to move to his way of thinking this quickly. He thought she'd bitch some more, maybe slip in an uncomfortable desperate "I love you". He hadn't expected her to smile and give him thanks.

He frowned as he held her tightly. Shouldn't he be more hurt by this? Shouldn't he want her to want him still? He still liked her. His head was in such a mess. Maybe he didn't care about anyone but himself? He didn't care… his head was a mess and he didn't know what was going on, only that he needed to figure it out. He shook his head feeling cold.

"No problem…"

* * *

_Joseph_

"Why did you break up with Selena?"

Nick jumped and dropped the sugar dispenser in his hands. He looked around at Joe as he stepped onto the diner stool next to him and called over for the waitress, ordering himself a cup of coffee and the biggest breakfast on the menu.

"What?" Nick mumbled, he hadn't slept well the night before after Selena had left. His mind was buzzing with what the hell was going on with him. It was even worse that it was raining. The rain always made his brain cloudy with memories and he couldn't think clearly.

"I woke up and mom said that you broke up with Selena…" Joe said as he stole a piece of Nick's toast and bit into it with a crunch, "I found it incredibly strange considering that you were all over her last week… only after the City of Hope thing you suddenly decided that you didn't want to be with her…"

Nick sighed and picked up his coffee, drinking in the bitter liquid happily. He ignored his brother, picking up the sugar dispense and pushing it from one hand to the other. This was his mothers work. She was the only person who would instead of saying hello to Joe, tell him the woes of his younger brother. She knew how close they were. She knew that Joe would be able to talk to him about things better than she would, because more than likely he was going through them too.

"Joe…" he whispered, "Do you think that there's people out there that are _actually_ meant for each other…?" he blushed a little, "Do you _actually_ think that there's a list written somewhere with all the couples that are meant to fall in love with each other?"

Joe looked at him confused, leaning onto the counter, "You know I do…" he shrugged, "but I know exactly what you think of things like that… that what happens doesn't happen for a reason… that it just happens… why?"

Nick shook his head, pouring the sugar into his hands, "Did you really love Mandy?" he paused, "I mean… did you really think that you could love her forever…?"

Joe became uncomfortably and shook his head, "What does it matter? I mean she has boyfriend now doesn't she? That guy volleyball player she went on tour? I heard she really likes him… kinda makes things stop mattering after a person moves on…"

The younger brother's gut churned as he thought of Miley and Justin and how they had been moving on together. Apparently the guy had been with a girl for a long time and she'd quickly broken his heart after he'd given it to her. He and Miley were the things keeping each other happy and he'd ruined it for them. He was disgusted at himself. He wished he was like Joe sometimes. Joe could be so kind to so many people and quickly and surely fall in love. He could accept things with grace. He was his own brother's romantic hero.

Nick looked at him and saw the sadness in his eyes, "I'm sorry I told you that she wasn't worth being with…"

Joe shook his head, "You were just looking out for me…"

Nick shrugged guiltily, "No I wasn't… I was just trying to cut all ties with Miley…" he put the sugar onto the empty plate he'd been eating from earlier, "Now I'm beginning to think I should have been like you and tried harder to be friends with her…"

Joe looked at him with an inquisitive brow. He screwed up his face, kind of angry already, but more interested in what the heck he was mumbling about. He took the sugar from his hands and poured it into his cup.

"What are you talking about?" Joe whispered, "You haven't spoken to Miley in months… where is this even coming from? Your ignorance that she's even existed for the past year?"

Nick shook his head ashamed. He had wanted to tell someone for so long what he had done, but he hadn't had the courage to. He'd wanted to tell his mother but couldn't handle the disappointed looks she'd give him. His father wouldn't care and would say there were more important things to be worrying about than girls. Kevin was too busy hating the poor girl with the help of his new harem of Disney girls. Frankie was too young to understand what girls were even _meant for_, let alone how their minds worked. It only left Joe, and he felt guilty because barely a few months ago he'd yelled at Joe for wanting to date Mandy. He'd regretted it days after seeing Joe's crying face, but his pride was too much to tell him to ignore his words and love who he wanted to.

"I spoke to Miley last Sunday… at the concert…" Nick finally admitted in a whisper.

Joe blinked quickly. He knew that someone more interesting was coming up and he was evening out his emotions so when he reacted to the next piece of news he would do himself justice and yell the boy into the ground beneath his diner stool.

"Okay… and?"

Nick sighed and lowered his head. He took a deep breath in and held it, waiting to say it. It just built the painful tension. His pained eyes looked across the counter at the boxes of supplies they had against the walls. Napkins, toothpicks and sachets of ketchup all stared back at him. He felt taunted by everything, and guilty for the kind of ass he'd been for the past year.

"I kissed her…"

Joe was shocked and his face brightened up at the news. He smiled and slapped him on the back, "That's great…"

Nick shrugged him off, "No, Joe… I kissed her so that she ruined her relationship with Justin…" he shook his head. He didn't even know what he'd done, "I told her that I loved Selena and that I only kissed her so she'd have to break up with Justin…"

Joe stared at him in shock and said nothing. Nick covered his face in his hands and shook his head. Joe shook his head and Nick became even guiltier. It was worse when the person who usually excepted everything wrong he did with grace and compassion was simply staring at him like he'd as good as killed Miley. Nick looked up and realised… _he'd as good as killed Miley_.

He'd ruined her life… and it was a start.

"You're an asshole…" Joe spat at him angrily lowering his voice to a hiss, "A complete and utter _asshole…_"

"I know, Joe…" Nick nodded, "you don't have to tell me… I've thought about how much of a dick I am every second since."

Joe shook his head, "Any hope of ever even being friends with Miley again has been ruined by how much of a dick you are Nicholas…" Joe shook his hands inn front of him giving up, "I don't even have anything to say to you, ya know…" when Joe was angry, the New Jersey in him came out, "I'm just thankful that Karma will one day come back and bite you hard on the ass…" Joe pointed his finger and shook his head, "I seriously hope you're punished for everything you've done…"

"I know…"

Joe slapped the counter, "I don't think you _do_ know, Nick! Do you realise everything bad that happened in Miley's life for the past year has to do with you? Do you realise that every mistake she's made it's all because she wants you to know that she's okay… that she doesn't care about you…?" Joe slapped him quickly around the back of the head, "Idiot!"

The both sat silently as Nick nursed his now aching head. Nick turned to Joe who was adamantly shaking his head in anger. Miley was like his little sister he'd never had. She would never match up to Demi or Selena by how close they were. It was Miley who had talked to him about Mandy… it was Miley who had hugged him tightly when he had let Mandy down gently… it was _Miley _who had called him every night the month after her and Nick had broken up simply to ask if he was okay. They shared a month of heartbreak together and it was two different kinds. Phone calls and emails from each other about the ones they had loved and lost were what had kept them both going while they were nursing themselves back together. For that month, Joe and Miley had been each other's lifeline until everything was okay again…

"I seriously hope something bad happens to you because of this…"

Nick ignored him. He was just having another one of those moments where he felt that he had to get everything off his chest. He looked around at Joe as he scoffed down his breakfast that had recently been put in front of him. Nick looked at him, his mouth was full and he wouldn't be able to talk or scream at him if he told another truth. He opened his mouth and stood up.

"I have something else I need to tell you…"

Joe looked around at him confused and continued to chew as quickly as he could. It was quite difficult for him considering how much bacon, eggs, sausage AND pancake he had rolling around within his mouth. He just frowned at Nick and turned on his stool to look at him.

"I told Mandy that you were seeing someone else more famous and that's why you didn't want to be with her…"

Joe blinked at his brother and dropped his fork from his hand standing up in seconds. Nick stepped backwards from him and held out his hands protectively. He hated all these reactions from the people closet to him that he'd hurt most. They weren't scared to open all avenues on him and punish him the most.

"I'm sorry, Joe… I was just trying to get you over her you know… I thought she was a bad influence… I hadn't actually seen her with Miley and anyone else and realised that she's actually a great person…" he mumbled as Joe chewed, his hands balling into fists, "I did it for you…"

In a swift moment of pure anger and annoyance, Joe raised his fist quickly to Nick's face, punching him hard and roughly in the bridge of his nose where it cracked quickly. Nick instantly fell to the floor as Joe stood above him shaking out his fist. Nick pressed his hand to the gush of blood coming from his nose and groaned in pain. Joe just looked around untouched by the moment, but looking all the more better. It was the quick and easy solution to all anger.

"There was no need for that Joe!"

Joe shook his head and glared. He really could not believe who his once beloved younger brother had turned into. He was a complete idiot who was turning into something that he couldn't even describe. It was beyond everything that he could ever think Nick would come become on both ends of the spectrum. He was different. If there was one word to describe him it was different. He was nothing like the fourteen year old who liked playing the guitar and singing. It just wasn't the same… he wasn't the Nick he knew.

"There _was_ need for that!" Joe screamed at him his voiced pained with emotion and the threats of tears at his current frustration, "That was the first in a long line of Karma hits you're gonna get!" He walked over to him heading towards the door, throwing a napkin onto him as he stormed from the diner, "I hope it hurts ya like you've hurt everyone else!"

Nick turned looking to the door as it swung open and closed. He looked around the diner and found everyone looking at him. _Shit_ he thought as he realised where they were.

Joe was right.

They were _all _right…

With a momentary moment, he took the once good lesson learned from his brother and took the quick and easy solution to his anger at himself. He hit the counter with a crash, the pain spreading across his hand welcomed. He deserved it.

* * *

**A/N: TBC**

**BM**

**xoxo**


	5. Getting On Your Goat

**A/N: Chapter Five, only one more chapter until the unpublished chapter is reached. **

**Enjoy,**

**Beth**

**xo**

**

* * *

Chapter Five – Getting On Your Goat**

Miley and Mandy were sat in her dressing room, Miley's cases sitting on the floor as she packed away all her favourite clothes and shoes into them. Mandy was sat by her computer reading the newest _Seventeen _magazine with all of the reader reactions to Miley's interview. Miley grimaced at her angrily, throwing things into the case in anger, unable to believe that she was actually reading it knowing that it was going to be all hate for her.

"What's got on _your_ goat?" Mandy asked nonchalantly looking over the top of the magazine as Miley picked up several pairs of her chucks and threw them into her case without even looking.

Miley stood up straight. She'd been constantly angry since seeing the first image of her and Justin crying onto each other in his apartment. She placed her hands on her hips and painted on a smile so sarcastic it could be seen a mile away. She shook her head and nodded realising each and everything she could.

"My father hates me; my career is slowly and painfully going down the drain… I'm a 'slut'… everyone thinks I'm ten times worse than I actually am… I just broke up with another boyfriend…" she stopped and grinned so sarcastically it scared poor Mandy, "Oh and guess what? My crazy ass _bipolar_ ex-boyfriend is out to get me!"

Mandy cringed slightly realising that she may have just asked the wrong question and put down the magazine that until that second when she saw the cover she hadn't realised it had Selena's face looking back at her with a perfect grin.

"Miley… sweetie… it's been ages and tonight you are jumping on your _private _jet ready for your concert at the MGM Grand!" She stood up walking to a still angry Miley and placed her hands on her shoulders, "You sold out another arena and you think people hate you…?"

Miley shrugged rolling her eyes, "Fine… just those very select few don't hate me…"

Mandy laughed and slapped her on the arm moving to sit on a comfier chair now that her ass was numb from the plastic one. Miley slumped down next to her suitcase and began placing everything tidier into its separate compartments. She scratched her head watching Mandy who was looking at the magazine intently staring at one page like it was amazing. It could only mean one thing…

"What ya looking at?"

Mandy jumped and turned the page quickly. She shook her head, "Nothing… nothing at all…"

Miley nodded and knew right away what she'd been looking at. She already knew the other places where pictures were strangely hidden of him in case anyone saw. Miley always left them where they were however. Talking about the ones who had spoiled them both was forbidden at anytime between the two of them. The pair of them were a taboo subject for the two young women and they always would be. However, lately Mandy had been loosening her eyes to her subject at hand and her face was slowly filling with more pain. Missing someone was a terrible thing, especially when they didn't want you. It was the worse kind of loss.

"You gonna be okay without me for three days, Schmands?" Miley mumbled looking at her Mandy, her inquisitive and thoughtful eyes staring up at her ceiling as she lay across the seat lazily.

Mandy nodded silently and smiled, "I'll call you every hour of the day…" she sighed absent-mindedly, "I won't have anything else to do… Teddy's practising in Florida for a week and we finished at the studio recording…"

Miley looked up at her and frowned, "Are you sure you don't want to come with us? There's room on the jet…"

Mandy shook her head, "I have dinner with Garret on Sunday. I can't miss it… I've been so busy lately he's getting so pissed at me for not seeing him all this time."

Miley nodded and shrugged her shoulders seeing her sad face, "You want to borrow something to wear?"

Mandy shook her head twirling her hair around her finger, "its okay… he's too scared to go out in public with me now that everyone knows who I am. He doesn't want the clueless ones thinking I'm dating him…" she sighed heavily, "We're getting take-out and watching a movie…"

Miley looked at her and pondered all the changes and events they had been through since the moment they met. They were once two fun loving girls who had nothing to do but have fun and harmlessly flirt with boys who wouldn't matter in the morning. Their minds were once obsessed with three simple things – boys, clothes and having fun. They were once reassured that the world was on their side by family and friends. Things were easier and things didn't want them down on their knees begging for mercy and the normal rites of passage. They were once able to drink coffee without the entire world knowing about it. They used to be free.

"Are you okay, Mandy?" Miley whispered curling into a ball on the floor and hugging her legs to her chest.

Mandy nodded and shrugged her shoulders, "I miss things how they used to be, Miles…" she admitted quietly, "I miss dancing with you on stage and playing hotel hide and go seek," she laughed, "I miss hotel breakfast buffets with the guys… taking everything we could because it was free…" Mandy shook her head and sat up quickly looking around at Miley, ignoring the smile on her face.

"What time is it?" she said completely ignoring her previous words and shaking her head, "I've got to head over to the studio and pick up my schedule for next week before they leave…"

Miley shook from her reverie and looked down to her watch, "It's almost noon… you're not leaving already are you? My jet doesn't leave till six… and I'm done packing…"

Mandy sighed and they both stood up in time, "I have to Miles… its work…" she wrapped her arms around Miley's tiny shoulders and squeezed her tightly as they did whenever they were to be separated for more than a few days. She wasn't going to see Mandy for a week and it always made her sad.

"I love you, Bud…" Miley whispered sadly.

Mandy giggled, "Go knock them out tiger…"

* * *

Miley was bored and she was tired. She hadn't been sleeping since the thirty or so 'photographers' had been camped outside her gated house twenty four hours a day seven days a week. She was scared to their intentions every time her gate open, the amount of flash that went off for her mother picking up the mail was obscene. It was like a thunderstorm as they boomed questions to her and gratefully flashed lights in her face. She thought that one might run in hurting her mother and try and break into their house in order to get pictures of her. If people could climb on the houses of celebrities, then she could get attacked by the paparazzi. Sometimes she thought she was too nice to them. Maybe one day it would be something that they laughed about as they sold pictures of her fighting them out of her kitchen door.

It wasn't only the fear that kept her from sleeping. It was also their constant chattering and ordering of take-out food. She was fed up of hearing scooters driving up her street in order to deliver something for them as they so gallantly waited for the subject of their wealthy desire.

Miley's phone went off and she was so happy to see it move she didn't even check the caller ID, she just answered the phone. Her mother always warned her to be careful, that anyone could call her and try and worm something out of her. Her calls were screened so heavily that sometimes it was even hard for her bosses to get into contact with her. It often got her in trouble.

"Hello?"

"Miles?"

She paused and tried to determine why the voice sounded so familiar. She frowned and ventured a wild guess, pretty sure she was correct. After the amount of times they had both called each other in the past, it was imprinted in her eardrums.

"Joe?"

"Hey crazy…" she could almost hear his pleased sigh.

She grinned. It was customary that they sent each other a weekly text message or an email because they were both so busy. It had been that way since the two month mark of their break-ups and they made a bond not to talk about what they usually always talked about. It got to that point that they only ever had an emails worth of interesting things to tell each other each week after that. It was different however, if they needed the support of someone who wasn't close because of something harder than average. They were always a phone call away.

"Hello Danger…" she giggled dropping down onto her bed, "I've already text messaged, emailed and seen you this week…" she paused with a grin, "Either I'm unable to live without or you want to talk about something…"

Joe giggled, "It's a mix of both," she smiled happily. She loved her surrogate second older brother, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine…"

Joe laughed, "That's very easy to believe Miles… real easy to believe you LIAR…" she laughed, "Tell me the truth you goober or I will have to come by and beat it outta you…"

Miley giggled and huffed out a sigh, "I'm fine… Justin went back to Nashville so I don't have to have that awkward first few weeks after breaking up with someone… which is a plus," she rolled her eyes, "My dad's not spoken to me since he left for tour… my mom's scared to leave our house in the morning and I'm pretty much screwed up in the head as to what I'm meant to do to make everything better…"

Joe sighed dramatically, "Well you always _were_ slow…"

"Hey!" she whined, "I was smarter than the rest of you guys at school… you guys made spit-balls and hocked them at Linda…"

"She deserved it for making us do algebra…."

"Not in the back of the head…"

Joe giggled, "Or the ass…" Miley laughed joining him. She knew the climax of his reason for calling would soon be coming so she continued to laugh until the last possible second she could stop,

"Nick told me what happened…"

Miley took a tear stopping, anger-controlling inhalation of breath and put on her happy indifferent face, "Really? What was your reaction to the news? Did you tell him he was an ass and put him in the corner until he learnt his lesson…?"

"Kinda…" his voice raised a few octaves. She laughed at him knowingly and waited for the funny story of how many times Joe had slapped Nick around the back of the head and told him he was an ass. For as long as she'd known them, it was all he would ever do, no matter what he had done.

"I kinda punched him in the face…"

Miley stopped and let out a disbelieving laugh at his words. She would not believe it, "When?!"

"Yesterday…" he breathed, "He had to have it checked out cos they thought I'd broken it…"

"Did you?"

Joe sighed loftily, "Pretty much… they had to reset it. It wasn't too bad, but he felt it."

Miley paused and bit at her fingernails in habit, "Where was this?" Miley grabbed her laptop wondering if there were any pictures online yet. She'd been so busy she hadn't checked anything like she usually did, "I haven't heard about it yet…"

Joe giggled, "At the diner… at breakfast time…" she gasped and hurried clicking away at her computer, "They're on everything and everyone's speculating what it could possibly be about that I would want to hit Nick," she shook her head feeling slightly proud, "They seem to think that there's some love triangle going on between me, Nick and Selena… it fed fuel to the fire after Selena told everyone that she _had_ been with Nick but they've broken up in some interview yesterday…"

Miley stopped and her face dropped, "Nick broke up with Selena?"

Joe paused and struggled for his words, "He said he just wanted to be friends apparently… he asked me all this weird stuff about real love and got all truthful about things…"

Miley gulped nervously and felt her blood run cold and her cheeks burn red. Her eyes began to water and she felt like an idiot, "What kind of things?"

Joe stopped and she checked her phone to see if he was gone. He was there but he was being incredibly quiet. He was obviously thinking… something that Joe didn't do very often.

"Will you meet me at Coffee Bean in like half an hour…?"

Miley groaned jumping up and checking out the front gate of the gradually increasing cloud of paparazzi that lined her abode, "I don't know if any car I have is strong enough to get through the great wall of sleazy assholes…"

"Oh, crap…" Joe clicked his tongue thoughtfully, "It's okay… I've got my SUV… I'll rev it up and scare the crap outta them… I'll be by in fifteen minutes…"

* * *

Miley sipped at her coffee, courtesy of Joe Jonas as they walked around Universal City Walk, the paparazzi following them from a distance while five security guards escorted them. Miley smiled at him as he smiled for the cameras every once in a while, wrapping his arm around Miley.

"Do you realise how many stories are going to circulate about you in an hour?" she whispered under her breath, kissing him on the cheek, "They're going to make up so much crap about this… and it'll all involve your brother…"

Joe shook his head, "I don't care… I'll blow as much smoke up those vermin's asses as I want if it means people will want to kick the crap outta Nick…"

Miley looked around at him in shock and shook her head. Joe and Nick were never usually this hostile towards each other, "What the heck did that boy do to get on your goat?"

Joe turned around to face her and looked at her sternly, "He told Mandy that I was seeing someone famous and that's why I broke up with her. The real reason was that he'd told me that Mandy was no good for me and she was a bad influence on everyone she met…"

Miley gawped at him. The list of offenses against Nick Jonas kept getting longer. She had no words to describe how angry she was at Nick all over again, not for herself, but for Mandy… the one who had been her rock, along with Joe when all of her issues happened. She was the one that pulled her out of her deep pool of depression she had been spiralling into. She was the one who visited her everyday to make sure she was okay and soon she started to forget. They started to forget together.

Now Nick had betrayed her. He had always been nice to her, laughing with her and talking to her as she was one of his equals. All this time he had been looking down on her like she was an idiot. He had been making fun of her, laughing at her and hurting her without her even knowing it. He had ruined her life and Mandy hadn't been the same since Joe told her he couldn't be with her. It was like a crash into a concrete floor. Now she just saw that he had been deceiving everyone and feeding them crap to keep them happy and complete his unknown evil plan.

Maybe he had been reading Othello and getting tips on blowing smoke up people's asses from Iago. Maybe he was just born that way… maybe he just really wanted everyone apart from him being unhappy and ruined. She had no clue whatsoever.

"Why would he do that?"

"I don't know…" Joe whispered, "But I need your help…"

Miley frowned. If he was going to ask her to go anywhere near his brother, either one of them… she would tell him wear he could stick it. She wanted nothing to do with his brothers, only him and little Frankie. She would always be kind to Joe, because he was loyal to her and had never stopped being her friend no matter how wrongly or badly his brother's treated her. But she would not help him step anywhere near Nick. If he was going to fall to his knees as hard as she did, he was going to do it of his own accord, the way he should. She would not get called names for his wrong doings yet again.

"I don't want anything to do with him, Joe…" she whispered with a casual shake of her head, "I never wanna see him again as long as I live… he's an asshole… and he makes me sick…"

"No… Miley…" he was quieter by the second, "I would never make you do that… _Even_ _I_ don't want to strip him of everything until he cries…"

"_Boys don't cry…_" she teased reminded of when she's made him cry on tour by flicking him hard between the eyes because he'd stole her lunch for the fifth time that week. He'd stated that boys don't cry… their eyes simply water.

Joe shrugged, "Men cry… and Nick's still a little boy…" Miley raised her eye brow. He's so been reading those poetry books she got him as a gift to help him with his song writing, "But I need you to help me with something else…"

"What?"

Joe scratched the back of his neck and shrugged. A smile crept at his lips and Miley narrowed her eyes at his coyness. This was going to be a good thing. That smile always meant good things.

"I want her back, Miles…" he whispered grinning, "She's still all I think about… I want her back and I wont' stop until I've got her…"

Miley grinned slapping him on the arm, "Then go get her, Danger…"

"That's where there is a problem…" he groaned, "She has a boyfriend… she won't answer my calls anymore… she hasn't since I told her I couldn't be with her… you need to tell her it was all Nick's imagination and that I love her, Miles…"

Miley shook her head and dragged him by the arm, continuing to walk, "What we need is to make a plan, Danger… and a good plan at that…"

* * *

**TBC**

**xoxo**


	6. The Driveway

**A/N: New Chapter is next chapter. Enjoy **

**xo**

**

* * *

Chapter Six – The Driveway**

The hardest part for Nick who had been nursing a broken nose and wearing a very expensive blood-stained designer shirt had to be when he had to explain to his parents that it was his own brother that had caused him this grief. They stared at him in shock as he told them about his lies to Joe and how Joe hadn't taken the truth quite as gracefully as he could have. He admitted that he deserved it and asked if they would not mention any of this to Joe because it would only make him angry again.

The next day, he hid out in his bedroom all day playing guitar and waiting for Joe to return home from wherever it was that he had gone off to before Nick had even woke up. He was lucky that they had no work and they could quite simply do nothing for the day. It was a treat that they were not often given and for today it had been a complete curse. Kevin was with his girlfriend. Frankie was on a play date with a friend. His parents were spending the day alone together, going shopping for early Christmas presents and things like they usually did in September. Selena hadn't spoken to him since they had "broken up" and it pretty much left him on his own with nothing to do but wallow in his own self-pity. It was just him and his guitar and his Toluca Lake home…

Joe stormed in the house and up the stairs mid afternoon looking angrier and more determined than ever. Nick stood at his doorway and stared at him. He was rummaging through his room trying to find clothes and was shoving them into his bag. He was picking up everything he needed and putting it into his backpack with a grin.

"Where are you going?"

Joe looked up at him, seeing his face before returning to his search. His bag was almost fall and Nick wondered what on earth he was doing. He had better not been running away because that would have just taken it a little too dramatically. There was no need to ruin their career just because of a girl. They could get over it. They could piece things back together. They were brothers.

"Joe…" he asked stepping into the room carefully, making sure to stay double punching distance away from him at all times, "Are you running away?"

Joe looked up at him and laughed sarcastically, "Would that get you scared little bro?" Joe zipped up the bag and put it on his back, "You'd hate for the one thing that makes you happy to go wrong, wouldn't you…?"

Nick stared carefully. He could usually tell if Joe was lying or joking. Today he wasn't sure what he heck Joe was doing. He was just watching and observing, but not figuring anything out at all. It made him nervous that they were so disconnected from each other lately. They used to be so close and they used to tell each other everything. Now they just exchanged punches and apologies. They argued over girls and how they treated them, one of them worse than the other in that aspect. It was a far cry from the late night conversations on hotel balconies about how much they cared for certain females.

"Are you?" Nick stuttered his hands fisted into his pockets.

Joe shrugged his shoulders, "I dunno… I might think about it…" he walked past him and looked back, "Tell mom I said thanks… I can't believe she's letting me do something without you and Kevin for once…"

Nick looked at him confused and shook his head, "What are you talking about Joe?"

Joe smiled, "I'm going to Connecticut… a little trip to stop me from wanting to kick your _ass_ every time I see you…"

"You're getting ridiculous, Joe… do you realise that?" Nick laughed, "You're trying to scare me… and it isn't working… you're all talk," he paused and dropped his shoulders, "Now where are you going? Really I mean…"

Joe laughed and nodded, "Connecticut… I told you…" he narrowed his eyes, "Why would I be all talk… you're the one that's all talk, Nick…" he smiled, "you're the one who says all the stuff that's lies or simply in his head… I wear my heart on my goddamn sleeve…"

Nick put out a hand angrily to stop him and looked at him. The same look from the diner returned and he let go, inviting Joe to listen to him. Joe fumed at him, standing in the doorway waiting for what would be the last words spoken. He couldn't be bothered to listen to his bullshit… he couldn't even be bothered to reply to it if it was offensive. He could have whatever he wanted, because one day it was all going to rain down on him harder. Joe was bored with Nick's lies and complete bullshit. It was beginning to make his ears bleed.

"Why are you going?"

Joe laughed, "To get away from you…"

Nick groaned and shoved Joe lightly, "I'm sorry…!"

Joe laughed harder and shook his head, "Are you old enough to say that word? Because you sure as hell don't seem to know what it means… maybe once you learn how to use that word properly I'll pay attention to you…"

Nick paused hurt as much as he was able to be and forced a smile, "Are you seriously not going to tell me where you're going Joe? Are you going to sink down to my level at act like a complete ass to everyone…?"

"No…" Joe shook his head, "Just you…"

"Do you really hate me that much?"

"Right now… yes."

"Grow up, Joe…" he gave him another annoyed shove.

Joe pushed him back warningly, "Get a true character, Nick…"

Joe walked down the hallway heading for the stairs and walking halfway down them. He stopped looking back at Nick. He looked a little lost and it made Joe happy. He was an ass. He deserved to be treated this way until he got his comeuppance and retribution for his sins. He'd failed so many people. He had no right to expect anything from them.

"Just for fun… I'll tell you where I'm going…" Joe paused and Nick waited impatiently, "I'm going to Miley's concert with her at the MGM Grand…" he whispered, "She's in the car… we've got a plane to catch…"

Joe ran down the stairs and out of sight. Nick watched for a second where his form had disappeared to.

He turned around, his urge to look worse than his pride in not. He walked across his bedroom and peeled back his blind, watching over their driveway. It was derelict apart from Joe's black SUV sitting in the middle, a familiar figure sitting in the front seat looking annoyed and weary. He was surprised she was anywhere near him, even in the same postal area.

He got that familiar warm feeling in his gut and he tried to push it away as she looked up at him, giving him a dirty look and staring him down until he turned away. He cursed himself in embarrassment. He should have been in that car with her… but her and Joe were friends… they always had been. He looked back and saw Joe putting his bag into the backseat as he jumped in the car. Nick's cheeks went red as he looked up at him and gave a sarcastic little laugh.

They were all turning against him… and he had never felt so alone.

* * *

**TBC**

**xo**


	7. MGM Grand Mistake

**A/N: Previously unpublished, unseen and nervously written seventh chapter of Building on Failure**

**Reviews are welcome **

**Much Love, **

**Beth**

**PS: I don't think this is proofed very well lol. **

**xo**

**

* * *

Chapter Seven: MGM Grand Mistake **

"This isn't going to work, you know…" Joe laughed as they sat on her private jet, thousands of feet in the air.

Miley shook her head at him and laughed, "It's going to work, Joe…" she snatched the packet of Twizzlers from his hands and took one, "She's Mandy and she watches every single Romantic comedy I think ever made as well as being a true romantic… if anything as original as this has ever happened, then I am not aware of it, okay? It's gonna be cool…"

She picked up her dog and put him in her lap. He was running around like a crazy thing and it was the typical course of action every time she took him anywhere with her. He was a crazy little dog who just had to annoy her wherever he went. She was so glad that this flight was only for a few hours otherwise she didn't know what might have happened.

"We're talking about adding an internet video site into the equation of love…" Joe mumbled and she raised her eyebrows at him, "There's no way she's going to go for this, Miles… I assure you wholeheartedly one hundred percent."

Miley leant over the table down at her school work and shook her head. Her life was always the same and she still hated doing her biology work.

"It all depends if she's as forgiving to you as she always is to me…" Miley shrugged, "So if she is that forgiving, you might be lucky and she might even offer to buy you lunch to seal the deal."

Joe shook his head at her and laughed, "Miley what could you have ever possibly done to Mandy to have to make her forgive you that's as bad as what I did?"

"I broke a pair of her shoes…" Miley's eyes widened seriously.

Joe just laughed at her face in disbelief, "You're funny…" he breathed, "That's funny… you broke her shoes… I broke her heart… I don't think that they're the same thing you know…?"

Miley frowned at him and shook her head. She couldn't believe he was so naïve to the ways of a woman. How could he be laughing at something like this? They were shoes. No relationship was _ever _stronger than a woman's relationship with her shoes and her best friends. When the two came together in was always magic. When the harmony between these things was broken, it was pure hell.

"You really need my help."

* * *

The crowd was roaring as her opening act revved up them up on stage. Miley was walking around backstage doing her warm-up exercises. The green room that she had been given in the MGM Grand was huge and it made her nervous. It was always better to cram into a tiny little room and try and gain focus on what she was meant to be doing for the next hour or so rather than having to pace up and down a room nearly bigger than her backyard. It made her more anxious than she was already and she couldn't help but look over at Joe who was calmly playing on her laptop and eating a bag of chips from the huge buffet table nearby.

"Dude…" she hissed at him, "I'm playing a concert and I'm nervous, while you're completely putting yourself out there to do something like this and you're searching…" she walked over to the computer and laughed at him in disbelief, "Your own name?"

She shook her head at him angrily and shook her head disgusted at his casual never-ending vanity. He nodded and shoved more chips in his mouth, "I was seeing if their was any news about my idiot brother considering that we've been in this state for over twenty-four hours and nothing's come up about me being here yet."

She laughed at him, "I think that's the idea, Joe… we're talking about the element of surprise…" she sat down beside him nervously and covered her face with her hands, "People think that you're torturing your brother privately within the walls of your own home instead of thousands of miles away… its definitely got that element of surprise that you're looking for ya know… the one that's gonna make this plan one hundred thousand times better…"

Joe looked at her, "You're nervous about this aren't you?"

Miley shook her head, "I'm anxious…" she looked up at him seriously, "I want to know what's gonna happen afterwards… I wanna be the person she calls and goes 'Hey bud I wanna speak to Joe' DANG IT!" a girly smile crept onto her face, "and I want to giggle down the phone to her afterwards and plan an ice cream included sleepover afterwards…"

Joe choked out a laugh, "I'm spilling my heart out on stage and you're worried about a sleepover…?"

Miley nodded surely with a frown, "It's what I do…" a grin crept over her face, "Then I write a song about it…"

He laughed and they both looked around at the knock to the dressing room door. Miley felt nerves bubble inside of her and she rested her hand onto Joe's leg knowing that she was going to be leaving him for a while with his own thoughts while she went out on stage. It was potentially dangerous. Joe had the most random quick thinking mind of someone she had ever met when he was left alone with nerves. It scared her because knowing him he would have jumped out the window at the first sign of fear. She could almost imagine the dust cloud that followed after him as he zoomed his way along the highway.

"Miley… its time to go on…"

Miley nodded to the stage manager and looked around at Joe whose face had dropped and drained of colour. She winked at him reassuringly, ruffling his hair as she stood up, "Wish me luck…"

Joe smiled at her, "Only if you do the same…"

* * *

Miley clapped her crowd as they screamed and jumped up and down as she sung. She laughed and raised her microphone to her mouth as they all yelled her name and waved their little signs in the air. She looked around at the side of the stage and saw that the stage manager was fitting Joe up with his ear piece and handing him his own microphone. It was almost time for his appearance, and she was almost as nervous as he was… not only for him but for Mandy, her best friend who had never had a boy so in love with her as much as Joe Jonas. He looked up at her with a smile, playing with his ear peace and nodded his head. He was ready.

She'd never been more proud of her older adopted brother.

"What is _up _guys?" A scream echoed around her and she laughed, "I'm gonna take a little tiny break right now… just for a few moments… but while I sit at the back of the stage and try to get my breath back from the amount of fun you guys are letting me have… I'm gonna bring on a special guest who wants to say something very important to someone very close to my heart…" the room was almost silent in confusion and Miley grinned at Joe off stage, "Ladies and gentleman, guys and girls… please welcome Mr Joseph Adam Jonas!!!"

The crowd roared in her ears as she stepped backwards to grab the laptop she had so strategically placed at the back of the stage ready for Joe's appearance. She sat next to it and waved to the already recording camera as her own little hello to her best friend when she saw this. She grabbed her water and looked around at her band. They all loved Mandy and they already knew what Joe was about to do. Previously in the day, before they had gone to sound check, Joe had paid for lunch for all of them as long as they helped him prepare his speech to his lady love. Together, as a large group of about fifteen people, all arguing over one napkin at _In 'N' Out Burger_ they had produced one of the most amazing speeches Miley had ever seen. She couldn't wait to hear it…

"Have I got all my ladies out there!!!" the crowd screamed and Miley could almost see the relaxation and slowly reducing of nerves that Joe emitted. She smiled and crossed her fingers that he would be able to remember the speech and pull it off. This had to work… it had been nearly a year since that day and she couldn't wait for what she knew was meant to happen, to happen. It was one of those true love kinda things… and it made her smile just thinking about it.

"I came all the way here today… not only to _scream_ for my best friend Miss Miley…" he smiled turning around to Miley and giving her a wink. When Miley quickly held up the laptop so he could talk to the camera he became serious, "But to ask something of another very special lady…" he turned to the crowd, "Right now boys and girls… we are recording this very moment on that laptop right there…" he pointed to Miley and she waved, "I am going to say something… and you have to scream and say yes… okay?"

Everyone screamed and Joe nodded in appreciation, "alright then… here we go…

"Amanda Michelle Jiroux… I love you… I'm in love with you…" Joe's voice became desperate, "I love your smile and I love the twinkle in your eyes… I love the way that you smile randomly when nothing's funny and how you will act like a complete idiot all the time to make other people happy. I love the way you care about every person you meet and how kind you are. I even love the way that you cuss when you make a mistake or do something wrong."

Miley smiled at him tearfully, "For the past year, I don't think I've been able to pass a single moment without one name popping into my head… and that name is yours. You're all I think about and all I dream about. But I want to say sorry to you, because I've been an idiot… a complete ass. I was so wrong to ever believe that you were not the girl for me… I was so wrong to think that there could ever be any girl as beautiful, funny and perfect for me as you…"

That was it… Miley was crying. She was tearing like a baby and she didn't care. This was sweet and she was kinda jealous that she had no guy doing this for her. She shook her head; no guy she'd ever met was even good enough to think of something like this. Joe was a one in a million kind of guy. It wasn't often that a guy as kind and funny as Joe came along. He really was the kinda guy you'd be stupid to pass up. Of his fellow band mates, he was the better person. Miley knew that he would never be as childish as the other two.

"So I'm asking you, Mandy…" Joe stepped forward to the camera and rose a hand to his chest, "Take me back… give me another chance..." he shrugged and smiled, "If you're not gonna do it for me… do it for the thousands of people who want you to…"

Joe turned around to the crowd and put his arm in the air. All the people in the audience began screaming, every few statements and screams understandable through the rush of noise that filled the room. Miley giggled and covered her ears with her hands as people stood up and stomped there feet in demand of a Joe and Mandy romance. Joe was looking around at all the people and smiling widely. Miley shook her head as he spun in circles for a few moments while the noise died down. It seemed to have no end and it only made his and Miley's hearts swell with pride and their fans. Soon he turned back to the camera and smiled.

"I love you, Schmanderz…"

* * *

**A/N: Did you like it? Let me know ;)**

**I've got more where it came from. **

**Much Love, **

**BM**

**xo**


	8. Mandy Doesn't Know

**A/N: I'm updating these quickly because I personally like the chapters I've written for this already. Every Ten reviews is going to get a new chapter. Deal. **

**In this chapter, Nick J is depressed, Mandy gives her reaction and errr… hmmm that's about as much as I can say. **

**Read and Review dahhhlings XD**

**xo**

**Chapter 8 – Mandy Doesn't Know **

**

* * *

**Nick Jonas was depressed. At least… he was pretty sure he was. For the past two days, since his brother had run off to Connecticut with his ex-ex-girlfriend leaving him alone with his stressed out parents, loved-up other older brother, hyperactive younger brother and a still quite into him newly ex-girlfriend, he had felt nothing but anger and sadness at himself. He had sat in his room and attempted to write angst-filled songs that would make millions of fan-girls want to marry him. He had walked around Toluca Lake looking like someone had punched him in the face (it wasn't hard with his bruised face and broken nose) and refused to smile for the paparazzi. He just grimaced and pouted like the female he was turning out to be. What the heck had he done?

More importantly, what the heck was he supposed to do?

His mother, the last time he had seen her, hadn't been too happy with him. That, for the most part, was his fault… he'd yelled and he'd made her angry, asking her why she was letting Joe go across the country while he wasn't even allowed out to drive in his new car without Big Rob sat right next to him. She'd made a very valid point that his nose was still swollen, broken and that since he'd returned from the hospital he'd been almost comatose with the strength of painkillers that he'd been given and it wasn't safe for him to drive.

The fact that his mother had been correct had only made him worse. He'd hid in his room not even coming down for dinner and ignoring any yell or kind knock on the door that was aimed towards him. He'd watched movie upon movie and listened to more CDs than he thought he'd ever known. He'd written about four dozen different songs and they all centred around the one thing that he hadn't wanted them to centre around. That something that they'd been written about had been out of his life for a long time and he couldn't dare let her back in again. Everything that he had done to this something had been a huge and cruel mistake. He had treated it with disrespect and alienation. He had made it feel hated. He had taken away its greatness… but the scariest thing was that it was still ever present in his life. It always probably would be... and that was what made him afraid.

"So you finally decided to climb out of your hole and see the real world then?"

Nick scowled at Kevin and his father, who were laughing at him as he sat down in the den clicking on the TV and switching it straight to the news so that he could see what was happening in the world. It was probably more made up stories about him and his brothers… probably more stories of a love triangle with him and Joe involved with the same girl… he was shocked by nothing anymore… they could throw it on him. He would not be hurt by it. He knew what was truth and what was lies. He knew his own truth and lies anyway… who knew about the rest?

_"…it seems that Jobro Joe Jonas is doing some solo work… the nineteen year-old member of the Jonas Brothers was spotted on stage at the Miley Cyrus Foxwoods concert declaring his love for a certain lady… and of course in true Miley style, it wasn't just any kind of declaration. Four hours after his very public speech, the entire thing was uploaded on the Miley and Mandy youtube page entitled "The Miley and Mandy Show – Mandy's Surprise". Here's what we saw."_

**"**_**I love you Schmanderz…" **_said the sincere voice of his older brother.

Nick screwed his face up… this was gonna cause a lot of press coverage that they didn't need. His parents were going to kill that boy… they didn't have a publicist that good to deal with that amount of private life press. The whole reason they kept everything secret was because their publicist was so CRAP and they had been convinced that it would be better to remain ambiguous about their love lives. She could barely handle the press of a low key event. Every time the brothers went to a big event they ended up hiring extra personnel. She was absolutely useless. Nick was still cringing from that award show a year ago when he'd found her crying behind a curtain on the phone to her mom telling the poor un-expecting woman that she was useless and couldn't do her job. Nick was too kind to tell her any different. He had just given her a hug and told her she could do it. He was still with Miley back then… it was just more proof that he was a better person with her rather than without her.

_"E was on the case of this little revelation, and being great friends with the woman herself, we along with the rest of the Los Angeles area paparazzi called on Miss Mandy Jiroux to ask her what she thought of the profession of love from one of the most famous teenagers in the country… quite understandably, she was quite emotional." _

Nick watched as the hoards of cameras could be seen surrounding the door to Mandy's place, cameras and microphones in hands waiting for a reaction from the twenty year-old. An instant worried feeling settled into the pit of Nick's gut and he rung his hands together as he watched the young woman who had once been well known to him open the door to her apartment and smile at all the reporters. Ten months, of being away from her didn't stop him from instantly knowing that she wasn't too happy about the situation. Her eyes were puffy and her cheeks were blazing bright red, and not in the way that she had been crying. She was rouge with anger. She looked murderous. Her usual lofty and calm disposition seemed to have been thrown out of the window, and a highly satirical creature stood before the world about to make her piece.

_"Mandy! Have you watched the video?!" _

_"Mandy! What do you have to say about Joe?!" _

_"Do you love Joe Jonas, Mandy?!"_

_"Did you know that Miley was involved in this little plot, Mandy?! Did she tell you before hand?!"_

Mandy just stared at them and it made Nick feel so nervous and guilty that he thought maybe he should take himself outside and beat his _own_ ass. He deserved it after all.

Soon, Mandy held up a hand to silence them and they all calmed and very nearly silenced. She smiled another sarcastic satirical smile and shook her head, looking straight at the camera.

_"I have one thing to say…" _She explained in her high-pitched voice that sounded more hysterical than usual…

_"*BEEP* you Joe Jonas…" _

Nick gasped and shook his head. That was totally unexpected… totally, _totally _unexpected. Mandy was never that bad mouthed and hell worthy. She was usually reserved and calm about things. She hadn't cussed once when Joe had "broke up" with her. She had just ignored all three brothers and got on with what she was there to do. She danced and she took away the pain. Why was she so angry now? Shouldn't she have been happy?

He didn't understand women… they were a mystery to him. He couldn't help but feel that he was somehow more involved in this little problem more than he wanted to be. His mouth had opened and words had come out and he hadn't thought about all the consequences that came with the ones he picked to voice. His voice and his opinions, he was soon learning, were sometimes not what people wanted to hear anymore. There was only so much wise-ass, big-headed conversation that people could take. He could have sworn he was once a nice and kind person.

He looked around at his father and brother who were almost as shocked as he frowned at the TV. His father held his head in his hands. Nick bit his lip and pointed to the TV.

"This is my fault isn't it?"

His father and Kevin slowly looked around at him in awe. Slowly they both nodded, making sure that the guilt in Nick's stomach was suddenly permanent and heavy. He had never felt this way before.

* * *

**A/N: "Boys Will be Boys" – Miley tries to apologise for Joe for misjudging her best friend. Miley gives Mandy her piece and once she hears Mandy's reply, she's reminded of a conversation that the two best friends shared the previous Christmas. **

**Read and Review me dears ;)**

**B **

**xo**


	9. Boys Will Be Boys

**A/N: Updating quickly while I revise for my retake of my Frankenstein Exam on Monday, I take a moment of my time to give you this chapter and check out some stuff I've put on my blog about my new novel I'm currently working on. The Link's in my profile give me some feedback to what you think. **

**I've got loads of work to do and I'll only be updating chapters that I've already written until the work dies down. I have to get my photography project done by next week too as well as my revision. Plus, somewhere in all this time I have to jump in a car to go visit my brand new cousin who was born on Friday after a emergency c-section a week later after he was supposed to be. **

**So… busy, busy, busy**

**Reviews are lovely ;)**

**xo**

**

* * *

Chapter 9 – Boys Will be Boys**

Miley had spent the entire time apologising to Joe. She wasn't sure who she was apologising for, and if she hadn't been busy doing so, she would have attempted to make a list. She always had to apologise for other people and soften the blows of other unkind and unthinking people. She was always the one that had to deal with the crap that was blown accidentally into her face, forcing her to deal with it when it wasn't even something that she should have had to deal with. She had come to terms with the fact, however, that her life was never going to be as fair and kind as she wanted it to be. It was sometimes simply too hard and all she wanted to do was curl into a ball and forget about everything. She had a father who hated her, a creepy ex-boyfriend and a career that was slowly declining. Friend problems was _all_ she needed.

"You _don't _have to apologise for her Miley!" Joe said as they climbed from the plane at the Burbank airport and walked across the asphalt to get to the Million air glass doors.

"She's my best friend Joe…" she mumbled as they wheeled her huge cases behind them, "I kinda do have to apologise for her, especially when she doesn't realise that she's the one in the wrong."

Joe laughed and turned around, "But she's not in the wrong. I'm the one who dumped her because of a brother that I couldn't ignore. I'm the one whose brain was too small to have some independent and coherent thoughts other than what I was going to have for breakfast! She _should_ be mad at me! I don't deserve her…"

Miley stared at him and let out a sigh. She didn't know what to say because everything he had said was half true. He had been an idiot, he shouldn't have listened to his brother and Mandy did have a right to be mad at him because of it. But Mandy loved him, and he loved Mandy… and there was no other way to say it and there was no way that either of them were going to respond to each other just because of those three words that they were so desperate to believe, that the whole entire world were desperate to believe, and there was nothing Miley could do to help them until they could fully understand.

"I gotta go…" he wrapped his spare arm around Miley's shoulders and hugged her tightly for a moment. She felt the drop of his lips pressing a brotherly kiss to the top her head and she sighed when he released her and walked away. She hated goodbyes. He turned around and gave her a wink and a smile. She only returned his gestures when he shook his cell phone at her, indicating that he would call her later. She waved goodbye at him as her mother walked behind her telling her to hurry. She sighed momentarily before following her deep in thought.

What would it take for them to understand?

* * *

"You are an idiot!" Miley yelled as she stormed into Mandy's apartment with the key that her best friend had given her months ago as a way of her not having to hang around so that the paparazzi could snap away their cameras at her. She had hardly used it and always forgot it because they hardly ever went to Mandy's place. It was so boring compared to Miley's huge house and Mandy knew that she could always find food there.

"What the heck are you doing!?!" Mandy squealed as she tugged her bathrobe tighter around her. Her wet hair was slick to her cheeks and she didn't look too happy that Miley had just barged in on a wonderful Monday afternoon halfway through her "Mandy day" and telling her she was an idiot.

Miley didn't care.

"You're an _idiot!_" Miley repeated with a stutter of a laugh that could have meant a million different things, "He's _in love _with you and you're just gonna tell him to fuck off and forget that you haven't been moping after him for about as long as I moped after his goddamn godforsaken brother?!"

It took Mandy a moment to compose herself after she heard those words leave Miley's mouth. She blinked herself out of it and shrugged her shoulders, ignoring the fact that in her own special way she'd encouraged Miley to speak like that. Miley wasn't meant to speak like that.

"He's doing it for publicity…" Mandy shook her head walking into her bathroom as Miley followed her, "He isn't in love with me… he only gives a crap now that I'm actually known by people…"

Miley gawped at her and shook her head, "He's in _love_ with you." She nodded quickly and put her smart-ass head on. Her voice was laced with anger and annoyance that she didn't really want to be there while she was talking to her best friend. She was just deeply pissed that her best friend was so damn stupid. "He's in love with you and has been since his dumb ass younger brother told him that you weren't good enough for him and he believed him. If you're gonna hate him for anything… hate him for being loyal to his families opinion and wishes!"

"I don't hate him, Miles… I just think he's a dick…"

Mandy sighed and walked back through her apartment until they hit the kitchen and Mandy switched on her coffee maker to keep her mind of the fact that Miley was following her around on the tips of her heels and telling her everything she _didn't_ want to hear.

"'Fuck you Joe Jonas' is you not hating him?" Miley spat at her and Mandy flinched against the wishes of her need not to, "He poured his heart out to you and that was all you could say, Mandy… I sat for three hours watching him write that speech like his life depended on it… and then I watched his heart break when you said your little piece on national TV last night…" she _was_ angry at her best friend. It was her own tactic of making her realise what she was wrong about. She'd apparently inherited this tactic from her father, and he'd never been successful at this tactic and it always flew back in his face. She guessed that he didn't help that he was always the person in the wrong, "You're being stupid…"

The older girl spun on her dancer's feet to look at Miley now annoyed. Mandy laughed at her and shook her head slapping her hands together in a sick form of unnecessary applause, "I'm being stupid… _I'm _being stupid about a Jonas brother?" she leant on her kitchen worktop and pointed at Miley looking furious, "How am _I _being stupid about Joe when nearly a year after Nick left you you're still so madly in _goddamn_ love with him that you're kissing him at benefit concerts and making childish pacts with his brother! I told you then, I'll tell you now, Miley…" she paused and glared at her, "The Jonas Brother's are all _liars_ Miley… everything they say is _bullshit_… complete bullshit…

"Don't trust them…"

"Yeah… well…" Miley shook her head at her best friend and screwed up her face furiously, "At least I admit it…"

She threw the key at her best friend and turned on her heel quickly leaving the apartment with only one thought and one memory. As she kicked out the stand of her bike and rode along the street, it was the only thing that lingered in the corners of her mind. As the wind whipped her in the face almost as harshly as the few thoughts she had bubbling with in her, she felt them same old reminiscent tears return to the corners of her eyes.

* * *

_Miley lay next to Mandy in the huge hotel room. They were in New York and it was the day before they were playing Rockin' Eve. Mandy was seeing her family tomorrow and was still buzzing after her date with Joe. He'd taken her to his favourite restaurant and she couldn't remember the last time that she had laughed so much with a guy. He was so funny and it had all started with his ingenious idea to wear disguises and act like idiots for the six hours that they were on a date. She had been so glad he'd had some time off to spend with her. It was always them hanging out backstage after the shows and in tour busses when everyone else was there and Miley and Nick were arguing. When he'd asked her out that day a week ago she'd been so glad and excited. She'd been waiting for him to do something for months. _

_And now, she was still happy because she was sure that sooner rather than later, Joe was going to ask her to be his girlfriend. He'd insinuated it and he'd pretty much almost asked her already. He was leaving to prepare for his own tour soon and he was going to have to ask her before he left. There was no way he could ask her over the phone. He was a Jonas. They were all about chivalry and being gentlemen. _

_"I can't believe it Miley!" she hissed for about the hundredth time that hour. They were lying in Mandy's bed talking and it seemed that Mandy was the only one talking. Miley was as silent as a mouse, smiling every so often, but not with that same old sparkly grin she often gave people. It was a smile filled with thoughts and feelings and deep-set confusion that it was highly unlikely she would try to talk about whatever it may be. _

_Mandy, however, didn't notice the in-deep thinking that her best friend was currently performing, and was instead wrapped up in her own world of Rockefeller centre, department store antics and crappy cups of dollar coffee. She didn't realise that Miley hadn't said a word in an hour or that she had already silently cried to herself once without her realising. _

_"I'm going to actually be Joe Jonas' girlfriend!" she laughed, "Joe of all people… Joe freaking Jonas…" Mandy grinned and grabbed the sheet to pull it over herself and hide. She shook her head widely from side to side in excitement and gave a tiny little squeal of happiness before peering over the white sheet to see the still smiling face of Miley. She sighed suddenly and sat up looking down at Miley, "Why are you being so quiet and unexcited…?_

_The younger of the two young women found her eyes rolling subconsciously into the back of her head as her legs started to make a move out of Mandy's room and back to her own where she could cry again… for yet another time that week. _

_"I'm tired…" _

_"You haven't said anything about me and Joe or what you think…" _

_Miley turned to her as she opened the hotel room door and leant against the wood of the doorframe. It was cold and unwelcoming, almost as much as this conversation was becoming. _

_"Just be careful…"_

_"What do you mean?" Mandy frowned. _

_Miley shrugged, "Don't get your hopes up…" _

_"I don't get what you mean…" _

_Miley shook her head, "They all share the same genes," she explained quietly and carefully, "What's to say that they won't all act the same as each other… so be careful…" _

_Mandy stared at her for a moment as she nodded quickly and bowed out of the room. She shook her head confused and wondered for a second about what Miley could possibly mean. Who was acting the same? Sometimes Miley didn't make much sense to Mandy and it was all gibberish. She was like a philosopher and there was always something more going on in her head. What it was this time, Mandy had no clue.

* * *

_**A/N: Can someone tell me if you guys like this story or not? Because either everyone's left this site and gone some place else, or you hate what I've written. Lemme know. I'm curious because it's been a while since I've been here and I'm unsure what's going on. **

**Much Love**

**B xo**


	10. Bruised

**A/N: Quick update. I done an exam on Frankenstein today and I've come from it feeling a lot more calm about life in general. I also get to see my wee baby cousin on Saturday and take as many darn pictures of him as I can (which my photography tutor probably won't like, but oh well). Chapter 10 here… which in my own opinion should be called "Nick gets some guts".**

**Read and enjoy my loves… give my your feedback… it's wonderful to hear or read… or… whatever… XD**

**xo

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**Chapter Ten: Bruised**

He hated the time of the day when the mail man came. It always meant more sacks of fan mail that they would throw onto the rest of the piles of existing mail awaiting reading. He hated how many girls would write letters to him, asking him to marry them and declaring their love for him. It always meant more guilt and more shame on his part. They had no idea who he really was. They didn't know if he was as good as the boy he played himself to be in front of the cameras. To them, he looked like a quiet reserved kind young guy. Instead, he was truly a monster, slowing ruining the lives of all he came close to. He was ashamed of himself.

"Did you get the mail yet?" Joe mumbled to him as he walked down the stairs in his boxers and his "I'm with stupid" t-shirt that Nick couldn't help but think was aimed at him.

The younger of the two brothers turned to the other in shock. It had been four days since Joe's return to California and he had said a grand total of zero words to his younger brother since he'd stepped through the threshold. Joe had been getting angrier at Mandy's response on the news as the days went on. He blamed Nick more and wanted him out of his way at all times. He had become more desperate towards getting Mandy back and constantly asked questions about the news and the mail, or if he'd had any phone calls as though hoping she would spontaneously change her mind. He had however, been sadly disappointed each time he asked. They only ever got fan mail and most of their phone calls and messages were from family and work colleagues. If they were going to get a personal call, it would always be to their cell phones. The only calls Joe had been getting on his cell, as far as Nick could tell from what he had overheard, was deep in depth hour long conversations with Miley. These phone calls had frequently planted a sickly, nervous feeling in the pit of Nick's stomach and they awoke him back to reality. He was still and idiot. The amount of lives he had ruined still added up to four: Joe's, Mandy's, Miley's and his own.

But today, he knew why his brother was talking to him. Their parents were Christmas shopping with Kevin and Frankie and there was no one else in the house that he could have asked without having to do the searching himself. He was angry… but that never stopped him from being a lazy ass. He never wanted to do anything on his own.

"He hadn't been the last time I checked a couple of hours ago," Nick's words were carefully chosen, "I don't really know what time he comes…"

Joe sighed and opened the door to their home, letting a brisk gust of wind almost knock him backwards slightly as he looked across over at the driveway where their mailbox stood.

The mail must have been in their as Joe soon walked from the door across the lawn to reach his destination. Nick watched him before he returned moments later carrying a bundle of letters and a huge smile on his face.

"What is it?" Nick asked before he could think.

Joe shook his head. Apparently, just for this morning, he had forgotten this war of silence he had been ever so surely winning for the past four days and was instead calling a temporary truce before beginning the war again. Nick didn't mind. He would do anything to get his brother talking to him again instead of treating him like he didn't even exist.

"Miles sent me our invitation to her birthday party at Disneyland…" he opened the envelope and his face dropped, "Hmm… it's got all of our names on it… must be her bosses making her keep everything nice and kind in front of the kids," he explained, "Miley would never want you there…"

Nick smiled and nodded. Of course Miley would never want him there… she didn't want the life-ruiner anywhere near her. Having him at her party would simply be inconceivable in her mind unless she was forced to by the wonderful source of power that was their bosses. They were always really going to be the ones in control of this party. From what Nick had heard of the party, there was no way that Miley could ever have organised it on her own. She was the kinda girl that went for cheap crappy cupcakes and bowls of Cheetos. Cakes that were almost as big as she was were never a good idea.

Nick nodded and slid from the stool he was sitting on and moved across the room, grabbing his keys and jacket and heading out. If he wasn't wanted… he wouldn't stay.

* * *

"Hey Paty…" he said to the woman behind the counter as he walked into the diner. She smiled and looked at him solemnly. The last time she had seen him, she'd been handing him towels to mop up the great amounts of thick rich red blood that was flooding from his nose. She hadn't said a word about anything the entire time she had been nursing his wounds of stupidity that day. He was thankful for her discretion. He'd watched as she turned down offer upon offer of money for information on the two brother's argument. But Paty, however, was not the kind of woman to run an establishment where celebrities were different from normal customers. They were normal customers and she valued their business and support more than she did giving away their lives to people who didn't care. Those people came into her diner as a way of escaping. This was a place they could think of as another home.

"Coffee?" she mumbled taking out a cup and planting it onto the counter as he sat down silently. He nodded with a weak smile and she poured him a cup. He sipped away at it as the woman stood in front of him with a smile. She was an elderly woman but she always made people feel welcome. She'd worked in this diner her entire life and it had belonged to her family since its establishment in the sixties.

"What's wrong?" he asked as he noticed her staring at him.

She narrowed her eyes at him. She was a wise old thing and it was quite scary sometimes.

"Mandy's at that back table," she said matter-of-factly, showing him his usual order written onto her notepad without even a word mentioned. He looked from her to the notepad and nodded. He looked back at her with a frown and shook his head. He was clueless. She'd expected as much, "Go talk to her about your brother… maybe then you're nose will stop looking so bruised and broken…"

Nick looked at her. He knew that he had to talk to Mandy sooner or later. If he was to tell the truth then Mandy and Joe would make up and be together finally after nearly a year and then maybe Nick would stop feeling so guilty about everything that he had done. He would have solved the problems of two lives. Having two lives ruined was always going to be better than having the four he had done. At least he would have the friendship of Mandy and the brother-ship of Joe back in his hands to hold onto. But he had known since that moment all those months ago and all those moments after that winning back the affections of Miley was going to be harder than anything he had ever done. She was tough. She didn't break on anything easily. She was stubborn… then again… so was he.

And after what he'd done he probably wouldn't have forgiven him either.

He approached Mandy tentatively, holding his coffee cup as though it was a full body shield. He didn't know what he would do if Mandy became violent. He hadn't known her to be violent, but her interview on the news a few days ago had brought her to a whole new light. She could get angry instead of just hysterically stupid or panicky. She was a very emotional woman and he had brought about most of those negative thoughts and emotions into her life. It was time he fixed it.

"Hi."

She looked up from her copy of _Twilight _frowned. She closed the book slipping her marker between the pages and shook her head at him in confusion, "What do you want?"

He shrugged, "I was sitting over at the counter and I saw that you were sitting here alone and I wanted to see if you'd want to sit with me and perhaps… ya know… talk?"

Mandy pushed her book further away from her grasp and nodded, "Okay…"

As he quickly rushed to sit down, it was like everything he had been building up inside of him came erupting from him like a volcano. He planted his coffee on the table and leaned towards Mandy quickly, the words spilling from his mouth like word vomit… stupidly idiotic word vomit that made absolutely zero sense to anyone who heard it.

"Please… _please _take Joe back…" he hissed to her closing his eyes hopelessly, "It isn't his fault… it's my fault… _my fault_… don't blame him for me being an idiot… please Mandy…"

She looked at him confused and shook her head at him. Nick had always thought she was a little slow, but now he knew that it was just because he was making no sense at all to her. She knew nothing of what he was talking about. She had no idea of how much of an idiot he had been. She had not one clue of how unkind and cruel he had been to her without her knowledge. He was prepared for her to hate him after this, just as long as she was able to forgive Joe and let them both be happy again. It was enough happiness for him.

"What are you talking about?"

"Take Joe back."

She laughed, "No…"

Nick shook his head and shrugged his shoulders, "Why?"

She smiled and clasped her hands together on the table in front of her. She was instantly thrown into being in charge of this conversation and Nick sensed that she knew it just from how he was looking at her pleadingly. He wasn't going to give up in his requests. He was not going to let Joe be unhappy and her be completely clueless. It had been too long amount of time. He would do anything to make her take him back… beg, plead, steal… anything.

"I thought it was quite obvious why I won't step within a mile radius of your superficial asshole brother…" she said plainly, "I don't want anything more to do with him. He only wants me because people know my face now and I won't embarrass him. He wasn't interested ten months ago when all I wanted in the world was for him to love me."

"He _does_ love you!" Nick begged her, "He's so in love with you that it hurts to see him like this…"

Mandy laughed and lifted her napkin from her lap, throwing it onto the table.

"Well… he sure did prove his love for me when he dumped me two weeks before you left the tour, breaking my heart and my hopes in the process…" she mumbled, "He was fine back then and he sure seemed fine when he was brainwashing my best friend into thinking he was the most wonderful guy on the planet…"

"Miley's got nothing to do with this…"

"Obviously she has because he's talked her into this!" Mandy slapped her hands onto the table moving forward to hiss her words at him until their noses were almost touching with the secrecy of their conversation, "She came to my apartment yesterday saying how he had done all this stuff and to trust him. I couldn't believe it. She used to hate you guys!"

Nick paused taking in her statement as slowly and gently as he could. It stung a little but he didn't let it get to him.

"Nope… it's just me and Kevin she hates…" he nodded accepting his part, "Kevin because he has no sense of style and me… well… she hates me because I don't know what I've got till its gone… and I don't know how to play fair…" he shook it all out of him, "Blame me… blame me for everything… I'm the one that caused all this trouble for you and I take sole responsibility."

Mandy stared at him, figuring him out, trying to read what the hell he was trying to say in the sincerity of his eyes. He was adamantly staring at her. He was making sure she understood his seriousness. He meant business today and not his usual type of business. It was business of the heart… family business. It was the only actions that truly meant something to him. His family were everything. The people he _loved_ were everything to him. He had to save them. He had to rescue their hearts from being broken more than they were already.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that I was the person that told Joe to not ask you to be his girlfriend when he was so sure he was going to marry you one day…" Nick began, "I told him that you weren't good enough for him and that he should forget about you… and he did. If you're going to be pissed at him for anything, be pissed at him for caring so much about his family's opinion."

_SLAP!_

He hadn't seen it coming, but it had been hard, fast and painful. He pulled away from her hand and shook out the pain with a laugh. She sat there, raised in her seat a little as she puffed hard and fast on her anger attempting to release it from her pent up body.

"Why would you _do_ such a thing!?"

"Because I'm an idiot… and so are you for not noticing how much he still cares about you…"

She gasped out a laugh and shook her head, pointing her finger down hard onto the edge of the table, "I didn't listen to Joe because he broke… my… heart…" she tapped her finger onto the table with each word, "If I'm an idiot for that… What's your excuse?!"

Nick took a deep breath and smiled at her as calmly as he could. He didn't know, was the answer to her question. He had no idea why he was such an idiot, just that he wanted to change things. And that was what he was doing. That was why he had walked over to this tiny two seat table in the middle of a diner in little old Toluca Lake – he wanted his atonement. He wanted to be forgiven for being stupid and for pushing everyone slowly but surely as far away from him as humanly possible.

"Can I ask you something?" he asked completely changing the subject and ignoring her question, instantly changing the entire tone of the once heated conversation.

"What?" she breathed.

"This Justin guy…" he mumbled, "The one that Miley was or is seeing…"

"What about him?" Mandy cut through him impatiently. He sighed and waited patiently, trying to pick the correct words. None of them, however, seemed enough.

"How much did she like him…?"

Mandy shrugged her shoulders. There was only one way for her to explain it that he would ever understand, "He brought back that smile on her face for a little while longer each day…" she played with the straw in her chocolate milkshake and shook her head as she looked into its depths. A smile of pride began to appear on her face as she remembered everything that little girl had fought against everyday since the moment she'd stepped back on that tour bus. Then she realised what Nick had done and the smile began to disappear. "She was slowly coming back to us and then one day it all just disappeared into _nothing_…"

She paused for a moment, before realising what was occurring. She narrowed her eyes at him knowingly not really needing an answer, "Why do you care? Are you jealous?"

He laughed and shook his head frantically, "No… no… of course not… I was just wondering how she was taking the whole break up thing?"

Mandy let out a chuckle and stood up wiping her mouth with the napkin, "They were friends more than anything… I guess that's made it a lot difficult now that they broke up. All she ever cared about was how he was and if he was okay. She was sure he was going to do great things…" she grabbed her bag and paused beside him. Swiftly, her hand made contact with the side of his head behind his ear, the slapping sound echoing for a moment.

She smiled at him pleased as he grabbed the side of his head in pain.

"That one was just for good measure…"

She left as Nick giggled to himself. One life down, three to go...

* * *

**A/N: Is Brother-ship even a word? Because it is now. It's my word. How did you guys like that? Was it okay? Let me know dudes and dudettes and any other kind of being to which you may be. Hmmm…sorry... im hyper.  
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**Reviews are lovely ;)**

**B xo**


	11. Sweet Sixteen

**A/N: O – M – G…**

**Major Niley happenings people… major major happenings major Niley Moments... my first reaction "aww they grew up!!!"… I'm an inspired little monkey XD. So I've pretty much got good news on the writing front. I pretty much have a week spare to write whatever I want next week. I've done all my coursework nearly and I received emails from my universities… so unless I'm beckoned to London to attend meetings with the admissions people, then I can pretty much knock out a good couple of chapters for each story next week ;) **

**Show me your Niley love XD yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee**

**xo**

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Chapter 11 – Sweet Sixteen**

She had never worked this much on a birthday. She had never really worked this much in this short amount of time really…

Were parties meant to be hard work?

She didn't know. She just knew that her party was really, _really _hard going on the nerves and the ever-increasing stress that she had building up in her. She hadn't even arrived at the actual party, yet the amount of interviews and rehearsals she had to do for the entire thing were slowly creeping up and worrying the crap outta her. GMA, Tyra… they all wanted to talk to her on this big day that she was having. They all wanted a piece of her now that she was busier than she had been since she had been on the last leg of her tour. Interviews! They always wanted interviews. They all wanted exclusives and they all wanted to know what was going on with her life. She always had to lie and she didn't like it. Today, she was following the lead of her father and sticking with his story. Her and Justin were friends. She and her father were best friends no matter what. Her party was going to be great and they had loads of cool guests coming. She was calm. The pressure didn't affect her. She was fine. Absolutely fine… she always was _fine. _

So if she was fine, why did she burst into baby like sobs when her mother presented her with the tiniest most beautiful little puppy she had ever seen? Why did she become so overwhelmed so early in the party? What was her problem? What the _heck _was wrong with her? She just wanted to sleep.

"Are you okay, sweetie?" her mom smiled at her as she sobbed onto her shoulder, potentially ruining the make-up that had recently been applied.

"I don't know why I'm crying…" she said as she held the small puppy that distinctly resembled a small ball of fluff in her arms. Her mother's arms fought to hold her. She sobbed, "Why am I crying? What am I crying for?"

Her mother shook her head. She didn't know either. The past few months had been overwhelming and it was finally getting to them all as they tried their best to celebrate one of the most important birthdays of Miley's life. It was a struggle, especially as they were attempting to forget all the bad things for one day and concentrate on the good. They were there to help people and they were there to give Miley a day that she deserved. Amongst all of her bad days and actions, no one could deny that Miley didn't work harder than anyone in the business. She did whatever she could when she could. She would do anything to keep her mind from her troublesome life. She had attempted too many times to act like a normal teenager and her mistakes only made her career worse off. She'd decided that she was going to work as much as she possibly could. She didn't want to be seen as a bad person for doing normal things anymore.

Her walk down her purple carpet was filled with yet more interviews and more work to be done. There were celebrities and there were all kinds of hostess type things she had to do. She had to say hello and thank them for coming. She was quite looking forward to seeing people like Emily and Mitchell who she hadn't seen for what seemed forever. She was looking forward to meeting famous actors who she looked up to who she couldn't believe had come. She was looking forward to hugging Joe when he walked down the carpet. She was ready to scowl at his brothers when they followed him.

But the moment that she saw them walking down the carpet to screams of girls, she was surprised to see that only two of them were there. Joe was smiling at her as he started giving his own interviews, Nick was just trying to keep his mind on what he was doing with an incredibly nervous look on his face. When she whispered to her publicist to ask her where the other one was, Laura told her secretly that Joe and Nick were telling the press that Kevin was unwell with food poisoning. Miley shook her head and gave a laugh. He was almost as bad as Nick, except he was too much of a wimp to show his face to her for the first time since they were on stage together and he didn't _have _to talk to her. He just had to appear to be okay with her being there. If he was to appear at her birthday party, he would have to talk to her, otherwise he would look like the bad person. Miley shook her head. _That was because he was the bad person. _He was the most childish of all of them.

"Mandy's presenting E!" she screamed as Laura grabbed at her hand to stop her. She pulled her back to the next reporter and forced her to talk to them, slowly following the protocol of interviews. There was an order and she had to talk to all the people that Laura had written on her clipboard. She smiled and complied with their demands, smiling when she saw Joe talking to the _Extra _lady next to her. She turned to him with a smile and gave him a wink. She had a plan and by the looks of it so did Nick who was slowly forcing the three of them, via the amount of interviews he was getting through, slowly towards Mandy at her reporting post.

"What the heck?!" Miley asked as she hugged Mandy quickly. Joe and Nick were stood behind them waiting to be interviewed.

"It's supposed to be a surprise!" Mandy smiled. She looked uncomfortable with Nick and Joe standing nearby, Joe's eyes staring at her amorously. She turned back to Miley and grinned, "Happy Birthday!"

Miley shook her head and looked around at Joe and Nick. Nick seemed to want to do something and she caught his eye as he winked and nodded at her. She looked back at him as Mandy asked her questions from the piece of paper she had in her hands like the geek that she was. Nick was nodding at her and indicating with his eyes between Joe and Mandy, trying to get her to understand. Her eyes widened in realisation and she smiled. Why could they still work like a team?

Mandy asked her a few questions and she answered half heartedly as she slowly moved her way over to the two brothers. Mandy's brow seemed to furrow with each inch forward that she stepped. She stopped finally, mid question and looked at her confused, "What are you doing?"

Miley looked at her and walked over to Joe with a large over-dramatic groan of false annoyance, "I'm grabbing Joe before you can run away like the wimpy little girls that you are!"

Nick snorted and both Joe and Mandy went red with the words that she said. Miley pulled Joe onto the podium and stood him directly in front of Mandy with another dramatic sigh. She looked from one to the other as they stared at each other with the same old intensity as they used to. It was rich in lust, love and the unnecessary detachment that they had beheld for the last ten months. Everything that had once constantly been present in their eyes was still there and Miley didn't doubt that it wouldn't always be there. If it could last months of them not being primarily present before each others eyes, then it could last as long as they wanted it to, if not forever. The idea of it made her heart swell and her eyes ache with tears. She longed for that kind of attachment to someone.

"I want you to talk to each other…" she said as she indicated for the camera guy to cut the recording and just let them duke it out if they needed to, "You both have to stop this…"

"He treated me like an idiot Miley…" Mandy said shaking her head trying to back away.

"I _don't _care, Amanda…" she shook her head sternly, "He loves you and he needs to tell you that to your face instead of telling the world via a _youtube video_…" she groaned, "He knows he's been an idiot and he knows that he should stop listening to everyone else and listen to the heart that aches for you, you great…big…idiot…" she said each word slowly, her eyes were closed and she held both of their hands., "Please just talk to each other so I can have my two best friends together in the same room again!"

She stepped off the podium and reluctantly stood with Nick watching what happened.

She was suddenly aware that he had taken a step back as soon as she had stood beside him nervously. He said nothing to her. He just stood there in another of his tailored suits looking more handsome than ever. It annoyed her. She felt her cheeks reddened with what she knew was anger and the still ever present resentment of him being there and looked around at the rest of the carpet as Mandy and Joe stared at each other. She saw Justin stood nearby Selena and Demi, watching on and shrugged her shoulders at him. He winked at her and nodded. She was going to be okay. _He knew it_.

"Why did you listen to your brother?" Mandy asked plainly.

Joe put his hands in his pockets and shrugged, "Because he's my brother, Mandy… he was supposed to be looking out for me and I thought that everything he told me I could trust." He shook his head, "I know now that sometimes family aren't always looking out for what is best for you… but what's best for them…"

Miley's cheeks went a darker shade of red at his words and she found herself looking over at her father who was talking to the reporters and smiling like nothing was wrong. He had his arm wrapped around Justin who was staring at Demi and Selena strangely and instead of talking about his daughter she could hear him talking about how Justin was going to be a huge star some day soon.

She looked back at Joe and felt lucky. Joe hadn't known that Nick was looking out for himself back then. She _did_ know that her father was looking out for himself. He'd as good as told her. He was going to be producing Justin's album if he ever got to make it. He was going to be a record producer and his career that wouldn't be going down the drain again. He didn't care that Miley being caught in a kiss and tell story with Nick Jonas whilst having a boyfriend would ruin all four of them. Nick, Justin and her father were all going to go down the pan with her if a kiss scandal happened. Justin would look like the idiot for going out with a sixteen year-old cheater. Nick would look like a complete ass for kissing a girl with a boyfriend while he had a girlfriend and it was the same with Miley. Her father would be blamed for her actions as he always was. None of them realised that she was just trying to save them all and stop more scandal from ruining them. Look what the amount of scandal had done to them already… she just wanted her Daddy back…

"So… you loved me… but you listened to your brother…" Mandy looked away from him and shook her head, her arms folded around her chest, "What's changed?"

"I know the truth…" Joe stated.

"And what's the truth…?"

"That I think I'll love you until you look me in the eyes and tell me that you love me back…" Joe shrugged.

Mandy breathed in, "And then once I tell you that I love you back you'll leave me alone and won't every bother me again… I'll be Joseph free?"

Joe paused and shook his head with a guilty smile, "No…"

"No?" Mandy let out a laugh, "Then what?"

He smiled and took a daring step forward, "If you said you love me back… I wouldn't be able to just walk away and leave you be…" he leant towards her and whispered so no one could hear, "_I'm not my brother… I'm not an idiot_…" He stood back up straight. Mandy's cheeks were reddening and she was smiling under his intense gaze. Miley's eyes sparkled with proud tears. She always knew he could get her back if he tried hard enough… if she stopped meddling… "If you said you love me back… I'd have to kiss you straight away… and I'd have to make up for every kiss we've missed in the past year… right now… this very minute."

Miley's chest clenched with the tension as Mandy released one of the arms that had been sternly folded around her chest and took hold of the end of Joe's purple tie with her fingers. She smiled as she stared at the floor nervously realising that everyone probably was looking at her.

"Well that's good…" she whispered breathlessly and she sounded nothing like her usual squeaky hyper self. She seemed natural and elegant… and… _in love._

"At least if I told you I loved you back you wouldn't break my heart all over again…"

Joe sighed with closed his eyes and took hold of her hand wrapped around the end of tie with a pain-filled gasp. He was desperate just to hear those few words and he would kill if he didn't, his first target being only feet away. He let his head fall to rest on hers and waited as he almost silently pleaded with her to say them with one simple word… "please".

They were inches apart and his eyes were closed as she looked up to meet the shut eyelids. She smiled a little and knew that now was the time.

"_I love you._"

His eyes opened and he grinned, gathering her up in his arms in seconds and kissing her quickly and passionately on the mouth. He lifted her from the floor as she wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him with as much desperation and need as he did. They smiled between kisses and Miley watched on as they spun on the spot kissing and kissing with no signs of stopping. She felt the tears running down her cheeks and shook her head. _Not again. _She was pathetic.

She looked around as a handkerchief was waved in front of her by a familiar hand. It was purple and Miley was sure that she'd seen enough purple to last her a lifetime tonight. It was silk and she instantly knew who it belonged to the moment she took it into her hands and began to wipe her moist eyes with it. The smell of him on the fabric filled her senses for a moment and she felt every single thought and feeling for him rush back to her for a millisecond until it dissipated. She chastised herself angrily and looked up at him, avoiding those brown eyes as she handed him back the purple silk.

"Thanks…" she mumbled trying to walk away.

However, her heart stopped for a moment when he took her arm gently and tugged her easily towards him amongst the mass crowd of well wishers that had swarmed around them screaming in shock at the new couple in the middle.

"Does this make us okay?" he whispered into her ear and she could feel the electricity crackle in the few inches of space between his lips and her neck. She closed her eyes. She knew that he wasn't talking about the handkerchief. He was talking about him helping Mandy and Joe and telling them the truth.

She looked around at him and she almost collapsed at how deep he looked into her eyes. As she spoke, she'd never been more sure of anything in her life. It didn't matter that he'd helped her friends. She'd helped them too. It didn't mean she was instantly going to start feeling better about herself because of it. Just like she had lots apologies to make, so did he… and he was stupid to think that this one thing could make up for that whole year of pain she'd had.

She shook her head breathless, "No…" she pulled her arm from his grasp, "It doesn't…"

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**A/N: Did that satisfy your Niley needs? Because I'm not too sure about this one. Ummm… I don't know what else to say except the next chapter's called "Kissing a Drunk Girl". Let's have your thought and opinions about what that could be about…**

**Much love homies XD**

**B xo**

**PS. Am I the only one who finds it surreal that they're talking in Bow Wow's youtube video? Suck on that haters. xx  
**


	12. Kissing A Drunk Girl

**A/N: New narrative direction here… new centre of consciousness… and a whole new different storyline dragging in. I hope you guys like it :D :D**

**Reviews make updates :D**

**DISCLAIMER: This is not my opinions... this is purely for the sake of the story :)  
**

**Love xo

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Chapter 12 – Kissing A Drunk Girl **

Selena had been dragged to this stupid party by her best friend. She didn't know why… she could have sworn that they were all meant to be mortal enemies with this bitch. Hadn't she done something that they all hated her for recently? Miley was always doing something that made _her_ look better. _She_ was slowly taking over and before she knew it she would totally be in the queen position while Miley was crying herself to sleep back on the farm in Nashville like the hillbilly that she was. _She_ would have Nick and _she_ would have all her fans and it would be like she had never even existed. _Her_ face would be all over the newsstands while poor Miss Miley's TV show would be one of those shows that people cringed about once they grew up. It was gonna be _amazing_.

But why the heck did _her_ best friend want her to go to _this_ stupid party? When she'd agreed she'd thought it would be for some kinda of ambush on Miley's career or to taunt her and steal all her friends. She hadn't thought that when she'd arrive Demi would be laughing and joking with the new couple Mandy and Joe, while Nick ignored her and that later on Miley and Demi would be alone together going on Big Thunder Mountain a couple of dozen times after becoming what seemed to be best friends. It was exhausting just thinking about the bipolar nature of all these people… was it just her that found it difficult?

_Thank god for the bottle of vodka she'd brought with her… _

"Hey dude can I get a root bear or something…?"

She turned from her space at the bar to look at the young man who was once Miley's boyfriend. She smiled and shook her head. He was yet another victim of the Miley Cyrus Virus.

She watched as he took the diet coke from the waiter and began to drink from it slowly. He sighed and rubbed the corners of his eyes with his fingers as she shook his head.

"Tough night?" she asked, her words slurring a little.

He looked around at her and smiled. He shook his head, "A little hard going…" he nodded, "But that's about it…"

She smiled and looked to see if the waiter was still at the other end of the bar serving a group of Miley's friends. With a smile and a very innovative thought, she stood up from the stool she carefully sat and stumbled closer to the one next to the ex-boyfriend of her enemy. He helped her as she struggled to get onto the stool with her own glass of "coke" and her four inch heels and she smiled to him almost collapsing onto the bar.

"Would you like some vodka?" she asked showing him the bottle.

He smiled and at that moment the thought of having to deal with a drunk girl seemed easier than having to deal with looking like the idiot who failed to keep a hold of Miley at twenty seemed easier. The fact that both things would be easier while possessing a blood stream filled with alcohol seemed even easier to his simple mind. It could make things better if he was careful about it.

He nodded and she inconspicuously poured him a generous glug of the liquid into the half empty coke glass he'd been drinking from.

"Cheers…" she said holding up her glass.

He smiled and hit his glass against hers.

"Cheers"

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"I don't know why I'm here…" she mumbled, "Ya know…? I was dragged here by my best friend so we could hang out and ride the rides together… but she's walked off with her other friends… ya know?"

He nodded. They were both drunk and occupying one of the small backstage rooms that had been set up for the stars when they needed a break from the fans that were running around Disneyland trying to find them. The room was at the edge of the park and no other star had been in the room in the two hours they had sat there, missing Miley's performance and laughing about how stupid they were for thinking they were meant to be part of this escapade. They didn't fit it.

"Miley asked me to come… I was meant to be going on stage or something…" he slurred, "But I don't care… I don't need to be seen doing my thing to become famous… Billy Ray's got that covered for me… he's been telling people all about how I'm gonna be great… I don't even think he's heard me sing my best yet?"

"Do you have a best compared to what you sing like now?" she asked. Her legs were swung over his lap, her dress rose up her thigh and his hand rested on her bare skin as they drunk the rest of the alcohol, slowly reaching the bottom already so far past sobriety that it was doubtful that they would find it again… at least not for the next few days…

Justin snorted, "No…"

She cackled with laughter and he soon followed her, "Is that the only reason you were with Miley?"

He laughed and shook his head, "Kinda… not really… she was sometimes really good company and she had loads of really hot friends…" he smiled and moved closer to her, "Kinda like you…"

Selena smiled and mirrored his move closer to her until their noses were touching.

"Sometimes I wish I could just run away and be done with all this stuff for a couple of days…"

"Where would you run?" he asked his hand caressing her sides absent-mindedly.

"Tijuana…" she smiled with a laugh.

Justin smiled and rubbed his nose against her, "We should run away together…" her hand was gripping his arm as she dropped her glass onto the floor, "Make a weekend of it… have as much fun as this…"

Selena smiled, "Really?"

"Yeah…" he nodded, his eyes beginning to falter him, "Totally…"

"Promise…?"

His hand curled around her neck and began to pull her to him, "Promise."

As the alcohol cursed through their veins, incapacitating their senses and making them act like they had never acted before, there was only one thing left for them to do and that was for them to seal their promise and their stupidity with a kiss.

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**A/N: To be continued…**

**:D**

**Was it what you thought it was going to be?**

**B xo**


	13. All Hail The Heartbreaker

**A/N: This chapter is dedicated to Victoria one hundred percent. This is her dream, her idea that I just wrote down and made seem totally bad ass. I love you, Bud. **

**I've got nothing to say about this chapter other than I think it's the best piece of argumentative writing I've ever written lol… even I sometimes say "ouch". **

**Please, please, please whoever you are review this to tell me what you thought of this… I beg of you :D**

**Much love,**

**xo**

**Chapter 13 – All Hail the Heartbreaker**

"Dude…"Miley said as the three of them sat on the leather couch backstage with Miley's stylist handing her the rest of her outfit ready for the finale of her party, "you had an the entire concert hall at Foxwoods crying because of how romantic you were! How can you say that woman don't take you seriously!?"

Joe laughed, "Because it took me a week to get the one girl I wanted to take me seriously to take me seriously!"

Mandy giggled and snuggled into him closer than she had been if it was even possible for her to even closer to the boy. He didn't seem to mind, and neither did she when he would occasionally press gentle kisses to her eyelids to reassure himself that she was actually there.

"You don't make any sense, Boy…" Miley shook her head as she saw David her hair stylist heading for her with her tiara in his hands. She smiled and clapped her hands together joyfully. She'd been waiting to wear her tiara since they had bought it months ago. She'd had to endure the occasional parade around her room with it on when no one was home while she was waiting for the actual day. It had been torture and she was so glad she could act like a princess for a little longer.

"You have to get dressed first," David said placing it with her clothes, "I'm not going to put it on just so you can mess it up when they're helping you put your dress on."

She gawped at him ready to protest but he simply walked from the room. She stared at the place he exited and shook her head. She looked down at herself, dressed in her t-shirt and her jeans after coming off stage and dropped down onto the armchair opposite Joe and Mandy. They'd told her she'd have to wait to get changed before the fireworks and end of the party and she'd been too cold to stay in her tiny little skirt she'd performed in. She needed proper clothes and her jeans and t-shirt were all she had. They'd been a lifesaver. She could now feel her extremities and function well enough to walk. How the heck she'd performed feeling that cold she was clueless to. It had been freezing with the breeze coming off the river.

"Is Miley in there?"

Her entire body froze at the voice and she looked around from where she sat, followed by Joe and Mandy whose eyes were wide with shock. He didn't have the nerve to come in here… there was no way…

"Miley…" said Jason her manager coming into the room, "Nick Jonas is at the door and says he wants to speak with you…" she stared at him confused and wordless, "Shall I send him in?"

She looked around at Mandy and shrugged her shoulders, "Sure?"

He left and moments later, his tall middle-aged form was replaced by the young man that she looked at everyday on the news and magazine. He looked nervous, and totally unlike the boy that she'd been faced with weeks ago in her dressing room at the concert for hope. He'd been angry and sure of himself back then… but now he was uncomfortable and out of his comfort zone. He had nothing to complain about. He'd got everything he wanted. She was boyfriend-less, Joe was happy and was probably already starting to like his brother again. He had broken up with Selena because he wanted too… he was still the most sort after boyfriend in the teenage world and everyone was still in love with him.

What could he possibly want with her now? She'd said her piece earlier. He had a lot to do to make everything okay with her. He wasn't _that_ stupid. He could understand that telling the truth wouldn't make her like him again… the truth was expected of him, just as it was expected with every good human being on the planet.

"What is it?" she said nonchalantly folding her arms and standing to look at him.

His posture was awkward and an idiot could tell that he was uncomfortable being there. It could be read by how his eyes darted nervously around the room.

"Can I talk to you?" he mumbled his hands finding his pockets.

"Yes."

He sighed and looked at her, begging for some kind of help in the most awkward conversation of all history, "In private?"

She rose an eyebrow and let out a laugh, "If you have something to say to me you can say to my best friends… I'll just tell them anyway…" She smiled and looked at him with malice, "Plus… after the last time you talked to me alone… I want a witness to anything you may admit to… like… your hellish plans to bring around the demise of my career…"

He looked at her and shook his head. She could tell he was desperate for this one thing to happen. He looked like this one conversation that he wanted with her would be the end of his life if he didn't have it. That pure thought was what forced her to string him along, making him beg to her all of these things that he wanted. He'd never asked her what she wanted. He'd never cared about what she wanted for a very long time… why should she worry about what he wanted… what he longed for? It didn't seem right.

"Please… Miley just hear me out…" he mumbled breathlessly, "If you listen to me and you still want me gone afterwards… I promise I'll go and I won't talk to you until you give me some sign that you want to actually talk to me… I promise you… that may not mean anything… but I can assure you that I mean it… I'll be gone before you can blink…"

She sighed and her guilt crept up on her. She looked over at Mandy and nodded reluctantly, biting her bottom lip and closing her eyes with all the annoyance that she had within her. She opened her eyes, only to find Mandy looking at her worried and scared. She nodded again. She could handle it. She had a very fast knee and she knew where his testicles were… that's it he had any.

"We'll be outside…" she said grabbing Joe's hand. He looked around at Miley and gave her a wink, "If you need me for anything…" he said looking at Nick, "Holler… okay?"

She nodded and soon they were left alone in the small, claustrophobic room that was in no way big enough for the emotions that they both had. Miley felt like she would suffocate it provoked by any kind of emotion.

She watched in confusion when instead of talking, he walked around the room for a few minutes, gathering himself together and mumbling soundlessly words that she could not understand. He soon stopped in front of her where she stood be the window. He looked at her and she ached at little because he looked hurt. She chastised herself again and closed her eyes shaking her head at him in annoyance.

He looked at her and stepped forward. She was confused… more confused than she had ever been in her life. She shook her head and looked down at the floor. He would never change. He would always be the most confusing person she had ever met in her life and he would always be subconsciously be hurting her with the things he did and didn't do. She was always going to remember him as the boy that screwed with her head as a teenager. He was the boy, the first love… who taught her that all important lesson that men are not to be taken seriously as they will always mess you up. The only man a girl can trust is her daddy… and even they sometimes got things wrong. What the heck was Miley meant to do?

"Are you going talk or are you just going stand there?"

Her body froze when he moved forward and pressed his lips gently to hers just like that first kiss they had shared all those years ago when they'd only just met. It was quick and it was gently as she had no time to react as he pulled away and looked at her with desperate eyes. She stood for what seemed like minutes in the exact same position that she'd been in when he'd pulled away. Her eyes had fallen closed even in the short duration of his press to her lips and she hated herself because of it. Her lips were pouted and pink and her arms were folded across her chest as she tried to comprehend what he had done.

When she did… she felt the anger begin to bubble within her…aimed at the both of them.

"_Why _did you just do that?"

"Because I'm in love with you." He said quickly and breathlessly, shocking the both of them.

She looked at him with malice and he was adamant for one split moment that she was going to kill him. Her eyes clouded over with darkness and her jaw set. Her hands curled into fists and she flexed the muscles not knowing what to do with them. He instantly regretted being so forward. He should have explained…

"I know that it's big-headed of me to think that you'll want to hear that…" he stuttered on, "I know I've done everything wrong that a person could ever possibly do… and I _know _that I've ruined your life…" he held a hand out to her, "But I want to make everything right again… I want you… I… love… you… I tried as hard as I can to not love you…" he shook his head… "but I can't… I can't stop loving you, Miley…"

_SLAP! _

Her hand landed hard on his cheeks, the sound echoing around the room mixed with the harshness of her breathing as the anger rose from her like a volcano. The stinging in his cheek was close to matching the one that was in her hand as she shook her head at him. Her eyes wide and manic, her fist clenched at her sides threateningly.

"_Don't you dare say those words to me!_" she spat in disgust, "How dare you…" she stepped backwards, "Don't you _dare _say those words to me… you… you…"

He held his cheek in his hand, "Why?"

She let out a full blown disbelieving belly laugh in his face in that one simple word… She couldn't believe how stupid he was being. Was he an idiot? She was sure he had been smarter than this at one point in his life. It was like he'd been hit around the head or given a lobotomy or something. How could he ask something so stupid?

"Why?" she laughed, "You want to know _why_ you can't say that?" she shook her head, "How could you even ask me question you pathetic child! You treat me like _shit _for this long and expect me to drop every little thought, every splash of emotion I have felt towards you for the past eleven months and just… just…forget you hurt me more than any person I have _ever _met in my entire life?!" she shook her head as emotion began to well in her, "Are you an _idiot?_ You made me feel like I ruined _everything!"_ Great… She needed to cry. She wanted to cry. This _so _wasn't the time for her to be crying. "I destroyed my life by letting you consume it, do you realise that?" he was stepping away from her, his hand still clutched to his red cheek by the word, "I turned my life into a complete sham by trying to impress you and your pig-headed asshole nature! I made myself look like an idiot trying to win you back, you shit!" tears were rolling down her cheeks, but the anger could not be missed. She wanted to kill him. She did… she wanted him dead in front of her or at least badly hurt, just so he could understand how the hell it had felt like to be her for the past eleven months, "I went over every word of that last conversation in my head hour after hour, _day after day_ trying to make sense of why you would even treat me like that!" his unharmed cheek was slowly reddening to match the one she'd hit, "I spent months reading into every picture, every word… every song lyric! Everything!" she took a deep breath from her screaming and shook her head at him, "I was determined to prove them all wrong because they told me that you were just another boy." She was ashamed at herself. She looked away and shuffled backwards from him, "They were right, so stupidly goddamn right! You're just like the rest of them, ready to use me and drop me before anything else!"

She paused for a second and took a daring step towards him, ready to slap him again if she needed to. She pointed to one finger to him warningly and with her other hand she wiped away the tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Have you ever thought in that shallow-minded head of yours that when I lost you…" she began before the need to pause consumed her, emotion beginning to take over completely, "when you _broke my heart_… I didn't just lose my first love and my boyfriend…" she paused breathless, "I lost my _best friend_ too!?" The words broke in her throat and from then on she became more hysterical… more angry… more consumed in telling him everything she had longed to tell him since they had stood and battled each other with words in the rain, "I told you _everything! _I gave you my EVERYTHING!" She took another step forward and the words rained down in sobs, in aches of her heart and the remembrance of everything he had done to her, "You made me forget that the world even existed! That's why it hurt so much when you _dumped_ me… because you made me think that there was a future for us!" she clutched at her stomach and her chest as yet again that physical ache she'd numbed away with stupidity and foolishness began to return to her in a vengeful and unkind hit, "It felt like there had been something ripped from inside me." She lurched with a sob and looked up at him shamefully, struggling to live, "I was lost Nick and I slowly began to lose everything as the minutes went on. I lost you; I lost my friends, my fans… my family. And it was all because of you."

She gasped and shook her head, "I hate you Nick. I _hate _you…" she smiled inwardly as his face dropped and the colour drained from his face, "and I blame _you _for everything that has happened to me this past year."

She stood up and it seemed that she was still in pain. She dealt with it. This needed to be said. She needed him to know that she didn't need him or want him anymore. He was no longer part of her life. She couldn't handle him being part of her life anymore… him being part of her life made her hurt too much.

He tried to speak but she stopped him.

"But don't worry about me, okay? I have found myself again and I don't need you." She nodded and he looked like he was about to cry, "You are just a guy… a guy who used me and broke my heart." The reminder sparked something in her and she shook her head at him, wiping her eyes and shrugging her shoulders, "Plus, I wouldn't want to go messing your life up now, would I?" she sighed, "I don't want to end up as pathetic as you."

Now it was time for her big finish, her time to say the simple words that she had longed to say for months. They were the words she'd dreamed about… that she'd inform him of, just to show him and the world how much he'd messed up her life… how much life didn't need to make sense anymore. She didn't need to make sense. That was what she'd learned from him. She didn't have to make sense. She just had to survive… she had to live… not just exist as his girlfriend.

She forced away tears and she pointed at him, her nose running and her anger fading as she felt the coming of the words she was about to speak. He looked at her softer than he had ever done. He looked broken and she didn't care… imagine what she'd felt like back then. At least now he got an idea…

"So if you want to know why you can't kiss me and tell me you love me…" her voice shook gently and tears rolled down her cheeks, her head quivered from side to side, "I'll tell you "why"…"

As she spoke, her voice broke and she felt everything overcome her for a second.

"Fuck you… _that's why."_

He stared at her. He was broken. His lips moved, trying to speak and she decided that she wouldn't stay if he asked her for an encore. She'd said everything she wanted to say. If he had a reply, she didn't want to hear it… she just wanted to have her say. He'd had his a long time ago in the form of his stupid actions that he had failed to regret.

"_I'm sorry…_" he whispered to her. He didn't know what else to say. He was numb.

Those words, as she fought against herself, threatened to break down her barriers to him. They awoke something inside of her and she fought hard with tears not to let it succeed.

She took a deep breath in and shook her head, "That's not good enough anymore…"

With that… she turned and walked from the room with no intention of returning, no second thoughts and no guilt. She was past being guilty. She was just being truthful.

Nick stood there and shook his head as he looked down at the space she had left. He was a failure.

His eyes brightened as he heard footsteps returning to him. Maybe she'd changed her mind… maybe it was like at Foxwoods when she would open the door to him and let him kiss her thinking that he was trying to tell her how he felt. He had been… but in the wrong way… all he wanted was a second chance and back then he'd blown it by being an ass.

His heart rose in his throat and sunk to his stomach as Joe entered the room looking angrier than ever. Miley and Mandy were his two best girls. He would kick ass for them any day. He'd proved that and Nick prepared himself for another punch. He could handle it… he needed it… he had to feel something more than this, right?

He was disappointed however when his brother bent forward to bow before him and looked up at him with dark eyes and anger filled actions. He shot him a devilish smile and sighed disgusted, ashamed and bored.

"All hail the heartbreaker…"

And as he watched the words leave his brothers mouth and flitter around the room, he felt something in his chest ache with excruciating pain and longing...

**A/N: Hmm… you're probably all wondering what happened aren't you? Well you'll partially find out in the next chapter, but I need feedback first because I haven't written it. I've also nearly written a chapter of "Fifteen For A Moment" but that won't be uploaded for a couple of days, maybe tomorrow if I get enough feedback from this one. **

**Love B xo**

**PS. I found out that my mother's getting married in the summer and that might occupy some of my time helping her organise everything… so… XD**

**PPS. I need to know if people want me to reupload "It's My Party"? I'm willing to do it, its just it will take a lot of time and I don't know how many people want it… so let me know ;)**


	14. Memory

**A/N: I'm back… and I'm ready to write chapters… I think I'm gonna be on mega uploading of everything for the rest of this week. I'm going to attempt to get at least three chapters of each of my existing stories uploaded before Tuesday hits ;). I'll probably try and reupload It's my party after that… it's just it's a lot more work lol. **

**I hope you guys like this chapter… I'm not so sure about it… **

**Love **

**xo

* * *

Chapter 14 – Memory: December 27****th****, 2007**

As he sat in his bedroom, his closet poured out onto his blue carpet, all he could remember as he looked down at the items before him was that one day that had put everything that had stemmed from it into motion.

It was one of those days that stuck out in his mind that changed his life into something that he hadn't meant it to, and not for good reasons either. It wasn't one of those good memorable days that were just a haze of happiness and excitement that he wished he could have over and over again as clear as glass. No, the only memories he had that were as clear as they could ever be were the ones that flashed in his mind as he held each and every little thing he'd kept over those painful torturous months that he had been without her.

That one image, that one clear memory had been the downfall to the most loving and wonderful relationship of his life.

That relationship had been happy whenever he tried to remember it. He had few bad memories, his head was simply filled with the ones of kisses and laughter and jokes played on Joe in the morning. He had memories of sleepovers on Friday nights when she came home from filming and games of hide and go seek with Frankie and Noah, where instead of actually going to find them they would just hold each other in her bunk bed and nothing else… just hold each other and remember each other was still there. He could remember every single movie night eating chips from a huge bowl and fighting over the salsa. He could still smell the sugar of the ice cream he would gladly sit and watch her eat everyday. He could only remember the taste of her, and the cookies she would regularly bake with his mother… thought-filled and fine for him to eat. Her heart had made those cookies, all because she'd wanted him to have everything that she's had.

He didn't have a place in that heart anymore.

His hand slipped between the leaves of paper and the card. Each was filled with word upon word of ill-spent messages of happiness and love, both typed and hand-written. He felt the gloss of the photo paper as it skimmed over his fingertips and could remember each and every photo that was in there, shining up at him still, not even slightly perished and still as beautiful as the day that it was taken. His hands ran over the water marks and creases of the literature of her life, the controversy that the glossy pages showed and the nakedness he had never had the honour to touch. He should have told her how beautiful that one image was when he had the chance. His hands skipped from one magazine to the other and his fingers ran over the new smile that she had put in place of the old one. The thing that scared him was that the new smile, with each day, was becoming better than the old one… it was becoming more happy, more normal and more mesmerizing. Her words of truth; her admittance after all that time that she had been stupid enough to fall for him had made everything worse. He had let the failure to produce his own truth turn him into a disastrous ball of fury and anger… all aimed towards her. It had been his biggest mistake. He could remember spending each night listening to those CDs he had bought. He could remember the failure to let tears fall as he heard every single tiny little detail of _them_ as they had been nicely 'disguised' within her music. He lifted the bundle of discs with a sigh as he placed them carefully with the neighbours they had shared for so many months.

He took the purple handkerchief from his pocket and ran his fingers over the dried-up, black mascara stained tears she had left behind. He took it to his nose and let it fill him with happiness as he was reminded of her for a simple second that he would have never otherwise experienced. His nimble, shaking fingers laid it before him on his bed and he folded each corner until it was perfect. He smelt it one more time and put it inside the box.

He sighed when he felt it. He winced as all the memories flashed in his deep dark brown eyes and he saw every moment after that in the dark and painful loneliness he hadn't expected to consume him. His fingertips wormed their way into the elastic string that possessed them and pushed them slowly up his hands until they were encircling his palm and digging into the soft flesh. He ran his fingers over the wooden painted beads he had once made fun of and shook his head.

* * *

"_Guess who?" _

_Her giggle was all that he heard, and still after two years it made his heart jump slightly in his chest. Sure, it didn't jump as high as it used to and it wasn't as recognisable, but she still made his chest flutter and a brought a smile to his lips. _

_She'd adapted to the habit of sneaking up on him after they had finished their shows. It had scared the crap of him the first time, but slowly but surely it had become a routine. He acted normal while she smiled and got his attention. It was simple, but it was who they had become, more than those stupid photos of them together people talked about. Their relationship had been evolving for two years into what it had become… but it wasn't as exciting as it used to be anymore… it didn't fulfil him. _

_He smiled and titled his head back as her hands still lay across his eyes gently. Her stomach was pressed to the back of his head as she tugged him in to lean against her. He grabbed the hands and stroked his fingertips over the always soft and gentle skin. It had never changed. _

_"Hey Miles…" he breathed and he began to tug her fingers into his hands, entwining their fingers together comfortably. She smiled as she looked down at him and he tilted his chin up in habit waiting for her to reciprocate. Like clockwork, she followed his actions and swooped down on him to kiss him gently and naively on the lips, lingering for a moment. He felt her wrap her arms around him and the force on his lips become greater, "Stop Miley…" he said as he pulled away, "Not now…"_

_His heart clenched as he saw her hurt face and he moved to her to kiss her on the cheek quickly. _

_"What's wrong?" she asked him and he realised at that moment that he hadn't been looking at her for sometime. She had become a part of his life that he was used to. She was always there, they were always thrown together in someway or another. He just seemed to forget to think about her like he once used to… she used to consume him, he used to live for her and she used to make him feel like he was on the top of the world. That novelty had worn off and he was now left with the empty shell of a first love he currently had. He just wanted some kind of excitement… he wanted some feeling that he used to have… because all that he had once had, apart from the nervous fluttering in his chest, had dissipated with the days of their tour. _

_"Nothing's wrong…" he smiled and kissed her cheek again, giving her a hug as he began to walk across the room and put away his things, "It's just the doors open and our parents could walk in…" _

_She advanced on him, standing behind him and he could feel her bright blue eyes boring into his stiff back, "You seem unhappy…" she stated it plainly and their was no hint of hurt in her voice, only curiosity, "We just played one of our biggest shows and did you see how amazing it was out there?" he said nothing, "Why don't you come and join everyone else in the green room… they bought cupcakes and stuff for us to eat… there's left over eggnog and –"_

_"I've got to pack my stuff together for New York," his smile was as perfect as he could make it and he avoided her eyes and her disappointment as he gazed at her, "You go ahead…"_

_As he moved around his dressing room, she refused to take no for an answer. She stood in the doorway, still wearing her pink shirt, her pink plaid skirt, her jacket with her name covering the back, her knee high socks and finishing with her favourite chucks placed undone on her feet. Her curls that had once been springy and fresh were dank now and they hung around her shoulders loosely as some swayed in her face from the breeze through Nick's open window. _

_"There's something on your mind…" she stated plainly and he struggled with an attempt at laughter until he gave up ungracefully avoiding her eyes. _

_He looked around at her, his packing complete and nothing else to occupy his mind, "It's nothing…" _

_She shook her head at him and he noticed her nervously begin playing with the wooden beaded bracelet around her wrist. Each bead was painted a different colour and he couldn't help but stare at her hands as they carefully played with it, seeking solace from the simple act. He tried not to smile and she looked down at her wrist guiltily shaking the habit out until her hands were clinging to each other, seeking comfort. _

_"What's wrong?" _

_"Nothing." _

_She shook her head with a smile, and it was that smile, the one that she gave to him when his first lie left his mouth that he had remembered since. It was a smile filled with desperation and fear. She loved him and she probably always would. She'd told him… many… _many _times and he had listened each and every time. But recently he had found his concentration slipping and the desperation and annoyance in her voice increasing. He had blocked out their arguments of him ignoring half of what she had said or simply ignoring her completely. He had slowly lost his drive for the tour and for her and for music and they had both noticed._

_She shrugged her shoulders, "There's got to be something wrong because you've been like this for weeks… I'm starting to think that you don't want to be with me anymore…" _

_He was hesitantly silent and he stared at her questioningly for a moment. Had she just mentioned that or had he? He couldn't tell because it felt like his mind didn't even work anymore. _

_"Of course not…" he said quickly._

_She noticed the hesitation and her face fell for a moment. In her head, she was probably thinking of a million things she could do to make the end of this conversation work out well for her, and make it seem like everything had been her idea. Nick knew her. He always had since the moment he'd met her and he always would. She thought fast and with daggers when she needed them. She was quick witted and her brain worked faster than anyone else he knew of their age. She was smart and it was one of the reasons he loved her. She always knew what she was doing._

_"Do you not wanna be with me anymore?" she asked quickly, snappily and a little scarily to the point that Nick felt himself roll backwards on the heel of his foot away from her, "Because it's fine with me if you don't…"_

_He rolled his eyes at her and she shook her head. She knew that he knew her. He could read her, while she struggled to read him. He, of course, was much more difficult._

_Her hands began to drift down to her wrists again and she tugged the beaded bracelet from her arm and began to tug on each of the beads, pushing them along the elastic string in annoyance and nerves. She was scared. _

_He however, ignored it this time. _

_"Of course I want to be with you… I love you…" he stepped forward and kissed her lingeringly on the cheek for another moment, before pulling away, "I just… I have so much on my mind with you and the tour… and writing the new album and our own tour… and the movie and everything else… I don't have anytime to sit down and think for a minute about what I'm doing…" he smiled sweetly, "I just need a little time to clear my head…"_

_She looked at him and he saw that same care she always possessed when it seemed someone she loved was in trouble or in pain. Her eyes softened and hardened simultaneously and the emotions rippled across them slowly with each rush. Her skin paled and she breathed gently and surely. _

_"Then maybe we should take a break…" she whispered simultaneously seeming sure and unsure. _

_He looked at her nervously, "What?"_

_She nodded, "Let's take a break…"_

_He laughed, "Why would we do that… we're not Ross and Rachel…"_

_She smiled and shrugged her shoulders, "Because it'll help." She nodded and the bracelet was in her fingers as something more interesting to concentrate on, "We'll go on a break… we'll put everything on hold until I've finished the tour in two weeks and then I'll come back to LA and we'll talk about everything and see where we go from their…we'll still be together… we'll just be on hold." She looked down at the bracelet in her hands and jumped spontaneously into the air, "Here… you can wear this to remind you of me…" _

_He looked down to the beads she held out to him and shook his head, "I don't need some beads to remind me that I love you…" he took her hand and drew her closer to him, "I know that I love you…" _

And it wasn't a lie. He did love her. He was sure of it…

_She smiled and wrapped her spare arm around his waist still attempting to hand him the beads, "It's more to remind other people…" she admitted and he smiled uncomfortably. She blushed and shook her head looking down at the floor, "I just don't want you to forget me… or to forget that __**I**__ love __**you**__." _

_He ventured a weak smile and took the beads, "I'll take this, but only because I can tell it means a lot to you…" he placed the beads around his wrist and smiled at his own little piece of sighed as she looked at him, "I feel like I should give you something…" _

_She shook her head, "There's no need…" _

_"No…" he shook his head cutting through her words and looked around the room for something meaningful, something that would make her know how he was sure he actually felt. This was going to be good for them. She was sure. He had to have the same enthusiasm. She was smarter than him. She had the better ideas… the better mind. He simply had to follow her thoughts and how she worked things out calmly and rationally. _

_His eyes caught sight of the silver chain and he picked it up and looked at it. It was about time he bought a new one. As he grew, the tag seemed to shrink against his increasing form to become unrecognisable. He could get another just as easily. This mattered more. She tried to stop him as he slipped the silver chain over his neck and arranged it carefully so no one could see his name engraved on the back. If anyone saw, he'd have all kinds of hell to pay from his parents. _

_"There…" he smiled and kissed her forehead, "Now you'll always remember that I love you…"_

_She smiled up at him and shook her head, "It's only two weeks…" she nuzzled herself into his chest and shook her head adamantly, "Stop talking like its forever…" _

_He smiled at her and narrowed his eyes as her big sparkly blues looked into his dark brown pits of confusion. She glared at him and it was almost like she knew something that he didn't know… like she had the answers to every question he had ever wanted to know the answer to. It scared him and he broke their gaze by bending down to kiss her. _

_And it was at that moment when his lips messily collided with hers in anger, lust, confusion and refusal, that in his head he had wanted that kiss to be their last. His head told him that this was all too much, that she was too much and he was going to lie to her again. He knew that he was going to hurt her. He was going to change his mind.

* * *

_He pressed the beads to his nose and tasted them against his lips. They oozed her scent as it mingled in the wood of each bead. He sighed and his eyes filled with tears and he shook his head.

"_I'm so stupid…" _he whispered to himself as his voice caught in his throat.

And he was right… he was stupid. He was an idiot and only a miracle could win her back. Only going to the ends of the earth, fighting with fire in his belly and thinking twenty steps ahead could he ever, _ever_ try and get her back. He had broken her heart. It was in two pieces and she waiting to give one away or for it to be put back together. Breaking her heart was the biggest mistake he had ever made in his life and he regretted it with every inch of his soul. She was what he needed. She was the only amazing thing he had ever wanted and the only thing he could no longer have. He would regret and hate himself for the way he treated her for the rest of his life if he didn't ever get her back. When his life was over and he was seeking forgiveness for his sins, he knew that it was hurting her that he would only ever remember. It would be his only sin.

He placed the beads around his wrist and he felt them around his skin for the first time since that last day last January when they had said all that they needed to say, and placed the lid back onto the box sat before him. He stood up, lifting its heavy contents, the entirety of a relationship and groaned in pain. He relished the momentary ache and slowly moved across his bedroom to make way to his closet, hitting the button to his radio on the way, only for his mind to be electrified by the sounds that filled his ears, mid song, but at the most vital and important part of a song that had impacted his life in all the wrong and right ways...

He laughed as the realisation hit him… how could he have not thought of this before… months ago…

_The seven things I hate about you  
Oh, you  
You're vain, your games, you're insecure  
You love me, you like her  
You make me laugh, you make me cry  
I don't know which side to buy  
Your friends, they're jerks  
When you act like them  
Just know it hurts  
I wanna be with the one I know  
And the seventh thing  
I hate the most that you do  
You make me love you_

He nodded as he closed the door to the closet and leant his head against the frame with a smile that any woman would fall for in an instant and shook his head.

He knew what he had to do… and there was plenty.

* * *

**A/N: The next chapter of this story is called "London Calling/Stolen" – this is probably because it's in two parts and one of these parts is very OOC at the moment for someone. Some people might not like it… lol… **

**There's also a lot of drama coming… **

"**Helloooo Drama…" **

**I've officially decided my favourite HM quote of all time is "Sweet niblets… I got me a date with a sweet niblet…" **

**Cracks me up every time. **

**Anywho… Feedback? Likes? Dislikes? **

**Love B xo**

**PS. I know that my proofing was crappy… forgive me :D**


	15. London Calling aka Stolen

**A/N: So here's chapter 15 and I hope you guys like it. This stories kinda getting into a swing now. **

**In case anyone wanted to know… It's My Party chapter 1 has been uploaded. **

**In this chapter, Miley, Mandy and some other's visit London and some very… shocking things happen. I just hope that no one hates Miley after this chapter or thinks she's an idiot for doing what she's doing… or you know… thinking she's a bitch. **

**Be Warned: Justin alert.

* * *

**

**xo**

**Chapter 15 – London Calling /Stolen**

"London calling to the faraway towns… Now that war is declared and battle come _dooooown_… London calling to the underworld… Come out of the cupboard, all you boys and girls!!!"

Miley sighed and shook her head as Mandy continued with her interpretive punk dance moves. Her iPod earphones were plugged into her ears and she'd repeatedly had the same song playing since they had arrived at LAX. Their second trip to Europe together and she was already so hyper about everything, so excited that Miley didn't even know how she hadn't burnt out yet. It was their first trip together in months… it seemed like forever since they had worked together and acted like idiots in hotel rooms. Miley had spent all of her time filming the movie, or jetting around the country attempting to market her record. She'd spent all her time with people that weren't good for her and the rest of the time missing the one person she wished she'd just forget.

Miley smiled and shook her head again, rolling her perfectly blue eyes, "Is that the only song you know?"

Her best friend and her saviour skidded to a halt in front of the hotel door next to her and looking around with a grin, "It's the only song that's relevant…"

Miley nodded in agreement, "Yeah… true… I just don't think you need to sing it for the entire five and a half thousand miles that we ventured here…"

Miley nudged the door with her hip and bounded into the hotel room with a grunt and a stumble forwards that she saved herself from. She smiled as Mandy ran into the room, looking around for a second before instantly checking out the bathroom. It was her ritual. Every hotel room that they had ever been to had endured the same fate that this one had. She would check out the bathroom carefully, before deciding whether or not it was okay for her to stay in. Her bed however, was something of no importance. She'd sleep in a cardboard box if she had to.

She put down their bags and tried not to laugh at the sounds of the Clash coming from within the bathroom. She insisted on singing that stupid song, and probably would continue to until they landed in Paris and Berlin a few days after She dreaded to think of what songs her best friend could possibly have discovered for those other countries… she _dreaded_ it.

Her eyes caught sight of the bed and it looked so large, warm and comforting away from the weather of this country she had instantly become unaccustomed to. It was cold and rainy in London. The UK was no where near like LA. It was windy. People drank tea instead of iced flavoured coffees covered in whipped cream. They called fries "Chips". They weren't all nice and they weren't all in her face. They left her alone and she could walk down a street without someone jumping at her with a camera. They were civilised more than she would have ever expected. She kinda loved the quaintness of it all…

She sighed and looked down at the bed. It was tall and reached to her stomach in height. Dark red sheets, thick comfy pillows that smelt fresh and clean, unlike she did from the long flight, were placed carefully upon it… accompanied strangely by a perfectly off-white rose with a white tag tied around it's stem. She narrowed her gaze to it confused and tentatively reached forward to take the perfect thing into her tiny hands to inspect it.

She lifted it to her nose and smelt that same old wonderful smell she could imagine and remember from so many times that it had been held beneath her senses lapping it up in all its glory. She felt the silkiness of the ivory petals against her nose and how they felt so familiar and perfect against her skin. She sighed and reluctantly pulled it away from her face to look down at the tag. As she read the words, a smile spread across her face and a feeling of excitement and fear overwhelmed her bubbling in her stomach. She read the words again, and still the same confusion remained no matter how many times she had run her eyes over them. She was still as clueless as the first time:

"_Here's my First step x" _

_

* * *

_

They screamed. They screamed for her. Five and a half thousand miles and they were screaming because she was on the stage in front of them in a whole other country, a whole other continent… a whole other lifestyle of which she was not used to, but they still screamed for her and her music.

As she listened to them, stood on that stage she'd been on once before only years a months younger and with a lot less resting on her shoulders, she was reminded of another time when she played her first real show with her songs that had her own emotions flooded into it. St Louis, Missouri… October 16th, 2007 had been the day. The most exciting and _enthralling_ day of her life had started off just like any other… but by the time it had ended at midnight her life had been changed forever. They had screamed for her and her music. They actually liked _her. _It wasn't her character. Her dreams had come true.

To say things had blown up from there would be an understatement.

Her arrival at the venue in London hadn't been exactly the best. Her weekend that was supposed to have been about her and Mandy had instantly turned into Miley becoming the third wheel she feared she would become when her two best friends got together. Joe had arrived outside their hotel room shortly after they'd settled in with a bouquet of Mandy's favourite flowers and an invitation to join them all for dinner in the hotel restaurant later that night. Miley had scowled as he had mentioned how it would be his family and hers dining together again after all those months – all of his family. _He_ was there and _he_ was feeling sorry for himself. It would be uncomfortable. She hadn't expected to see him this soon after her birthday party, but apparently there had been some deceiving going on by some higher and smarter power. Someone had failed to inform Miley that Nick and his brothers were performing at the show too. But her incapability to be rude and turn down a kind invitation to dinner with a family (give or take a couple of members) that she loved had forced her to accept their invitation and share a meal with them.

The discomfort had been hard. He had stared at her for most of the duration of the dinner and she had failed to make any coherent sentence the entire evening, her words failing her as angered mumbles. She soon discovered the anger subsided when she did the only thing she could to avoid the truth of what was happening around her, and pretend that Nick didn't even exist in her world. It was simply like his place at the table was empty. He was not there in _her_ mind.

But the next day as she stood on that stage, Miley smiled and breathed out another shocked breath as she looked over at her crowd, still bouncing from her previous song… still screaming and still wanting more. She smiled as her last song started… her first hit… the one song that people all over the world apparently were familiar with. When she'd wrote it, it had been nothing but a silly little song she'd managed to come up using the name of her best friend. Now here she was singing it to five thousand people in a country she was not from that seemed to be going crazy for it. Five thousand bodies all aged fourteen to eighteen, all jumping up and down in unison to her words, the ones she'd thought would mean nothing. Now they meant everything… She'd achieved another one of her dreams.

Tears grew in her eyes and sweat dripped down her cheeks. This wasn't any normal day. She'd thought it would be just like any other show, but it wasn't. It was so much like her first show that it was unreal. It made her forget that everything in the past year had happened. For a moment she had everything she had ever wanted and no one wanted to call her names and hate her, her father loved her and told her everyday, her family was perfect, her career was perfect… she had a perfect boyfriend…

Her face dropped from the smile she'd had permanently for the last twenty minutes and raised her hands in the air, "Thank you!" she smiled weakly and gave her crowd her own little applause. She was emotionally and physically exhausted, "I hope to see you guys real soon!"

They screamed again and she stood there for a moment longer, attempting to savour the moment more than any photograph that she had taken could tell her. She waited and tried to remember each and every one of the faces looking back at her, the words on each and every sign that had been made for her. It was just like the first night… exactly like that first night.

She would kill to have that night back.

She ran off the stage and panted as she moved quickly into a dark secluded area that no one could see her. All her dancers, including Mandy had left to the other side of the stage and now it was just her who was quite obviously in need of some time alone to think about her set and think about how amazing it was.

But she couldn't think about how amazing it was… she knew it was already. All she could think about was that same excited and nervous feeling in her gut that only one person could ever replace and take away from her. That person was the last person she wanted to see… let alone the last person she wanted to help her, no matter how much he owed or 'understood' her. She would quite happily endure this awful feeling if it meant she'd be able to avoid another of those weird awkward confrontations in which she would tell him again that she hated him, and she was ashamed to say that it was true. She did hate him. He had ruined her life like she'd told him. She'd also failed to tell him that he'd made it. That he'd been part of everything that had made her into a better person.

But she would never tell him to his face…

… She didn't even want to see him face to face…

But as usual… she had no such luck.

He bumped into her, dark hair bouncing in the chilly wind of the underbellies of one of the oldest building Miley had ever inhabited in her life. Hundreds and maybe thousands of famous rock stars and performers had stood in this hallway. It was full of history and of dreams coming true. It was unlike anything she'd walked along before. It was the possessor of millions of rock and roll memories – nothing that a stadium tour could make her remember.

But an empty corridor and two teenagers, a mix of hate and love with the added one-sided annoyance was never a good thing to have in a country where they could keep it secret. There were so many possibilities… so many different things that she could say or do that would never be believed in her own country. There were so many things that she could do and keep secret and no one would ever find out because it was _impossible_ for Nick to tell the truth.

Miley's first reaction was to attempt to kick his ass.

"Sorry…" he mumbled and she could hear his apologies ringing in her ears.

However, she couldn't kick his ass. Her mixture of reminiscent feelings and of overwhelmed emotion caused her to catch his eye and let every single moment of that first night in St Louis blind her memories of what he had done since. All she could remember was what he had done on that first night when everything had changed for Miley, when she had grown up and when she had finally realised that people actually liked her. She hadn't known that it would all go away barely months afterwards. She hadn't realised that she would lose him, her reputation and everything else that mattered almost as quickly as she had gathered it up into her arms and held onto it. Loosing him had been what had caused her to lose sight, to lose understanding and to lose grip on what she should have been.

Was it wrong for her to want that back just for one moment, no matter how much she hated him?

Her arms, that had found themselves wrapped angrily around her chest at the sight of him, fell to her sides and hung their as she looked at him. She shook her head at him, gathering her emotionally angered momentum, before her hands rose to the lapels of his jacket and pushed as hard as she could till he hit the dark rich red wall behind him. His hands flew up to grab her wrists as she grabbed the fabric of his collar and gripped it as tightly and angrily as she could – she hated him for making her need to do this. She pulled him from the wall and slammed him back against the wall as hard as she could with a crash.

"Miley…" he whispered, but she did again and again until he was staring at her like the maniac that she was.

And that is when she did it. She gripped his collar tight in her hands and pulled them together like magnets without a struggle and without a fight. She melted against him, her lips harsh against his lips as she fought away her nerves and away the memories of something that had happened nearly a year ago give or take a few days.

He pushed her away and looked at her scared and confused, his hands gripping at the sides of her white shirt that she hadn't even realised had found their way there.

"_Miley…"_he repeated

"Shut up…" she breathed before she winded his words away from him with another press of her lips to his.

She kissed him hard and without mercy. She kissed him just like he'd kissed her that night in St Louis against the wall of her dressing room while she was meant to be getting changed ready to get back on the bus. Her body pressed against his body as his hands ran along her sides, over her arms and up her shoulders until he found the back of her neck, gripped it roughly with the palm of his hand and pulled her lips harder onto his with more longing and unnecessary need as he should have done. They moved, tossing and turning, fighting for power as they leant against the ruby rich wall, bodies moving together trying to find balance in an imperfect harmony. One moment, her back would be cold, his hands running over her goose-bump ridden skin as her shirt lifted under their frantic and unrequited movements. Then next, her back would ache as he threw her against the red wall just like she had done to him, her breathing getting heavier, her chest rising and falling with each desperate breath begging for normality. Her body felt numb, her fingers could not feel properly. His fingers left tingles of ache as each one of his hands ran across her skin. His lips made her feel like Miley again, fun loving and free and for a moment as he kissed her just like he'd done a year ago, soft and gentle in his own perfect way and without hope or agenda she was reminded of the person that she had loved. She was reminded of the Nick she fell in love with.

She gasped and pushed him away as her phone began to ring in its loud and constant bellow of sound. She didn't look at him as she turned away and began to walk towards the way back into the dressing rooms and the green room. She stopped in the doorway pausing before answering her phone and leaning against the doorframe back into the realm of real normality up the set of old rickety stairs.

"Hello?" she whispered, closing her eyes and venturing a subtle shake of her head.

"Oh my god, Miley!" Brandi's voice was quick and frantic and she'd never heard her like this. She was the calm and collected one who didn't give a crap what happened. She didn't get panicked or scared by anything. She was one of Miley's role models. She kept her sane when the work was crazy.

"Brand, what's wrong?" she whispered, trying to ignore the fact that he was still behind her, his tie still loose from around his neck, a few of his top and bottom buttons of his shirt undone from where her hands had been unforgiving and frantic.

"Justin!" Brandi yelled and Miley could tell that she was stood in the middle of their kitchen, making coffee to try and calm herself down while Sam was grabbing at her flailing arms. Their father was probably at work and Noah and Braison were with the Nanny or Mammie, "He went missing!"

"What?" she said confused, shocked… bewildered and every single one of those words she'd learned in English class, "What do you mean he's gone missing?"

"Well… not missing, per se… I know where he is!"

"Well then where is he? Start from the beginning."

Brandi groaned and Miley could hear typing and the sounds of paparazzi videos in the background. She heard Sam mumbling to people on the phone and she heard the TV and the news in the background. She heard the ringing of more phones and she heard the beeps of Brandi's email to signify that she'd received yet another email. It was hectic and she was here… away from it.

"There's been some stories buzzing around and I wanted to know if they were true… that Justin has been seen with this new girl that he perhaps maybe he shouldn't be with," Brandi began and her voice was calm as it could be, her breathing still frantic and her tone was shaky and unsure. Most of all, she seemed scared, "So then I spoke to Sam and he said that he hadn't seen him in days, like… since your birthday party and they hadn't spoke either… so I called him."

"And?" Miley asked quickly hating the tension. Justin was her friend and she hoped to god that he hadn't done something stupid and that he was okay. She hoped that he wasn't locked into his apartment getting eating by German Shepherds or Rottweilers. She hoped he hadn't been hurt, or he hadn't been in an accident. That boy was such a terrible driver and he was always driving off to places where no one could find him… she would kill him if he'd hurt himself or anyone else for that matter, "What's wrong?"

Brandi sighed and Miley could imagine her leaning with her elbows against the kitchen worktops, her hands over her eyes with no clue what she should do.

"He's in Tijuana…" she mumbled hopelessly, "With Selena…"

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**A/N: Cliff-hangers rock. I feel like there should be a DUM DUM DUMMMMM after this chapter. **

**Next chapter: Fault and Fancies – Nick = wtf?, Miley = wtf? Tish = OSWAIGTD (oh shit what am I going to do)**

**Feedback? Was that was you dudes expected? Was that enough Nillley for some people?**

**Love B xo**

**PS. I'm attempting to write The Truth about Love right now… **


	16. Faults And Fancies

**A/N: Here's chapter 16… not sure if it's happened how I wanted it to or if it's just another chapter of Miley screaming at people because she can and because she's a pissy teenager… she kinda has a right to in this… I think I'd be pissed too if my ex had run off to Mexico with a girl two years younger than he should do. **

**Well… anyway… enjoy folks :) **

**xo

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**Chapter 16 – Faults & Fancies**

"What?" Miley mumbled as she blinked away the primary shock.

"He's in Tijuana…" Brandi repeated, "He said that they've been there for three days and that they've not left their hotel room. They've just been 'having fun'."

Miley tried to conjure up some composure and shook her head. She felt a shadow form at her feet and she knew that he was behind her, attempting to listen and involve himself in something that had nothing to do with him… as usual, "Did you ask him where he was?" she took a deep breath losing it a little before a laugh of disbelief escaped her manically, "Did you think to ask him what _freaking _hotel he'd run away to?!"

"He didn't say!" she said protectively of herself, matching Miley's volume and her steadily increasing panic "He didn't say anything of any importance! He seemed really weird… like he was… proud of himself or something…"

Miley took deep breaths and let out a shocked laugh, "Of course he's proud of himself!" she panted and she felt like she needed a paper bag to breathe in to, "This was his stupid plan! This was all he wanted… he's out to ruin us… to ruin her… he's nothing but a…" she let out a gasp of pain and grabbed her ribs leaning against the wall as she let herself hyperventilate. This wasn't how things were _supposed _to go! He was supposed to go home and be a model… he was meant to get a recording contract and prove himself… not become some weird letch who suckered onto every single young and talented girl he could find… "_Oh my…" _The truth about him hit her fast and slow at the same time and she ventured to breathe normally without success, "_Oh My God… what have I done…?"_

"Miley calm down…" she heard Nick say beside her, "What's going on?"

Miley looked at him and the anger bubbled within her, "Brandi… I have to go…" she chocked as she hung up the phone without another word and rounded on him, her finger digging in his chest, "You wanna know what's going? Do you?!" she was about ready to sob. Her breathing worsened, "I'll tell you what the heck is going on, Bucko!"

He stepped back scared, "Miley! Calm down!"

She shook her head breathlessly, "Selena is in Tijuana with Justin! In a Hotel! Alone! And it's all YOU'RE fault for being the way that you are!" she panted out her panicked breaths and she was sure that the whole of this fine city could hear her if she wanted them to, "He's going to ruin her! He's going to ruin himself! And he's going to ruin all of us because of the stupid way that you _don't _think before you act!"

His mouth fell open.

"My fault?! What are you talking about?!" he spluttered, "How is your stupid ex-boyfriend abducting my ex-girlfriend got anything to do with me!? How is this in _any way _my fault, Miley?!"

She shook her head manically from side to side, eyes wide and her feet approaching him, "Because if you hadn't of kissed me then I would never have had to break up with him in the first place! And it would be me in _her _place! I'd be the one in freaking MEXICO while you and Selena play fucking HOUSE with your brothers and your silly little friends with _everyone loving you!!_"

Spit was flying from her mouth, her cheeks were red and she had no idea of what half the things she was saying actually meant. She was just talking and letting everything out, her disappointment, her anger, her confusion – everything – it was all escaping her.

"Miley!" he said shocked, "I can't believe-"

"No! Nick! You make _everything bad _that happens in my life happen! You're the only person who has ever, _ever _brought me this much pain! Do you _not_ realise that!?" she was so angry and so emotional than her straining not to cry was causing her eyes to water profusely, "I don't know how many times it is you've made me feel like this but it has to change… I can't be near you anymore!" she groaned and bent over grabbing at her chest, "I wish that you would just go away… that everything that has ever happened would _go away_… I wish I could just forget everything and start again and do it _better_!"

She took a deep rasping breath and held her ribs in pain. He nodded at her and she wanted him to cry… she just wanted him to cry so bad because she'd never seen him cry at her hand. He needed to cry because of her. He needed to know how it feels to have someone break your heart repeatedly… to be eternally crushed… to be snapped in half… to have a broken soul.

He shook his head sadly and refused to show her any emotion. He shook his head like he didn't even know what he was feeling. It was like the words that had left her mouth hadn't even bothered him that much. He simply accepted it. He believed her words and he agreed with her. It unnerved her.

"I'm sorry I've been such an inconvenience to you." He muttered with a cracked and broken smile.

She shook her head disappointed at him. It was either an "I'm sorry" or some other irrelevant comment that didn't really mean anything. He just kept accepting everything and not acting on it. He knew the mistakes he had made. He knew he had hurt so many people and that he had a lot of truths to tell and a lot of things to make amends for. He may have thought that he was some angel as of late for the good he had done, but it wasn't enough for her. He may have told the truth a few times but she had _always _told the truth. He had to learn that.

She felt disgusted at herself for kissing him again.

"Miley Ray! Where are you?!" her mother said as she came into the hallway looking at them standing there together. At first, from the sight of them standing together in what she had discovered from her secret powers that be as another heated and angered argument, she looked like she wanted to yell at her Daughter and chastise her for being anywhere near the boy that had as good as ruined their family. But Miley could see that she knew what was happening in the present by the way that she didn't seem to care about Nick once she'd shook her head back into focus. Brandi had called her as soon as Miley had hung up and she had told her. Momma was in on the play. She was already working a plan. And it started by dragging Miley from that hallway and back into her dressing room, putting everything she needed into her case and then making a quick exit, signing very few autographs on the way. It wasn't until they were in their car on the way to their hotel that her mother finally rounded on her wanting to know some truth.

"What the heck were you doing with that boy alone?"

Miley gawped at her and shook her head.

"Nothing."

Her mother shook her head, "It sure didn't sound like nothing…"

"Well it was…" Miley looked out of the window and nodded surely, "It was absolutely nothing… and there never will be anything because I want nothing more to do with that boy as long as I live and I can assure you of that momma…"

Her mother's gaze bore into her but she refused to turn around, "What happened?"

Miley shook her head and let a smile fall slightly to her lips. Her mother never gave up, "Nothing, mom…" she sighed and began to crack her knuckles nervously, "What's happening with Justin?"

Her mother looked down at her phone and Miley watched her reflection in the window. Her mother shook her head and scrolled through everything that could possibly help them, "I don't know, baby girl… I'm trying to get hold of your father… he'll know more than we do… because I have no clue what we're meant to do… or what we have to do…"

Miley jumped, because just like usual, as soon as she mentioned his name, her mother's phone was blowing up with her father's ring tone. She snapped it quickly to her ear and Miley watched, her head resting in her palm as her mother continued to mumble "Uhuh" and "Oh my lord" down the phone to her father. She could hear him explaining and just from the odd word that she caught onto, she knew that it was bad and that this was the start of something that would take a long time to die down (if it ever did). Selena was almost as exposed as Miley. She could see the headlines already "Replacement beats Miley to the punch: Selena caught with Miley's ex in Tijuana!" She could hear the shutters of the cameras each time she blinked. This was going to make everything ten times more worse than ever. Selena would go into hiding… it was customary. They were told to hide out for a few days once something blew up in their faces. It gave them time to think of a good enough game plan if there was no one to see and verify something. No one could talk if there was no evidence. All the press had known was that she was missing… they didn't know where or with whom she was with. Nobody did. It was for sure that Justin would keep their whereabouts secret until the best possible moment when he would reveal them to someone who could get him a job or a large wad of cash. He would wait until there would be ultimate impact, the best chance of his own survival and until he had everything he wanted before he would tell the truth.

Miley was sure of it.

"Okay… I'll talk to you later…"

Her mother sighed as she cancelled the phone call.

"He doesn't know where he is."

She let out a breath of cold air. _Big Surprise there. _

Miley nodded noticing some street vendors selling scarves on the street corner. She watched them as one of them started yelling at a girl about Miley's age, as he started pulling scarves from her bag and yelling at her that he was calling the police because she hadn't paid for them. She watched as the girl spat in the guys face and bolted as fast as she could the other way. She'd been caught and she wasn't going to give up. There was no way that she was going to go down in history as a thief. Miley could imagine the girl's single mom and a few other kids… an older brother… maybe a sister with a few kids of her own. For some reason, her face was replaced with the one of a girl that had once been her friend, her flawless face now beheld imperfections and her slick, smooth dark brown hair was greast and dank, her eyes that were once bright barely glowed with the memories of what she could have been.

"Your dad spoke to a producer that had been interested in Justin while you were together…" her mother explained, "Now that Justin's single… they're offering him a contract on the terms that he upholds the innocent image that seems to appeal to people… as long as that happens… they're in talks to sign…"

Miley let out a laugh of disbelief. How ironic…

She smiled trying not to lose control.

"So basically he's blown it?"

Her mother chuckled weakly, "It looks like it…"

Miley looked around to her mother and caught her eye instantly, "What do we do?"

Her mother's eyes were kind and sympathetic as they bore into her. She shook her head and pushed the hair from Miley's eyes protectively. Miley knew what she was going to say… but she wasn't sure she wanted to hear it.

"There's nothing we can do… We just have to carry on with our own work…"

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**A/N: Was it any good…? **

**Let me know friends… I've got a few chapters written of everything but they need reading over… I'll U/D them ASAP.**

**Love B xo **


	17. Tijuana Lady

**A/N: Thanks for your wonderful reviews. **

**I've been writing this story a lot recently and neglecting everything else. I promise you that atm this is my favourite of all my stories. This story (In my humble opinion) is going to kick ass. I've totally had this story planned out for months and every so often something clicks that makes it work all the more better. So stick around, these chapters are going to be long… you might need a snack… a pee break before you read… a glass of water… maybe even a tissue… so come prepared… I bring goodies in chapter 17 ;)**

**xo

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**Chapter 17 – Tijuana Lady**

"Mom! Dad!" he hollered through the house, his car keys in his hand as he wandered around the house looking for the only two people that could help him at this time, "Are you home?"

He had been home eight hours after that long haul flight from Heathrow to LAX after the concert. He hadn't even bothered doing anything but packing his bag once the show had been over. Since her accusations had been thrown at him, he'd had a point he needed to prove. He had something that he needed to do and it just so happened that now was the perfect time to do it. Now his bag was repacked, back in the car and he was preparing for that short drive to the place he'd been told she'd ran away to.

He found his parents in the kitchen nursing that morning's paper with yet another story and another lot of rumours. Selena had already been dead once this week according to TMZ and he wasn't sure how many more times she was going to die before the truth came out and blew up all over the media. He was working on borrowed time. Each new story took them a step away from discovering the truth about what had happened. It gave him longer to find her and kick the ass of the boy that was ruining her life.

"I need to take Big Rob somewhere for the night…" he said clearly as he stepped towards them. He was going to be a man. He was going to start saving others instead of his own neck. He was going to prove himself… he'd promised himself that he would prove himself to her. He was better than this… he was better than what she thought he was.

"Excuse me?" His father asked with a laugh.

Nick sighed and sat down next to his parents with an exhausted sigh, "I need to take Rob and I need to go somewhere for the night…" he repeated before pausing, "I'm not doing anything I shouldn't be… but I can't tell you what it is that I'm doing because I need to do it on my own and Rob won't interfere. I need you to trust me to do this… because I think I can make everything better…"

His father gulped down some coffee and narrowed his eyes at his son, "Can you give us a clue to what this is about?"

Nick shook his head.

"Can you assure us that you'll call us every hour on the hour up until the moment that we know that you're safe?" his mother asked as she stood up and walked around to stand by him.

He nodded, "Sure… I might even be back before tonight…" he shrugged, "It depends…"

His mother looked at him before looking at his father, before they began doing that weird thing that they did when they wouldn't talk to each other, they would just converse with their eyes.

"Okay…" his mother said, "Fine… one phone call… every hour…"

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"Come on…" he said as he held his cell phone out the window attempting to get some kind of service. In Mexico, it was apparently impossible for him to have any contact with the ones he loved. He was secluded from the world and in his own little bubble trying to save the world he had built up around him before he let it fall and dissolve around him until he was alone. He was attempting to be the makeshift glue of a world that didn't want to be stuck together.

"Have you called her yet?"

"Yes… she hasn't picked up the phone!"

Nick groaned and looked down at the phone. No messages, no missed calls, no emails… no instant messages… nothing. She wasn't answering. She wasn't returning his calls. She just left it ringing and ringing until her voicemail message kicked in and for a moment he thought she'd answered him instead of the computerized recorded message that had been changed since the time he first attempted to call her in London. All she said was that she was busy and she couldn't come to the phone for a while. It used to ask to leave her a message. Now it seemed she didn't care what people had to say.

Rob shook his head, "I was talking bout Momma J."

Nick blushed and quickly he nodded, "Oh… right… Yeah…" He closed his eyes forcing himself to remember what his mother had said, "she said to make sure I keep calling or I'm grounded…"

He sighed and unfastened his seatbelt, pushing his body out of the car window as he searched for service. But before he could even look to see, his body had been hauled back into the car, his seatbelt fastened in place as he blew his curls from his eyes.

"Just because your folks ain't here doesn't mean that you can act like a idiot," Rob said as he pulled over to the side of the road, "How 'bout now?"

Nick sighed and looked down at the screen of his phone trying to seem like the fact he was being treated like a child wasn't bothering him. But considering the fact that when he began jumping up and down in his seat he looked like a child, he decided not to mention it. He had service and it was quite enough to call her and leave her a message. One of the very many he'd left her over the past few days that he'd been attempting to look for her. He had decided that it would be best just to bombard her with over-whelming attention in order to scare her. But that hadn't worked. At the end of each night the inbox of her phone was full and by the time he woke up, it was empty again. She was ignoring them.

So he decided that he would use the only other thing that could scare her.

"It's me." He began just like he'd done the dozens of other messages he'd left her, "So I'm tired of this and I'm not going to give up trying to get you to talk to me." He sighed and placed his hand tiredly over his eyes, "Either you call me and tell me where you are or I call your mom and mention to her that I know you're in Mexico. Your mother is scared and I don't even think you know what that means. She thinks you've been kidnapped or that you've been murdered. When she finds out that you've just been fooling around in Tijuana with a guy five years older than you I don't think she's going to be very happy about it. I always thought that orange would suit that guy… I guess he's going to be wearing it for the next few years of his life…" He lashed out, hitting the dash of the car, "You've got two hours Lena… then I'm calling your Mom and the LAPD."

He hung up the phone angrily and looked out of the window over at the dry fields. He wiped his face and felt the skin relax exhausted against his hands for the milliseconds that it was there. He sighed loudly and shook his head as he leant forward. The sound of Rob's hand falling onto his back to pat it in comfort echoed around the metal shell and Nick shook his head in defeat.

He was tired and he was angry… and for so many different reasons.

His head was filled with the memories of all the many conversations _she'd_ one-sidedly had with him, making it widely known what _she_ really thought of him. She hated him, it was his fault and she had pretty much explained how she wished he'd never even entered her life. She'd kissed him and for a few moments he thought he'd been given his last chance. But then, quicker than her lips were on his, they were shouting at him, telling him that he had ruined everything and that he was going to ruin everything if he didn't fix himself. All he could seem to do was fail to attempt to block out those comments and those reminders and concentrate on finding and fixing all his mistakes. He hadn't slept for hours and he didn't want. There were so many things to be done.

"Hello?" he said when, forty minutes after he had called her, she had finally called him back. He knew that she couldn't fail to notice that he of all people did not screw with anyone unless he _really_ had to. He was ruthless, brutal and unlike any other person she knew when it came time for him to do something. He always relentless never gave up trying.

"Hi…"

He let a laugh escape him as his spare hand let his fingers rub his tired temples, "Where are you? I'm coming to get you."

"You can't come get me!" she jumped on his words before he had barely spoke them, her breathing shallow and nervous. Her voice was quiet. She was hiding.

Nick felt the anger bubble in him. If he'd laid a finger on her… he'd kill him.

"Where is he?"

"He's gone to the store along the street for some food…" she admitted in a whisper, "You can't come and get us."

Nick laughed, "I'm not coming to get both of you… I only want you and that's it. He can burn in hell for all I care."

She took a deep breath and he could hear her brain working a mile a minute to try and figure out what on earth she could say that would make this all seem okay. She was trying to find a way to justify her acting like an idiot and believing some guy who she hardly knew at all. In Nick's opinion, this was all more proof that Miley was nothing like Lena. Miley would never fall for such crap as this. She thought she might of, but she wouldn't. She was ten times smarter than any of them and he would admit it in a heartbeat.

"It's not how you think…" she whispered.

"Yes it is…" he cut through her in an instant and she whimpered at his snappy remarks, "It's _exactly _how I think… so tell me where you are and I promise you that I'll not call the police the minute he gets on US soil and tell them that he kidnapped you."

"You wouldn't."

He paused and let his breaths steady. He was about to have a heart attack or something. He needed to calm himself before he screamed at her.

"Test me…"

He waited patiently. He knew that she was going to tell him eventually and he didn't care how long it took. She was going to tell him, even if he had to force her. He was angry… something he hardly ever experienced at any other human being that wasn't Miley. But he wasn't just any kind of angry… he was looking for someone to take this all out on that wasn't himself. He _had _ruined everything and he didn't know how to fix it anymore except to carry on with everything that he'd started.

"Fine…" she whispered, "I'll tell you…"

* * *

"What are you doing here!?"

Selena screamed as Justin yelled, the sound of the Nick's shirt ripping echoed around the room as Justin made a grab for it, pulling him towards him by his collar. She screamed louder as Nick's companion walked into the room and pulled the man off the boy and threw him against the wall with a crash. She was screaming, yelling, begging them to stop and leave him alone because this was her fault to, but the visitors and saviours ignored her wishes as they did their best to keep the man on the floor away from her and away from hurting them.

He was writhing in pain, clutching at Rob as he tried to get to Nick. His hands were extended and grasping for him in a way that no other person had tried to, like he wanted to prove a point. His face was red with anger unlike he'd seen when he'd left him and Miley talking about what had happened backstage at the concert for Hope. But there was one thing that he could notice in his face that he hadn't realised before when he'd ruined everything for him and Miley… when he'd saved her from this fate...

It was disappointment.

Justin wanted to punish him for ruining his plan… for ruining the life he'd attempted to build for himself.

He obviously didn't realise that he'd done just that all on his own.

Nick, in a burst of anger, let his fists rain down upon him. He wanted his nose to be broken just like his had been. He wanted _his_ shoulders to ache and for _his_ cheeks to sting with the pain of the women and people he'd hurt. He wanted him to feel the pain that he had felt over the past few weeks. He wanted Justin to know what it really felt like to be him… to really love the two women he had attempted to break… how much it _really _hurt to see them scared, afraid… sad. He had always wanted to protect Miley and Lena. He'd always needed to see them safe at his hand… but he'd never _ever_ got to show it to them.

He wanted the world to know that if you messed with them, if you _broke _or _damaged_ them… then you would have him to answer to.

His own hands were covered in the blood of his own split knuckles mixed with that of his enemies by the time he had punched and kicked him until he was crying on the floor like a small child, begging for help. He flicked it onto the floor staining it red and shook his head disgusted. He still felt no better than before. He was still revolted.

His eyes turned to look at her, silently crying, sitting in her small underwear and the pale blue sheet of the bed. He had never been more ashamed and disgusted with himself and with her. She was meant to be the good one. She was meant to make everything better again. Instead, she'd just… made everything slip into a place he had never thought he would have to go. He saw the hurt in her eyes and he knew that he should have been kinder. But so many things could have happened if she'd never done this… so many great things could have happened for all of them…

He shook his head slightly, "Get your things… we're leaving…" He stepped away and took out his wallet as he stood over the whimpering fully grown male lying on the floor. He took out the usual wad of cash he kept in there and let it litter down on him, "Here…" he mumbled, "Something to help you pay for what you've done…"

Justin laughed holding his ribs, "You know, buddy… you're trying to make me out to be the bad guy right now… but you fail to realise that you're the only person who's broken those two girl's hearts!"

He wheezed with laugher and Nick smiled with him, teeth grit and menacing. Nick bent down to him and grabbed a handful of his hair with a shake of his head. He smiled as he pulled his face close to his so that he could whisper, "_You're disgusting_." He nodded, "You're revolting… and I may have made some mistakes… but at least I care about those girls and I want to protect them…" he muttered as Justin's eyes looked up at him terrified. What a real man he was…

"Don't come near either of them…" Nick warned letting his head fall back onto the floor with an echo, "Not one step in their direction… or I _will_ hurt you…"

* * *

"Are you going to tell everyone?" she asked sheepishly.

Nick shook his head avoiding her eyes still, "No."

"The police?" she whispered.

Nick looked over at her, hands clasped in her lap as Rob drove them home, and he knew what she had done. She'd done everything that the group of them had always said they would never do until they were completely sure. She'd known Justin a week and he knew that she'd given it away… she'd relinquished the last of her virtue to a boy that would use it for a story in the press rather than as a way to get closer and more emotionally involved with someone. If it would have been him, he would have worried more about her than anything else on the planet at that moment. But he knew that the only thing that had been on his mind when he'd ruined her would have been… and it wasn't of the welfare of the girl lying with him.

"It depends, Lena…" he smiled weakly, "What have you done that I could possibly call the cops for?"

Her face dropped and she looked down at her bare knees, her fingers playing at the hem of her dress that rose half way up her thighs. It looked like she'd been wearing it a few days.

"He didn't force me…" she whispered tearfully, "If that's what you're thinking…"

Nick shook his head looking out of the window. He thought when she admitted to it, he'd feel something… jealousy… or anger… But instead he still felt the same shame and anger he'd been feeling since the moment he'd seen his friend acting like the sun shined out of that guy's ass. Even more, he felt ashamed of himself because he was unable to understand what she was going through…

"Not at all… not at all…" he muttered, uncomfortably breathless, "I'm just thinking that you've broken the law… you've broken you're promises… and you've broken many, many hearts by doing this…"

She grit her teeth and shook her head, "Then why are _you _here?! What else do you want other than to tell me how much of an idiot you think I am and look like me like I'm something you just stood in?!"

"Because you're my friend!"

She shook her head, "Are you jealous?"

Nick's mouth dropped in disbelief, "_No_!"

"Then why are you here?! You're my _ex­-boyfriend!" _

"I was your friend first…" he breathed out exasperated, "Can't a friend help another friend out when he thinks that they're about to completely ruin their life?!"

Selena smiled, her eyes filled with menace and annoyance, "Not when it's you…"

He narrowed his eyes and looked at her questioningly, "What's that supposed to mean?"

She smiled and sighed.

"You're Nick… since before I even knew you I knew you as the guy that kept out of everyone's way and kept himself to himself…" she shook her head, "_You_ don't drive for hours to a hotel on the beach in Tijuana just to help someone. _You_ wait and let someone learn and do something their self and find out the hard way _on their own_ like an asshole…" she paused and shrugged, "So here's a question…

"Who's letting _you_ learn?"

Nick smiled and shook his head. She had him. She knew him almost as well as his best friends. But no one would ever know him as good as _her_ though… she had seen all of his different sides… she had seen his many faces. She knew every good and every bad part of him that there was. She had seen everything she needed to see to know that she didn't want him.

He gulped, "I'm trying to prove myself…"

"To who?"

A blush flushed across his cheeks just thinking about that one person and his eyes glazed over, "_Miley_…" nerves bubbled within him and he looked down at his hands just like she'd done. He coughed and spoke up, repeating himself, "Miley…" He nodded, "She told me she hates me… and that everything's my fault…"

Selena nodded in realisation her mouthing forming and "oh".

"You still love her huh?"

Nick didn't answer. He just stared at her, but by the intensity of his gaze, she knew what it meant. He had told her he wanted to break up with her because he didn't want her to be stuck in a relationship where her boyfriend would be constantly on tour and unable to speak to her. Now he was just confirming that she hadn't been enough for him and he still wanted the one thing that he could have. He would never learn.

He was surprised and relieved when all Selena did, as they pulled into her driveway, was lean towards him and kiss him on the cheek and wrap her arms around him, her mouth settled by his ear so that Rob couldn't hear her.

_"You don't need to prove yourself…_" she whispered to him, _"You just need to tell the truth…" _

He smiled at her as she loosened her grip from around his neck and opened the door. She slid out of the car and looked back to smile at him. He watched her carefully as she slowly walked towards her house, off to fight what remained of the battle he would not be able to continue to fight for her. Instead he would just have to keep moving slowly along with his own.

**

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A/N: I only like/am attracted/want Nick when **_**I**_** write him… Is that bad of me…? **

**So… what did you guys think? Any good? I kinda liked it…**

**DEAL: Ten Reviews = new chapter**

**At least I know that 10 people like it hahah **

**Much love B xo**


	18. Life With No Meaning

**A/N: Wow… you guys sure are animated. Let's see if you can manage to continue with this wonderful streak of wonderful feedback because it's quite amusing to see how many of you guys don't like the little Nelena moments ha. I'm not saying anything. You'll have to keep reading to find out whether or not I've decided that it's "Nelena FTW" or "Niley… all the wayyyy". Hopefully… this little chapter hurr will give you some clues to what's gawna happen. **

**xo**

**

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Chapter 18 – Life With No Meaning **

_**Three Weeks Later **_

_Spotted Today:_

_Selena Gomez was seen out shopping with her boyfriend of mere weeks, Justin Gaston at a Burbank Mall today, shopping in Forever 21 for t-shirts and jeans. When asked again for a comment on her new relationship status, Miss Gomez refused to give a comment on how their relationship came about and whether it had anything to do with her going AWOL for a week last month before being seen taken home by youngest JB, Nick at 11:30 at night. Miley better watch out… looks like there's a new Disney Controversy Queen among us. _

Miley groaned from her bed, as she read new entries in the Gossip sites. It was another day, another story that wasn't about her for once. It was strange and it was surreal. No one seemed to want to know about her anymore now that Selena and Justin had completely taken over the media with their controversial get together, their public displays of affections and their refusal to say anything about each other. Her 'replacement' was now living the life that she hated. She had roped in the media attention and she now had to deal with everything that Miley had dealt with for an entire year of her life. She was dealing with the slander, the accusations and the harsh and rude names that people yelled at her as she walked along the street.

"Miley…" she buried her head deeper under the covers she'd been immersed in for the past fourteen hours and shook her head as she heard the nanny standing in her doorway.

Her mother had gone for lunch with her father. She'd asked to go with her but instead her mother had told her that it was a parent thing ready for her birthday at the end of the month but she was sure that her father had said that he didn't want her there. The Nanny was now enjoying her time being in charge of the hyperactive eight year-old, the grumpy fourteen year-old and the annoyed fifteen year-old superstar with a day off.

"I'm not in the mood, Laura…" she mumbled, "I didn't sleep well."

"It's time to get up…" Laura explained as she began to pick the various items of clothes off of Miley's floor and throw them over her arm heading to her closet with a sigh. She waltzed back into the room, arms empty and stepped towards Miley before flicking her on the bottom of the foot that was poking from the bottom of her quilt, "You've got a visitor… he's waiting by the front gates with Larry… he wouldn't let him in…"

Her head poked out from under her quilt and she shook her head at Laura confused, "Who is it?"

Laura wandered around for a few minutes and said nothing looking eternally shifty. Her eyes darted to every inch of Miley's bedroom apart from at the girl herself who was staring at her like she was an axe wielding maniac about to lop off her earlobes.

"It's…uh… it's Justin…" she stood up and nodded looking at Miley in a way that begged 'please-don't-shoot-the-messenger" and began to slowly back out of her room carrying her dirty laundry, "He says that… he feels he should talk to you rather than you listen to the press about everything… he says he wants to explain everything to you because you're probably thinking about him what everyone else is saying when it isn't true…"

Miley laughed and shook her head, resting back on her elbows, a look of shocked and pained disbelief plastered on her face.

"Did you tell him that I probably won't believe him?"

Laura shrugged and nodded moving back to Miley now that she was sure she wasn't murderous, "Yeah…" she handed Miley some grey sweats and smiled, "But I figured you didn't have anything better to do today…"

Miley shook her head and snatched the sweats from Laura's hands; "Fine…" she groaned swinging her bare legs off the side of the bed feeling the carpet beneath her feet as she rested them down onto the floor. She let out a yawn and shook her head, "But he's not coming in the house…"

* * *

He walked up her driveway, one of his arms swinging proudly at his sides as he held a large package in the other. He was smiling at her, grinning like he was the biggest man in the universe. His hair was unusually tidy and he'd obviously been to the barbers as it seemed shorter and slicker like the grease ball she now saw him as. He was wearing a dress shirt and some fancy skin tight jeans that she knew that he wouldn't have been able to afford a month ago. His usual sneakers were replaced with some Italian fine leather shoes and she was reminded of someone else she'd once had the pleasure and pain to know.

"I don't want anything you've got to give me…" she muttered as he came closer to her.

Her arms were folded across her chest as she set her jaw and refused to move it into any other kind of expression that didn't show him how angry and disappointed she was in him. She wanted him to know that she was disgusted in him, she was ashamed and she didn't even want to be near him anymore. Any guilt for the things she'd done to him was now gone now that she knew how much of a pathetic user he was. She didn't care what he had to say because nothing could change the truth. She knew what he really was.

"What are you talking about?" He smiled and held the package out to her, "I didn't bring it… I found it by your mailbox outside the gate… the paparazzi were about to steal it and I took it off them."

She snatched it from him and placed it inside her bedroom as they stood facing each other at her own private entrance to the house. Thinking quickly she unwrapped her limbs from around her ribcage, moving them to block the doorway as he stepped closer to her. He smiled at her, giving her a little wink in attempts to break down her barriers but she simply shook her head at him. He was staying outside. He wasn't coming into her home and soiling anything of her life. He was trash and trash belonged outside in dumpsters.

"You're not coming in here…" she breathed and he laughed at her, only angering her more.

How could he laugh at her when he was the most obscenely amusing and ridiculous thing she'd ever seen? He was the joke who made jokes out of other people. He was a Clown, the talent-less imbecile who had ruined his chances of ever having a career by deciding on being a male slut rather than using what he actually had to give…

She shook her head for a second at the stupidity of her thoughts… _of course_... that _was_ all he had to give – his body and his inability to act and feel like a normal human being, hurting everyone in his path.

"Come on, Miley…" he laughed softly and unsurely, "You can't be serious…" He looked at her and her face didn't change one millimetre. His smile dropped and his brow furrowed inquisitively, "You believe everything they're saying, don't you?" He shook his head and for a moment she believed his attempts to show honesty, "You think that I'm just using her for her fame and her career… you think what they're saying is _true?"_

She shrugged her shoulders and her gaze avoided the fake in his eyes, "Isn't it?"

The laugh that escaped him at that moment brought bile to her throat and she fought for her body to not lurch forward and release itself onto his feet nearby. She closed her eyes as the feeling of nausea washed over her and she attempted to stay still and try to remember the good things and forget all the bad. She forced a smile as he chuckled to himself about something that he apparently found hilarious. She knew deep down that when he told her what it was it would be at somebody else's expense.

"I'm just trying to make my way up the food chain, Miles…" he muttered as he let the chuckles continue, "Is there something wrong with that? Because in my opinion it's just simple basic instinct…"

Her eyes opened to peek at him and she shook her head. Malice bubbled through her body and she let out her own laugh, directed only at him and his sick way of thinking.

"So we're all just animals to you?" she whispered ashamed, "Drawing us in, baiting us into a reaction and sending us to the slaughter house to get what you need?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "It's just the way of life… its your choice if you chose to be weak and chose the hard way…" he looked down at his huge expensive watch and she scoffed at him showing off everything he didn't deserve while in her mind she administered and thought of all the things he did, "I'm sorry that I found an easier way to survive than you, Miley… but the good guys don't finish first… they drag along last pulling along the crap and the trash along behind them…"

She sighed. Was he… _crazy?_

"Life _is _hard Justin… no matter which path you chose…" she explained, "_Life_ is here to test us and it's here to throw obstacles at us… you don't hurt people that show you compassion… when someone speaks you listen… you don't just do whatever you can to get what you want… you have to fight for it and you have to deserve it…"

Justin laughed and pushed his still rather floppy hair from his eyes until it fell back into them perfectly, "Is that what you told that ex-boyfriend of yours? To fight for everything he wants? Did you listen to him when he spoke or did you just ignore him like you're ignoring what I'm trying to explain right now?"

Miley shook her head. He only knew one of her weaknesses. But Nick wasn't one of her weaknesses anymore. He meant nothing to her. He was a thing of her past that she had forgotten and left in places she no longer inhabited. He couldn't hurt her anymore… no matter what Justin could say to her.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Justin…" she smiled, a hand moved to rest on her hip as the other gripped the door ready to fling it in his face, "There's nothing to listen to when either one of you two assholes speaks… all you talk is _shit_…"

Justin laughed and after a moment he stepped forward his hand extended to her. His fingers grazed her cheek, her entire body freezing in simultaneous fear and disgust. He dropped his lips down to kiss her on the cheek, his mouth a mere half inch away from her ear, his breath grazing against her hair. His mouth opened to speak and her skin grew cold and began to crawl from the base of her spine upwards.

"All three of us talk _shit_ about our lives_, _Miley…" he whispered to her and she bit her lip trying not to push him away and potentially cause him to do something that could end in scandal and more press coverage for everyone… that only one of them wanted, "_But only one of us is happy and content about it…" _

A deep breath of oxygen entered her lungs and she shook her head, ready to murder him.

_"Get away from my house…"_

Another chuckle escaped him and he began to step away giving her a low bow as he did so.

"_Gladly my queen…" _

* * *

She screamed once she'd closed the door on him and leant back on it about ready to collapse in anger. She kicked her heels against the wood of the door and covered her face with her hands trying to let go of all the fury within her. She yelled, she screamed, she hollered. She kicked, she punched, and she banged everything that she could reach. She'd had enough. She wanted everything to go away. She wanted someone to save her. She needed desperately for someone to make sense of all this and tell her. Hours and hours of thinking, days and days of head pains and stomach lurches and she was no closer to figuring out why her life was such a trash heap. She wanted to run away. She hid at every opportunity from the things that her life threw at her. She didn't want all this drama anymore. She wanted something real… she wanted something that wasn't fuelled and pained by the rumours of hundreds or thousands of should-be-unemployed, otherwise talent-less journalists that seemed to be obsessed and intrigued by her otherwise simple and clean life.

Those people that were determined to feed their lives from her career… they were the ones that made her who she was. Without them… she was just another teenage girl who was heartbroken and filled with angst. She was just as unhappy, just as ecstatic, just as eternally confused as every other fifteen year-old on the planet. She had the same problems.

She breathed slowly, her arms pressed back against the door as she looked around her room, grasping at her normality.

She caught sight of the package on her floor through her watering eyes and stepped tentatively towards it. Anywhere his hands had touched, she didn't want to be near. Anything that he'd beheld was as good as dust.

Her fingers pressed over it and she wondered what her mother had been ordering again… or what Mammie had found while searching on the internet when no one was home… Even worse what Braison could have sneakily charged to their mother's credit card while she was sleeping… all pretty much meant trouble. She turned it over and saw her own name printed on the front of the normal delivery sticker. She inspected all of the stamps and stickers on the front of the box. All different colours and all different meanings, half of them gave her no clue to who the gift had come from. She was sure that there was meant to be a return address, but there was none. Someone had trust in the United States Postal Service to deliver the right package to the right person. She looked closer lifting the box and feeling the insides move slightly. It was a local post mark… from someone nearby.

Sitting down cross-legged on her floor, she licked her lips and reached for the loose unstuck edge of the tape at the end of the package and began to slowly rip it from the cardboard, dragging it along until it came off in her hands and the box popped open to reveal the white Styrofoam underneath.

Carefully, she placed her hands into the box and grasped around for the item sat inside, feeling the hard smooth wood and the cold metal of the short and tiny strings. She felt the grooves in the wood and the way that it was a beautifully carved child's guitar painted in beautiful colours and with markers to all the minor and easiest chords for playing the guitar over the fretboard. She sighed, feeling emotional and turned the guitar over to look at the back. Written in gold paint, which had been partly chipped away, the words "_My first guitar_" were inscribed onto the wood blazing at her in the dim low light of her bedroom.

Confused, she placed the tiny guitar next to her on the carpet and dragged the box back to her and buried her hand down deep into the Styrofoam pellets that littered the box filling it half full and concealing the bottom of the box. She dug around and searched looking for some kind of answer to why someone would want to give her this… who would give her a guitar and what was the meaning behind it. This was the strangest gift she'd ever received considering that she had known how to play guitar for so many years that she could barely count them. Who would want her to have this?

But when her hands found the piece of paper in the bottom of the box, she hadn't expected it to read what it did. She hadn't expected to see those words… or to understand that resilience and ultimate feeling of being unable to give up. She didn't expect her stomach to rumble with momentary guilt, her heart to flutter nervously and weakly in her chest or for a lump to rise in her throat as her eyes began to burn. No… she had expected to be angry and to want to scream again. She had wanted fury and annoyance.

But instead, she felt embarrassed and she felt shame and with no idea to whom it was aimed at. She was embarrassed and the only thing she could do as she slipped the piece of paper into the pocket of her sweats was to place the tiny guitar back into the box and carry it to her closet, opening it up and hiding it inside in a place where everyone, even she, could forget that it was there. She placed it where she wouldn't have to pay any attention to it and where only her subconscious could continue to bubble with thoughts long after her consciousness had flooded with new memories.

Miley crawled into her bed and covered herself with the quilt before as usual she became too hot and kicked off her sweats till they were pooled at the end of her covers. She waited, remembering what she had placed so quickly into her pocket after tearing her eyes away from it as quick as she could.

Her hands were fast as she reached beneath the covers and yanked it out of her from the soft cotton fabric, taking it into her hands and holding it until she was sure that no one could walk in and find her. She waited moments, minutes maybe until she opened her hand and looked back down at the perfectly white piece of paper and the words, written in that same old familiar scrawl of handwriting. Her eyes glazed over them back and forth, back and forth, again and again until she was sure that she had read them as much as she could. Still, even when she was sure, she continued to stare at them, until slowly as the sun sunk lower in the sky and the shadows in her bedroom began to grow darker, she fell asleep… the paper still screwed up in her hands, the handwriting she had attempted to burn away with her eyes still as prominent as ever:

"_I thought there was no meaning to my life until I first picked up my guitar…_

_I was wrong._

_There was no meaning until I met you._

_Love always, Your Prince Charming x"_

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A/N: Satisfactory? Did you like? Let me know? I'm kinda sorta proud of this one :). I'm starting to get into my flow. **

**Anyone guessed what's happening yet? Anyone care to venture a sneaky one? **

**Here's the deal = 15 reviews and I'll update.**

**Love you all B xo**


	19. The Other Side Of The Story

**A/N: This is a short chapter… it's just a quick chapter to follow on the plot. It's quite important even thought it may seem boring. I still want you guys to try and guess what NJs trying to do. All these little things… what are they? What's going to happen? Tell me… **

**xo**

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Chapter 19 – The Other Side Of the Story**

"_Stop it!"_

She whispered giggling, as his fingers nimbly ran up her sides bringing bubbles of laughter and amusement to her lips as he tickled her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Her t-shirt was high around her navel and his shirt had long been unbuttoned to reveal his wife beater underneath. His floppy hair was crawling into his eyes with each movement he made, while he pushed hers from her face with his gentle lips that teased her. There legs entwined on the couch as just like the very few hours they had spent alone together previously, they held on with both hands to the very little time that they had left together before it was time for him to jet off somewhere again. She smiled at him, and kissed him on the cheek as he chuckled in her ear, grabbing hold of her arms to bring them behind her back where she couldn't stop him from raining his ticklish hands down upon her.

"_Stop it!" _She hissed warningly as she heard the sounds of footsteps coming down the stairs towards them, pausing in the kitchen and opening up the fridge and taking something out. The squeaking of the rubber soles of some converse on ceramic tiles told her that the intruder wasn't going to be leaving any time soon, they were staying put.

At the same time, from their position lying on the couch, Joe squashing Mandy like a pancake, the two young lovers shot their heads up over the back of the cushions to see Joe's younger brother wandering the kitchen like a lost little lamb trying to find Bo Peep. He was dressed in his red plaid shirt and an old pair of jeans that he looked like he hadn't worn in months. They were old and worn but they looked like they were as snug as a bug in a rug considering how he wasn't fidgeting with himself as much as he usually did. He was wearing his old gross converse that had been worn through so much crap and dirt that it was impossible to tell what colour they actually were anymore. The most noticeable thing of his current appearance was the messy and unkempt style of his hair. He looked like the old Nick… the one who didn't give a crap what his hair looked like because there was no reason to care what people thought. Someone loved him back then… someone loved him just the way he was.

"Whatcha doin' there bud?" Mandy asked, her heart aching a little at the sight of his lost little face. He looked like he was about to hurl. He was apparently nervous. He had all his classic signs… the pacing… the loud exasperated breaths and the need to hold onto something as his hands seemed to want to twitch and tap and drum things in lack of something better to do as he waited.

His head spun to look at them and he jumped back slightly shocked to see them there, especially with both their hair in disarray and their cheeks pink and obvious with enjoyment, "Oh… hi guys… I… uh… didn't see you there…"

"You okay, bro?" Joe said as Nick waited moments to talk, failing to answer the previous question that had been aimed at him, "You look like you just broke something of Mom's…"

Nick chuckled out a breathless, nervous and shaky laugh and shook his head, "It's nothing… I'm just waiting on someone… to umm… to stop by…"

Mandy unravelled her legs from around Joe and leant up on her knees to look over the back of the couch inquisitively. Her eyes narrowed, "Is it a girl?"

Nick looked around at her, his hands behind his back and he played nervously with the infamous ring on his left hand, "It's nothing, Mandy… really… just…" he sighed and suddenly he was wiping his brow nervously, "It's something I need to take care of…"

Joe looked at Mandy as she stared at Nick's hands. His ring was fine… but further up he was wearing something that she was sure she'd seen many, many times before. She was sure that she'd seen it too many times and that she'd once hated the sight of it. Sometimes she hated that she had an awful memory.

When the door bell rebounded off the many walls of their house and sounded loud and proud around them, Nick quickly jumped to attention and ran to the door to open it. Mandy and Joe, like lions hunting their prey, both instantly began to crawl slowly across the floor of the living room and over to the kitchen where they could get a closer look, a better view of the person they would later discuss with the rest of their friends when they were continuing their new found favourite hobby: the discussion of what the hell Nick was doing with his life and where the heck he had been disappearing to at the most strangest of moments. It was the subjects lack of answers that kept it them all most interested. The stories of Lena and Justin were old news now and everyone who was close to them knew the truth already. Mandy and Joe always needed something new and fresh to keep their thoughts occupied on other things but their deepest darkest desires.

Mandy and Joe hid behind the island in the middle of the kitchen, listening carefully as Nick talked to the woman who had recently entered the hallway. She laughed when Nick said something to her that Mandy and Joe didn't hear. But they looked around at each other shocked at the middle-aged sounding laugh of a very throaty and nicotine ridden woman. Joe's eyes widened and Mandy muffled her mouth trying not to laugh. They peered around the corner and saw her, mid to late thirties dressed in a summer dress and a leather jacket, apparently trying to look cool for her age. She was still shaking Nick's hand and he was smiling at her nervously as he directed her through to his private music room in the garage.

Mandy and Joe collapsed onto the tiled floor, leaning against the wooden island in the middle of the kitchen as they heard the door slam. Mandy looked around at Joe and shrugged her shoulders confused.

Joe simply smiled, "I can't believe that we judged Miley for dating someone a few years older…" he took hold of her hand and shook his head amused, "Nick's apparently secretly dating someone whose old enough to be his mom…"

Mandy laughed at him but at the same time she shook her head unsure, biting her lip and closing one eye, "Something tells me that this has nothing to do with that woman and Nick… but maybe another Nick and someone else…"

She waggled her eyebrows at him and he furrowed his own in confusion, "what do you mean?"

She laughed and slapped her hand onto the one she was holding, "He's wearing Miley's bracelet..."

Out of pure nervousness and fear, Joe's face fell and he looked down at their hands. What the hell was he going to do now?

* * *

"Listen, Clara… thanks for letting me do this so close to when the issue's actually going to print…"

She laughed setting herself up and placing her camera on the tripod, rearranging the lights that she was carrying around in a bag and sitting him down in the leather button back armchair where so many of his songs had been written.

"Well you just count your lucky stars that Britney pulled out on us at the last minute and didn't give us an interview…" she chuckled to herself like it was nothing, like not having a person on the front cover of her magazine was nothing, something that happened every month, "I was just glad that you called and said that you'd picked us to give us your little statement about the September issue… it was one of our big sellers…"

Nick smiled and brushed his hair from his eyes nervously, "As much as I don't doubt that this issue will probably sell more issues than I want it to… I don't really care about how many people read it… just one person…"

Clara turned to him and shook her head, "I don't understand what you're saying, Nick…"

He smiled and groped around for his own copy of that magazine everybody had been raving about. He found it and flipped through the pages quickly looking for that face he was still, even though she hated him, desperate to see the up close face of again. She was so much more beautiful in real life when you could touch her. He found the page and paused for a moment, smoothing out the wrinkles that had already started to appear after mere months. Clara looked at him confused and took the magazine from him confused. She shook her head and looked closer at the pages like they had magical properties.

"You want to set the story straight, right?" she mumbled flicking through some of the own handy worked she'd picked herself, "I thought you called me up to say how she's crazy and a liar… I thought this is what you'd decided with the editorial team…"

He took the magazine and shook his head, "I have nothing bad to say, Clara… she beat me to the punch to come clean about the one story we'd been desperate to tell everyone… I just want to say all the things she couldn't say herself…"

Clara shook her head at him confused and what appeared to be slightly pissed off, but still a sneaky smile formed at her lips as she took out her cigarette packet and shoved the white stick between her lips.

"Is it going to be good?"

He smiled at her and motioned for her to sit down and hear him out. He looked down at the magazine and smiled as he ran the soft pad of his thumb over the curves of her cheeks on the page and imagined that it was her real soft skin he was touching.

"It's going to be… _unforgettable_…"

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A/N: The next chapters quite revealing… fifteen reviews and I'll let you read it… if you can do more… I'll write a few more chapters ready to update ;)**

**Love you all B xo**

**PS. It's freaking snowing. Again. **

**PPS. WTF? $4Billion? There is something wrong with the world. I'm starting to believe that Racism is just a media tool. Fuckers. **


	20. His Worst Mistake

**A/N: I've decided that I don't like this chapter but I'm going to upload it anyway. So… give me feedback… Yet again this is another very important chapter that helps to shift the plot on. I've realised that from now on in this story Miley will spend 50 percent of her time on her back in bed… and there's so many things that could mean… think about it ;).**

**xo**

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Chapter 20 – His Worst Mistake **

"Miley!!!"

Miley squeaked as she felt the heavy weight of her best friend land on her head above the quilt. She screamed, wriggled and fought her way out as Mandy refused to budge, her heavy weight compressing her head until she could literally feel the brain cells exploding and dying inside of her brain. She emerged and brushed her long hair back out of her face half in and out of sleep as she looked up at her best friend who was glaring at her like a maniac.

Miley eyed her for a moment.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

Miley shook her head, "Now tell me the truth…"

"I don't know if you're going to like it…" she mumbled sheepishly.

Miley took a deep breath in and shook her head, "I really don't care right now… so whatever crappy story about me… or stupid tale about someone we know that you've got to tell me…" she let her arms fall down at her sides as she struggled to sit up in fatigue, "Just tell me the freakin' story so I can get back to what I do best…"

Mandy paused and looked at her sceptically, "Singing?"

Miley groaned, "Sleeping, Amanda… please tell me what the heck you have to tell me and maybe I'll spare you…"

Mandy's eyes rolled, "Wow… someone woke up in their grumpy pants today… Here…" she held the magazine out to Miley who took it from her quickly and flipped it open, "I thought you should get yourself prepared for when the questions start coming…"

Miley looked down at the magazine and her eyes widened. "Seventeen" magazine… the same magazine as she'd revealed all to… and he was doing just the same. She flipped through the pages, ripping a few unimportant ones on her way to the only one's that she cared about. She read through them and she finally felt the one feeling she'd been craving to feel since that stupid box had arrived. She felt her cheeks go red and her hands curl into fists as she was desperate to throw a punch at someone. She looked at Mandy, trying to tell her via brainwaves how much she really didn't want to see something like this right now, the feeling to scream becoming to unbearable as she stomped from the warmth of her bed and into the cold and welcoming freshness of her bathroom, slamming the door leaving everything unstable in her room shaking.

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**Nick Jonas speaks: "I should never have let Miley Go"**

_In his first and only solo interview since Miley Cyrus' controversial interview in the September pages of this magazine, Nick Jonas reveals to Seventeen magazine about life on the road, his apparent feud with older brother Joe, what he really thinks of Mandy Jiroux and that all important question of what really happened with Miley a year ago when they were on tour. Was Nick's version of events that contributed to the heart-wrenching break-up of these two young stars the same as those outlined by Miss Hannah Montana herself? _

_During a very low-key private interview and photo shoot we press these questions to the man of the hour and for once he is very talkative on the subjects that we deliver to him_.

**Seventeen: So Nick, you're on tour again, for the fifth time in 2 years? It must be difficult for you constantly being on the road and working. **

Nick Jonas: Uh, it is hard, but its fun you know…? You're always in someplace new and always meeting all these new people. It's hard not to get caught up in the excitement and what's going on and completely forget that you've not been home in four months and you've played for hundreds of thousands of people. The times when it is draining are when you sit in silence for the first time in months and realise that there are all these people that you haven't seen in such a long time and you begin to miss them. It's also physically draining because you're always on the move and you hardly ever sleep.

**17: It's got to be hard constantly being with the same people for months and months on end. Do you ever become annoyed at your parents and brothers and just wish that you could stop going on stage and just act like a normal kid?**

NJ: I've never wished to not be on stage because it's a gift and if I was to throw it away I would be being stupid because I'm so lucky to have been given this opportunity to play music. But I won't lie, there are days that I get up into this bustling world that's loud and hectic and wish that I could just get away for a few hours. It's only human sometimes. People get bored of each other and they need a break.

**17: Recently there have been stories of love triangles between you and your brother Joe with an unnamed girl. Is it true? Do you ever share dating issues with your brothers?**

NJ: No, because that rumour wasn't true. I never have and never _will _be involved in a so-called 'love triangle' with my brother because I now respect that his love life is his love life and my own is my own. He can date whoever he wants and I will try my best to stay out of it in order to secure his happiness.

**17: What do you mean when you say that you 'now respect' who Joe dates? Have you ever not respected who he dates, especially considering that now, a year after they first met he is dating Mandy Jiroux?**

NJ: What I mean by that is that, a year ago when Mandy and Joe met, I caused some trouble between the pair by getting myself involved in their feelings for each other causing them to be lost in translation so to speak. There was a time when I thought that Mandy wasn't good enough for Joe, but after seeing her with Miley and getting to know her through other people I see that they are perfect for each other and they deserve each other.

**17: So that is what caused the stories of your brother attacking you in a diner local to your home were about… your dislike for Joe being with Mandy a year ago?**

NJ: Partly it was, but mostly it was out of Joe's pure anger to how I had been treating people at that time. After that moment when my own brother was turning against me, I think I realised that I needed to change my ways and get back what people were calling 'the old Nick'. It was all very childish at the time, but I feel that I have atoned for my mistakes and now everything has been figured out and resolved.

**17: There has also been some rivalry between you, your brothers and Miley Cyrus? **

NJ: Yes… there has.

**17: The divide between the camps, you might say has become more complicated as the year went on. On one side of the coin, your brother Kevin was openly seen wearing a "Team Demi and Selena" T-shirt showing his side and on the other Joe was seen spending the day with Miley before jetting to a concert with her. How did you feel when all of this was happening?**

NJ: Kevin and Miley, to tell the truth had never really been the best of friends. Kevin's serious and focussed on what he's doing while Miley is fun-loving and free. When we were on tour, Kevin always wanted to just get everything done to the best of our ability… I'm not saying that Miley just wanted to screw around all day but she wanted to do things in a much easier way that didn't make everyone depressed as we were soon all getting towards the end of the tour. He wore the t-shirt as a joke for Demi and Selena as they had always been great friends since they met as they shared similar ideas. But as you say, on the other side, Joe and Miley had always been like brother and sister and no one had seen it because they didn't want it blown out of proportion and to have rumours about it. From what I know, they were always calling each other when in trouble or in need of a friend. Plus, they shared on thing in common – that being their love for Mandy and dislike for me.

**17: So you and Miley aren't friends as much as she is with Joe?**

NJ: Not since last winter… that was probably the last time I spoke to her properly and calmly and it wasn't exactly the best of conversations we'd ever had.

**17: A few months ago, Miley gave us a very interesting interview in which she stated that you and she had dated for 2 years until you amicably broke up. You yourself haven't addressed those issues in any interview since it was released. Why is that?**

NJ: (Pauses) Because I was always too scared and insecure to admit to anything.

**17: By that, do you mean that you were too scared to address these rumours and put them to rest?**

NJ: I guess it was hard for me to sit in front of someone, after she'd put all these accusations up against me and just say to that person that 'yeah, I broke Miley's heart' and just be cool with it. It wasn't cool what I did to Miley and I regret it everyday because I've lost her as a friend.

**17: So what she said was true?**

NJ: Yes it was. I asked her to be my girlfriend pretty much instantly. We met when we were thirteen and it didn't seem to matter that we were with each other and not anyone else until we started driving each other crazy. Miley told you that it was amicable that we broke up because at first it was, she was trying to protect me from the hate I'd probably get from people finding out what I really did to her.

**17: What did you really do to her?**

NJ: We were together for a really long time, and she was always so cool with everything even when things were bad. I'm not that kind of person, if I'm angry and something bad is going on I completely seclude myself from everyone. But I didn't do that with Miley. I was angry and depressed from the amount of pressure we had on us, and I took it out on her to the point that we would argue every night after a concert and the minute we saw each other. Then one day, she came into my dressing room trying to be kind to me and I completely dismissed her really. I guess it was the last straw for Miley and she said that she thought it was best that we stay away from each other until we'd figured if we were sure of where this was going…

**17: And that's how you broke up? **

NJ: I guess, but then… well… I became really insecure and turned into a complete idiot without her.

**17: What do you mean by that?**

NJ: Miley was making a lot of friends without me on the tour… loads of them were guys and I thought that she was… with them I guess. The fact that I got really jealous to the point of stupidity and sooner or later the news got to her that I'd been… _seeing_ some girls I knew from back home while we were apart and wasn't even thinking of Miley probably put the end to our relationship. I completely forgot about her and decided that I could do better…

**17: And that's the reasons for your break-up? These are the reasons you no longer talk anymore?**

NJ: It was also about the same time that we all started hanging out with Selena as her show became more successful. Miley thought that Selena and I were dating about the minute that we had officially broke-up. She was kinda right, because we'd been on a couple of dates and that was how all those stories about kissing on the first date came around. I was just trying to find a replacement for what I'd lost because I was too busy to go and chase after it. I suppose the reason we no longer talk anymore is because at first Miley couldn't handle talking to me, but then I ignored her when some of my friends convinced me there was no need to talk to her anymore.

**17: So what happened with you and Selena?**

NJ: We dated for a week or so when we first met and it was cool because I thought I'd be able to get over how I treated Miley. But then I realised that maybe doing that would cause us to become ruined like me and Miley and I realised how much of a friend Selena was and I couldn't do it. But as we got to know each other, I changed my mind and thought that maybe we could have something after getting to know each other.

**17: So what do you feel now? Are you over Miley? You of course broke up with Selena shortly after the concert for Hope.**

NJ: Yeah, mine and Selena's break-up was amicable. We're still great friends and she's doing great. I didn't want her to be tied down to someone as busy as I was so we thought it was for the best that we broke up. Of course, she now has Justin which is good for her I guess… I haven't really spoken to her properly since they got together.

But…I guess, what Miley and I had in anyway shape or form… is over. She said in an interview that breaking up had completely ruined us as friends and it did. I missed her for a long time after we broke up and I couldn't handle what I'd done to her. Losing Miley was the worst moment of my life, beyond finding out I had diabetes or anything like that because it was something that I could have stopped. I regret every bad action towards Miley that I ever took because now I've lost her completely and I don't blame her for it. I wouldn't talk to me either.

**17: You talk very passionately about this. Were you in love with Miley?**

NJ: (Pauses) Yeah, I was in love with Miley… but I am in no way good enough for her. She has so much love to give a person, I was scared by it. What we had was mature and it was grown up towards the end and I could not handle the fact that we had become like we were. I was with in love with this beautiful girl and I threw her away because I was too insecure to realise that within a few months I'd have been matured enough to know that she was exactly what I needed to be "the real Nick". Not stopping her leaving was a mistake. I should have stopped her.

**17: What about for the future? What are your hopes for it in all aspects of your life?**

NJ: I guess it's just to keep on loving my family and caring for them… I of course want to carry on making music and doing what I'm doing and keeping everything nice and in check. I don't want to become too busy and turn out like a lot of people in the industry do nowadays. I want to keep it real and healthy.

**17: You haven't mentioned your love life. What do you want for the future?**

NJ: I don't know… I guess I just want to find a girl who wants all the same things I do. I want the perfect girl who I can fall in love with and make music with. I want someone who I'm not afraid to love.

_**Nick Jonas wears his own Levi jeans, black Chuck Taylor converse and red plaid shirt. His bracelet is also his own. He is currently on his fifty date Burning up Reloaded Tour which ends a week after the American Music Awards on November 30. **_

* * *

Mandy carefully pushed the door open twenty minutes later to see Miley sitting and leaning against the cold marble floors and walls of her bathroom. Her arms were wrapped around her knees as she hugged them uncomfortably to her chest. Her cheeks were stained with the tracks of tears that were no longer present. She was expressionless all apart from the slight appearance of sadness that as of late had constantly beheld her no matter how much anyone tried to cheer her up and make her better.

Mandy paused in the doorway not knowing what to do. Was she angry or was she sad? When she was angry no one should be near Miley. When she was sad… she needed someone to tell her that it was okay. As usual Mandy was left going with the flow of the events of her life, riding the wave that she wasn't sure would ebb slowly away or crash like a tidal wave destroying everything.

"_He's wearing my bracelet…" _she whispered coughing as her voice cracked, "_I gave that to him the night I told him we should take a break… the last time we were actually happy…" _

She shook her head and looked straight ahead through the glass of her shower and to the continuous marble that ran through her bathroom. She let out a melancholy sigh and shook her head, "_I hate him…_" she muttered quietly, "I hate him for keeping doing all this…" she shook her head searching for something she couldn't find, "…_Why won't he just leave me alone?"_

At her words, Mandy failed to feel supportive. She felt like she had to dish and handful of harsh reality like a slam in the gut to the little girl she loved so much. Miley had done it to her once. Why couldn't she do it back? Why couldn't she make Miley feel as ashamed as she done a month ago when she was realising that the one person she thought she would never love again was actually the one person she couldn't stop loving. Miley had to realise the exact same thing. Miley had to learn what was wrong with the way she had double standards for her own beliefs. She thought things were so different in her world to everyone else's when in actual fact they were all the same. She was still a fool like the rest of them… punishing a person for something they've endlessly apologised for.

But Mandy's dose of harsh reality came across a little too angry for either of their liking.

_"Because he hates what he's done…"_ She shook her head ashamed as Miley looked up at her feeling a lot smaller than she usually did, "What happened to forgiving someone when they break your heart, Miley?"_" _she scoffed before she turned and left the room, slamming Miley's bedroom door behind her.

Miley watched the space that she left and the brand new magazine that lay in her spot. _Mandy didn't understand what had happened that night… she didn't understand what he did to her… the night when it really ended…_ no one except the pair of them had ever known what had happened. They kept it secret because it was so embarrassing and shameful for either of them to tell anyone. He may have been "seeing" other girls… but she could have gotten over that. It was what had happened after that which had made it all too easy to pretend that there was no 'real reason'. Their respectful different stories hadn't failed them in the last ten months and they wouldn't fail them now. It worked and that was just how she liked it.

But Miley didn't know what was happening anymore. She had Joe and she had Mandy and she knew that they would be okay once Mandy called her tomorrow. They would cry and blame their selves for being stupid. Joe would laugh at them as they cried on each other's shoulders and promised never to be mad at each other again.

But the men in her life were a different story. She had her best friends, she loved her brothers no matter how annoying they were… and she was more than sure she didn't need a boyfriend… There was only one man that she truly needed…

Miley needed her father to help her sort this out and make her feel okay again. She needed her daddy to reassure her that no one was going to judge her for this… judge her for saying all those things about Nick in her own interview that was still blowing around in the wind being used by the press. She needed to know that there was still a man she could trust in the world… The only man a girl could trust was meant to be her daddy… Miley doubted the entire species and she needed to know that her daddy was still the man she could run to when she needed to. If she couldn't run to him when she was afraid… who could she run to?

The familiar ringing tone filled her ear as she pressed her phone to her ear and for a moment she thought she'd finally got through to him…

_"Hello, this is Billy Ray… please leave a message after the tone and I'll get back to you."_

She covered her mouth for a moment, trying not to break down and waited as the tone sounded in her ear. She was desperate to talk to him, to leave him a message telling him she loved him. But there was something about the way that she hadn't spoke to him in two months… and the way that he hadn't said a word to her either that made it uncomfortable and unwanted. She was afraid… she was scared… _of her own father_…

Her body lurched. She hung up the phone.

She missed _them_.

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**A/N: So I didn't like that… but I hope you got some pleasure out of reading it. **

**There's a lot your meant to wonder about this chapter… and in about 2 chapters time you can find out. But only if I get 15 reviews… that way I know you wanna know ;) **

**Here's a little taster of the next chapter…**

**Miley… champagne… music awards… Nicholas… Billy… Mandy… and a whole lotta 'tude and stupidity ;)**

**Beth xo**

**PS. Someone save me... I keep listening to Burnin' Up.  
**


	21. I'm Going To Stop

**A/N: Allo ma petite pois. Ca va? **

**Here's chapter 21. It's so interesting that many of you came to the conclusion that Miley, Nick and alcohol instantly meant some kind of sordid activity. I'm not going to say anything except that maybe you should "Hold that thought" for now. **

**So I don't know if I told you, but I got good news: I've been accepted into university! Actually… two universities :) and I'm visiting them on Wednesday so I probably won't be able to update until late that day… but only if you guys want me too… enjoy this chapter… **

**Yet again, I'm not sure of it. I'm beginning to wonder how bipolar I can get Miley before she explodes…**

**Let us test it :)**

**Xo**

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**Chapter 21 – I'm Going to Stop Pretending That I didn't Break Your Heart**

Never in her life had she thought that alcohol was a good idea. But then again she hadn't thought that she'd be sat at one of the huge celebrity-ridden after party's for the American Music Awards on her sixteenth birthday, her father ignoring her, her ex-boyfriend staring at her and the award for best Breakthrough artist in her hand. But then again, a year ago, never in her life would she have said that her life would have turned into the huge pile of crap it was now.

_"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISS MILEY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!"_

The whole room shook with the amount of people at this party singing. It echoed off the walls as about three hundred people all packed into one huge hired out nightclub for the after party of the awards show at the same time began applauding her on this wonderful and celebratory day. Every single important and famous musician that had been at the actual awards show was currently stood around her clapping their hands to her as she blushed and pushed her hair from her eyes like an idiot. Hadn't it been enough that she'd had that stupid party at Disneyland? Now they wanted her to be on show in front of all those people she respected bragging about how she could drive now and nothing much else…

"Thanks guys" she smiled nervously as she nodded to all the people she knew that surrounded her. One by one, people she was acquainted with but didn't really know came to her and began to kiss her on the cheek wishing her their own private happy birthday. All she wanted to do was go home, eat some of the chocolate cake her mom had picked up for her earlier that day, while she turned on her TV and watched some serious Grey's Anatomy… hmm… maybe she'd crack open a carton of ice cream and gorge the whole lot just for the fun of it… it was her birthday after all… she deserved some kind of luxury on a day that was meant to be a celebration. She didn't even feel alive let alone older. She didn't want to celebrate. She just wanted to become catatonic and emotional.

"Champagne?"

Joe gave her shoulder a nudge and indicated to the nearby waitress carrying the trays of champagne flutes around above her laughed at him in disbelief and shook her head. He shrugged his shoulders at her and held a hand out for the waitress to pause as he convinced her to have just one glass. After all, the award in her hand showed the world that she deserved it. The pain in her eyes just proved to her two best friends who sat either side of her that she desperately needed it. _She just needed one night to forget everything…_

"Here…" the waitress said, "You deserve it after winning that award… I promise not to tell anyone…"

Miley shook her head, "But I'm not old enough for champagne…"

The waitress shook her head confused, a glint in her eye, "What are you talking about Champagne for Miss Miley…?" Miley screwed up her face mixed up and mirroring the same confusion in the older gal's face. She watched as a smile broke out on her face, her blond hair in her eyes as she winked,

"You're drinking apple juice…"

Miley laughed as the waitress handed Mandy and Joe their own flute of Champagne. The night was looking up.

* * *

Champagne didn't really mix to well with Miley… it made her feel dizzy and sick as she spun around on the dance floor underneath the retro disco ball, watching the rainbow shapes hitting the ceiling. Her hair was undone, untidily hanging around her shoulders as the small amount of alcohol rushed around her bloodstream. She was laughing like a maniac as nothing appeared to be humorous at all except for her sham of a life, her annoying ex boyfriend who was staring at her and her father who had spent the entire duration of the first day of her sixteenth year avoiding her like the plague and talking to anyone else he could find – including her ex-boyfriend.

"Ok Britney…" Joe mumbled as he grabbed her under the arms and held onto her, "I think you need to get some air before a camera catches on that you're wrecked and ready to wretch…"

She held onto her two best friends and giggled as they attempted to inconspicuously take her out to the roof where she could sit and sober up a little. She bounced off of them, hitting the walls and causing more trouble than she should have done. Her skin was reaching boiling point, blood rushed quicker around her body as Mandy beside her began silently planning the moment when she went back to party and kicked the ass of the waitress who gave Miley champagne. She had probably just been another kind face with bad intentions… and she was going to pay.

"We could pretend that someone slipped it to her like the Beatles pretended that someone had slipped them acid before an interview…" Joe contributed as Mandy paced the concrete of the roof trying to think of an excuse in case something bad happened. Miley was half asleep and leaning against him, limp in her form and drooling a little as she dozed in and out of sleep, "People will believe that…"

When Mandy shook her head and the door to the roof burst open, the sound echoing from downstairs and belting in his ears, Joe decided that it was best time to shut up about how Miley currently was. He kicked himself stupidly and in panic however when her father walked out from the door and stopped in shock as the door slammed shut behind him. It was too late to turn back and pretend he'd never been there now. He had to do something that wouldn't make him look like the idiot he was…

At the same time, Mandy and Joe moved closer to Miley trying to shield her from his presence, hiding away her condition.

Miley however, had every intention of letting him know how drunk she was…

"Hey Daddy!!" she smiled and she stood up knocking past her two best friends. She looked reminiscent of a rag doll as she began shuffling her feet towards him and wrapping her arms around his neck. Her weight fell onto him and he held onto her. He looked down at her through narrowed eyes, his face contorting with shame and disgust.

_Didn't he understand that most of this was his fault?_

Her best friends watched on, not knowing what to do. Their arms wrapped around each other's waists as they observed the little girl who wanted her Daddy to love her again, trying to win him with her happy charms. Joe's fingers dug into his girlfriend's skin and she squeezed his side in agreement of their fear. They didn't want to be witness to this. They didn't even want this to be something anyone could become witness to. This confrontation shouldn't have occurred until both of them, father and daughter, had wanted it to happen and not just one.

But it was as she tried to hold on and he tried to let go, pushing her away until she was stumbling back across the concrete almost falling to her knees, that both best friends _knew _that Miley's heart was only going to break more.

"Daddy…" she smiled and she pointed to the door, "I won… I won the award… did you see?"

All she wanted as his attention, for him to call her his baby girl like he used to before he would envelope her in a hug so powerful it's emotion could energise an entire neighbourhood. She wanted to wake up and to go down to her living room and sing with her dad for a few hours. She wanted to be able to start working again… to start acting again and recording the show because once they had reconciled there would be no reason for them to avoid each other anymore. She wanted family dinners around their huge dining table. She wanted the pranks and she just wanted her normal life back…

"You are a _disgrace_, child…" he said as he stepped back away from her, "You should be ashamed of yourself for letting people see you like this… you should be appalled at yourself…" he reached the door and opened it before looking at her, "_I know I am…_"

Miley stared at him with her mouth wide open. She was thirsty. She needed water. Her head was pounding and she was sure that her body was shutting down as she stared at her father. She was hearing what he said but it wasn't really sinking in. She was sure it wasn't good because her two best friends were looking at him in shock, their own apparent disgust evident on their faces. She stared at him and tried to understand what he was saying… but she couldn't… instead all she could understand was her anger in her self.

She continued to let her mind buzz in confusion until with a slam of the door, it was a mess all over again.

* * *

"Miley…"

She looked around, holding her purse and her head in her hands as she re-entered the party. Only a little while longer and her mom would come to pick her up after she'd driven home her father in his angry rage at the daughter they shared. Her mom had sent her a text minutes after Miley had wandered around the roof confused saying that she'd be back in an hour and a half to pick her up and they had some serious talking to do if she was feeling up to it. Even in her drunken state of affairs, Miley knew that meant her mom was going to yell at her and rip her a new one.

Nick looked at her with confusion in his eyes and for once she didn't care that he was standing in front of her. She rolled her eyes and shook her head at him. These confrontations were boring her now and she'd said everything she needed to say. What more could he possibly want from her? Hadn't he got the message already? She didn't give a crap about his useless apologies. He could stop trying to win her over.

"What do you want, Nick? I'm tired, I wanna go home and I'm really, really drunk…"

Joe snorted into his coke and looked around at Mandy's wide-eyed face in alarm. Dang she was being forward today.

Nick played with his collar nervously and shrugged his shoulders, "I was just wondering if you wanted to dance with me… my way of saying congratulations…" he shrugged his shoulders, "That's all I want…"

Mandy looked to Joe, Joe looked to Nick, Nick looked to Miley and Miley looked around the room as her head spun. She sighed and shook her head in disbelief, turning to thrust her purse into Mandy's hands, her body jumping into Joe in shock, "Fine… one song…" she stumbled over to him grabbing and held out her hands, "…and I'm not kissing you again…"

Nick led her out onto the dance floor with a smile as Mandy and Joe looked at each other in shock. This so wasn't a good idea… it was probably the worst idea in the world… the paparazzi were going to have a field day. Mandy shook her head, and Joe nodded agreeing with her. There was going to be some serious damage after this night and none of it made up for the good that had come of it. No American music award was worth this.

The new song started and their arms wrapped around each other, one more surely than the other… One was looking for comfort, the other looking for something to steady her so she didn't fall flat on her face.

This business was going to kill someone of them one day.

* * *

"So you're drunk, huh?"

She nodded, her head resembling that of a newborn baby as it flailed around out of control, "It's my birthday, I need to celebrate… and I don't care what anyone thinks today…"

He laughed at her as he held her closer, her body slipping, her knees buckling and her limbs losing all movement. Her head rested on his shoulders as he pushed her around the dance floor to some slow song he didn't know the name of. She was breathing steadily, almost too steadily. He looked down and her eyes were closed. Was she sleeping on him while dancing?

"Miley?"

"What?"

He smiled and shook his head, leaning to talk into her ear, "Apart from the being drunk stuff… How are you?"

"_Freakin'_ Dandy…" she groaned as she lifted her head up to look at him, "What do you care?"

He smiled at her and his stomach panged wanting to yell at her that she knew why he cared. He'd told her that he cared. He'd told her _so many _times that he cared and she'd listened and she'd argued and argued. He doubted that his attempts, his little missions to prove himself, were even beginning to break through the thick skin she was covered in. She was ignoring everything he said and it hurt to know that she didn't care how he felt. It hurt to know that nothing he had done had mattered to her and that every single thought about him had been glazed over as nothing. She had told him she hated him, but he wanted to believe that she was just talking the talk. He was sure, that after everything and no matter what he had done, that she could never even try to hate him. They'd been through too many firsts, too many experiences together for her to hate and forget him completely. She just _had _to remember.

But then again, she was wasted… who remembered anything worth remembering while they were wasted?

"I care…" he said truthfully.

But she shook her head and rose a finger to point at him (though it was completely in the wrong direction) a laugh escaping her. He smiled at her unsurely and shrugged his shoulders at her.

"If you're trying to convince me of your sincerity _Nicky J_, you can think again…" she lifted her hands to his shoulders and shoved him a little bit so that he shifted from her for a moment before returning. Her eyes were hazing and angry as she continued to shake her unstable head at him, "I'm still pissed at you…"

He smiled and shrugged his shoulders. He was humouring her, "For what reason this time?"

She jabbed him in the shoulder, "You gave that stupid interview to Seventeen and now I've got cameras and middle aged creepy men asking me all kinds of disgustingly crude questions about what our relationship consisted of!"

"So have I…" he said moving closer to her and whispering in her ear, "But I don't care… I'm going to stop pretending that I didn't break your heart Miley… it's the least you deserve after everything I did… I was just answering the questions…"

Miley's body continued to sober up by the minute. Her body was tired, but it was no where as exhausted as her brain. She was flooded with more thoughts, more worries of which she wanted to escape from. Even in her half-drunken state she knew that continuing to keep talking to him about the same thing over and over again was just wasting the time that she should have been saving to worry about the more important things in her life… like her father and her career… Nick didn't matter. He didn't come before her father.

She shook her head and she'd never been this exhausted and prayed to god that she would never have to be again. Her eyes fluttered closed and she lowered her arms from around him holding onto his forearms as she stared him down.

"I don't believe you…" she sighed, "I _can't_ believe you…"

He tightened his grip on her arm and tugged her closer to him. For a second she was sure he was going to kiss her, and for a drunken minute she was sure that she probably would have kissed him back out of pure inability to control herself in this state. Chastising and saving herself from certain self-deprecation, she took a step back away from him and shook her head. He only leant closer…

"If you think I'm doing all this for my own benefit…" he looked around at the people looking at them and tried his best to pretend that they weren't even there, "You're wrong…" He sighed and shook his head, "I'm doing this because I want to prove myself to you and because I _would like_ for you to care about me again when I care so damn much about you…"

She scoffed and stumbled away. She failed to find her feet for a moment and played it off as a trip of her large ridiculous shoes. She remained still for a moment, trying not to make a complete fool of herself as she shook her head at him, a smirk on her face. Her eyes were sad as part of her wanted to believe what he was saying. But so many parts of her were saying the same things to her and she was more than sure that she was still doing the right thing. He had a lot to learn about what it was like to be a human being… what it was like to be a good person.

"I'm sorry, Nick…" she gave a shake of her head as Mandy and Joe approached, "I _can't_ care about you…" she paused and watched as his eyes saddened, her voice cracking as he did so. How could he be making this so hard? "Because all you care about is yourself…"

He watched as she turned to find her mother's stern and angered gaze, her sister dressed in her jammies and her best friend who soon had her under the arms helping her to walk. She wasn't the same Miley she used to be and he was noticing it more each and every time he saw her. She wasn't as fun as she used to be… not as… Miley…

"Dude…" Joe said as he walked towards him looking back at his best friend and his girlfriend.

"What?" Nick muttered watching after one of them.

Joe smiled and patted him on the back. He stunk of Champagne too, only he could hold it better. He snorted and wrapped his arm around his shoulders, "Even when she's drunk she's smarter than you…"

Nick stared at him and shook his head. He narrowed his eyes. He slipped his hands into his pockets as his brain worked overtime. He was going to fix this… he _was _going to fix it.

All he had to do was figure out how…

**

* * *

A/N: yeah… I didn't like it… I'm over it…**

**But I love the next chapter because it pretty much explains the larger part of everything that happened to them previously and what NJ did for Miley to be such a badass. It's a long chapter too… like… 7000 words… but it's got to be one pretty darn amazing chapter if I don't say so myself. **

**Love you all **

**B xo**

**PS. Here's a little break-down:**

**Chapter 22 - Miley gets a slap in the face of realisation... _real _realisation. **

**Chapter 24 - She gets even more of a slap from the last person she wants to get a slap in the face of realisation from ;)**

**Chapter 25 - The whole story will take a completely different twist that will last a larger part of the story. I don't know how long this story is going to last... I hope you like long ones... hehe  
**


	22. That Day & Meant To Be

**A/N: ****I couldn't wait any longer to update this chapter, purely because I think it's my favourite FF chapter I've ever written… well… maybe not… **

**This chapter will pretty much explain why Miley hates him so much and why Nick hates himself. It is SUPER long… so I wouldn't read this in a rush if I were you. There's a lot to take in. **

**PS. If you have it, I also recommend listening to Taking Back Sunday's "New American Classic" when you read this, because that's how I wrote this chapter – with that song on repeat. Itunes tells me that I've listened to it about 78 times now. **

**Disclaimer: I know nothing… I own nothing…**

**xo**

**

* * *

Chapter 22 – That Day Meant To Be**

_**That Day … January 8**__**th**__**, 2008…**_

_She hated the nights on the tour bus when it would rain and the only thing she could do was sit in her room and do nothing but wonder about what the hell was going on with her life. Seventy or so sold out dates and she didn't know where the hell she was… last time she had checked it had been New Year's Eve, she was on Rockin' Eve and she was chronically trying to ignore her maybe-maybe-not boyfriend and his strange way of acting around her now that they were "on a break". She could remember the desperation to have fun and to try and forget the fact that Nick wasn't even talking to her. His brothers were talking to her. They were always laughing and joking with her. Joe was always trying to goof around with her and making up stupid little raps about the things she did and how she walked around backstage of their concerts. They'd spent the whole time talking and joking at Rockin' Eve while Mandy was ringing in the New Year with her parents in Phoenix, as Joe planned to ask her to be his girlfriend just like the rumours had been telling them. _

_But now, after the week they'd had and his sudden change of heart towards her best friend, she hadn't been talking to Joe as much. He was constantly with Nick… and that was exactly where she was unable to be at this difficult time. Being near to Nick while they were meant to be "on a break" was difficult. It was like she was fighting her natural instincts not to go up to him and hug him hello like she usually did. He'd barely even looked at her; he'd barely said two words to her apart from hello when they passed each other uncomfortably in the hallways. It had been like they were two strangers, forced to say hello to each other for the sake of being polite. It was like they knew nothing of each other, just how each other would walk along the hallway or the way they would smile and say hello. _

_She received less text messages, less phone calls and she couldn't think of anyone else who she could send stupid emails to anymore. She had all these ridiculous pictures hidden away in a folder that she'd taken throughout their week apart. With each stupid face or silly set-up, she'd failed to remember that she couldn't send them to him like she usually would. With each attempted composition of a humorously worded email ending with the usual profession and reminder of love, she felt her happiness decrease piece by piece. Her heart deflated in her chest and she didn't know what she was doing with each remembrance of the words they had exchanged a week ago. _

_Breaks didn't work like she had thought they would do… it was killing her. _

_The past few months had been horrible with his distance from her and their silly childish arguments. They had all been stressed and she should have realised that… she should have done more to make him feel less like the pressure was piling onto him. She should have been easier on him and helped him to relax. She shouldn't have plied him with questions all the time. She should have calmed her ass down and made him join her in doing so. They should have been cooler with each other and not so full on. They had spent three months with each other, everyday seeing each other. It was hard work compared to the two years they had shared fighting for the time to see each other because of their busy schedules. It was a lot more like a real relationship than it was fun when they were almost living together. They saw new things in each other and they realised little truths about each other that they hadn't recognised before. It was a huge wake up call. _

_But it was no where near a huge a wake up call as the past week. Miley missed Nick and she couldn't help but want to cry when she thought about not being with him all these days without telling him a stupid story or giving him a huge hug. She missed his dark curly hair and how if felt when she ruffled it beneath her fingers. She missed the way he would look at her with those deep dark eyes and that sultry stare. She missed the scent of him as he came close to her and told her that he loved her. Everything he did was music to her ears… and for days her life had been silent. _

_She sighed, turning to her nightstand that was nailed to the wall of the tour bus and grabbed her buzzing cell phone in her hand bringing it to her face, her eyes failing to recognise the name of the person on the ID. Who the heck could possibly be sending her text messages at this hour? She hadn't received a text message this late at night since the 'break' began. She had been so used to Nick's late night goodnight text messages that over the days she'd taught herself not to expect them. Now, she was getting excited and scared all at once to see who this text message was from, and what it could possibly be about. _

**FROM: JENNA**

**I know this is out of the blue and I know that we don't really know each other. You probably don't remember me but I'm a friend of Kevin J's. I was out with them a few nights ago and I think it's unfair if you don't know. The boys had a party on their bus in Jersey with some old friends and I caught Nick kissing these girls from my school. I'm sorry Miley but I thought you should know. If you ever need someone to talk to, send me a text. Take Care, Jenna x**

_Miley looked at the message and sat up quickly with a choked laugh. She could not believe the words that were written before her, potentially ruining everything that she had come to know in the past two years of her life. She wasn't sure what she was worried about, the fact that Nick had kissed someone other than her after two years, or the fact that she was hearing it from an almost complete stranger rather from his own mouth. She didn't know if she was angry because he'd been leading her on or because of the fact that his act of kissing someone else wasn't in fact singled out to one person but instead was plural. He had kissed more than one person, more than one person that wasn't her, like it was nothing. _

_She knew Nick… a kiss wasn't nothing… it was everything to him. _

_She fumed and she gasped out another laugh. _

_So this was what it felt like to be the betrayed girlfriend… this was what it felt like to be used and mistreated by a male. He was the only boyfriend she'd ever properly had and he had set the disgusting standards for all of the rest that would follow after him. He was the one that she thought would show her the world, the one that she would be with forever. He __**was**__ meant to be the one she was meant to be with forever… she was sure of it… she'd been sure of it for two years. He'd been with her through everything… he'd saved her life… he'd changed her life… he made her human in this stupid blown up fame she was rolling with. He was the traditional boy with good morals… he was __**perfect**__…_

_Her phone buzzed again and she sighed. __**What now?**__ Had he made out with another set of young women at a different party? What could possibly get worse than this…? What could be more worse than a person she hardly knew who she had given her number to when Kevin had lost his cell phone telling her how her boyfriend (maybe) was a complete IDIOT!?_

**FROM: Nick J is off the chain**

**Hey Smiley Miley it's me. At the next smokers stop for the drivers, can you meet me outside at the gas station instead of staying asleep like we usually do? I need to talk to you… Nick x**

_A part of her wanted to send him a message back telling him where he could shove his talking but then suddenly she realised that she shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. Just because Jenna was one of the boys friends didn't mean she was instantly void of being one of those weird creepy fans that stalked them and acted like they were gods. They weren't gods. They were just plain teenage boys who goofed around and acted dumb at every opportunity. Jenna could have been one of those crazy fans that thought the boys would marry them one day and would do everything in their power to make sure that every relationship they were in was destroyed. Miley had seen so many of those types of girls on this tour. Part of her expected them all to look the same, but part of her expected them to have evolved into something that she could not put her finger on. In this business anyone she met could have been out to destroy everything she had. She could hardly tell friend from foe. _

_She didn't send him a text back… she just waited patiently for him to exit his tour bus and wait for her as he talked to the group of a dozen or so drivers who all took their usual twenty minute smoking or snack break at a nearby gas station. She watched him for a few minutes before grabbing her coat and tugging on her Chucks like slippers, the laces hanging undone as she tried to look as though she'd been sleeping instead of staying awake until 2am thinking of him. _

_"What is it, Nick?" she asked trying to sound as pissed as possible to start the guilt flowing within him from the get go. She couldn't help but look at him and let her heart leap in her chest however. He looked as gorgeous as ever in his coat, sweat pants and stupid Elvis Costello t-shirt she'd always teased him about. His hair was messy and it was flung in front of his eyes in the sexiest way possible with the least amount of effort. His hands wrung in his pockets and he looked as nervous as ever. This was obviously a very serious subject he needed to talk about otherwise he wouldn't have looked so uncomfortable. _

_"Are you okay?" he asked quickly stepping forward and talking directly to her as his hand pulled to drag her around the back of one of the trucks that carried the set for the show._

_She stumbled as they came to a halt, hidden from view in the shadow of the truck. She held onto him to steady herself and nodded her head, "I'm __**fine**__ Nick… what did you want to talk about?"_

_He shrugged and put his hands into his pockets. He rubbed his nose with his hand and shook his head, his eyes unable to look at her. From that second, she knew… she just knew that what Jenna had said was true. But as her heart slowly began to break piece by piece, she gained a thirst for the truth. _

_Why would he do something like this to her?_

_"I… you know… we haven't talked all week and I figured if we didn't talk now… we wouldn't talk for a really long time…" he shrugged and hunched his shoulders nervously. He was mumbling and it made her feel disgusted, "I mean… what's happened with you this week? Anything knew?" _

_She shook her head and felt the need to be a bitch. He'd treated her terribly and she was sure of it. _

_"You know… the usual…" she folded her arms and set her face to be pissed off. Her struggling, emotion-filled voice seemed to fail her however and her worry over-whelmed her, "Doing a country-wide tour… exhaustion… school… getting text messages from random people telling me that you've been kissing other girls…"_

_A false laugh escaped her. _

_He sighed and closed his eyes in defeat. A lump rose in her throat as she soon realised that he wasn't even going to try and convince her that they had been lying. He wasn't even going to try and act like it was nothing, a stupid mistake or a piece of fun. He wasn't going to try and act cool like it was nothing that she should worry about. He wasn't going to pretend like he wasn't shattering the whole world around her. It was just another of those things to him… another of those things that he'd been caught out on. It was just more things that made him seem more human, less godlike and like an actual male. It was a way out of hiding for him. It was a way to make everyone, other than her, happy. _

_But for her it was another batch of things for her to pretend wasn't happening in front of the hundreds of cameras that were often pointed at her face. This was another reason for her to put on a fake smile and make everyone guess. It was just another reason for her to have to make up lies. _

_"I was gonna tell you, Miles…" _

_"Whatever…" she whispered looking away from him. Her eyes were filling with tears and it felt like she was going to explode with emotion at any second. Her world was crashing down around her and she wasn't thinking about the present, just about the future. All she'd thought about uncontrollably for the past two year was him. He had been her twenty-four-seven for the past __**two**__ years. He'd been her rock through it all… he'd seen the highs and the lows, the peaks and quarries of her career and he'd held her hand through everything. He'd saved her from the moments when she thought she couldn't do it anymore and she'd come through on the other side with an ever bigger smile on her face knowing that he would always be there to pick her up… but now she knew that she wouldn't have that saviour, that protection anymore… because he was giving up just as it was getting too much. _

_Now, as she stood soaked in the pouring rain, forcing the tears not to tumble down her cheeks, only one thought flowed to edges of her brain and back again, and it was so simple that just to ponder on it caused her entire being to ache and hurt with unbearable pain_.

_**What was she going to do?**_

_What would she do when she was lost? Who would hold her when she was sad? Who would make her laugh? Who would make her cry? Who would she tell her deepest darkest secrets to when she felt that there was no one she could trust enough to keep them anymore? Who could she trust __**now**__? How would she see Joe and Kevin… and Frankie and the whole entire other family she'd adopted in the two years that they had been together? Who was going to be on her side? How would she get over this? How could she even try? There had been no one who had ever loved her in the way that he had… _

_**What was she going to do?**_

"_It just happened…" he said pathetically, his hands slumping into his pockets as the rain fell to the floor around them hitting the puddles and splashing up their legs, "One minute we were talking and the next thing we were kissing and…I don't know what happened, Miles… it just did… I couldn't help it…" _

_She shook her head and turned her eyes to glance at him coldly, "It's not like it happened once, Nick… you kissed more than one girl! It was plural! You kissed more than one __**stupid**__ girl that just so happened to be there…" she gasped out an almost silent cry and shook her head, the shock suddenly getting to her, "I don't know who you are anymore!" _

_He laughed slightly and shrugged, "I don't know who you are anymore…" _

_She smiled tearfully and the first tear fell. Her mouth fell open in quiet shock. If she hadn't of been betrayed enough already… now there was this… now she was betraying herself by letting this bother her. She was making herself look stupid in front of him. She was acting like almost her entire being had been stupid enough to think that boys didn't do things like this and betray the people they supposedly loved. She was being naïve. She was letting him see how much he meant to her. He didn't deserve it. _

_"I may have changed, Nick… but I call it growing up…" she whispered breathlessly, "At least I'm still loyal and truthful and I don't treat the people I love like… __**shit**__…" _

_The words she spoke were blows to his gut, worse than punches to his face and he shook his head astounded and speechless. How did he explain himself to her? Did he even have to? Why did he have to?_

_"It just… happened…"_

_It was his only excuse. He couldn't even think of anything else to say… and he didn't know if it would be right to if he did. He had made things this bad already. He didn't want to make it any worse. _

_She rounded on him stepping closer until he saw the tears that glistened in her eyes to cushion the blow that he had delivered to shamelessly to her. It was like they had been placed there by some cosmic source to soften the blow of everything he was throwing at her like she didn't matter, and making them both better. They were there to protect her and to make her not have to deal with everything right away. They were clouding her reality and he knew that this was all going to hit her twice as hard in the morning… this was going to __**hurt**__ her twice as hard in the morning… like an ache in the gut. _

_"You say it just happened, Nick, but things like THIS don't happen to you… to __**US!!**__" she was becoming hysterical and the tears streamed down her cheeks in rivers. _

_Purely out of habit, all he wanted to do was rub them away with the pads of his thumbs and hush her like a baby until everything was okay again. But there was no way that he could do that. There was no way he could make everything better for her without making things worse for him. He couldn't carry on with this anymore… he had to go… he couldn't pretend anymore. He had to move on and do some growing of his own. He had to experience things that he had never had before. He had to see the world and meet new people. He couldn't just keep loving her and riding on her coat tails like they had been since the moment they had met her. She wasn't enough anymore…_

"_Things like this used to MEAN SOMETHING TO YOU…" she continued and her fists pounded on his chest until he flinched with the ache she inflicted, "Why do they suddenly not matter anymore…?! Why are you throwing the things you cared about away…?!" _

_"I don't know…" _

_"THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH!" she shrieked and he clutched at her elbows to calm her down, "You can't keep saying that like it's supposed to mean something!!" Another pound of her fist fell to his shoulders and he continued to stop her, trying to hold her, trying to make all of this go away, "It means nothing other than the fact that you're an IDIOT! You're a FOOL!" _

_She pulled away from him finally as her sobs erupted from her taking over for a few brief moments that felt like hours._

"_I feel like I mean __**nothing**__ to you… I feel like you've… you've used me…" she flinched. Her breath caught in her throat and it felt like she was going to die. A feeling of nausea fell to the bottom of her stomach and her hands began to shake uncontrollably like they would never ever stop. She couldn't understand, she couldn't comprehend… all she could do was scream every thought that formed in a lump at the back of her throat and mix it with each emotion that brewed in the pits of her stomach. _

_She shook her head and shrugged her shoulders cowering away from him almost afraid, "Did… Did you ever cheat on me?" she asked shaking her head curiously, "While we together…. Did you ever cheat on me?"_

_He sighed and shook his head hopelessly, "__**No**__…" he breathed, "of course not…" _

_She bit her lip as it quivered and stepped away again, "Did you ever want to?" _

_She waited, but he stayed silent. He formed no words and no actions and just stared at her guiltily like the pathetic child that he was. He just stood there and hunched himself into a guilty ball of avoidance. He was going to give her no explanations, only idiotic replies to each question she asked. She would probably never know the real reason why he was acting this way. Nothing he said was truly ever in-depth unless he was singing it. If he was singing, he was always to the point. He did not beat around the bush. _

_She gasped and a sob escaped her from the pit of her stomach. _

_"With Selena?" She sobbed, her words coming out like groans as she clutched at her chest gasping for that much needed breath. _

_He shook his head confused, "What?" _

_"Selena! Was it Selena? Was it her that you wanted to be with when you were with me?"_

_"__**What?!**__" he shook his head. _

_"JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION!" she gasped stepping back away from him. _

_He shook his head, shocked at the way she was reacting. He thought she would have been calmer than this, that she would have wanted to kick his ass and make a fool of him rather than acting like this… hysterical, heart-broken and hurt. _

_"No… Miley… of course not…" _

_The lies and the guilt made him feel sick as he saw her sad eyes and the way that her bottom lip quivered as she fought not to cry out in desperation and betrayal. The shame washed over him and he didn't know how it had ever come to this… how he had ever got to the point where he was admitting to all these secrets he had never told her and still keeping things from her, while she had told him every single one of her own. He had betrayed her, he had betrayed himself and he had done it all out of fear. What a 'man' he really was… _

_"Do you love me…?"_

_His heart dropped and he stared at her helplessly. What did he say to that? Did he lie? Did he tell the truth? There were so many different ways he could have reacted to that sentence. There were so many different answers to what she was asking him. There were so many different truths and so many different lies. He could ask her why she would ask such a ridiculously potentially hurtful and stupid question. He could laugh at her and tell her that she was stupid and silly… of course he loved her… he always had and always probably would love her; she was one of those people who'd be in his life forever. He could have avoided the subject and talked to her about something completely different, hoping that she would graciously accept that he wanted to avoid the subject… or he could tell the truth… the real truth… the one he had been trying to avoid for weeks…_

_Nick looked at her, and forced his eyes not to well with his own fearful tears. He shook his head and buried his hands deeper into his pockets nervously, guiltily and ashamedly. He had never ever done anything like this before… he had never ever wanted to. He had pulled hair and punched girls in the arms… He had never done something like this to show a girl how his affections had changed… not in his entire life. He didn't know if he was doing anything right or wrong… so he just did it. _

"_I used to…" he whispered and shook his head, "I don't think I do anymore…"_

_He looked at her and he saw every single little emotion that covered her face that she felt in those next few seconds. He saw everything, and for those few moments, he fully realised how every single part of her face was simply and completely beautiful. It was like he was seeing her for the first time all over again and he swallowed a ball of emotion that rose in his throat. It was obscene how beautiful she was… how ridiculously, incandescently beautiful… and for a moment, he had second thoughts about everything. _

_He watched, in awe, as her eyes widened until it seemed impossible that they would ever close again. He watched as the shock overwhelmed her and she hit the back of the truck with a thump, her fingers clutching at the cold wet metal, trying to hold onto the last piece of control she had left. Her jaw dropped slightly and he watched her lips part as it did so. She stared beyond him, beyond reality itself as she fought to process all these words that were being drummed into her. The red that had flushed to her cheeks when she had been yelling at him was suddenly non-existent and she was white and deathly. Her eyes continued to dart a little, almost shaking as she tried to figure out where she could look that wouldn't make her burst into tears. She most definitely would not look at him. She never wanted to look at him again. He would remind her of so many feelings that she was now going to be forced to hide and tumble over like they were nothing. He thought he was changing her life for the better… she was __**sure**__ he was ruining it. _

_"Miley… I'm sorry…" _

_She shook her head and stared at nothing, her tears subsiding, her anger disappearing. She felt nothing… no pain… no sadness, no anger…__**nothing**__. It was the worst kind of feeling. It was the worse kind of anything. _

_"I feel like I should explain…" _

_She shook her head and Nick saw as her bottom lip quivered gently threatening to break the calm that she was suddenly feeling. _

"_Don't… say…__**anything**__…" Her voice was breathless and emotionless. She shook her head and rubbed her top lip against the bottom to stop that stupid quiver that seemed to want to ruin everything. She was lost in her motions, her thoughts and in every way possible. She was barely able to think, barely able to stand… barely able to breathe... and it was all because of him. _

_She was glad when her driver asked her to return to the bus as they were ready to leave. She nodded her head and pushed herself up gently from against the side of the bus, her legs shaking beneath her, quivering in the wake of the words he had spoken to her. She said nothing and began to walk across the expanse of dark concrete over to her bus that led the great train of vehicles. She didn't look back like she normally would have done, she didn't even think about looking back. She just continued walking away until she reached the foot of the stairs of the bus, before she heard him call her name. _

_When she looked back in his direction, avoiding his eyes and everything in them, his hands were still in his pockets and he looked wrapped in his guilt and his shame. His cheeks glistened and she wasn't sure if it was the heavy pouring rain or his own emotion that made them appear that way. She listened to the crashes and bangs of the thunder and the electrifying hits of Lightning that sounded around them. _

_"I'm sorry…" he called to her his shoulders hunching with his words, "I never meant to hurt you…" _

_She shook her head at him and shrugged her shoulders, "Then why did you?"_

_~x~  
_

_It wasn't until the doors to her bus had closed behind her and her driver had pulled away from the garage that she suddenly realised that the words he had spoke to her were buzzing in her ears. She could hear them over and over again until they became the complete opposite of the beautiful music that usually left his lips. It was the most surreal and painful feeling she had ever felt in her life. _

_"Baby, what are you doing?" her mother whispered to her exhausted, her hair in disarray and her gown wrapped around her tight. _

_She watched Miley for a moment as she stood in the tiny kitchen of their bus, the faucet running as fast as it could, blocking out any other sound that may have been heard as the water drummed against the metal. She was confused and scared by the entire disposition of her daughter. In the hours she had been sleeping, her daughter seemed to have completely changed. She had seen it happening slowly over the last few days and assumed it had just been fatigue and exhaustion. But now, it was like they had hit a wall… everything had sped up and jolted to a halt as her daughter looked completely different altogether. _

_Miley's face was covered in the dried tracks of tears that had been and gone, but were obviously not far away as she stood silently looking into the reflection of the dark blacked out window. She was empty. She was hollow. Her bright blue eyes weren't blue anymore. They were dark. They were cold. They were no longer hers. She had put herself on self-destruct. She knew it. She didn't care. _

_She paused and her lip trembled for a moment. _

_"I want to dye my hair…" she whispered breathlessly to no one in particular before she paused, stopping that emotion again, "I want it to go away… I want to forget…" _

**

* * *

Meant to Be**

Her eyes blinked open from her dream as her head pounded with the effects of the alcohol. She wanted to vomit… she was desperate to vomit… Her body ached and her mind shook from the alcohol and from her reminiscent dream. She wasn't sure which was making her feel what way… she'd been through this so many times before without the added alcohol. For so many months she'd had the same dream over and over again… the same dream where he would tell her the 'truth' that now plagued her mind and decided every decision she made about him. It was pretty much his fault that she treated him this way. If he hadn't of broken her trust, his promises and her heart maybe she would have been able to give him a second chance… maybe she would have been able to overlook everything he'd done and love him again. Maybe if he hadn't broken her soul she would have never started having the one dream that broke her heart each and every time. The first few times she'd woke up crying praying to God that it wasn't true. The few times after that she just woke up panicked and confused, praying to God that it was not real. For months after that, she simply got used to it. She had sighed and opened her eyes and in her gut she had known that the dream was real. Her heart was not fixed. Lately, when she'd had the dream, she had hoped with all her might that it was true. Because even in her subconscious, she knew that it was him that had broken her. She didn't want him back.

From where she lay on her side, her eyes flickered with the confused sensation of the tears that were rolling down her cheeks. The burning warmth of the emotion in her cheeks kept her mind from the pounding ache in her head. What was wrong with her? Why did she have the one nagging thought and the forefront of her mind? Was this what alcohol could do to her? Because if it was… she didn't want any alcohol ever again…

She rolled onto her back and felt the pressure in her head release a little. The tears, however, silently increased, rolling down the curves of her cheeks, behind her ears and onto the pillow beneath her resting mind. What was _wrong _with her?

She attempted to be rid of them, softly shaking her head and blinking her eyes, catching the sight of her sleeping best friend next to her… her other best friend and Mandy's beloved sleeping peaceful on his front on the floor beside her.

_"Mandy…" _she whispered sniffing away the tears and resting a hand on the top of her bare arm to grab her sleeping attention, "_Schmands?"_

The soft exhale of air and the grumble of her best friend's throat alerted her that she was half-awake. Miley smiled slightly in relief. She didn't want to keep these thoughts to herself. "What's wrong, Miles?" she yawned rolling onto her back from her side a little, "Go back to sleep…"

_"I had a bad dream…" _Miley whispered looking over at Joe, noticing that his hand was reaching up to Mandy in the bed, their fingers entwined together lazily, but still not letting go.

"Here…" Mandy said holding out her other hand to Miley and inviting her to take it. Purely out of habit, Miley did so, feeling instantly loved and cared for… but not in the least okay. "Go back to sleep…"

Miley nodded and shifted into the sheets, "Can I ask you a question first?" She muttered, "Just one quick question…"

Mandy took a deep breath and squeezed Miley's hand for a second. Even in her half sleep, Miley was sure that Mandy could still tell that she was worrying and that she was thinking. She was her _best _friend. Of course, she knew everything without having to be told… just like her boyfriend. They were the best friends in the world purely because they didn't make her talk about anything that she should have talked about. They knew everything already.

The simple reminder brought more tears to Miley's eyes.

She took a deep breath and shifted closer to Mandy, needing to feel the comfort of someone else's body heat. It was so long since anyone had held her… not given her a hug, but _really _held her. She couldn't even remember what it felt like… but then again, she couldn't remember what many things felt like anymore… especially the good things. All she could remember was the pain and the suffering. She remembered what it felt like to cry and what it felt like to be broken in two. She couldn't remember what it felt like to be loved unconditionally anymore. She was desperate to believe that real love still existed…

"Do-Do you think…" she moved her head to rest on Mandy's pillow, "…that some people are meant for each other…?" she gulped away her emotion, closing her eyes and concentrating hard on being strong, "Do you think that there is some alternate source other than us that pairs people together and decides whether they love each other? Do you believe that we're all put here to find that one person that makes everything in the world better?"

Mandy took in a deep breath and her hand tightened around Miley's again, only this time it didn't relinquish itself. She kept on squeezing. She kept on letting her know that she was still there…

"Of course I believe that…" she muttered her breathing steady, her body almost back into it's peaceful rest, "How else could Joe have come back to me after all that time of me believing that he didn't love me? Why else didn't I fall in love with someone else in that time? It's all part of the big plan, Miles… there's one person we're all meant to really fall in love with… you just have to keep on hoping and praying that they'll come for you…" she yawned snuggling into her pillow and sighing contentedly, "Why do you ask?"

Miley removed herself from Mandy's grasp and moved back to her own side of the bed. She held her breath as she tugged one of her pillows from beneath her head and hugged in closely to her chest, covering her mouth. She muffled her sobs as they seemed to endlessly release onto her pillow. Her eyes wet with tears that quickly moistened the cotton beneath her face.

She shook her head. She felt ashamed. She closed her eyes. She saw his face. Her mind flickered to everything good for a single moment and it made her head spin as she was suddenly aware that her best friend was still waiting for her answer. Should she have told the truth? Was she sure of herself? Did she believe in herself? Did she agree Mandy? Did she believe in _him_?

_She didn't know… _

She emerged from behind the pillow and gulped away her sobs as she looked over at her best friend. She watched her, laying there peacefully, holding the hand of the boy she was in love with… the one she would be in love with forever. And for the first time… she felt a pang of jealousy. She opened her eyes and she'd never felt more awake. She shook her head and attempted not to cry again. A sad smile overcame her and she let out a sigh of disbelief.

_"Because I believe it too…"_

**

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A/N: Feedback?**

**I hope with all my heart that you guys liked that. **

***hopes* please like it :)**

**Love B xo**


	23. Lost Cause

**A/N: Sorry once again for my lateness. I'll try to update often as possible cosidering my circumstances of trying to pass my exams. **

**Hope you guys enjoy x

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**Chapter 23 - Lost Cause **

_The Disney Channel_

_Requests your Presence at it's_

_First Annual Christmas Ice Ball_

_At 7pm on December 1__st__, 2008_

_Sleeping Beauty's Castle, Disneyland,_

_Anaheim California_

He looked down at the invitation with a sigh and a shake of his head. An annual Christmas ball was something that he hadn't expected from them. He'd expected necessary kindness and maybe forcing them to all like each other again… but he'd never expected them to flaunt it in front of a few dozen paparazzi how awkward their world was at the moment. He'd never expected them to get press coverage from the fact that there machine wasn't as well oiled as they liked everyone to believe that it was. He could imagine what this night was going to be like already.

Demi would be there and she would be fine with everyone… all the people from the shows Nick didn't know would be friends with her and they would all be laughing and joking because that was the way that Demi was. She was friends with everyone… she always tried to make everyone okay with each other. Emily and Mitchell would be there and they would be pretending that they weren't totally into each other and would probably spend the whole night talking to each other and Miley. Jason would be there with his wife and everyone would still be as confused as ever about how old he _actually _was. All the younger kids would be fooling around… Dylan and Cole would be pulling pranks only for David to get mad and nearly kick their asses. Kevin would be there with Danielle… Joe would be there with Mandy… Lena would have every single camera in the place on her as she spent the night dancing away with Justin… and Miley would be there and she would ignore the new couple like she was meant to. Then she would see him across the room and she would ignore him and his whole world, that from that moment would be fragmented… just as it should have been…

"There's something different about you lately…"

Nick turned around and smiled at his brother. Joe was as handsomely dressed as ever in a grey tuxedo, crisp and clean cut. He smelt disgustingly perfect, shaven and without a hair out of place. His arms were folded and Nick knew he would regret it as his suit would only become crumpled. At the moment he didn't seem to care and Nick didn't want to make a point. He was just pleased that his brother was being kind to him again, not just civil, but kind. They were talking, but not as much as they used to. They were laughing together and he was able to be in the same room without being disgusted. Out of all of his efforts to be a good person again, Joe was his biggest success. He'd told the truth and he'd still held onto his brother… his best friend.

"I have new deodorant…" Nick shrugged, "Mom couldn't find my other one in the store so -"

"I'm not talking about your deodorant, Nick…" Joe laughed and he moved closer to him, staring at him carefully in confusion. Something was entirely different, but completely welcome. Joe hadn't been able to put his finger on it for weeks but it had always been there. He hadn't been able to put his finger on it since they'd come back from London. There was something wrong… or right… with his younger brother.

"Then what?"

Joe shook his head, "You seem… better…" he nodded, "Focussed…"

Nick twitched his brow as he nodded, turning to grab cufflinks from his dresser, "You could say that…"

Joe smiled and stepped forward again, closer so he could talk softly and not let anyone hear, "Why do you keep sending packages to Miley? I found the delivery notices."

Nick lifted his head and took a deep breath. He closed his eyes and shook his head. When had the time come that he couldn't put anything past Joe? He used to be able to do anything and Joe would never ever know about it. How had everything changed? Why was everything feeling so much better? He had good feelings about tonight…

"It was… just some stuff I thought she might like…" Nick smiled, "Nothing important…"

Joe let out a chuckle before stopping himself, "So important that you thought she might have liked it express delivered to her hotel room in London?"

Nick blushed and shook his head, grabbing his navy blue tie and throwing it around his neck expertly, not even looking as he began to fasten it up to his collar, "What's your point here, Joseph?"

Joe moved swiftly over to Nick's bed and sat down gently on his dark blue sheets, "Why are you doing all these things for Miley?" he asked quietly with care for both involved, "Why do you care so much when she's as good as slapped it in your face that she's never going to give you another chance?" He shrugged, "I honestly don't see the point in you wasting your time, Nick?"

It was the content smile that spread across Nick's face that brought upon the moment in which Joe realised he had his old brother back. It was sparkle in his eyes and the gaze he settled on no where in particular in the material world that told Joe that the world in Nick's mind was the only one he was living in for the moment. The blush in his cheeks and the familiar peaking of the beaded bracelet under his sleeve that told him the only thing to know: His brother had returned and he had realised the one thing he needed to know. His baby brother had finally grown into a man.

Joe grinned and giggled in realisation, "You really _are _still in love with her, aren't you?"

Nick's chest puffed out as he took in a deep calming breath. It hurt him to know that no one believed him that he loved someone, and that he could lie about such a thing as deep and serious to him. However, the feeling that one person _actually _believed him overcame all of his anger, and he nodded slowly and surely until Joe's face softened.

"_Really?"_ Joe whispered.

Nick nodded again and he thought of how much Joe cared about her and about how close they were. He wondered how much they told each other and if he would tell her this. He wondered if his feelings would become a joke and that he would be laughed at for weeks for caring about her. He didn't want the hardest feeling he'd ever felt, the worst and best in the world, to become the butt of tasteless jokes by his brother. He didn't want her to laugh at him.

"Are you gonna tell her?" he mumbled his fingers pausing at the knot around his neck, his arms suddenly dropping in realisation to his sides.

He was relieved when Joe shook his head, "No… it's not fair to force her to realise something that she has to realise on her own."

Nick's eyes glistened appreciatively and he moved to sit beside Joe on his bed. Joe slapped a hand onto his brother's knee forcing him to look around at him. He smiled supportively and Nick felt saddened emotion run through him mixed with shame and at the same time some endless hope that he was unable to seem to rid his mind of.

"We're a real pair aren't we…?" he mumbled shaking his head, "We always have to screw everything up before we can really fall in love… don't we?"

Joe wrapped his arm around his brother's shoulder and squeezed them gently, "Well if Miley's anything like her best friend… she realise sooner or later…"

Nick nodded, "I hope so…" he smiled sadly and for the first time ever, Joe's heart ached for his brother, "I just want her back in my life, Joe…" Joe watched as his brother's face changed. Each part mixing with the emotion of the words he'd been desperate to say to someone since he'd realised them himself. Nick gulped and his face hardened trying not to crack completely, "_I miss her…"

* * *

_

Miley was stood in her pretty dress, with her pretty hair and her perfect make-up. Every part of her appearance was what it should have been - perfect… even down to the fake smile she plastered on her face.

She didn't feel perfect. She felt confused. She had no idea what was going on with her lately. She had no idea what was going on with anyone really…

Her mind switched from constantly thinking about why her father hated her to constantly thinking about why he wouldn't leave her alone and why she was slowly loosing the ability to care and was in fact beginning to embrace it. She would lay awake in bed at night wondering why men were only there in her life to make her confused and bring her pain. Most of the men she met only broke her heart. Even the ones who were meant to love her unconditionally, hated her guts and left her aching.

Pretty much everyone who she came in contact with recently had lied to her. There had been Justin who had lead her to believe that he'd been a broken hearted fool just like she was just so that he could steal her fame for his own benefit. Then there had been Selena who had been lying to everyone about what had happened with her and Miley's ex-boyfriend. Mandy and Joe hadn't been telling her half of the things they should have done. They told her that they were going out for dinner with friends instead of telling her that they were having dinner with Nick and his family and that's why they couldn't go out for ice cream. Everyone's phone calls seemed to have got shorter and shorter as most of them didn't want to talk to her about her father who she knew was still saying stuff about her behind her back. He was still seeing everyone in her family just as normal. Her mother lied about everything saying that there had been no one on the phone when it had really been her father from their home in Nashville. The first few times that he'd been back home and they hadn't told her about it… she'd kind of been okay with it. But when they waited until she was sleeping to go out for a family dinner, she'd cried herself into the sleep she'd faked to listen to them interact and be a family without her.

The one person she didn't want anywhere near her out of pure pain and confusion was the only one that was desperate to be near her… she'd never felt more alone in her life… all she wanted was someone to hold her.

Her life was messed up.

"So Mandy's going as Joe's date…?" her mother asked as she handed her the brand new dark blue coat she'd bought just for the occasion.

Miley simply nodded looking out of the window to see that they had arrived.

It was getting cold nowadays as they hit the first day of December and the days became shorter. The nights became longer and it just meant more hours of her laying awake at night convincing and chastising herself because her mind was having second thoughts about everything that he'd ever done, almost ready to forgive him. She constantly kept telling herself every minute of every day that he broke her. He broke her heart. He didn't deserve her forgiveness and she didn't want to give it to him… so much that she was slowly beginning to actually believe it. But she knew that she could never, _ever _go back to how it was with him. They would always argue. They were not the right fit… as much as deep down past her stubbornness, she kind of wanted to believe that they were like they used to be be. She wanted to believe that she had made the decision on her own to go against nature and not love him anymore. She wanted to believe that too much had changed now for them to ever be able to go back. It was too late.

She stepped out of the car and held the coat in her hands, smoothing out her beautiful dark dull blue dress with her soft subtle hands, catching the sight of the shiny blue nail varnish that had been painted onto her nails earlier that day especially to match with the rest of her outfit. Her hair was elegantly swept up from from her shoulders at the back of her head, the bobby pins her stylist had placed in it to keep it in place dug into her scalp as she fidgeted with it uncomfortably.

She didn't want to be there.

"Welcome Miss…" The old doorman said as he smiled at her and offered her his arm. She smiled and took it gladly as the camera's snapped away at her. She waved to them plastering on her fake smile and making her arms sparkle in faux happiness at being there. This was hell…

"Shirley Temple?" A waiter holding a tray of glasses asked her as she entered through the doors that similarly resembled the entrance to some creepy ice cave, leading into a room lit with sparkling blue and white lights, ice sculptures and Christmas trees placed everywhere. Snowflakes were covering the walls in decoration. The Waiters, dressed just like they had jumped out of a old fashioned fairytale of a Disney movie, walked amongst the well dressed guests with smiles and perfect faces offering drinks of Shirley Temples and Champagne to their guests. Ernie from Radio Disney was at the front of the smaller intimate room of guests playing all the Christmas classics that everyone loved to hear, random people were talking to him, requesting their favourite yuletide tracks. Tables surrounded the outer edge of the room, dressed in perfectly white silky tablecloths and pale blue napkins. Crystal wine glasses and pitchers of water littered them as plates waiting for food sat silently waiting for the diners to return to their tables.

She smiled noticing her two best friends and headed for them away from all the other guests that she couldn't be bothered to talk to today. They smiled as they saw her approaching into the darkness in which they sat talking to Kevin and Danielle and Mrs Jonas.

"Hey guys," she said as she collectively hugged them wrapping her arms around both their necks in one swift movement. They laughed as she let them go quickly embracing Joe's older brother, before enveloping their mother in a much needed hug.

"You look beautiful…" Denise said as she stood up and twirled Miley around as she giggled, "I love your dress…"

She giggled uncomfortably and relished the attention.

"You really do look beautiful, Miley…"

She spun around, and just like the icicles around the room she was frozen at the sight of him. She stared at him, pausing, her mouth agape with shock and confusion as he stared at her carefully. Her hands balled into the fabric of the coat that was still in her hands and she stuttered and spluttered the words that weren't coming from her mouth. They all looked at her in confusion. It was no match for the confusion she had of her own. For the first time in months she didn't want to shout at him or scream at him… she had nothing she needed to say. All she had was pathetic fear that made her take her next actions.

"Excuse me…" she mumbled quickly spinning around and heading the other way towards the bathroom she'd spotted on her way in. Mandy was quickly on her heals, Joe jumping up behind her to stand perfectly next to the one boy she was desperate to avoid.

Joe sighed and wrapped his arm around his brother's shoulder again and slapped him consolingly on the chest. Nick nodded. He was appreciative of Joe's pity.

"She's probably just embarrassed about how she was last week at the AMAs…" Joe mumbled so that no one important, including their mother heard them.

Nick smiled and looked around at Joe slightly, his eyes low and heavy in slight defeat, "This is a lost cause isn't it?"

Joe smiled at him and shrugged his shoulders letting out a chuckle.

"Probably…"

* * *

**A/N: Hope you guys liked that. Another chapter's ready when you're prepared for it. **

**Probably not going to write anything new for a couple of months until exams are over and I'm FREE!!!! Only 6 weeks until I have Four months to myself!!! **


	24. Never Giving Up

**A/N: Thanks for all the wishes of good luck guys. I'm gonna need it if I pass those exams. I thought I best give you something for being so great. Here's one of my pre-written chapters for ya. X

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**Chapter 24 – Never Giving Up **

She spent the entirety of the Dinner talking quietly to Mandy and Joe, ignoring everyone else – including her mother. She didn't eat much… she didn't' really talk to anyone or do anything for the entire two hour duration of speeches and eating luxurious food that had been made by the finest chefs in the world. It was only the best for their wondrous employees. They were to have whatever they wanted. They would be treated like princes and princesses.

_Pfft… yeah right… _Miley thought to herself, _If we were treated like that I would have been able to behead someone by now… _

Preferably, her first choice would have been Nick. The boy had been staring at her all night, unable to stop as he sat across from her on the left of Joe and Mandy. Miley was sandwiched between her mother and Nick's mother who had been talking over her for the entire time she'd been sat down. She'd seemed to have got her message across that she was uninterested in talking to anyone by sitting their silently pushing her huge ice cream sundae around in its bowl as she slowly scooped it into her mouth. It was the only thing she could think to eat. It was the only thing that gave her enough happiness. She would have rather of spent the entire night in her bed… but yet again she was forced to go to some stupid benefit or awards show or stupid work related dinner.

"Hey… what's up with you tonight?" Mandy asked her as they stood in the girl's bathroom after locking the door so no one else could get in. Her mother had left to go home straight after the dinner leaving Mandy in charge of getting Miley home in one piece. Mandy, of course, was being watched over by Joe's mom and Joe himself – just to make sure.

Mandy was fixing her make-up and checking her hair, while Miley simply stared at herself for what seemed the millionth time, looking into her own eyes and trying to see what she really wanted. She looked at herself and tried not to judge. She tried not to be angry at herself for being so torn and so confused. She hated herself because she wanted to be so forgiving. He'd done nothing other than what he should have done in the first place and she still wanted to forgive him. It was going to have to take a lot more than that, based purely on principle. She couldn't forgive him if he hadn't shown her that he had stopped thinking about himself all the time and about what he wanted. He had to learn what other people wanted. He had to figure out what was _really _best for the people that he loved. He had to help everyone but himself.

"I'm not…" she sighed hopelessly, "I'm not really in the mood to talk to anyone today… I kinda just want to be alone…" she tore her eyes away from the mirror and shook her head, "Or something… I don't know what I want anymore…"

Mandy looked at her through the mirror and shook her head, "What's wrong?"

Miley shook her head with a smile, "Nothing of great importance…"

"It sounds like it is…" Mandy shrugged as she pulled out her eyeliner and began using it, "You sure you don't want to talk to someone who loves you more than life itself?"

"I'm fine…" Miley laughed and wrapped her arms around Mandy's shoulders as she moved the eyeliner away, "But thank you for caring…"

Mandy squeezed the hands that were clasped around her shoulders and kissed them caringly as Miley looked at her through the mirror. Mandy winked at her and Miley was sure that with Mandy around she was always going to be okay than if anyone else was around. It was the most reassuring feeling in the world to have someone as great as her as her best friend.

"Are you _sure _that you're okay, Miles?" Miley nodded as Mandy turned to face her in concern, "Really? You don't seem like your usual self?" She paused cocking her head to the side, "Is it still all the stuff with your Dad and the family?"

Miley shrugged, "Yeah… but I'll get over it…" she bit her lip, "I just wish that… I don't know… I wish that-"

"It was last year?"

Miley smiled and nodded, "Yeah…" she nodded and her eyes glistened, "I could go back and just slap myself and tell myself to be stronger and more powerful in my own mind and… to know what I actually want and to not make stupid mistakes like I have done…"

Mandy laughed at her and hugged her tightly until she couldn't hardly breathe, "You don't need to be stronger or anything like that, Smiley…" she sighed and kissed her on the forehead, "You're more than that already…" she pulled away but not before grabbing her and pulling her forward until she could messily kiss her on her forehead again, "We have to go back to Joe… he keeps texting me…"

Miley nodded as Mandy quickly made to open the door, "I'll be there in a minute… I just have to go get a drink…"

* * *

She arrived at the bar and didn't expect to see the small lonely figure that sat there looking just as radiantly beautiful than ever. She was nursing a Shirley Temple, stirring around the red liquid with the straw that was stuck into the glass. She was dressed completely in black and her hair was loose, hanging around her shoulders and partly hiding her solemn looking face. She should have been with her boyfriend, the second boyfriend that Miley had given up easily and the second boyfriend that she'd taken sloppy seconds of. She was the lucky one. They'd actually wanted her… both of them had wanted her and had happily forgotten Miley for her.

But still, Miley pitied her.

"Hey…" she mumbled brightly as she moved to stand beside her.

She looked up from her drink and smiled not nearly as brightly as Miley knew she could do justice. She looked pleased that someone was actually talking to her after all this time and Miley realised that she hadn't even realised that Selena had been there this whole time until she'd been two feet away from her. Everyone had seemed to have ignored her presence and instead aimed on that of other people who hadn't completely been a walking scandal for the past month or so.

"Hey Miley…" she said flicking her phone open to look at the time. Just like Miley, it seemed she wanted out of this place as soon as she could get it, "How are you?"

Miley indicated for the passing bartender to get her the same as the young woman she was talking to, "I'm great, thanks…" Selena didn't even seem to hear her. Miley coughed uncomfortably, "How are you?"

Selena nodded and pulled the tiny umbrella from her drink, pushing the cherry impaled onto it up and down the stick, "I'm fine."

Miley watched her, in her own world as she avoided everything in the world around her, concentrating solely on the metre radius that surrounded her only. Miley leant against the bar and caught sight of her cheeks, stained with tears and pale with deathly white skin. Before she could even realise, Miley was jumping to the same conclusions that she always did, the ultimate conclusions… the ones that always seemed to come true.

"Where's Justin?" she mumbled pulling the drink towards her and taking a calming mouthful, "How is he?"

Selena sat up and looked around, taking a deep airy sigh and shaking her head in defeat, "He's umm… he's…" she shook herself out of it, "I don't actually know where he is at the moment Miley… or with whom…"

Miley realised guiltily and reached to pull the seat nearby closer to her old friend, "Oh…"

Selena nodded, "Yeah…"

Miley bit her lip and took another guilty gulp of her drink, "When?"

"Two days ago…" Selena rolled her eyes in a smile, "In an email… from Cancun…"

Miley exhaled in disbelief and couldn't help but let a smile explode on her face. He had nerve. She shook her head and let out a laugh not even thinking about the apparently lost little girl who was sat beside her, "What was his reason? Something completely stupid and void of all sense?"

Selena nodded, "I think his words were 'I think we should see new people… because I've met someone else…' or something of that idiotic calibre," Miley looked around at her and gawped, "Apparently he's found someone more famous and with more money than I have to… uh… to give him a lil push in his career…"

Miley shook her head. Was he really just jumping from famous girl to famous girl, month to month trying to see how famous he could become? That was low and sleazy. It wasn't even near to being human. It was inhumane and it was pathetic. How could one person have blown so many chances to do the right thing and ruin his own life? Miley guessed that he was just "climbing on up the food chain". He wasn't being "weak" like the rest of them.

"Are you okay?" Miley let out the breath she'd been holding and moved closer, putting her hand on Selena's reassuringly.

Selena shook her head and Miley could tell that she was trying not to cry and break down just like she wanted to. She was trying to show real strength and appear unaffected by the most disgusting man that had graced both of their lives… and between the pair of them, they had known many men.

"I'm fine…" she whispered and she gulped her drink almost choking, "I'm fine…" she wiped her mouth with a napkin, "I kind of expected it of him eventually, you know?"

Miley stared at her. The only thought she had running around her head was how if Nick hadn't of kissed her three and a half months ago when she'd with Justin, that right now this could have been her broken heartedly sitting at a bar at a party where no one wanted to talk to her. It could have been her that had jeopardized everything for someone that she would have later figured out was nothing… a nobody that had used her and made light fun of it. If the rumours were true, Miley could have been the person who gave more to Justin than his fame or his celebrity. She could have lost everything that she once held dear to her and that, for her, would have been the last fatal blow to the continuation of ruining her life. But it sure would have proved her father wrong… not that it mattered… he was a stubborn old fool…

"Yeah…" Miley nodded, "I could have expected a lot more than that from him though…"

Selena nodded and she leant down onto the table, folding her arms and resting her chin on her wrist in the middle, "I suppose that I thought that he actually liked me…" she laughed, "Stupid huh?"

Miley leant back on her stool and looked down at her, so innocent and so naïve. Miley knew better than to trust men. She'd learnt that at an early age. Selena was just learning a little later like most girls, that was all.

"Not at all…" Miley shook her head as she rested her glass in her lap.

The dark haired beautiful girl lay there on the bar for a few moments contemplating life and all the quick mistakes she'd made in the last few months as the younger wiser Miley watched on. _There was so much Miley could tell her… so much that she knew that would break her heart even more. _There was so many things that she needed to know, but so many things that she was afraid to tell her. Justin was such a dark and powerful soul. He could charm his way into anyone's heart and they would know no different to his true intentions. He was a virus that shook the body and made it sweat, it messed with the head and made it ache but soon it was quickly gone and you were never quite right again.

Selena groaned and lifted her head to rest her elbow on the glass top of the bar, "I should have listened to Nick when he came to get me…"

She stared at her confused and narrowed her brow. She gulped at the sound of his name and quickly placed her glass back onto the bar before she dropped in from her sweaty palms.

"When Nick came to get you from where?" she said coyly even though she was already halfway to knowing the entire story.

Selena rolled her eyes and shook her head, "You know where…" Miley blushed, "He drove to Tijuana and made me leave Justin because he didn't want me to ruin my career. It was all very gallant and foolish…"

Miley laughed and rested her elbows on the bar. She couldn't stop herself from rolling her eyes at the thought of him racing in and saving Selena dressed in armour and riding a white horse. She was always going to be the girl that had him running for her, Miley couldn't get him to chase after her like he'd chased Selena. The stories of their wonderful first date and Mandy's passing on of rumours that he'd once taken a train journey all the way to Texas in disguise to see her were some things that he had _never_ done for Miley. It only reassured her that he wasn't the guy for her.

She let out a devilish laugh from the back of her throat and tilted her head back as she drank the last dregs of her drink, "Well… he always did want to be the knight in shining armour when it came to you, Lena… he's liked you since we were together…"

When Selena did no answer, Miley looked around to find her watching her peacefully, exhaustedly with a glint of truth and mischief in her eye. Her face was void of amusement or annoyance. She was just watching her tentatively toying with the thoughts and the truths that had been bobbing around in her head since Nick had barged through her door in the middle of the evening and made sure that Justin was the one person who knew that if any male was to mess with her, or with Miley, he would make sure they paid for any pain they caused until they were in a heap on the floor just like he had soon become.

"He came to get me because of you…" she said blankly until Miley looked around at her in a mix of shock and simultaneous knowing, "Did you know that?"

Miley's cheeks flushed from pink to being pale, her head shaking softly and guiltily from side to side as she looked down at the hands she had placed silently in her lap now that she had no glass to nervously play with, "No…" she whispered, " I didn't know that…" she hunched her shoulders, "And I don't understand why he would…"

"I guess he wanted to punish Justin for using you… I'm more than guessing that he was trying to make a point that sometimes he and his friends make mistakes too… just like you and your friends…" Miley smiled remembering their parodying video of that of Selena and her best friend, "I guess he was just trying to prove that he cares about people other than himself… and that he's got more honour to protect than his own… he's got that of his friends…" she paused as Miley played with her fingers silently… expressionless, "He's got your honour to protect too… but he doesn't know what you want him to be anymore…"

"What do you mean?" Miley frowned, "I don't want him to be anything…"

Selena shook her head and leaned closer, "He doesn't know what you want him to be to you… friend, acquaintance… he doesn't know what you want him to be…" she paused and Miley closed her eyes trying to forget his pained face that she'd seen so many times, "He just wants to be part of your life, Miles…"

Miley hunched in her seat as Selena sat up next to her, straight backed and sure of herself. She blinked and shook her head in disbelief for what seemed the millionth time in the last couple months and picked at the blue nail varnish that used to be perfect.

"He broke my heart…" she stated plainly with the nonchalant pain of a thousand memories in the shape of forgotten tears, "He's an idiot for thinking that doing all these _stupid _things is going to change my mind…"

Miley shuffled quickly and uncomfortably on her seat, ready to cry yet again. She rested her arms on the glass top of the bar and clasped her hands together almost praying for something to save her. She felt her mouth take her peeping thumbnail into her teeth and bite on it to stop herself from sobbing. Her eyes shone brightly, looking across to the blank wall ahead of her as she kept on thinking about him and everything he had tried to do.

"Can't it?"

Miley's eyes flickered closed for a moment as the words of her companion filtered into her brain. She was shaking, she could feel her hands vibrating as she held them together. Her eyes jammed together as her thoughts, her realisations and the desperate attempts to not let anything cloud her principles mixed together.

"He's _in love _with you, Miley… he is in love with _you _and only _**you**_," Selena whispered to her, "You've been a constant thought in his mind for the past three years and all he wants is to prove himself to you and that's all he has been doing since he realised that he _can't _stop loving you.

"He's not going to give up Miley… he's not going to stop fighting to get you back in his life. He's made so many mistakes and he's tried so hard to fix them. He's been punched by his brother, he's bared all to you and the rest of the world… he's saved me from a motel in Tijuana and he kicked the crap out of our ex boyfriend until he was a crying bloody mess on the floor…" Miley looked up at her in shock. For a moment she didn't believe her, but soon Selena was nodding surely and Miley had never believed anything more in her life just from the way that her brown eyes bore into Miley's blue.

"_He misses you_,_ Miley…"_

Miley squeezed her eyes closed and let a tear slip through her barriers… _but only one. _

"The least you can do is be his friend," she whispered, "Even if you don't love him anymore… even if he broke your heart… he's earned the right to be your friend again, don't you think?"

When Miley closed her eyes, it was her main intention to stubbornly come up with a good enough or stupid enough reason for her to not listen to what Selena had to say. It was her main intention to think of a reason why Nick deserved nothing from her. She'd given him all she had to give him a long time ago, she'd said what she'd needed to say. That was all she had…

But she was saved from her lies, and left basking in her realisation when her eyes opened and she found the beautiful and thought provoking young woman gone and the seat beside her empty.

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**A/N: Reviews are a great way to stop me studying and revising for my exams ;) and write more chapters. **

**x**


	25. Skipping A Beat

**A/N: Here's Chapter 25. Last completed chapter I have until I can write some more :(**

**This won't be what you expect. I just counted how many chapters are left in this story and it's rather... interesting. I think you'll be happy. **

**xx

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**Chapter 25 - Skipping A Beat **

He was dancing around to eighties Christmas songs and classics when she turned in her seat to watch him. Mandy and Joe were laughing at him as the pair of them danced just as expertly and excellently as they usually did, their bodies popping and locking, rising and falling against each other as they smiled and laughed amongst their group of peers. Kevin and his girlfriend were shuffling on their feet, looking completely uninterested in what was going on around them. Demi was dancing with Mrs J as she laughed and jokingly nudged Joe in the arm as he teased her about her old eighties haircut when most of the songs had been released. The entire room was a mingling buzz of multiple endless amounts of bodies all moving and shaking against each other to form one separate ecstatic entity.

For once, she was sat at the side, one of the lonely few too tired or too busy to be acting like a fool on the dance floor.

Or at least that was what she had told them when her best friends had come to drag her from her place at the table and onto the dance floor, tugging at her hands and prying the glass from her them…

She didn't want them to know what was really going on in her head…

The last hour had been spent building up her courage to walk up to him and talk to him about everything like an adult instead of in the stupid seventh grade way she'd been dealing with it. Lena was right, he deserved more than that. He deserved for her to actually talk to him rather than to yell at him. He deserved his chance to tell her everything that he wanted her to know. He deserved maturity and ease in the way she spoke instead of the daggers she'd lately been constantly been throwing at him.

When finally the courage had been plucked from the darkest recesses of her soul, he looked at her in shocked confusion when she stormed across the dance floor mid "Beat it" and tapped him on the arm to get his attention. Taking her cue, he leaned into her as she pressed a hand to his arm his face inches from hers. His dark curly hair grazed over her cheek and she took a deep breath at the tingly sensation it left there. She smiled nervously and tugged on his arm again, bringing him closer and whispering softly in his ear.

"Can I talk to you outside in the courtyard?"

His eyes bore into her and it was like he was trying to pluck all the reasons why she would want to talk to him from his mind and let them buzz around in the air. She was relieved when he nodded and, letting go of his arm, she let him press a hand to the middle of her back and guide her through the crowd receiving looks from all the people closest to them that had been dancing with him. Mandy's googly confused eyes and Joe's cocked eyebrow were joined by ignorant gazes from Kevin and his girlfriend. While the boys' mother stared at her intently, confused to where they were leaving to. She was soon put to a halt when Nick caught sight of her and indicated that they were going outside to talk. She nodded pleased. Denise had always loved Miley. She'd always wanted a daughter. Miley was a breath of fresh air in a family of five boys.

"MILEY!"

"NICK!"

"MILEY!"

"MILEY!"

"NICK!"

"THROW US THE PEACE SIGN!"

"ARE YOU GUYS BACK TOGETHER?!?"

Seeing the sight of the dozen or so paparazzi she withdrew back into his chest and shook her head. Perhaps this had been the wrong place for them to talk right now… maybe this could wait until a better time where there were no cameras and no middle-aged creepy men who could manage to take sex from every occasion.

Nick had other ideas…

He rose his hands in the air as the paparazzi attempting to silence them in their questioning and state that they had no comment. The security swarmed them as they made their way to the courtyard at the back of the venue. The ratio of security to paparazzi was hugely out-numbered and the security were cowering in fear at the amount of large bald middle-aged men with cameras that headed for the two teenagers knocking them out their way. Nick began forcing Miley behind him, acting as a human shield as they cornered them at the edge of the entrance to the courtyard making it impossible for them to get inside.

"WAIT!" Miley yelled annoyed as she pushed herself out from behind Nick, his arms continuing to attempt to shield her from all the men trying to jump on them for a photo. As usual he lost and in seconds she was beside him, holding on to his jacket as she held her hands out to stop the paparazzi.

"There's something we need to do, guys and we'd appreciate it if you gave us fifteen minutes to relieve ourselves of our necessary needs!"

The dozens of men and few woman standing in front of her gawped at her with wide open eyes as she continued to hold her hands out to stop them. They were frozen however as she waited to hear their reply. They didn't appear to have one as they just continued to stare at the pair of them. Shaking her head in annoyance, and not wanting to wait anymore, she placed her hands onto Nick's shoulders roughly pushing him through to the courtyard. She let out a loud sigh of irritation and closed the gate behind them, fuming at the paparazzi and fuming at herself for letting herself get caught in this situation. She became even angrier when she turned around and found Nick standing metres away from her, giggling as he leant against the stone circular wall.

"What?" she huffed impatiently placing her hands on her hips exhausted, "I didn't see you trying to do anything!"

He shook his head and his mouth opened as she obviously did not just hear the same exceedingly obvious innuendo as he had just done, caked in the meaning that was simply not the one she was aiming for.

"Do you not realise how dirty that just looked?" He muttered shoving his hands into his pockets, "Breaking away from a party to 'relieve necessary needs'? Are we going to jump each other or pee over the side of one of Sleeping Beauty's turrets?!"

She stared at him for a moment before letting out a large, loud sigh of frustration, "I was going for speed not literacy!"

Nick shook his head and let out a huge belly laugh that, she was ashamed to admit, brought a warm feeling of satisfaction to her chest and stomach.

"Don't laugh at me!" she sulked with a grin, moving to look over the edge of the building and over at the lights of the park and make sure that no one was watching them now that they were elevated and locked away from the paparazzi, "It's not funny…"

He continued to laugh as he stood beside her doubled over in laughter, his back against the stone wall and his hand covering his eyes as they watered with the laughter that was streaming over his face, "It's hilarious, Miles…"

"Yeah…" she shook her head, "Well it wasn't meant to be… I brought you up here for a mature and adult conversation…"

Instantly, he stopped talking and turned his head to look at her in concern. That same look he'd possessed when she'd walked to get his attention spread across his face and his hands quickly buried into his pockets. She could hear him coughing uncomfortably beside her, his nerves getting the better of him as he continued to shuffle his feet and twitch. She shook her head guiltily letting a laugh pass her lips. When had she made him so nervous just by wanting to speak to him? There used to be a time when she would want to speak to him and all he would be able to manage was a roll of his eyes as she dragged him into some private space. Now he was a wreck just by her being kind to him. Had she really been _that_ hard on him?

She clasped her hands together as she prepared herself to speak. He saw her and took it as his cue to stand just as she was with his chest and stomach against the hard cold of the stone round wall that overlooked the kingdom. He nervously brushed his hair from his eyes and scratched his chin unable to wait. All the time, she didn't take her gaze from him, watching him from the corner of her eye as she tried desperately to think of something to say… the perfect opening line. Her mind buzzed with all the things she'd been told over the evening and she shook her head in disbelief of the one thing she couldn't seem to get her head around… the last thing she could ever imagine…

"Did you _really _beat Justin up?"

She was answered by a low chuckle and a shake of the head she caught from the corner of her eye. Her cheeks blushed red and all she could feel was impressed by his actions. "Wow…" she breathed her voice continually low and calm, "That's one thing I never expected to happen…"

Nick shrugged and continued to laugh, "I made him cry too…"

She turned to him slightly and nodded subtly, "I heard…"

"Yeah…"

Awkward… this conversation, in all the history of any conversation she'd ever had in her life, hands down bet all of her other awkward conversations. It made her feel sick and she didn't know what the hell she was meant to be saying or doing. She was just letting her mouth run wild and say whatever she thought best at the moment her mouth opened. It was potentially dangerous…

She blushed even redder and scoffed out a laugh. Her speech began to stuttered, "That-That's really kind of you to do that for Lena…" she said nodding her head, her eyes away from him, "It's-It's really honourable…"

He shook his head and shrugged his shoulders gently as he avoided looking at her. He was picking at the painted effect of the wall and trying to seem completely detached from the conversation.

"I didn't do it for Selena…"

She looked away from him and down at her own hand that was picking away the paint also. Her fingertips were red from the rough of the texture and noticing that her manicurist would probably kill her from ruining the edges of her nails, accusing her of biting them again, she stopped and rubbed her fingertips together to wipe away the chalky texture.

"I didn't know that you had your own issues with Justin…" she muttered clearly.

"I did it for you, Miley…" he said plainly, "I did it because I knew that you would get dragged into deeper mess with the media if they found out that Selena had been caught in that hotel room after sleeping with that no good scumbag and loosing all of her charm and appeal. I knew that they'd just drag you into too and you'd be accused of sleeping with him too or you know… something even more pathetic and childish…" he paused and flicked some of the paint over the edge in irritated annoyance, "But most of all I did it because I knew that when he lied to you, that it hurt…" their eyes met for a moment and she watched as he nodded surely of himself. He smiled sadly and shrugged his shoulders, "I know how much you don't like liars, Miles…"

She didn't know if it was the way that his eyes bore into hers, the way that his face was stern, serious and certain of truth or the way that he called her Miles… but she was rendered motionless and speechless for the few minutes that he remained looking at her, making her feel like she was the only person in the world. He made her feel like she was the only thing he'd ever really seen.

Unable to take it anymore, unused to the once familiar sensation, she tore her eyes away and looked down at her hands.

"Oh…"

"I'm sorry if I was out of line…" he muttered quietly when she said nothing else, "I just thought that… someone needed to teach the guy a lesson and make sure he'd keep quiet…"

She shook her head, "It's fine…"

The fact that they were speaking actual words instead of throwing random phrases backwards and forwards at each other in heated amounts of angered passion was unfamiliar to her. She vaguely remembered their conversation at the music awards and what she had said. She'd got the rundown of her previous night when she'd properly woken up the morning after while eating pancakes with Mandy and Joe. They'd told her that she hadn't yelled at him like she usually done. She'd not realised how much she liked to yell and blame him for everything recently. There had once been a time when she could blame herself for being so naïve.

Guilt was a strange thing… especially when you can't seem to shake it off. She'd been guilty of lying for some time now and she had to tell the truth. She had to set the record straight.

"I don't hate you."

From the corner of her eye she saw a smile spread across his face as he nodded his head, like he was suddenly winning something, like he wasn't being defeated anymore. It was probably because he wasn't - she was.

"I know," he said gently.

"I was just angry."

He nodded, "I don't blame you."

She smiled for a second and couldn't believe how easy he was being on her. If this was him doing the admitting instead of her, she probably would have made him worker harder to explain himself rather than just accepting everything, just like the old Nick would have done. He didn't need explanations. He just accepted the reasons and was done with it. She was the one who wanted the monologues of descriptions and explanations. If he needed to explain something to someone, he could be happy with giving them a three word answer.

"Is this all you wanted to talk about, Miles?" he asked unsurely his gazing turning to her happily. His smile was still on his face and it eased her slightly bout to ask… for the incredibly childlike thing she was about to do.

"Would you be my friend again?"

She blushed when she watched his eyebrows rise in shock and disbelief. She looked away and shook her head letting a laugh erupt unsurely from somewhere within her that was trying to make all of this easier than it actually was. Her cheeks were bright red, she could feel them. Her palms were sweating to the point that her hands were fisted up tightly in fear that she was going to lose her jewellery if she didn't. She was shaking a little, nervous that he would tell her to go jump off a cliff with her slightly idiotic and uncalled for questions. She'd treated him like crap for three months… she didn't blame him if he told her to back off and leave him alone… it was no loss for either of them.

She jumped however when he leaned into her ear and smiled widely, "Do you wanna go to Paty's for breakfast tomorrow?"

Moving back slightly, she laughed at him and nodded, "I…"

She paused as she rolled her eyes as her phone started vibrating in her pocket. She was a little disappointed as she held up her hand for him to wait. Whoever this was calling her had already annoyed her just by having the cheek to call her this late at night… it was gone midnight, she was sure of it. Even _she _didn't take calls this late anymore. It was just rude considering that she usually had work at seven in the morning.

She pulled the buzzing entity from her pocket and looked down at it in confusion. It was her mother. Shouldn't she have been bundled up in her jammies and socks right now? Wasn't that the point of her going home early? So just like she had for the past month, she could ignore all of Miley wishes and forget about her and not worry that it was almost midnight and she was still not home. Wasn't this the purpose of making other people do the work that she was meant to do until she was at least eighteen? So she didn't have to call her at the most annoying moments to check up where she was?

"What do you want mom?" she sighed.

"Miley calm down…"her mom said frantically.

She shook her head confused and slapped her spare arm down at her side, "I _am _calm, Mom…" she paused nervously and gulped noticing the way she could hear her mother's heavy and frantic, almost afraid breaths at the other side of the phone line, "what's wrong, Mom?"

"Miley I want you to remain _calm!" _Her mother said and she let out a noise of distress, panicking her daughter whose heart instantly began to beat harder and faster.

She shook her head, "Momma… what's wrong? You're scaring me now…"

"I want you to listen _carefully…" _her mother's voice broke and shattered a little as Miley heard the sounds of her sister and brother lugging heavy objects and talking in low voices to each other. The tapping of her mother's feet on asphalt and the turning of wheels soon filled her ears and she'd never been more afraid of something in her life.

"I'm listening…" she mumbled nervously.

And that was when her mother began to explain, just like Miley would have usually of liked her too. Complete and utter details were poured into her ear and she instantly began to feel nauseous and dizzy. Her world began to shatter and break and fear overtook her senses as she began to shake uncontrollably. Shock rattled her bones and clouded her brain as she listened and panicked. Her eyes grew wide at each word and her hope had never been more lost.

"Baby girl… your Daddy's been in an accident…" her mother had said breathlessly, "His tour bus collided with a truck in New Jersey… We don't know what's happening… but the hospital have called and they need a next of kin to be there as soon as possible for when he gets out of surgery… I've left Noah with Mammie and the Nanny. Braison, Brandi and I are making our way there on the first plane out. Miley, listen… I need you to find your own way here because there isn't time to wait. Baby girl, it's important that you get here soon to help… it's not looking good… Do you understand? You need to get here as soon as possible… Miley? Miley? Miley-Ray?!"

But she received no answer, because as soon as Miley had heard her news, the world had clouded around her, her mother's words had mixed into an undecipherable mess in her ears and her head had begun to pound with the shock and the inability to understand what any of this meant. Her body quivered as she felt her limbs turn to jelly, her legs slipping effortlessly out from beneath her body, buckling into two as she slumped down onto the concrete. She tried to speak, to answer her mother, but it was hopeless as the world around her drowned into the black, her conscious ebbing away into nothingness…

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**A/N: This is ME we're talking about. It's **_**never**_** that easy. Approximately 20-30 more chapters to go LOL. That sounded ridiculous. **

**R&R x**


	26. Sunsets and Car Crashes

**A/N: Hello! I'm back. Exams are over and I'm going to try and update this story as much as I can, and probably some of the others too. I feel rather inspired to write this story actually… wonder why that is? :) **

**Here's Chapter 26… **

**xx

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**Chapter 26 - Sunsets and Car Crashes**

She let out a large shriek of a gasp as her body forced itself upwards until she was sitting. She stared around, sweat dripping from her face and soaking her clothes, tears streaming down her cheeks as her head ached with pain. She panted, unable to breathe as she looked around not recognising where she was. She was surrounded by semi darkness, panicking that she was trapped within her subconscious unable to escape it and get back to the real world where she was for once desperately needed. Her eyes flickered open and closed and she was suddenly aware of the sharp shooting pains at the right of her forehead. Out of pure natural reflex, she rose her hand to the pain, before it was stopped by a stronger hand she was suddenly aware had been wrapped around her body.

"Don't touch it…" Nick mumbled to her as he held her close, pulling her back down to the space where she had been laying before she had awoken, "It's not stopped bleeding…"

She rested her head back onto the pillow that was placed on his lap and did not stop him when he began to stroke the hair from her face and press his hand over where it hurt. It seemed to be helping.

She shook her head at him still slightly in shock and blinked away the water in her eyes, "What's happened?"

He looked down at her sadly and shook his head, "You blacked out while you were on the phone to your mom… you've cut your head and I think it needs stitches…"

She shook her head at him, "We-we're not going to the hospital… I can't…" She tried to sit up again but he shoved her back down onto his lap. It was like he knew that her head would instantly start throbbing with pain as soon as she tried to do anything but lay down. She continued to shake her head manically, however, aiding to the pain in her own little way, "I have to get to my Dad… I have to look after everyone…"

He smiled at her, and continued to stroke his palm across her forehead calmingly, "We've been driving for three hours, Miley… We're on our way to Jersey…"

Miley let the relief wash over her as her eyes closed and she suddenly relaxed in knowing that she was where she needed to be. She lifted her hand to her forehead and felt it sting with pain uncomfortably. Someone had carefully placed some medical swabbing over it and now it was obvious that Nick had got the short straw of the deal and had been put in charge of guarding the weak one's wounds while she came around from her panic attack of blacking out in the middle of a perfectly good party. He had been dragged along by what from the back looked to be her sleeping male best friend in the passenger seat and her driving, talking on the phone female best friend who was taking directions from whoever she was taking her call. She felt bad, dragging him along into something he had nothing to do with.

Feeling guilty, she wormed her fingers beneath the hand that was placed carefully over the swabbing to relieve him of his boring and probably much unwanted job. He lifted his hand and allowed her to press her hand there adding the pressure he had been attempting to apply. She was surprised however, when instead of leaving her to carry out the task on her own, he went on to replace his hand back over her hand slightly above where it had previously been. She looked up to him in shock; his face grew into a blush.

"More pressure's good for it…" he mumbled sheepishly.

She blushed back and for some reason, she felt her entire body respond to his nerves, moving more into him as she became bombarded with the overwhelming feeling of not know what was going on, where she was, or what was happening. She only knew what her mother had mentioned before she had blacked out. She knew what had happened. She could remember her mother's voice telling her that her father's tour bus had collided with something, but she couldn't remember much else of what her mother had said, what she was meant to do and where her family were without her.

"Is my Dad okay?" She muttered plainly, blankly looking straight into his dark telling eyes and begging him to tell her the truth.

She didn't flinch; she didn't even scowl or jump when his fingers slowly began to stroke over the tops of her hands, consolingly warm and comforting. In the dark of the back of the car, she saw his shoulders raise and slump back down as he gazed down at her with gentle caring eyes, "I don't know."

She took a calming breath as her eyes darted terrified around the car, attempting not to cry, and trying to be the strong young woman her father would have wanted her to be. Only she wasn't strong, and neither was he. Her childhood ideas of her father being indestructible were suddenly all slowly falling down around her as she waited impatiently to know whether he was alive or dead. Her heart stammered wildly and dangerously in her chest as she as realised all too quickly that one day, maybe even today, her father would be gone and he wouldn't be here anymore.

* * *

The sun started to rise around 6am that morning as the air got colder, the sky got greyer and slowly she felt her body shake more and more as she struggled hopelessly to try and figure out what she was meant to do. Her eyes hadn't stopped watering since she'd woken up and she hadn't fallen back asleep. She'd sat there watching Mandy and Joe swap places as they silently drove, listening to the instructions that the GPS and Mandy's father was giving them over the phone. At each swap over every hour, one of them would step out the car and change seats, turn around quickly to ask Miley how she was, taking her "fine" as a final answer and falling quickly to sleep. Nick, however, had held her head to the pillow making sure the bleeding slowly stopped, smiling at her occasionally, staying silent and watching her as she buried herself into the turmoil inside of her head, letting her fears sweat and stew.

Every so often she would sigh and ask where they were as the hours slowly drifted on. At each rest stop she would make a phone call to her mother or to Brandi, always finding their cell phones switched off or engaged, heading straight to voicemail, none of them being returned. When the sun was finally up and she was sure that Mammie would be awake, she called the house to check on them, discovering from Laura what she knew each and every couple of hours. For the first few phone calls, she knew nothing. But as the temperature decreased and the tighter her coat was tugged around her now blood stained beautiful blue dress, she began to feel something strange, something that she wasn't sure was hope or fear. She just knew it was there.

She watched Nick struggle to keep his eyes open as he looked out of the window and smiled at his reluctance not to fall asleep in case something happened while he was out. His eyes fell closed before a quickly passing car would make them flash wide open and look around to see if he'd been noticed. Miley saw every single one, counting them in her head as she faced the window, watching his reflection, knowing he couldn't see. She took in his appearance. His elbow leant on the door and she smiled watching him as his elbow continually slipped from the plastic covering. His hair fell in his eyes and she felt her fingers flex over and over again for a reason she couldn't comprehend. As the sun rose, she saw blood staining his shirt. She felt guilty as she watched the spots of blood rise and fall with the stubborn rise and fall of his chest and felt the need to apologise, not knowing the right words.

"You should get some sleep," she said as she tugged the blanket from the trunk over their legs, smoothing it out gently, "We've got a whole day of driving yet."

He looked around sleepily and smiled, "I'll sleep when I know your Dad's okay."

"I haven't had any phone service since the last time we stopped..." she said pointlessly and he checked his own cell phone. She was right. Always no service.

He nudged Mandy and Joe and reminded them it was time to swap again. Joe pulled over and stepped inside the gas station to buy more food and more supplies. The journey seemed never ending. Mandy excused herself to go to the restroom and left the two young teenagers looked down at their cell phones as though willing them to do something to entertain them.

"I should go call Mammie again..." she muttered uncomfortably, opening the door and stepping out, "I'll be right back..."

Her shoes kicked the dirt of the road as she held the phone buzzing to her ear. She waited yet again patiently for the phone to pick up, wondering what time it was and if anyone would be awake now that dark had returned and it was almost morning again.

"Hello? Mammie?"

"He's alive." Mammie instantly rushed relieved, "He's safe. He's out of danger. They just took him out of surgery, but he's got to have a lot more."

Miley held her head relieved, touching the bandage and reminding herself that Nick was waiting for this moment in order to go to sleep. She sighed and let a real smile climb onto her features, "Thank the Lord," she whispered, "I'll call you later, Mammie. If they call, tell them we're in Iowa. Love you."

"I love you too, Miley," Mammie said in her same old familiar tone, "Be safe."

She hung up and bounded quickly over to the car seeing Mandy and Joe walking back. She stopped however from yanking open the door and yelling when she noticed Nick inside the car. A deep breath entered her lungs as warmth spread throughout her at the sight of him.

He was wrapped into the blanket, his head resting gently onto the chair behind him. His hands were tucked under his face as his chest rose and fell gently with his breathing. She smiled and gently entered the car, sitting beside him. A blush crept over her as she looked over at her two best friends, checking they weren't watching, before she reached over and pulled the blanket across him, pushing her favourite curl out of his eyes.

She suddenly remembered Mammie's warning to be safe, a melancholy sigh escaping her as well as a sudden rush of hope that all too quickly made her ponder. She couldn't stop thinking that she didn't need to be safe. She had a guardian angel.

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**A/N: I'm gonna start working on chapter 27 asap. I also have a novel of my own that I'm working on, currently half way through and I should be working on that a lot too. **

**Stay tuned!**

**BM xo**


	27. There Once Was a Daddy’s Girl

**A/N: NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! **

**(Anyway... here's chapter 27. Enjoy folks)**

**NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK...

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**Chapter 27 - There once Was a Daddy's Girl (Beautiful Rescue)**

Mandy and Joe dropped them outside of the hospital that's address Mammie had reeled off to them on the phone a few hours previous to their arrival. They had made it to Jersey in record time, the car speeding to pull up outside at barely nine o'clock at night. Mandy and Joe had left Miley with Nick to go find a hotel for the night so they could all finally get a good night's sleep after the two days worth of driving that they had managed to soldier their way through. They were exhausted, stinky, revolting, gross and in dire need of some actual real food. Miley thanked God that Joe was getting up early to get the key to their old house from their Grandma, because if she'd of had to have spent the next heck knows how long in a hotel room trying to feel "at home" she didn't know what she would do. She needed some actual home-style comforting.

Nick followed silently behind her as she walked through the dim lit corridors of the hospital, hearing the wheezes and sounds of pain of some of the patients as she walked by, the nurses wandering from room to room with glasses and trays and paper cups of medication in their hands. His hands were in his pockets as he scuffed his shiny shoes along the rubber floor, two steps behind her still unsure of what was going on and whether or not it was right that he be there. He hadn't wanted to leave her, but had been weary of staying if she didn't want him to. His turmoil had been consoled by Joe and Mandy's demands that he follow her and make sure she knew where she was considering that Nick knew _exactly_ where he was; he'd been _born_ here. All Nick could think, as he wandered aimlessly down the corridor behind her, was that it was useless him being here with her when she obviously probably just wanted to be alone with her family until the morning.

But still he stayed behind her, following her unsure lead as she headed through the corridors, each looking the same as the last, trying to find her way. He was sure that he would always stay. He _had _to stay… for his own well-being than anyone else's. He had to be sure that she was going to be okay.

The pair of them came to a halt outside of what appeared to be a heavily secure corridor with bodyguards and barriers. Nick stood beside her and watched as she pushed past the apparently pointless barriers and walked silently past the guards to find her mother sitting on a chair outside of the large wooden door that lead into the private hospital room.

He stared as she tentatively wandered over to the door, glancing back at her mother, making sure she hadn't awoken. Her eyes were large and awake, sparkling blue around the room and almost making his eyes hurt at the sight of them. He could see she was hurting when she reached forward and gripped at the hard plastic handle, slowly pressing her weight down on it and pushing the door open. His head tilted to the side and he could see within slightly as she cracked the door and looked at the man she called her father.

He could see the bandages and the bruises and the machines that were whirring around his body. He saw the familiar figure of the man he had once respected and who Miley admired and loved. He looked angry; an empty a shell of the man he had once been, hate and pain eating away at him as he lay silently alone with no one beside him making him smile. He was awake, but he was staring into space. Nick heard Miley's breath hitch in her throat when Billy's eyes snapped menacingly to hers, a scowl forming over his pained face.

It was then that the screaming started.

"GET OUT! DON'T LOOK AT ME!" he screamed and within seconds she was away from the door and pressed back against the wall behind her, wide-eyed and broken. This was her father, the man who had once showed her only love and devotion. Now he looked at her like she was a stranger, "I DON'T WANT YOU ANYWHERE NEAR ME!"

Her mother was awake by this time, the bodyguards looking from Miley to Nick in awe and confusion. Tish ran to Billy's aid as he continued to struggle in his bed, the machines whirring and nurses running quickly to calm him down, drugs and syringes in their hands as his eyes sparked red with anger and betrayal.

"DID YOU HEAR ME?!" he screamed louder than the usually soft spoken father both Nick and Miley was used to and it was surreal and unusual to see him that way, "GET... OUT!!"

Her eyes flew away from him and to the floor, brimming with tears as Nick attempted to step towards her. She looked at him quickly as her feet began to move, speeding past him and running back down the corridors, her shoes clicking on the floor tiles in even rhythmical patters of rubber on rubber. He stood stationary where he was listening and watching the space she had vacated as her mother returned back to the corridor and looked at him in deep misunderstanding confusion.

He shot her a sorry smile, his mind itching into gear and spun on his expensive Italian heals running after her.

He stopped when he reached the entrance shortly after she did in just enough time to see her legs collapse from beneath her again, her body slumping hopelessly down onto her knees as she sobbed and sobbed sharing her despair and her pain with the rest of the parking lot. Her hair fell into her face and her hands reached up to hold the moistness of her cheeks in her hands, catching the tears as though attempting to save the emotion and store them for when she felt empty. Her body shook as she cried and it hurt him to see her so alone.

Without even thinking, he stepped beside her and knelt down onto the floor grabbing her by the arms and tugging her back into his chest as they both fell to sit on on the sidewalk. He shook her from side to side as she let the sobs take over her body, helping her to let go for a little while and open up just for a few moments to not be strong.

She whimpered gently when he pressed his lips to her forehead and wrapped his coat around her, his arms completely engulfing her body in his much recently larger frame and body shape.

"It's going to be okay," he said as he repeated his actions over and over again, letting her grip onto the fabric of his shirt, an arm wrapped around his back beneath his coat, "It's going to be fine."

And for a moment, she believed him.

* * *

She was unimpressed by the six stitches she required to her hairline after Nick made her get her head checked out for anything other than a huge bloody gash. She was fine apart from the stitches and walked from the hospital behind him, rearranging her hair so that it covered her wound (She failed miserably due to the large white bandage covering it) muttering that all she wanted was somewhere to sleep and something to eat, maybe a drink if she could be bothered to gather the energy to drink it.

She watched as Nick led her over to a cabby on the side of the road and handed him a wad of cash, the pair talking in low voices as the man smiled in awe. What on earth was Nick planning? It hurt too much for her to think thanks to the massive headache she was currently in possession of, that also made her in dire need of a Tylenol and a large fluffy pillow because of it. She clutched a hand to her head as Nick shook hands with the man and nodded finally standing to look at her, opening up the back door of the cab and indicating for her to get in.

"Why don't we just call Mandy and Joe?"

"They'll be sleeping."

"It's only been an hour and a half. They probably haven't even found a hotel yet," she concurred gently, "We don't even know where they are to follow them."

Nick smiled charmingly, "We're not following after Joe and Mandy. We're going back to our house in Wyckoff."

Miley stared at him shocked and confused for a moment, wondering if the knock to the head had suddenly made her forget something. She was sure that neither Nick or Joe, or even Kevin had a key to their old house because they weren't trusted to be in the house by themselves.

He laughed gently and tugged on her arm, pulling something from his pocket and waving it in front of her eyes until it was out of focus. All she could see was the key shape to it as the smell of metal wafted into her nose, "Mom gave me the key before we got in the car in LA. She said not to tell Joe yet because he'll probably end up losing it."

She smiled, "So you've had the key this whole time and you made your brother and his girlfriend go and rent a hotel room for the night instead of letting him sleep in his own bed?"

Nick let out a quick burst of laughter and shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know about you, but I sure don't want to be kept up anymore than I need to be by Joe and Mandy making out."

Disgust flashed on Miley's face and she nodded quickly with a grimace, "Good point. Lead the way."

* * *

In the years that she'd known him, he'd never brought her here, to this house, the place where he obviously grew up. She always talked about the farm in Nashville, but she'd never realised that he had his own version in a small quiet suburb in New Jersey. There wasn't much to it, but she didn't care. She suddenly, even from standing outside it in early hours of the morning, could see everything in his life before she and fame had entered it. This was his home. This was his safety.

"Wow..."

He stepped from beside her and smiled as she gawped up at the homely building, "This is where I grew up," he muttered and she could hear the exhaustion seeping from his voice again, "It's not much... but it's home when we want it to be."

"It's amazing," she whispered, a yawn escaping her, "I've never been here before..."

He blushed and it made her smile. He grabbed hold of her hand and tugged it gently, pulling her towards the house, up the lawn and over the driveway until they were at the white doorway. He put the key in the lock and had to push the door hard when it got stuck; bursting open to a house filled with everything distinctly them, his family, their unit, their life. This was more of a home than any of their other houses they had. Even though she was sure it hadn't been inhabited for months if not years, she could still smell all of them bustling around the house and singing, making music, preaching the lords good will, loving and caring about each other.

"How bout I give you the tour tomorrow?" He chuckled as she leant against the doorframe yawning, eyes fluttering closed.

She smiled thankfully and followed after him as he wandered up the small staircase faced with a hallway filled with many different closed doors.

"Wait here." he said as he wandered to the room at the end of the corridor and walked inside only to emerge minutes later carrying a pile of old clothes that had probably been left behind. He smiled and held them up, "these were brand new before we left. Mom used to store all our new clothes in the laundry room and for some reason when never thought to take these with us."

He handed her a plain white t-shirt and some boxer shorts and smiled as she gratefully took them.

"You look like you need to get out of that dress..."

She looked down at herself, blood stained, sweaty and covered in the dirt of too many unclean places they'd been over the last three days and blushed embarrassed. Nervously she reached up to push her hair away from her eyes, trying her best to continue her attempts to cover up the bandage that covered her head, even though he'd seen it anyway. He rolled his eyes at her, knowing she couldn't see and turned to the door behind him. He clutched at the handle, and just like it always did when his Grandma stayed, the door stuck in the frame and he had to force his body weight against it to open it, just like every other door in the house. This was the worst door in the house, though. It was like a prison if it stuck the wrong way, and made it impossible to get out of without help. Sometimes Nick had been sure that his Grandma's naps hadn't been so long from exhaustion, but because she was too stubborn to ask for help opening the door to get out.

"This is the guestroom," he said to her, even though it was obvious from the homely way it was decorated with the typical Denise Jonas finishing touches, "There's a shower room and a sink and everything attached to it… through that door there…" he pointed to the right of two doors and smiled, "Mom says you're welcome here as long as you like… just so you're comfortable while your Dad's sick."

Her face changed at the mention of her father, her hands clutching behind her back as she leant against the doorframe. He could see her discomfort, her pain and worry as he squeezed past her to get back outside the door. He watched the turmoil on her face as she moved across to clutch at the door handle, forcing a smile as she began to close it behind her.

She nodded, "Thanks."

He smiled at her, and put his hands in his pockets, "Goodnight, Miley."

"Goodnight," she smiled quietly to him, as he watched her close the door with a click.

He sighed worried; more for her than for her father and the rest of her family. He knew her. She hated that he did, but he knew her and he could tell when she was worried. She was terrified and she was scared, for too many opposing and different reasons that he couldn't even begin to comprehend thinking about and understanding all at once. His palms rested against either side of the guestroom door for a moment, his eyes falling closed as he leant against the door and sighed solemnly for her, and for their situation. Part of him wanted to take this opportunity to spend some time with her, to prove to her that he was different, just like he'd planned to take her to breakfast at Paty's and do. But above everything, more than even spending time with her, he wanted to make sure she was okay. He would do anything she wanted him to in order to make sure that she was okay and that she was safe. Anything.

He jumped, when the door opened quickly, the crack of the wood in the frame, making his features contort for a moment, his eyes continuing to stay closed and not look at her as she was obviously standing there before him. He blinked once and looked up at her, just in her dress, barefoot and hair curling around her face like she'd tried to remove her dress and decided against it. She smiled at him nervously and he watched the shape of her shoulders as they rose momentarily, before slumping back down calmly in explanation.

"I don't want to be alone…" she said before he could even ask her what was wrong. His heart jumped at the words, trying not to be too hopeful that she was finally letting him in… but only just. She sighed and shrugged her shoulders, her face pained at her words, almost like she didn't want to even think them let alone say them to _him_, "I'm afraid."

He shifted on his feet and stretched his neck, trying his best not to let his internal turmoil of what to do become noticeable on his face. He watched her face, her big blue eyes glistening at him, begging him to help her, before he nodded, removed his hand from the wall and pushed the door open further. She smiled stepping backwards as he walked in, closing the door behind him, until once again, it closed, with a heavy, air punctuating click.

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**NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! NILEY'S BACK! **

**Yayyy :) **

**PS. Next Chapter... is gonna be really romantic... **

**:)**


	28. Sleep Perchance To Dream

**A/N: I called this a romantic chapter... but you decide. I think it's romantic in a subconscious, they-don't-know-it-but we-do... dramatically ironic kind of way...**

**These next chapters, kinda remind me of Bob Dylan songs... in the way that they are all wintery and need folk songs to be listened to as you read them.

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**Chapter 28 – Sleep Perchance To Dream**

_7am_

The first thing she noticed when she woke up, was that she wasn't in her own bed, but in someone else's bed in a room that was a lot colder than her own, covered in more blankets and quilts than she had on her own bed and that it was substantially smaller sized than her own bed, her body almost falling off the edge. The second thing that she realised upon waking up was that she wasn't alone, and that was probably why there wasn't much room left in the bed. In fact, there was hardly any space at all between Miley and her bed-mates body's, her back pressed up against a large muscular, hard chest, that she could hardly recognise. Whoever she was sharing this unfamiliar bed with, she was spooning them, letting their heavy arms drape around her waist and hold her tight against their front, more than likely to stop her from rolling off the edge of the bed that she was lying so closely to than anything else.

She shifted, bleary-eyed as the hand attached to the end of the arm wrapped around her waist, began to rub and flex its muscles against her stomach, bringing her in tighter. She sighed and went with the movement, pleased by the comfort and relaxed by the sensation. She closed her eyes, her hand finding its way to press a hand over the one pressed to her stomach, eyes opening at the cold feeling of the metal ring touching her skin. She opened her eyes and tried not to groan at her stupidity. She looked down and saw his hands against the t-shirt he had given her, noticed that his legs were touching hers as he wore only his boxer shorts and what appeared to be his undershirt.

She raised a hand to her face and covered her eyes, mind instantly realising that this was the first time she'd ever been in bed with Nick. Her mind rushed before she could control it, and she instantly couldn't stop herself from thinking that at one time this occurrence should have happened in much different circumstances. Miley couldn't stop her mind from thinking that perhaps she should feel a little happier about her situation and that she should try and remember it for the future, so at least she could say that she'd experienced this.

Guilt overwhelmed her when all of a sudden she felt disappointed at the fact that it wasn't happening in other circumstances; that this was all happening only because her father had nearly been killed and not because she'd forgiven him; that the world was still as messed up as ever. She chastised herself for even thinking of herself and of something as irrelevant as Nick when her father was in hospital looking sicker than ever and that she couldn't be there with him… because he didn't want her to be.

The last thing Miley was aware of upon waking up, was that it was only seven in the morning, she'd only been asleep a few hours and that it was too early to be awake. Also she realised that it was cold out and she was chilly, so to solve both her problems, she closed her eyes, pulled the blankets up around them and settled herself deeper into the arms wrapped around her. It was only then, that she could fall peacefully back to sleep.

* * *

_11am_

He thought he was dreaming when he woke up. Situations like the one he was currently placed in he'd shamelessly dreamt about for the past year of his life without her. His mind always played tricks on him when he was asleep, making him believe that she was right there with him. Often he dreamt that it was ten years in the future and they were married; the rings on their fingers replaced with the perfect specimens of wedding rings he'd once or twice found himself looking at without realising. Sometimes, she would smile at him, and say nothing. Sometimes she'd kiss him. Sometimes she'd laugh as their children wandered in through the door and jumped upon them. There was always four kids in his dream… and he could always hear more in the background. He wanted a big family, just like they had big families. They _would_ one day have a big family together. He couldn't shake himself of the idea.

But he wasn't dreaming when he felt her body shift against him. Her face buried in the pillow beside her, hiding from the sun as it snuck in through the gap in the drapes. There was nothing unreal about the way that his arms were wrapped around her waist, his chin buried into the crook of her neck as though they were building blocks fitting together like perfect pieces of a puzzle. There was no trickery in the way that she was peacefully asleep next to him. She was really there… she was actually there. She was letting him hold her. She had her hands resting on the muscles of his forearms wrapped around her waist. She was subconsciously letting him in… and he couldn't ask for more.

A smile broke out upon his face as he leant up slightly to look at her. He laughed as he saw her hair covering her eyes and making her nose twitch as it tickled it in her slumber. He watched her for a few more moments, just watching her face as she slept… remembering it for the time when normality would return and he wouldn't be allowed such pleasures anymore. He smiled as he imprinted her face onto his memory, made it accessible for any moment he may want to remember it, and sighed content.

He wriggled his arm free from around her waist, careful not to wake her. He reached his fingers up to her cheek, paused tentatively before pushing her hair away from her eyes and behind her ear, letting himself have the pleasure of feeling the sensation of the cheeks he'd felt so many times before, but could barely remember. How had he let her go? How had he even been stupid enough to do all those stupid things back then? She was perfect. Absolutely perfect. Why hadn't he been able to see that?

He shook his head ashamed of himself and leant forward to kiss her on the newly visible temple. He let his lips taste her skin beneath his and smiled against her as he tasted antiseptic and the soap she'd used from the bathroom before she'd got into bed. He left his lips there, unable to let go, breathing her, tasting her skin and just letting his senses be flooded by her until he was dizzy and high with the rush. He consumed what he could, until she sighed deeply, contently, shuffling back into his body and searching for the lack of contact he'd taken away from her, leaving smile on Nick's lips. He shook his head, resettling back against her body, wrapping his arms around her body and falling asleep again, a smile blazing his face.

* * *

_3:30pm_

She woke up and groaned slightly at the bright white light of the winter weather outside beaming in through the drapes. She lifted a hand, running it over her eyes and remembering where she was instantly, not worrying about the fact that she was still lying in the arms of the boy she was supposed to dislike, and had adamantly expressed her hatred for on more than one occasion. Instead of caring, she tugged the blankets around them, tucking her leg back beneath the covers bringing an abrupt stop to the pendulum her leg was forming over the side of the bed.

She blinked a little, looking around the still half-unfamiliar room and took in its appearance. It was full of familiar looking objects, the usual style that the family often decorated their rooms and was covered in pictures of four younger looking brothers and their equally wonderful parents. It was so unfamiliar that at the same time it felt too familiar. It felt like she belonged there in that slightly hard, but inhumanly comfortable bed. She felt like she should be part of the decor, that her face should be imprinted onto the walls in photographs just like they were. It was a strange feeling, but it was one that she couldn't shake.

She blinked, eyes open and clearly seeing as she searched over for the clock. 3:30pm. She was still tired, still exhausted from days of travelling and the emotional butt-whooping she'd had as of late. They probably both were. Why else would he still be lying in bed with her sound asleep if he wasn't as grumpy and exhausted as she was?

She sighed, leaning back and looking at him peacefully asleep. She could imagine him being the person he used to be when he was dreaming away and not looking at her with those eyes of his, letting them remind her of everything that had happened. While he was asleep he was just Nick, just the boy that she'd once been in love with. He couldn't hurt her, couldn't look at her, couldn't make her feel pain. He could just hold her, make her feel safe and reminded of a time when everything was easy.

She turned over and looked at him, felt his arms lift in his sleep to allow her to do so before wrapping around her and pulling her in tightly against his chest, her head reaching to tuck under his neck as he did so. She paused for a moment, breath catching in her throat and a tentative worry flooding her senses for a second, before she sighed and let herself wrap her arms around his waist, and fall straight back to sleep.

* * *

_8pm_

He really thought she would have stormed away and out of the house by the time he woke up again, but when he woke up, found the room basked in the return of darkness, he was shoked to find her still lying beside him. Her face was illuminated with blue from the moon, features shadowed until he could see every beautiful contour of her face. Her body was pressed against him, until he could feel every shape of her body against his own, her head tucked underneath his chin. Her hand was bunched up in the fabric of his t-shirt, fingers stubbornly hanging onto the white fabric like she would never give up her grip and let go.

He sighed, looked over her shoulder at the clock that read 8pm and smiled in realisation that it had been over twelve hours since they'd returned to his home and gone to bed and she was still beside him, her proximity increasing as the hours went on. Her hair, yet again, was in her face, covering half of her features. He reluctantly pulled his arm from around her waist, sweaty from where it had rested on the skin of her back beneath her t-shirt, and pushed the hair from her face with the tip of his finger. He watched her shift and sigh and pulled his hand away to make sure she stayed asleep, slightly terrified of what would happen if she woke up.

He watched her, staying still for a few moments, before he moved his hand down to hers on his t-shirt and slowly began to prize her stubborn fingers away from the fabric. He smiled as her grip refused him, still holding on tightly giving him no way to stop her. He looked at her placid features again, finding them unmoved and gave up, stroking over her hands for his own amusement.

His fingertips grrazed over her skin, taking in the feel of each knuckle, each curve and each patch of skin. They still felt the same; that was all he could think about. Even after everything they had been through her skin was still as soft as it as always been, not at all rough and tough from the amount of hatred and pain she'd been through. She was still as soft and gentle as she'd always been, not that many people could believe it, but she was. She was delicate.

He held his breath as her hand unbunched itself from his t-shirt, released her grasp and instead grabbed hold of the fingers and palm that had been stroking it. His body stopped completely, watching her worm her fingers into his, palms pressing against each other as she sighed and shifted into him. He gulped, eyes closing reluctantly as he let the strength of her grip lull him into sleep, ease him into joining her. She was letting go... and as he fell into a dreamless sleep, so was he.

* * *

_11pm_

She smiled when she woke up, the first time she'd smiled upon waking in a very long time. She didn't feel confused, or lost... or out of place, she felt completely at peace, completely rested and reluctant to wake up. Her eyes fluttered open, seeing the expanse of Nick's neck as she did so, the smell of his skin flooding her senses and making her eyes flutter closed again. A sigh left her reluctantly. Her head turned around with a struggle to see that the clock now read 11pm at night. She didn't care however, her mind was more concerned by the fact that her hand was entwined into Nick's, their grips unrelenting and refusing.

An irritated relaxed sigh left her as she buried her head further into his chest, grip tightening, senses gladly becoming clouded by him as she did so. She wrapped her leg around his, holding herself to him gently, as she squeezed his hand, feeling him squeeze back, before she closed her eyes again, and prayed to God that it hadn't been her who grabbed his hand first.

* * *

**A/N: How was that? **

**And thanks for everyone asking about my exams... I haven't actually done them yet. They finish on Friday and then I'm into full blown getting ready for uni and moving away from home for the first time mode :)****  
Here's an update of what happens next:  
****Chapter 29: Miley returns to the hospital to talk to her mom.  
Chapter 30: Miley and Nick reminisce  
Chapter 31: Serious retail therapy :)  
Chapter 32: Someone helps Miley fall asleep  
Chapter 33: Serious domestic bliss  
Chapter 34: Miley makes a phone call  
Chapter 35: Frank Sinatra Lovin' **

**R&R :) xxx**


	29. The Reality and the Refusal

**A/N: Exams are over *does a dance***

**So I thought I'd update, however it's hard to type at the moment because I've hurt my hand and can't really move my hand. I also had my Cervical Cancer vaccination and now my arm**_** really hurt**_**s... even after three days. I personally think it's cos my friends keep hitting it. **

**Here's chapter 29 :)

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**

**Chapter 29 – The Reality and the Refusal**

She was sitting on the chair by the window when he woke up, her blue eyes pale and sparkling as a blanket from the bed they had shared hung around her shoulders. He frowned as she silently stared at the view out of the window, her legs tucked up against her body. She looked completely torn, deep in thought and a little lost. He leant up on his elbows and waited for her to prompt him into speech, not sure if he wanted to ask her about the almost twenty-four hours they'd shared in bed together. It was probably best to wait until she was ready. He didn't want to make her angry, when he'd only just managed for her to keep calm around him.

"I need to go see my Dad again..." she muttered to him with a shy smile that made his heart flutter and his stomach drop.

He gulped and nodded, "And we should really go and see if we can find Joe and Mandy..." He laughed and shrugged his shoulders, "They're probably wondering where we are," He jumped from the bed and stretched, "I'll go find you some clothes... and then I'll call a cab."

She nodded and smiled thankfully, "Thanks Nick."

He looked back at her in the doorway and shrugged his shoulders, "It's no problem, Miley."

* * *

They couldn't find a cab but he managed to find her some old smaller sweats that he hadn't taken with him when they moved and a t-shirt that swamped her body. He'd guided her, still wrapping her body in warm clothes he'd found around the house, to the bus stop along the street that took them to the hospital. He stood there, helping her to put the hat over her bandage, smiling at her when she thanked him nervously and watched making sure that no one looked at them. They were so heavily dressed and layered that it was almost impossible to identify them through the tonnes of layers of clothing that covered them on the ice cold winter morning. Thier scarves covered their mouths until only their eyes were visible, hands covered in gloves and only inches of skin visible. If anyone recognised them, they were a genius, a stalker, or their own mothers.

They stepped onto the bus, Miley swiftly moving to sit at the back of the empty bus as Nick paid the elderly driver their fair. He sat opposite her in the other corner and face her, watching her shiver in the cold, pulling her clothes tighter around her.

"Cold?" he asked her as the bus started moving.

She smiled and shrugged her shoulders, "A little bit..." he saw her visibly gulp, "A little nervous too."

"Why?" he frowned blowing into his hands, thinking about how they still hadn't put heating on these stupid buses. They'd always been cold, even when he was a kid.

She smiled weakly, "I'm feeling a little bit hopeless about this whole seeing my dad thing."

Nick suddenly realised, his face fell and he nodded in understanding. Her cheeks turned pink and she looked out of the window away from him, looking across all the houses filled with families who had their own problems and their own things to worry about. Nick sighed didn't know what to say, he just stared at her for a few minutes waiting for something to come to him. He was a songwriter. Wasn't he meant to be good with words?

"I'm sure he was just a little upset after the accident."

She sighed, and she sounded a little irritated, "I haven't spoken to my father in a civil conversation since the night at the City Of Hope concert," she explained still looking out of the window, "I some how doubt that's why he was upset. I think it's more to do with the sight of me."

Nick didn't know what to say, instead he let the cliche fall from his lips, "I'm sorry."

She was silent, and he could see the tears forming in the corners of her eyes refusing to fall down her cheeks where he could and might catch them. Her arms tightened around her body and she continued to look away.

"He could have died, ya know?" she whispered, her voice struggling with the emotion fighting through it, "He could have died and I wouldn't have ever have got to explain things to him... told him how I really feel... told him that I love him..." she shrugged her shoulders and gulped, "and he would have died hating me."

Nick shook his head and stood up, he sat down in the seat next to her, grabbed her hand and squeezed it tightly.

"He doesn't hate you..."

She smiled and shrugged her shoulders, "Maybe... I don't know anymore."

"Everything's going to be okay..." he whispered to her, attempting to squeeze her hands one last time, before letting go.

But she wouldn't let him, her hand squeezed his and held tightly onto it. He looked down at their hands entwined and to her face still looking out of the window and gulped nervously. So many things were happening, so many things that could get his hopes up... but he couldn't let them. There were more important things than his own hopes and desires... like her.

* * *

"You had the key the whole time?! I spent all that cash on the damn _Honeymoon _suite... Risked potentially fatal media coverage and you had the key the whole time?!?" Joe screamed as they stood waiting in the hospital entrance for Miley's mother to come and find them, "I could kill you if I wasn't in the right place for someone to save you! You're an ass!!"

"Can you keep it down!" Nick hissed, trying to calm him, eyes shooting at the people around them, they hadn't seemed to have noticed, "We didn't get out of the hospital until three in the morning and I was specifically told not to give you the key!"

Joe opened his mouth to protest, but it was Mandy who covered his mouth, shaking her head and nodding her head towards a nervous Miley who sat on the uncomfortable seats waiting for her mother and Brandi, "Stop talking. No one gives a crap that you had to pay for a hotel. We're here for Miley."

Nick cocked his eyebrow at Joe, recieving a scowl in return as they walked over to Miley, meeting Tish and Brandi on their way. Nick wanted to reach out and hold Miley as she stood up nervously, smoothing out the layers of his clothing that she wore.

"How is he?" She stuttered nervously, reaching out for Mandy's hand, "Can I see him?"

Her mother shook her head and looked to the floor, "I'm sorry Miley..."

"What?" Miley asked confused. She looked to Brandi for answers, "What does 'Sorry, Miley' even mean?"

Brandi shook her head before moving away back to the doors, "He doesn't want to see you."

Miley's eyes widened and she looked around, her cheeks blushing in embarrasment, "Are you serious?"

Her mother nodded guiltily, and all Miley wanted to do was to scream and tell her to be on her side for once, because she was being a complete idiot at the moment. They both were.

"I need you to go back to L.A.-"

"No."

"Miley..." her mother said warningly, "I need you to go back to L.A. and get Mammie... you know she doesn't like flying on her own... you can take the jet and it'll be okay... you'll be back by the morning..."

"No."

"Miley!"

"I'm not going..." she looked around at them all, "I'm not going... this _isn't_ my fault and I don't know why I'm being punished for him being a complete idiot about everything!"

"Miley! This isn't about you! This is about the fact that you're father nearly died and I need you to do this for me!"

"Well I'm not doing it!" she yelled, and everyone was looking at her, "Why should I when he doesn't even give a crap about me?! I'm going to freaking stay here until he lets me see him."

She parked herself on the chair and folded her arms like a brat, crossing her legs as her feet tapped the air. Tish looked down at her and around to her friends with an annoyance on her face that said it all. She looked like she'd hardly slept, like everything was all a bit much and this wasn't what she needed.

It was Joe that spoke up first, looking over at Mandy with a sigh.

"We'll go get Mammie..." Mandy nodded at him in understanding, "We'll take the car there... and fly back..." he looked across at Nick, "Nick can stay with Miley at our old house... as long as they don't kill each other..."

Tish thanked them, handed them a wad of cash from her purse to pay for their gas, and kissed them both on the cheek as they walked away. Nick watched Miley as she saw them walk away, her eyes angry and her face stern and fierce.

Tish shook her head, "He doesn't want to see you."

Miley looked up at her, a heavy teenage roll of her eyes visible to everyone.

"FINE!" she stood up and let her arms fly up at her sides as she began to walk away out of the hospital and onto the street, pulling up her hood over her head and kicking items of trash on her way.

Nick looked at Tish, ready to run after her until she was gripping at his hand and pressing something into his palm, "I'm sorry..." she said with a gentle smile that Nick could find no sympathy with, "I've increased her allowance for now... buy what she needs... take care of her."

He frowned as she let go and walked away from him back inside with the silent Brandi following them. He looked down at his hand and saw Miley's trusty credit card. He shook his head and rolled his eyes, chasing after her.

* * *

"Miley..."

"Shut up, Nick!" she warned as she threw things inside the supermarket cart, not actually looking at half the prices, just continuously throwing all kinds of tasty comfort eating treats into the cart without a second thought, "I don't need you to tell me everything's going to be okay! I know its all lies! He's a fool... but it's not like I don't deserve it..."

"Miley..." he tried again as she approached the last ailse. He'd found her in the supermarket five minutes after leaving the hospital, knowing her a little too well for her own good, "What are you doing? You haven't-"

"I'm stocking up for the time ahead... I'm no charity leach on your family..." she grunted as she hauled a crate of diet coke into the cart, "I can pay for my own stuff..."

He sighed and watched as she wheeled the cart to the cashier with speed and purpose, "But Miley..."

"No! I'm not going to just sit around and let you completely change up your life because I'm in it... I'll pay..." She loaded the items to the teenage cashier who just gawped, mouth wide-open at the two teen stars standing in front of her, completely baffled, "I don't want you to have to look after me... I can pay for myself..."

Nick nodded and waited as the girl tallied up all the items, the price going up higher and higher as the two teen stars watched it... slowly incresing into triple figures.

"That's 142.50..." the girl said nervously looking around at the little digital screen so as to prove herself.

Miley smiled and put her hands into her pockets before the realisation of her poverty set in and she fished for the few quarters and dollar bills she'd had stowed away into her dress a few nights previous. She gulped and looked up at the girl.

"Dollars?"

The girl nodded.

Miley sighed and turned to Nick her cheeks turning pink, only to find him standing there, her credit card held up between their faces, an amused smile on his face that said it all.

She simply smiled, unamused and snatched it off of him, handing it to the girl, who finished their transaction, and timidly asked for their autographs on a back of a receipt.

* * *

**a/n: How was that? Short chapter next chapter. If I get five reviews before I go to bed... I might update it too... it's not really worthy of a proper update :)**

**PS. Don't drink during the day kids... it really makes you feel worse as the days goes on... you know... if you're old enough to drink... **


	30. Aim High

**A/N: I know that I said I was going to update twice the other night. But I was too tired and processing too much alchol and exhaustion that I couldn't stay up long enough. Therefore, here is chapter 30, which is a little longer than I thought it was. **

**PS. The performance of before the storm last night in dallas has simply put the stamp of verification on the fact that Niley is back for me. Otherwise, that was some awfully shameless eye-smexxing that Miss Cyrus was doing to that poor boy ;) **

**xo

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**

**Chapter 30 - Aim High**

"I wish I could fly…" she sighed as the swing went higher and higher into the atmosphere with her movements.

He clung to Frankie's jungle gym, his body hanging over the bars as he watched her with a smirk, eating the bag of chips that she'd handed him with a smile and told him to help his self to. She'd then thrown the bags onto the lawn and climbed onto the swing, her body instantly moving higher and higher, her hair flying through the wind as he watched her silently in awe at how amazingly normal she looked for once.

"That's impossible."

His words stopped her movements, her body slowing until she gently came to rest came to rest with her feet on the floor. She stared at him and shook her head, gloved hands wrapped around the chains of the swing. Her chest heaved with slight exhaustion, air coming out of her mouth in puffs of white water vapour.

"Nothing's impossible," she shrugged looking at him so intently that all he could do was smile, wider than he'd remember doing in a long time.

She smiled back, unstoppably, her entire face contorting to match the same unnamed happiness that he expressed across his features. The smile, as she slowly rocked backwards and forwards on the swing, made her feel awkwardly safe and calm; her eyes relaxing as she looked at him, her features softening as she momentarily forgot the reason she was sat in his backyard for. All that seemed to matter was the way that he was looking at her, like he'd never actually seen her before, a completely different person to what she was used to seeing. He looked happy, caring... calm. She could tell he was at peace with his life... and tried to shake the feeling that it was only because she was there.

"So..." she coughed, breaking their gaze and looking down at the floor, "What is there to do around here when you look like crap?"

Nick shrugged, apparently noticing her discomfort but not saying anything, "There's always shopping in New York... it's only a two hour bus ride away."

Miley laughed at him and cocked and eyebrow, "Because that wouldn't be at all dangerous if me and you, two very famous people, got off of a bus in Manhattan... me wearing your old clothes with a bandage on my forehead."

Nick seemed unbothered by her point and shrugged her shoulders, "So we'll go in disguise..."

She smiled, "What... like Batman and Robin?"

"No," he laughed, "like the real us..."

She gulped uncomfortably and shook her head slightly to pull herself together, "Maybe another day..." she nodded, "I don't... feel like doing anything today except sitting around and feeling sorry for myself..."

Nick nodded and looked around.

"You wanna watch a movie?" he asked nonchalantly, "I'll order us a pizza..." she opened her mouth to protest, before he laughed...

"I'll let you pay."

* * *

"The fire's nice."

Nick looked up as he threw some more logs onto the fire he'd just struggled to light and smiled at her, "It's warm and that's all that matters... I never realised that mom turned the heating off... I'm sorry."

Miley shook her head, staring into the flames from her curled up position on the couch, "It's fine..."

He looked over at her, still staring into space. They'd been in the living room for three hours, trying to keep warm, watching the TV with the volume low. She was just wearing his t-shirt and shorts again, her body wrapped in blankets as the still uneaten pizzas sat on the coffee table between them. She looked bored or deep in thought, and he couldn't decipher which she was feeling from the blank expression on her face. He assumed that there was a lot going on in her head, multiple different things that he would never be able to know or understand, and he was okay with that as long as he was able to help her to stay sane and calm as she went through them. He was just here to help, nothing else... he would do anything in order to make sure that she was okay.

"Here..." he said crawling on his knees over to a desk in the corner of the room, opening up the cupboard and reaching inside. She looked over at him as he pulled out an old laptop, and handed it to her, "I know it's probably killing you not being able to check everything..."

She smiled and took it from him with a grateful smile, opening the lid and turning it on.

"Lets see all the crappy speculation, shall we?"

She waited patiently, looking at the screen as the computer started itself up and glared into her eyes. She paused as she looked at the old wallpaper of the computer... before looking over at Nick with an unimpressed, annoyed glare as he tried to keep the fire alight. His old acoustic guitar was in his hands as he slowly played, his music louder than the TV but not enough to block out her thoughts. She ignored him, staring back at the wallpaper of an old picture of them smiling, happy and together, quickly changing it without his knowledge and signing onto the internet.

The stories weren't as bad as she thought. People knew what had happened; there were quotes from police officers at the scene of the accident on record saying that they her father had been involved in an accident and no further details would be given unless by the family. Then there were small, undetailed quotes from her father's publiscist and her own, saying that he was currently having treatment and to leave the entire family alone in order to be together 'at this difficult time'. There were pictures of the accident, of the completely trashed bus and the truck that had seemed to come off undamaged in the ordeal. She clicked away from them nervously, before clicking on something altogether more annoying that reminded her exactly of what kind of trouble she was in.

She slammed the screen closed, and looked away from it, biting her fingernail and forcing away tears.

"What's wrong?"

She sighed, half-hoping he hadn't noticed and shook her head, "Nothing..."

"Liar."

She shook her head, grit her jaw and turned to stare at him, "That's the only problem with being famous... you're always a liar... and you're always in some way reminded of how stupid you are."

He looked confused.

"These pictures..." She opened the laptop again and turned it to him showing him the leaked pictures of her from the last year, "Have ruined me... and I don't even know how I'm meant to convince people of what they otherwise already think they know about me. As I get older, everything I once wanted to prove about myself - that I'm a role model - it's all ruined by these pictures and by people who like to make me to be a liar."

Nick puffed out a loud exhale of breath, closing the lid and averting his eyes from the pictures of her in her underwear, kissing that stupid Thomas boy... just general stupidity in photographic form, and looked at her questioningly.

"What did you take them for?" She looked at him confused, not understanding the question, before he carried on, "_Why_ did you take them_?_"

She shook her head at him, "You know why I took them... I took them to send them to you... for you to see..."

He shook his head, "Why did you take them at all... why did you even want me to see these pictures of you like this?"

She bowed her head embarrassed as he kneeled in front of her, "I don't know... I guess I just wanted to remind you of what you had..." she paused and shrugged, "...what you lost... make you jealous..."

She looked up when he laughed, a smile and a blush covering his cheeks.

"I'm already jealous, Miley..." he shrugged away the awkwardness that she continued to feel, "But I already know how beautiful you are..." her breath hitched and he didn't notice, "I don't need a picture to prove it."

She looked at him a moment, eyes drifting from his brown ones to the soft swell of his lips. Her breath stayed hitched in her throat as she did so. Something was flooding through her that she could barely remember feeling before. She forced it away, gulped and jumped nervously to her feet, face stern again.

"You okay?" he asked narrowing his eyes at her in confusion.

She nodded, "I'm going to bed..."

He nodded as she walked to the door, wrapping the blanket around her. She got to the doorway and looked back at him with a smile. He was no longer staring at her, instead looking at the screen of the computer in deep thought. She paused, watching him for a moment, as he clicked off of the window and turned it off, grabbing his guitar, and playing again, looking deep into the dying embers of the fire.

_Sleep_... she told herself as she felt her heart thud in her chest, hesitating as she stepped away from the living room, _Sleep is best.

* * *

_

**A/N: If you're frustrated withe the tip-toeing... it's only going to get worse over the next few chapters. I like to build on that tension. **

**Review and I'll update as quick as I can... :) xxxx**


	31. A False Normality

**A/N: Can someone please tell me what the NJK Awards are...? and inform me to my involvement in them...? LOL. I feel like such an idiot. I'm so confused. **

**LONGER CHAPTER :D  
**

**Here's chapter 31. Almost there guys :)

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**

**Chapter 31 - A False Normality**

"Do you think you have enough clothes?" he teased as he helped her carry her mass amount of bags, while struggling to clutch his one lone bag of must needed items, "Because we can go back and buy you another truck load if you'd like."

She rolled her eyes at him and hoisted a bag onto her shoulder as it slipped, "You heard what momma said on the phone this morning. He's going to be here for weeks... and I need to have choice..." he cocked an eyebrow at her, "Fine! And I couldn't decide!"

He smiled at her and stopped looking around at their position, now dressed in head to toe in new clean clothing, hats and scarves covering their identities as they walked the streets of New York City in the winter. They could have been recognised if it wasn't for the freak flash storm of sleat and snow that had begun as they got on the bus early that morning. No one seemed to want to recognise anyone else as they fought their way through the haze of white; everyone rushing to the safety of their homes and workplaces. Nick and Miley would have probably lost each other if she hadn't of grabbed his finger to hold onto as they walked. He tried not to think too much of it, and knew that it was just so that she didn't get lost in the unfamiliar place. There was no other reason for her to do such a thing... he kept telling himself so.

She'd been weird with him since he'd called her beautiful the night previous. For a moment, as he sat playing guitar on the couch, he thought he'd blown it and that she didn't like it. But twenty minutes after she'd 'gone to bed', she returned and told him she could not sleep. He'd patted the couch beside him and handed her some candy, and slowly searched the shelves for a movie he knew she'd like. She'd stopped him when he reached Frankie's Disney movies and asked him to put on his favourite. He'd slipped Peter Pan into the DVD player and had sat down beside her. The next thing he'd realised was that it was morning, and that she was asleep on his chest with his arm around her shoulders.

He caught sight of her pause as they reached Times Square, her eyes drifting up to where the Rockin' Eve Studios usually were. He could see the emotions shift in her face, her hand drop from clutching his fingers. He could nearly see the memories rushing over her eyes like an old black and white movie as she stood stuck to the spot, her head looking up at the studios mesmerized, her eye glassy with the rush. He had to do something.

"That was where we went wrong..." he whispered to her as people walked around them in the snow.

She turned straight around to him and shook her head. Her cheeks were pink and he wasn't sure if it was from the cold or from the anger that was suddenly apparent in her voice as she spoke. She shook her head at him adamantly.

"No..." she said and he could barely hear her through the wind, "It _wasn't_..." he looked at her questioningly, "We went wrong way before we were ever in Times Square, Nick... a long, long way before..."

He chastised himself internally as he watched her waiting for his response. She shook her head angrily at him as he continued to stand facing her in silence in the place that always meant change for them. She scoffed when he continued to stare at her, turning on her brand new boots and turning to walk away, leaving him doing the only thing he seemed to be doing lately - running after her.

* * *

"This is why I never take public transport..." Miley mumbled grumpily, folding her arms across her chest and shivering slightly.

He smiled at her as she looked out of the empty bus window. Most of the roads were blocked and their was hardly anyone on the streets or on the road as the snow had put a stop on most travel of the day. They'd been stuck on the bus for four hours now; stuck in the traffic trying to get out of the gridlock of vehicles leading out of the city. They were the only people on the bus apart from the old crazy lady at the front of the bus who seemed more interested in her own fingers more than the fact that two teenagers were sat at the back of the bus, climbing all over the seats attempting to get comfortable as they faced each other, legs tucked against their chests, watching the only interesting thing they could see.

"I think there's plenty more other reasons why you don't and, more importantly, can't take pubic transport Miles..." Nick asked as he took out his cellphone, clicking onto his camera and pointing it at Miley, "It has little to do with the fact that we've been moving at a snails pace for this long..."

She smiled up at him, feeling awkward as she felt his camera snap pictures of her, wrapped up in her coat and her winterwear, brand new black leather biker boots keeping her legs warm, socks up to her thighs itching in their newness underneath her jeans.

"I would use public transport if it wasn't so freaking slow all the time," she said to him nodding, cheeks going pink as he just seemed more interested in taking pictures of her on his blackberry than he did about actually listening to what she was saying, "It's good for the environment... but it's speed seems to cancel out the eco-friendlyness. I'd rather ride my bike."

"Or get a hybrid..." he chuckled over the top of his cellphone.

She smiled and brushed her hair from her face, pulling her hat over her bandage, and nodded in agreement, "Or get a hybrid..."

He snapped away his pictures of her, watching her cheeks blush as he did so. He just seemed to be taking dozens and dozens of pictures of her as she tried to avoid his eyes and the concentration on his face, looking out of the windows and smiling uncomfortably at his expression as he admired each one.

"So, you're going to save the world, one bike and bus ride at a time...huh?" he smiled and continued.

She nodded, "Apparently so..." She laughed at him as he didn't even show any kind of sign that he'd heard or even understood that she was speaking. He was instead looking at the image of her on the screen of his cellphone, in awe of what he saw, trying his best to fully represent her image into the photographic form.

"Would you stop taking pictures of me!?" she laughed covering her face with her gloved hands, only for a few more snapping sounds to issue and echo in her ears around the empty bus. She reached forward, trying to take the phone from his hand, his smile growing as he pulled it away from her and took another picture of her smiling and laughing at his playfulness.

"Dude! Stop it! I look terrible!" she pulled her hat over her eyes and smiled, still amused by his actions and listened as the snapping continued. She peeked out at him from beneath her hat and narrowed her eyes at him. He just shrugged and smiled.

"You look beautiful... and ya know... serene..." he smiled tapping his phone against his palm nervously, his eyes glittering at her nervously, "Calm..."

Unable to control them, her cheeks turned pink as she shifted in her uncomfy seat and chuckled nonchalantly, almost soundlessly at his words. She pushed her hair from her eyes and looked at him matter-of-factly.

"You lost the right to call me those types of things a long time ago, buddy boy."

Her words were stern, but her face wasn't; completely calm and serene just like he said, as she looked out of the window and rearranged her now out of place hat onto her head again. He looked at her and just watched as she made herself look perfect again, a smile creeping onto his lips as he tried his best not to kiss her there and then. She turned to him to find him staring at her and shot him a half-attempt at a smile. It was enough of and excuse for her words and he just returned an even weaker one back to her.

"I know..." he nodded, and she gulped at his sincerity and understanding, "I know... but I'm going to earn the right back," he nodded sure of himself and it just made her feel awkward at how sure he actually appeared, "As soon as I can..." she blushed and he continued to nod and shrug his shoulders at her, explaining his comprehending of the words she'd spoke, trying to explain that he was trying. It was all he _could _do.

"I'm not the boy I used to be..." he muttered pointing his phone at her again and letting it click to take a picture.

She blushed, laughed low and looked away from him, mere steps away from believing every word he spoke.

She nodded, and tried her best to show that she still didn't believe him.

"Sure..." She turned away from him and smiled, just to make sure she wasn't tempted to look at him and see the sureness in his face again, threatening to bring down everything she was sure of. She closed her eyes and forced away the world, trying to dissapear back into her own little world where everything was easier. But soon, her world was broken into by the sounds of the clicking of the camera on his phone. She smiled again and shook her head, refusing internally to say anything else, because even though she would have hated to admit it, she kind of enjoyed the attention.

* * *

_"Country star Billy Ray Cyrus was taken into surgery again today after his collision with a truck while on his tour bus in New Jersey three days ago. Whilst talking to his publiscist earlier today we have been informed that Billy Ray's two oldest daughters, son and wife have been at his side the entire time he has been at the hospital. The star was in surgery to reallign and rebuild the bones in his two broken legs... we will find more information today."_

"DAMMIT!" she said throwing the remote across the living room from her position laying on the couch, "DAMMIT! DAMMIT! DAMMIT!"

Nick watched her, lying on her front beating her hands into his mom's pillows, hands filled with plates and the bag of take out he'd just got from the delivery guy at the front door. Her hair, that was still slightly damp and curly from the wetness of the snow that had fallen into it, covered her face as she beat her fist into the fabric and muffled her screams into the padding. He watched her for a few moments, putting everything down on the table and emptying his arms before he pressed his hand flat to her back to get her attention.

"Hey..." he whispered and she turned to him, showing him her moist eyes, "What's wrong?" she sat up sulkily and sighed as he put his arm quickly around her and pressed a passing kiss to her forehead before she could even tell that it was there, "It's okay... it's just crap fed by the publicists..."

She shook her head as he loaded up a plate of food for her to eat and handed her a fork and a can of Diet coke. She smiled at him thankfully and hungrily tucked into the food like she hadn't eaten in weeks.

"Thanks..." she sniffed and allowed him to pass her the blanket she'd somehow named as her own, helping her to put it around her shoulders, "I don't even know why it's still getting to me... I mean... it's been months since I've even spoke to him... I should be used to it by now... the shunning... and the leaving me ringing on the phone unable to leave a message anymore... it should all be normal now..."

She sniffed and wiped her nose on the back of her hand, turning to find him staring at her questioningly. She frowned, confused, the intensity of his gaze making her insides bubble with anticipation and nerves. Her eyes glazed over as they stared into his for a few moments, before she could take it no more and she had to ask.

"What?" she said, her voice failing her pathetically, "What is it?"

He shrugged his shoulders, and his gaze never wavered, it stayed the same, slowly drilling her into the seat paralysed and unmoving as she looked back at him, feeling him burning into her brain. He shook his head, his eyes narrowing as he put down his own fork onto his plate and shrugged his shoulders at her, instantly making her feel like she was an idiot who didn't know or understand something... like he was smarter. In a way he was the smarter one, but she would never let him believe or know that she thought that.

"Miles..." he said with a smile filled with hope, the same hope he'd been carrying with him for some time now, "Do you not get it?" she looked at him questioning him, confused, "As long as the phone's still ringing... he knows that you're there... he knows that you're still safe..."

She felt a smile that she couldn't control break out onto her face. She looked down at her plate, trying to force it away, but it wouldn't leave. Instead, she chuckled quietly as he grinned at her.

"When did you get so wise?"

He laughed and shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know..."

Then there was another of those unbreakable gazes... causing them to stare at at each other, eyes darting millimetres to search every recess of each other, searching each other for signs of something they couldn't understand. For Miley it was something that gave her sign that he was still the boy who had broke her heart, in hopes of the continuation of healing it. For Nick, is was something that told him that she was giving into him, she had opened up to him and everything would stay that way. The only problem was, was the barrier of something they couldn't see or understand between their gazes, stopping them from finding either.

"You wanna watch another movie?" she asked after pushing her food around her plate for a few minutes, no longer hungry or able to eat from the buzzing fluttering in her stomach, "I feel like we could watch a whole lot of movies while I stay here..."

He nodded and leant back against the couch as she stood up and went to pick one. He stared around the room, from their still full plates to the shape of her body as she bent down to look at the shelves, carefully reading out the titles to him. She was perfect and he would never be able to deny anything other than that fact when asked. She was perfect and he was sure that she didn't see things that way.

She picked one, to his arguements that it was a girly film, and that no guy should ever have to watch _The Notebook_ more than once in his lifetime, and he'd already seen it once with his mom. She refused, putting it on and strolling back over to the couch, sitting closer than when she'd left, and throwing her blanket over the pair of them without realising. She handed him his plate, and took her own, telling them they'd be sorry other wise and they laughed and joked as they settled into the movie. He watched the movie and realised as a more adult guy that it was actually a pretty sad story, but a great love story all the same. He didn't realise how engrossed he'd become in the story until he heard her sniffling from her position laying in his lap, her head resting on a pillow, while his hand stroked the ends of her hair that lay by his hand. He looked down and up to the TV where the credits were rolling and debated what to do. He stilled his hands from stroking her hair and waited.

She sat up finally and stretched, the exhaustion of days built up behind her eyes. She showed him no signs of reaction to the position they had previously been in; instead she simply yawned and stood up.

"I think I'm going to go to bed..." she mumbled looking down at him.

He nodded and moved the cushion from his lap, beating it softly against the back of the couch, "Yeah... wow... it's nearly midnight..."

She nodded and smiled, waving to him as he muttered goodnight so quietly he doubted that she heard it. He looked up at her as she stood there still, not moving from her spot and frowned questioningly as he watched the turmoil across her face.

"Thanks for being here for me..." she said shyly, cheeks reddening as she pulled the blanket tighter around her shoulders, "You've helped a lot... with everything... ya know?"

He nodded, "I know..." he muttered timidly, "It's fine... I've been happy to help."

She nodded, almost relieved and finally stepped away as he bent forward, tidying the plates and preparing to take them out to the kitchen and into the dishwasher. He could hear her footsteps wandering around the house as he concentrated hard on straightening out the living room in case of a random visit from his Grandparents or Mandy and Joe's arrival and sighed as he put the DVD back on the shelf, his hands filled with plates and the bag of empty take-out cartons. He bent down, putting her shoes together by the door so she could find them, and stood up, only to jump back in shock at what he saw.

"What's wrong?" he asked her as he saw the hint of panic in her face, "You okay?"

She bit her lip and shrugged her shoulders, "Will you stay with me again?" he frowned in confusion at her awkwardness and her sudden frustration and desperation. She scoffed out a laugh that in no way made her look any calmer and more collected, in fact it made her look worse, like she was begging. "Please. Stay with me."

And then, he saw it in her sparkly blue eyes, that something he'd been looking for.

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**A/N: So... yeah... friday night... major boredom that I now have no life... and umm yeah... **

**Review me and make me happy so I write more chapters... which of course includes the next highly highly romantic... sensual chapter that includes... yeah...**

**Review me and I'll tell you :):)**

**Love xx**

**PS. Dont forget to tell a gal what the heck the NJK awards are :D Save her the confusion of her onsetting increasing old age.  
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	32. Under The Covers

**A/N: I'm going to a music festival on Friday, and I'm pretty busy all this week, so after this I may not be able to update until next week if you guys are lucky. **

**I make no excuses for this chapter, except for the fact that the pervy part of me LOVES it.

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**Chapter 32 - Under The Covers**

"Do you know how creepy that is?"

She'd felt him leaning over her, staring at her since the moment her mind had clicked out of sleep mode and back into consciousness. She could feel him close, her heart pounding in her chest at the hum of his breathing echoing in her ears. His close proximity instantly made her simultaneously relaxed and on edge as he leaned quite obviously over her watching her sleep as they lay together in the small bed of his parents guestroom. His hand was pressed to the mattress beside her opposite to the side he was currently laying on, her skin brushing against it every few seconds as they shifted into comfort.

"You are such a creeper..." she mumbled her eyes still closed, afraid of what he would look like when she opened them.

She hoped that he would be afraid of her, that he would look like a deer in the headlights as she glared at him unimpressed. She wanted him to be guilty, sorry and just all together awkward about everything. She knew she was living a strange life when feeling awkward felt better than feeling comfortable with someone. She knew that as soon as she felt comfortable lying next to him, sleeping next to him, that bad things would happen... a cycle that she just couldn't handle going over with again. She'd done it before and she highly doubted that she could do it again. She didn't _want _to do it again. She just wanted everything to go away and be like it had been for those few short months when she'd been alone and she'd been coping with a father that loved her and a family that cared.

But when she let her eyes flutter open and her heart hopped into her throat refusing to leave it until she could hardly breathe, she knew that wanting to do something and actually being able to do it were two very separate things. She quickly felt her lack of control of her own emotions as her heart started palpitating in her chest, rushing faster and faster against her ribs as he looked down at her. He didn't look guilty and he didn't look ashamed or awkward. He was just smiling at her gently, watching her as she awoke, almost taunting her in the fact that he'd woken up before her and he could now tease her about how she sometimes snored and drooled.

Letting him stay with her suddenly became a very bad idea...

"Sleep okay?" he asked her calmly, tugging the sheets over her feet poking out of the end of the bed.

She groaned annoyed more at herself for not caring that he'd woken her up than annoyed at him for being a creeper. She let her arms fall exhaustedly over her face, her eyes peeping through her fingers to check the clock and see that it was only just 9am. She sighed irritated and exhausted and swatted her hand out to try and make him move away from her, giving him the answer that he needed.

"We fell asleep at 3am, Nicholas..." she said her voice thick with sleep as she pushed the sheets back, "How dare you make me awake at 9am... I, unlike some people, need to sleep their eight hours..."

She groaned, stretching her arms above her head, only to catch his eyes drift to her stomach as her white shirt rose to reveal her milky skin. She felt some wrong sense of control and higher power over him as she did so, raising her arms higher and higher, until her naval was completely uncovered, open to his eyes. She watched his eyes, so obviously, take in the sight, his fingers flexing on the bed beside her to touch it, and smiled inwardly at the effect she had over him.

"I wanted to know what you wanted to do today..." he said, making goosebumps rise on her skin as his eyes wandered over every inch of her body, avoiding her eyes, "I didn't know if I should make preparations or... ya know... call a cab..."

She smiled at him, an eyebrow cocked in his direction as he finally reached her face, a blush covering his cheeks. She shook her head at him and closed her eyes, tugging the covers back over her body so he couldn't see.

"I kinda wanted to sleep in until at least noon, but apparently that's not gonna happen now..."

She heard him paused, "Why?"  
She sighed. Irritated.

"_Because_, Buddy Boy, even though I am tired and I am desperate to fall back to sleep, your creepy stalking has made it impossible for me to feel like i can go back to sleep, because I'm terrified that you're going to watch me again," she peeked at him through one eye, "Or worse..."

His face turned playful and her stomach gurgled silently inside of her with the fluttering that seemed to be appearing at all of the wrong moments. She watched the corners of his mouth turn up into a smile, felt his thumb flex beside her beneath the quilt, inconspicuously stroking her flesh for a second, causing her breath to catch and her brain to pulsate. It only made it worse when he retracted his hand from beside her, his fingers grazing over her flesh like it was nothing, making her feel everything. In a moment, she hated him... wanted to kill him... and something else... all at once.

"I can't help it..." he muttered in his excuse, and she paused, unsure of what he was excusing himself of. Every action he was taking was somehow searching for a reaction from her, and she wasn't going to give him one... not easily anyway. He would have to do something seriously hardcore for her to react to him. He would have to make her angry or make her really, really annoyed before she would react to his childish tries of getting her to react to him.

She wouldn't react... she wouldn't.

With a sigh, she turned to her side, her eyes drifting closed again as she blocked him out, facing away from him still lying beside her. She lay silently, waiting for him to get bored and get up or fall asleep like she was trying to. But he wasn't, and she could hear him, feel him watching over her like some kind of secret keeper to her safety that she didn't really want. She just wanted to be able to sleep as long as she usually did and get back into the swing of her normal sleep pattern. She couldn't be doing all of this waking up early and going to be late. It had to be all late, just like she usually was, and his stupid body clock was interrupting her own and throwing it off. She wanted her own bed, and she wanted to be able to feel safe. She hated that she only felt safe when he was nearby, when he was holding her much like she'd found herself when awaking in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom or get a glass of water. He always had his arms around her, his cheek pressed against the back of her shoulder. She always came back from the kitchen or the bathroom to find his arm outstretched over her side of the bed that they'd somehow claimed for themselves. The moment she lifted his arm to get back into the bed, it was around her and clutching her tightly. She hated that she couldn't stop him, or force herself to stop him. It made her feel to safe... too comfortable. When he was asleep, he was just Nick the boy she'd once been in love with. The moment he was awake, he was like this. He was the boy who had broken her heart.

"Ughh!" she said dramatically, turning to lay on her back again, her hand flying out to hit him roughly on the arm in annoyance, "Do you _have_ to do that?! It's so creepy! I can't sleep because I'm so damn on edge!" He laughed and protected himself as she hit him again, "I can't sleep now that you've made me all unrelaxed and freaked out!"

She pouted at him, saw his face soften as his hand returned to pin against the mattress beside her. She gulped as she saw the seriousness in his face at the look of her, and her palms began to sweat as she clutched them against her stomach nervously. Her eyes clouded at the attention and care in his eyes and she took a deep breath, catching his attention.

"Can I help?" he asked, his voice low and masculine, making her heart beat fast for a second, before it slowed down scarily.

She frowned, "Help what?"

She watched as he pushed himself to sit up next to her, his body tilted to her, watching her just as carefully as ever.

"Help you to fall asleep..."

She looked at him, her brow raised in amusement as a smile broke across her face and happiness bubbled in her gut at his ridiculous question.

"No..." she laughed plumping the pillows up with her hands beneath her head.

He shrugged his shoulders, apparently finding it less humouring than she had done and began playing with the hem of her t-shirt, rolling the loose thread in his fingers as he watched her silently.

"But it works..." he muttered, his eyes glassy. She was confused instantly as she watched him carefully, "It always used to work..." he paused and she heard him gulp, "Didn't it?"

In a flash back to their past, she remembered exactly what he was talking about. How he used to "help" her fall asleep when she was too hyper and energetic on tour to go to bed. She remembered his actions, and what he would do nearly every other day just to make her relax, to make her calm and keep her concentrated on slowing down rather than speeding up. She'd always somehow fall asleep, always. She'd wake up the next morning to find that he wasn't there and that she was alone. It was always the worst feeling in the world... well... back then it had been the worst feeling in the world. She could think of a million other awful feelings now that she was a little older and a lot wiser. Somehow that awful feeling he was now reminding her of, actually made her feel a little bit happier, a tiny bit more safer, and a whole lot more like the world was a different place to what it had once been; just because she knew that if she did fall asleep, if and when she let him help her, he was going to be there when she woke up and he would probably be smiling.

"I-I... I don't know..." she whispered as she watched him, apparently already decided for her, lifting the sheet until it was stretched out above them like a tent letting the early morning light through. Her body flattened against the mattress, completely still as she watched him apprehensively. He was watching her, looking at her, waiting for her to give him the only answer their was, willing her past her apparent fear with his eyes, in order to agree.

She gulped, glassy eyes staring up at him and nodded slightly. He looked at her questioningly, his head tilted to the side, and waited for a firmer answer, his body still shifting beside her as he knelt up on his knees above her. She coughed and cleared her throat, nervous as he seemed so much larger than her from above her, making her feel small and weak. It only made her silently want this more.

"Okay..." she nodded, taking a deep shakey breath.

She watched him as he did what he always did, more because of the lack of space on a tour bus than for actual real reasons, and slowly placed his knees either side of her hips. He looked down at her, watched her as she stared at him, took in the new muscles he had formed in their absence and the entirely new way that he looked above her. She watched as he let the sheets bunch at the end of the bed where their feet didn't reach, letting his body fall to sit against her thighs as he did so. He looked up at her and smiled at her softly, relaxing her and letting her know that this was going to be okay.

"Arms up." He whispered as he leaned over her, and without even knowing, she had lifted her hands above her head to rest either side of her on the pillow, palms upward as her fingers flexed nervously.

She looked up at him, admired his smile as he started off just like the other hundreds of times he'd helped her to sleep. Her head turned and watched as he leant down so alarmingly close to her face, his hands taking hold of her fingers as he opened up her palm and pressed his lips deep into the centre of it, kissing it gently, tentatively, like he was trying not to scare her anymore than she already was.

He watched her reaction, saw her take a deep breath in and hold it as her eyes fluttered closed in the sensation, her lips stilled and silent at that simple sensation. He waited before continuing, lifting her arm and pressing his lips against the pulse in her wrist. She let out her breath as she felt him kiss against the thumping pulse that he felt. Her eyes closed as she felt his lips, running along the skin of her forearm, causing her breath to hitch every few moments, the strange tickling sensation when his lips reached the crook of her arm making her smile slightly as he continued.

She didn't argue when his hand pushed at the white fabric of her v-neck t-shirt, until there was enough room for him to kiss several times against the smooth skin of her shoulders. She smiled, her fingers flexing at the side of her head as she ached to just run one hand down the hand that was toying with the cotton, making way for his lips as they ran against her body. Simultaneously, he pressed a kiss to the top of her sternum and moved up the fabric just so he could repeat the same action at the bottom of her sternum soon after. The sensation of something so comforting and familiar caught her off guard, her hand moving from beside her head on the pillow to clutch at the same gentle skin at the back of his arm. She squeezed it, too encouragingly and felt as he kissed a line over her ribs, to the sternum again, before making his way down her stomach, kissing her belly button and admiring the muscles as they clenched under his mouth.

She blushed when her back arched into his touch as he kissed and kissed at her stomach, his supporting hand holding her around the waist as she squirmed at the feel of his lips against the protrudence of her hips where they had never ventured before. His kisses were clumsy. She could feel his lips shaking as they came into contact with her flesh, and she knew that it was purely because he was just as nervous as she was. She could feel him, tasting her skin as he reacquainted himself with each and every curve he'd never seen before. She gasped as she felt a lone finger trace down her side, feeling the contours of her body that had formed in his absence, admiring them and investigating them, burning them into his memory so he would never forget.

She panted, breathless, her chest aching as he quickly, but carefully, kissed down her legs, across her bare, boxer-covered thighs, over her knees and along the smooth skin of her calves. She screwed her face in anguish as she felt every pant of his own breath against her skin, his lips hard against them as it seemed he could not get enough of what he was so shamelessly taking. She felt worshiped and needed as he kissed the tops of her feet, his entire body curved to reached them, the loss of contact slightly too much, her body heaving, trying to reach him as he knelt back up. She looked up at him through glassy eyes to find him kissing his way back up her body, taking his time, remembering everything on the way, as she clutched both her hands at him. She waited, her fingernails digging into his flesh as he slowly but surely returned to her, their faces moving to meet each other and take in the sight of each others eyes.

She gasped, panted, ached as she tried to breathe. He looked down at her, his eyes telling and sure as he clutched at her body, their skin burning together as it met, fused against each other as it refused to move. Her legs wrapped around his thighs, holding him close as she stared at him, her eyes clouded with the passion she'd never meant to give into. She hadn't meant to react, she hadn't even meant to let him do anything. But she couldn't stop him... why couldn't she stop him...? She'd just let him... and now she was alive with the sensation that she hadn't wanted to feel, softened by his worshipping, admiring actions that she would never ask him to take back. Why had she let him? Why was she allowing herself to slip backwards into a past that no longer existed?

She shook her head at him subtly, her eyelids heavy with lust, slipping her hand up between their bodies until she was tugging his neck to her until he was inches away from her face. She paused and shook her head, not knowing what to do, not knowing what she wanted to happen, sure that he would decide for her.

She sighed as he pressed his lips against her nose, a smile breaking out onto his face. She didn't return it. She just tugged on the back of his neck until his nose was running against hers, their lips millimetres apart.

It could have been hours, they would never have known. All Miley knew was that she couldn't stop herself from what she was doing, staring up at him with her heavy eyes, waiting for something to happen that she had never been more sure that she wanted. His eyes were intimidating with their lack of unsureness, his lips quirking as he panted in time with her. His hand clutched at her neck, the other still pressed against the bed as they bided their time and their movements. She looked at him one last time with heavy eyes and couldn't take it anymore, a subtle nod passing quickly between them until he was reaching to push her hair from her face, and leaning softly in.

It seemed like lifetimes for him to finally reach her, her eyes closing as she waited... his lips never reaching her... as quickly she felt his entire body being moved from hers...

"YO! NICK! ARE YOU HERE?"

"Mileyyy!"

Her reactions were slower than his, her lips still ready, eyes still half closed as she watched him spring away from her and off of the bed. Her ears echoed and in seconds, it was like she was coming back up for air after holding her head under water, reality rushing back to her cruelly. It took a few moments for her to realise that she was alone in the bedroom, her head lifting exhausted from the pillows to find the door open. She heard the sounds of her best friend's downstairs, their crashing noises loud her ears as they entered the house like a bull in a china shop.

She let her head crash back onto the pillow with a thud again, her eyes wide and confused as she tried to comprehend what she had just let happen. Her eyes closed, her face contorted into anger at herself. Her jaw set as she prepared herself to pretend that the world was okay. Hands covered her face as she clutched at her own cheeks, still trying to comprehend her own actions, failing instantly in a mental rush of confusion. She shook her head and clenched her fists together, trying her best not to scream and show her anger, before she gave up, and let her hand fly thundering to the pillow beside her, hitting it hard, until the feathers puffed out from the corners.

It was all too much.

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**A/N: So I did some investigating and discovered that I have been in fact awarded/nominated for some NJK awards. Pretty cool. Thanks to the academy and all that Jazz... i suppose I should ask you to vote for me...**

**VOTE FOR ME!**

**I also need help. I have a chapter that involves dancing at a very naughty, grimey dirty party. Involving Nick and Miley... **

**But I need a song... I need you guys to help me and give your requests/ideas. **

**One thing... Think RAVE, think SWEATY, think SEXY. **

**Think claustrophobia and attraction. **

**There's all your spoilers for the day. **

**Please read and review. **

**Oh yeah... please don't judge my pervyness. **

**xx**


	33. Messed Up

**A/N: In response to my reviews for the last chapter, firstly, thank you :), secondly, I apologise for being such an old meany :) Cos I am... ya know... actually getting old now. My mother liked reminding me yesterday that I cannot act like a 2 year-old anymore considering I'm almost 19. Thanks mum (y)**

**Please continue with your song reccomendations. Gaga seems to be the most prefered and obvious at the moment, but I'd quite enjoy hearing if you guys have any other songs that you think fit in for these two that is sexy, sleazy, gritty, dirty, dry humpy, and just generally workable for my perverted ways :)  
**

**This chapter is my attempts at humor. It's for all those who wanted some Miley and Mandy... I hope you're satisfied. Just a short chapter, but the moment I get 10 reviews I promise I'll upload the much longer next chapter. **

**What else... umm... **

**VOTE FOR ME IN THE NJK AWARDS... just slide that in there... **

**So yeah... reviews for chapters... Not long until 'it' happens. I'm not telling you what 'it' is... so you better do something about it *waggles eyebrows* :)

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**Chapter 33 - Messed Up**

Awkward was a word that had somehow mingled itself into the vocabulary of Miley's every day life. She hadn't known how or when it had happened, but it was suddenly a permanent state of being that she had found herself in, all because of the stupid un-thought-out actions she had taken. She was messed up, and she knew it. She was completely screwed up in every sense of the word, her head and her thoughts jumbled into a state where she felt like she was walking around like a zombie, attempting to decipher and organise each thought into some coherant emotion that she could understand. Her mind was melting, she could almost feel it, stunned and shocked by the actions she had taken. She knew that she had to stop the silliness, stop the bad actions and control herself in everything that she did. It was only making things worse.

Awkward was the only word to describe the situation that she currently found herself in as she stood almost paralysed in the middle of Nick and Joe's mother's kitchen, attempting to watch the two brothers and her best friend try and make the four of them a suitable breakfast that would keep them going through-out the day ahead. The house, in the two hours that Joe and Mandy had been there, had turned into a complete frat house, dominated by teenagers who had no common sense and no real life skills they could use. Joe had already broken a glass and two bowls, just on his venture to find the right utensils to make eggs... only to find that they had no eggs... only Miley's vast stash of sugary treats that only three quarters of them could eat.

"Are you sure that you're gonna be okay with just coffee?" Joe asked Nick as he sat silently at the table, checking his blood levels and fixing his insulin.

Nick nodded silently as Miley and Mandy stood washing their plates from their hearty meal of pop tarts and coffee, a bag of chips thrown in for Miley, just to top herself off and make sure she was full. They'd been silent the whole meal, Miley and Nick, letting the older couple completely control the conversation informing them of their journey and how they had dropped the rest of Miley's family at the hospital before driving their rental car to the house. Miley had been silent as Mandy had told her how her father's surgery went, nervous to find out that the doctors were unsure if his legs would ever be the same again. She'd felt the eyes of Nick burning into her cheeks as Mandy told her, watching her just like he always did, still concerned, still embarrassedly saying nothing to her, because of the way that they'd almost been caught. It was pathetic.

She was a little angry at him, just because he'd been so jumpy after Mandy and Joe had arrived. Everything he'd been so adamant about proving to her, about how he loved her and all that crap about how he was going to prove it to her was suddenly shot out of the window as he sprung to life, pretending like she was nothing again. Way to prove her point. He was the same old Nick. The same old Nick that could drive her crazy, make her scream bloody murder at the frustration he caused her constantly, forever changing his mind. All she could think was '_What the Heck?'._ He'd been so flirty and so domineering that morning as he tried it on with her... and coming fractions from succeeding. Why did he always jump when people were near by? He could have suceeded so easily in proving his own point partly if he'd of actually followed through with his stupid actions. But no, he had to go and ruin it by making her feel like an embarrassed fool. He could have pulled away, smiled and made a cheesy pathetic joke that would have broke the ice and made her feel less stupid. But no, he'd jumped off of her quicker than anything and vanished out the door. What had been the point? He severely had no brains... his regret apparent in the way that he'd ignored her since she'd slumped into the kitchen, to greet her friends, looking at him like she wanted to murder him (probably because she did).

"What's got on your goat, ol' buddy ol' pal?"

Miley jumped as Mandy's head appeared nearby her at the sink, the pair of them watching the boys as they stood up and made their way into the living room from the kitchen. Miley tore her eyes from staring at the back of Nick's obnoxious head and turned to her best friend drying her hands on the towel beside the sink.

"Nuthin'... why?"

Mandy frowned, and shrugged her shoulders, apparently unconvinced, but untesting, "Ya, just seem like something's bothering you, is all... you sure you're okay?"

Miley nodded, and leant back against the sink to look at her, the sounds of the two boys radiating into the kitchen. They were playing _video games_. Two hours and they were already playing stupid video games.

"Just a little bit cranky about the whole Dad situation..." she let her southern belle tones ring across the kitchen as she downplayed the seriousness of her father's problems and watched as Mandy smiled at her, itching to tell her something, she could tell by the ants in her pants that kept her on her toes. She reached out a calming hand to rub her arm to convince her and nodded, "I'm just a little angry that everyone's keeping secrets from me is all..."

Mandy's face contorted into guilt and she bowed her head in shame, her feet stilling and her eyes blinking nervously. Her cheeks turned rouge, impossibly pink until she was looking stupid with guilt and shame.

"What is it?" Miley said, expecting something bad, incredibly huge and awful to have happened.

Mandy turned away from her and wrung her hands together, playing with her rings as she hunched her shoulders protectively. Miley felt sick with the nerves. She was sure something terrible had happened and she would kill if it hadn't.

"I may..." Mandy muttered tentatively, her voice high-pitched and strained, "or may...not..." she cringed, "...have uh... ya know... it's not been decided yet..." Miley was instantly calmed by the sneaky smile that broke out on the face looking away from her, "But... I may have gone to third base with Joe Jonas in the back of my car on the drive home to LA two days ago..."

It took a moment for it to sink into Miley before...

"EWW. Oh my gosh!"

Mandy's arms were reaching up to smother her mouth in a second and she squirmed cringed and squealed at the new information. They were both laughing as they tussled against each other, Mandy trying to silence her with hissed hushes, her hands frantically moving to cover her mouth and stop the alarm bells from ringing.

"What the heck?! Miley wheezed as she laughed at their stupidity, leaning over the sink as Mandy tugged on the back of her t-shirt, wide smile grinning back at her as her eyes stayed big and happy.

She blushed and shrugged her shoulders, "We stopped for a rest break..." she bit her lip, "He told me he loved me and had loved me since the moment we met, said he hoped I'd be a Jonas someday..." Miley's mouth flew open in shock, "Let's just say... serious macking ensued," Miley let out a guffaw of laughter at the phrasing and Mandy only had to silence her again with a hand over the mouth, until she was calm, "and then we moved to the back seat... at a rest stop somewhere in Iowa... and he... ya know... showed me what it's like..."

Disgust befell Miley's features, grimacing as she closed her eyes disgusted, "'Showed you what it's like'???" Mandy hit her on the arm, "I could have gone my _whole life_ without knowing that... I mean... seriously, Amanda... what were you thinking...?"

A glint grew in her eye and Miley knew that something terrible was about to leave her mouth that would only make her cringe, laugh or want to throw up quickly. It was always the way.

"I figured that we're gonna be here for a few weeks," Mandy winked with a smile that only meant trouble, "And there's nothing else to do in this dang town that won't get us mobbed by old people and little girls... I thought that I best take up a new hobby to keep myself amused and stop the boredom from taking over..."

Miley's mouth fell open in shock and Mandy just smiled walking over to the door to the living room, before turning it back, the troublesome smile only worse.

"It's fun... you should try it sometime..."

Miley continued to gawp for a few more moments before she laughed and shook her head, suddenly realising what a terrible role model she had to look up to. That was until she suddenly realised, who in this _dang_ _town _would she try it with that Mandy would want to talk about?

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**A/N: Hello! Me again! So I hope that was funny... and you know... a little... informative... **

**So... I don't think I have anything to say... so I thought I'd give you some chapter descriptions to keep you interested. **

**Comment as always... tell me what you think ;)**

**Chapter 34: Miley can't sleep when Nick's not there, has bad dreams. **

**Chapter 35: Mandy and Joe play games, Nick and Miley have a showery run in. **

**Chapter 36: Miley talks drugs and fame at her first proper party. **

**Chapter 37: Miley wonders if she's had more than just a coke or two because she's feeling weird. **

**Chapter 38: Miley talks boys.**

**LOVE YOU ALL xx**


	34. Her One Phonecall

**A/N: I just came back from the best weekend of my life, witnessed some musical history and haven't slept in a bed for 3 days r eaten a proper meal. I'm a bit shakey (y). But however, I bring you, my lovely readers a promised chapter because of your wonderful reviews. Because even though I said 10, my absence left me with 24 for the last chapter. So thank you very much...**

**Ok...  
**

**Question: Elvis or Frank Sinatra or both?**

**Oh... And... VOTE FOR ME IN THE NJK AWARDS (Y)**

**Now,  
THIS CHAPTER: Three words to describe it (because that's all I can manage, and they're quite rubbish): CONTEMPLATIVE, FLASHBACK, COMFORT. **

**:) Love you all x

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**Chapter 34 - Her One Phone Call (January 30th, 2008)**

When Nick didn't sleep in her bed with her, she soon realised, she couldn't get to sleep. If she did get to sleep, she only had bad dreams, dominated by images of her past and of everything bad that she was afraid of. She had tried, of course; wondered how easy it would be to get to his room down the hall and ask him if she could bunk with him, just for one night. She had wandered the hallways aimlessly for hours every night, toying with the need to just sleep beside him in order to feel safe. She had been glad that the floorboards in his house didn't creak. She hadn't been caught, quickly moving back into her room if she even heard the slightest sound of someone about to wake up. But she had just wandered so stupidly around the house, trying to fight off bad dreams and the constant fear of losing everything that she couldn't shake off.

It had been a week since they'd almost kissed, a week since Joe and Mandy had joined their ranks of being bored and useless as they waited and waited for something to happen, just something that would give them a sign. It had been a week since she'd had a full nights sleep, taking the random nap when in the middle of the day when she was sat on the couch beside Nick watching TV as her main source of restoration. It had been a week of non-stop dreams and remembrances of how terrible her life was, from the moment she had yelled at Justin to the day her father had shouted at her. Her mind was playing out the echoes of her life in dreams, the screams still there in her ears when she woke up; their screams, shouts and the awful moments they had inflicted on her that were ruining her life.

She couldn't shake them, she couldn't stop them. She knew there had to be a purpose for them, because their was a purpose for everything. She knew that there had to be some reason that she was having these dreams, and that reason was more than likely to push her to do right in her life, to fix everything and make it better. But they made her unable to sleep. The dreams made her afraid. The dreams made her scared of what she had become, and what she may continue to become. She wanted her old life back and she wanted her old friends back, but she was afraid and terrified of doing anything, just because she was scared that she wouldn't be able - wouldn't be strong enough - to make it better and instead only worse.

* * *

_January 30th, 2008, Midnight - Florida _

_"Fine! Take it away! I don't need it! It's just a stupid cellphone!" she screamed as she faced her parents in the hotel room, watching them carefully as they both continued to yell at her about her attitude and the secluded person she had become. _

_"I swear to God as my witness Miley Ray, if you don't stop this silliness and stupidity I will ground you for the rest of your life!" her father said, as her mother screamed like a blur in the background, the pair of them layering each other as they both pointed their sound in her direction._

_"You've got to stop being so disrespectful, young lady!" her mother said as she clutched Miley's cellphone in her hand, "This is a privilege! Do you understand that!? Having this phone is a privilege, not a necessity! So stop acting like you deserve the whole world when you don't! You're just one person!"_

_"I know, Mom! I know! So stop yelling at me and just punish me already!" _

_Her father's face almost exploded, "It's not about punishing you, Miley! It's about you learning! So no! We're not going to punish you, we're going to show you what it's like without the privilege!" he yanked the phone from her mother's hand, "This isn't yours for two weeks! Let's see if you learn to respect and accept that sometimes you can't always get what you want!" _

_She scoffed, "That's not fair! I need that phone to talk to people!"_

_He shook his head; her mother's expression stayed firm looking at her, arms crossed. _

_"No you don't, and that's the point." he waved it in front of her face for a moment before slipping it into his pocket, "You can have it back in two weeks. Not a second before. Now go to bed."_

_She shook her head, irritated and claustrophobic, "I'm going for a walk." _

_He watched her as she strode across the room, grabbing her sweatshirt and opening the door. He frowned, Tish at his heels as Miley searched for a key, failing and giving up quickly, before opening the door. _

_"It's almost midnight... get in here and go to bed." _

_She shook her head and began walking down the hall, "No. I'm going for a walk." _

_She heard their arguments and their continued questions as she continued to wander down the hallway to the staircase, avoiding the elevator. She ignored them however, and just continued in the same numb fashion she'd been wandering around in for the past three weeks, and attempted to find some kind of direction. _

_*_

_She hadn't realised before leaving the hotel that it was foggy and cold on the streets of Jacksonville, Florida. She hadn't realised the buckets of water that would fall down on her and soak her wet to the skin with clear acidic rain that she could taste on her tongue. She could feel the second batch of hair dye she'd put into her hair only the day before dripping down the back of her neck in the fury of the rain, running onto the edges of her cheeks as she wiped it away angrily with the wet sleeves of her sweatshirt, trying to hide it with the hood that covered her face from any seeing eyes. _

_She had planned to somehow find Mandy and talk to her once she'd left the hotel, stupidly planned to call her once she was outside before realising that she didn't have a phone to call her with. She'd searched the parking lot filled with tour buses to see if there was anyone hanging around who could help her, but there was no one, not even the dancer's bus. She assumed instantly that they hadn't made it there yet having one of the more steady going drivers who liked to take things chill. It made her angry. Her plan had failed before it had even been tested. _

_So instead she had wandered along the streets of the small town they were staying that was half empty because of the rain and the late - or what some may have called early- hour. She felt free as she was able to wander along a sidewalk without everyone watching; she was able to take in the sights of everything she saw because there was no one in the way obscuring her view. She was able to contemplate her life and realise how screwed up it was now that there was one person missing from it. _

_Her hand toyed on the receiver of the payphone, her few lowly quarters she had in the back of her jeans rolling around in her hand as she tried to think of someone she could call who wouldn't judge her. But all of her numbers were stored to her phone, all of them. She couldn't remember that many cellphone numbers, she hadn't needed to; not since she'd started out working. There was only one number that she could remember, only one number that she could recite off by heart, just because it was the only one she'd been stupid and childish enough to remember... other than her own. She'd compared their two phone numbers... been stupid enough to think that having the same digits somehow meant that they were perfect for each other. It seemed stupid now that she had realised there were more important things she needed to consider. _

_But she was desperate, and she needed somebody, somebody who made her feel normal again, like she was understood. She needed the boy who she had fallen in love with and she was sure that he was hiding somewhere in the boy that had broken her heart. She was sure that she could find him, coax him out and just listen to him speak, get him to tell her that everything was okay. Even if it did make her look pathetic. _

_She waited, punching in the numbers and putting in her quarters as she waited for the phone to ring. She waited, the feeling of tears bubbling in her gut making her feel nauseous. She covered her eyes with her hand for a moment as she pressed the receiver to her ear, trying her best not to get grossed out or concerned about the stickiness that covered the plastic. She tried to calm herself and make sure that she was okay with this, that she was prepared to hear his voice. She hadn't gone this long without hearing his voice since the moment she'd met him. That first phone call they'd shared had been until the early hours of the morning and their conversations hadn't stopped for more than twelve hours at a time since that moment. It felt strange that it had been this long, and even stranger that she would at some point probably go longer than three weeks without talking to him. She tried not to ponder the thought as she waited, breathing heavy, eyes pricking with tears, just urging him to pick up. _

_"Hello?" _

_His voice was heavy with sleep and she felt guilty instantly. She shook her head, and before she knew it, she was silently sobbing, leaving him hanging on the line with just her breathy sobs to inform him that she was their at the other end of it. _

_"Miley?" She could hear the wavering confusion in his voice, but there was no doubt that it was her. He knew she was calling him just from the sound of her crying. _

_She shook her head and wiped her eyes, curling herself around the payphone as she heard the sound of voices somewhere nearby through the heavy rain and the oncoming of the thunder and lightening. _

_"Hey..." she breathed, wiping her eyes and hiccupping, "Did I wake you...?"_

_"No... No..." he whispered, and she could hear him stretching, his voice unsure and exhausted. She knew that he was lying. She sighed and shook her head, listening to his breathing, letting it lull her into a false sense of security, "What are you calling me for?" _

_She sighed again and sniffed, her voice heavy with tears and exhausted emotion._

_ "I argued with my Mom and Dad. They took my phone away..."_

_He paused before... _

_"I'm sorry..."_

_She shook her head, even though he couldn't see, "It's okay..." she shrugged, "They took my cellphone away... I just..." she gulped, "I needed someone to talk to and yours was the only number I could remember..." She sniffed and stopped the overwhelming need to blubber wiping her nose with the back of her rain moistened hand, "I'm sorry..." she apologised pathetically, "You don't deserve this..." _

_"No..." he said and she felt sick at the soft delivery of the word that showed no meaning, no nothing, he just said the word how it was and left nothing with it, "No... it's fine, Miles... you're gonna be okay. You're always fine," she smiled at the sincerity of his words and nodded, like she could believe it too, "You've got to remember that nothing's ever as bad as it first seems, you know..." her breath caught in her throat in the familiarity of their conversation and how it was just like any other time she'd called him upset, almost to the words he was saying, it was like nothing had changed, "There's always a reason for everything... always..."_

_She smiled and took his words as gospel, wanting to believe them, needing to believe them like they were the last thing she ever needed to know. She leant her head against the payphone and sighed, took in a huge breath that could barely fill her lungs because of her sobs, but tried to anyway. _

_She heard his breathing crack slightly on the end of the telephone, and it was almost like he couldn't bear the pathetic tears either, that it was hurting him as much as it was hurting her, "God I miss you..." _

_Her breathing stopped, caught in her throat in a fireball shaped lump that burned the gentle sensitive skin and made it impossible for her to talk or take in the oxygen she needed to survive. It seemed irrelevant anyway; she didn't feel like she was going to survive all this much longer and probably break any day now. Surely it would just be easier to give up now..._

_"You think missing me is hard?" She breathed, voice hoarse and eyes barely able to see through the thick fog of tears and rain that were obscuring her eyes from clarity, "You should try missing you..." A painful sob that made her throat ache passed through her lips, leaving a burn in its wake, "it's **torture**."_

_She heard another crack of his breathing, along with his softly pleading voice that was almost begging her through gentle breaths and whispers, "Don't say that..." he asked of her, "You **can't **say that... you know you can't, Miley..." _

_"Why not?" _

_"Because I -"_

_"Nick... are you ready? It's time to go?" came the clear loud voice that cut through their conversation, "Who are you talking to?"_

_Miley knew the voice, she'd known the voice before he had done. She had been on set with her for days as she guest starred on her TV show, helping bring her to fame and now the presense of the boy she loved, who no longer loved her back. He had transfered his affections, forgotten her, moved on to the new girl who was meant to be taking her place and being better than her. He was forgetting her and that was why she wasn't allowed to make him feel guilty. He may have been an asshole, but he wasn't that cruel. He wouldn't inflict that kind of pain on her. He wouldn't tell her that. _

_"Oh..." Miley said to him, suddenly understanding. _

_"Miley, I-" he started but his breathy sigh told her that he had lost his nerve, that she was probably standing right by him, staring at him, wanting to know why he was talking to **her**. Miley covered her eyes with her spare hand, her entire body shaking as she moved the hand to her mouth as the sobs erupted into her throat louder and louder until it was becoming impossible to hold them in. _

_"I have to go. Goodb-"_

_The line cut off before he'd even finished saying goodbye. His voice rung in her ears as her body heaved with the oncoming onslaught of sobs and rivers of tears. They escaped from her, her hands clutching at the metal payphone like it was a crutch to support her. Her eyes stung as she let the cries flutter from her chest and explode like volcanoes from her lips. Her cheeks burned and she longed for someone to hold her, to just... let her be against the warmth of their flesh. She needed someone, just one person, but all they wanted to do was give her a half-finished goodbye._

_Somehow she returned to the hotel, her cheeks stinging still, but her eyes dry and empty. She was more zombiefied that when she left, her arms hanging at her sides as she stood soaked to the skin in the doorway of her bedroom. She had no idea what time it was, or how long she had been gone, but the second that she knocked on the door it opened and her mother and father were enveloping her into hugs and telling her to never do that again. Later she found out that she'd been gone for four hours and no one had known where she was, but that was before her parents gave her back her phone, and told her that they were wrong, and she was never to leave their sight without it with her again. _

_It was barely a triumph.

* * *

_

Nick wandered the hallways on the search for the bathroom or water, he hadn't decided what yet. He just wanted to walk past her room and see that she was okay, like he'd been doing for the past week that they'd not been sharing a bed together. He hadn't been sure that their dynamic would be the same while Joe and Mandy joined them, and instead had kept his distance waiting for her to give him a sign that it was okay for him to even talk to her normally. It would be just like Miley to pretend that their relationship wasn't heading back on track again, that they had shared a bed and almost a kiss. She liked to pretend that things were easier than they actually were.

But on this night, at 4am, all he heard when he walked past her room was the gentle sobs that came from her tiny chest echoed through the cracks in the doorway. He paused, his mission forgotten and his mind honing in on her as always, wondering what was wrong. He called her name. No reply. He tried again, but there was nothing. He opened the door and looked at her, washed with the colour of the blue moonlight and sighed as he saw her face.

She was asleep, her eyes releasing the tears behind her cheeks, as she did so. He watched her, so lost and alone, and felt as always that he was meant to do something, that he was meant to see her like this and make her feel better. He walked to her, bent down onto his knees beside her face and cupped a cheek in his hand, whispering into her ear.

"_Wake up, Beautiful_..." he muttered and he felt her eyelids flutter against his skin, "_You're having a bad dream..."_

He saw her eyelids flutter open, her hands flexing out to reach for him. He smiled weakly and pressed a kiss to her forehead as she continued to sob with tears streaming down her cheeks. She reached out for him, wrapped her arms around his shoulders and neck as he lifted himself from the floor and onto the edge of the bed, letting her cry onto his t-shirt.

"I had a bad dream..." she told him, excusing herself. He nodded, his eyes closing as he lowered himself to lay beside her, inviting himself to stay. She didn't argue; just nodded and clutched at him as he pressed gentle kisses to her forehead and wrapped his arms around her tiny frame, nodding and snuggling into him as he gave her an almost silent, "I know."

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**A/N: You liiiiiike? **

**Reviews?**

**NJK Award votes?**

**Please?**

**:)**

**Love xx**


	35. One For My Baby

**A/N: I am the favourite author of 99 people as I write this. That's freaking amazing. **

**So, Chapter 35... I'm guessing at least another 20 chapters to go... is that okay? **

**This chapter... actually I have nothing to say about this chapter, so I'm just going to let you read it. **

**I'm reaally glad you guys liked the last chapter, I didn't really think a lot of it until I read it back wondering what all the fuss was about and it's actually one of my better chapters. I also had a complaint that the last chapter was too short. So Here's a reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally long one :) (*cough* that's what he said)**

**xx

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**Chapter 35 - One For My Baby**

It was almost Christmas - December 21st, in fact - and Mandy and Joe were going crazy trying to make Christmas the best for Miley considering the circumstances she was faced with. They'd got the biggest Christmas tree, bought all her favourite things and tried to make her feel at home as much as possible. Her parents, much to their anger and annoyance, still refused to attempt to make things better between father and daughter, while Miley tried everything she could think of. She'd spent the last two weeks going to interviews and press conferences, making appearances on TV shows all across New York City. She refused to leave New York and Jersey. She spent most of her days riding around in a car with her publicist trying to decide what they could do to keep things calm. The media hated that she hadn't been very active on their magazine covers for weeks. They had tried everything they could to find her, not being intelligent enough to realise that while Miley had been missing and her father had been sick, that Joe and his brother's had been missing also, taking the opportunity to try and "work on their next album."

"Did you get the stuff for dinner yet?" Joe mumbled as he put up more decorations around their very lush and well decorated Christmas tree that he and Mandy had picked out themselves, adorning disguises and wandering onto the streets of Jersey by themselves in Joe's rental car.

Mandy nodded, as she crossed some things off of the list she'd made of gifts they needed to buy for everyone. Their families planned on joining them for dinner and gift opening on Christmas day, leaving them to prepare an entire day on their own. It was something that the two ditzy lovers were new to. It had proved to be quite successful so far.

"Where's Miley today?" Joe asked as he strained to put paper chains across the kitchen ceiling, climbing up the stepladder that had become like his new BFF he was on it so much.

Mandy looked down at the other list that sat at the head of the breakfast table and sighed, "The View," she told him, "I hope that it goes okay..."

Joe agreed as he climbed down from the step-ladder and pressed a kiss to her head as walked by. Mandy smiled up at him widely, their honeymoon phase apparently untainted and unharmed by all the bad around them, still half living in their own little romantic bubble and dreading having to live the other half outside of it with the real world.

His eyes rolled back into his head and Mandy grinned at him stroking his jaw as she heard the front door open and Miley screaming at the publicist yet again, telling him that she didn't want to move into a hotel room in the city before slamming the door in his face. Joe braced himself with a sigh, sitting down beside his girlfriend with a half-amused smile taking hold of her hand and sipping on his coffee as they waited for her to enter.

"Stupid! Stupid publicity! Freaking-- UGH! I can't believe he doesn't..."

"Speak of the devil..." Mandy whispered, leaving Joe smiling as Miley wandered through the kitchen, shedding her outerwear onto chairs and kitchen worktops as she went.

"Fricken' dumbass!!" she groaned as she took a bottle of water out of the refrigerator and opened it quickly taking a sip, "I'm calling Mom..."

Joe looked at Mandy in shock, both of their brows raising at the same time, "Must have had a bad day..."

She wandered around the kitchen, eyes down on her Blackberry, shaking her head as Joe and Mandy looked at each other for answers, knowing that they weren't getting any from the girl in turmoil in front of them. Mandy shrugged; watched as Miley grabbed some of her things that had been left dotted around the house in her lengthy stay, and listened as she mumbled under her breath trying to press the buttons of her Blackberry. She created nothing but trouble for her angered self as it seemed she couldn't quite concentrate enough to get the keys in the right order, her shouts and soft profanities making her best friends wince in the echoes they created off of the walls. Their winces only worsened when Miley bumped directly into the cold, wet, soaking body of Joe's younger brother, clutching at the towel wrapped around his waist, his hair stuck to his face as he searched for something of his own that Joe was probably about to be blamed for.

"OH!" Miley squeaked, and it was the look of pure shock that caused Joe to bury his mouth into his hands behind their backs and watch on entertained.

Her eyes were wide and her mouth fell open as her eyes darted to every corner of his chiselled chest. The contour of each muscle was outlined by the pearls of clear perfect water that dripped from the still soaking wet strands of his hair. Her mouth began to open and close as she saw the sight of him standing their wearing nothing but a navy blue towel, making it instantly doubtful she would ever be able to remove the image from her mind. She was mumbling, trying to be coherent as Nick just smiled awkwardly, clutching the towel and running a hand through his hair. Miley's hands and the sleeves of her purple t-shirt were soaked where she had bumped into him, but apparently she didn't care as she stepped unsurely from foot to foot trying to find her words.

"Jesus Christ on a motorcycle..." she said finally, loud enough for Joe to snort loudly and muffle a guffaw of laughter as both he and Mandy covered his mouth with their hands.

Eventually she decided simply on looking down at her feet, her own hand running to forehead trying to shield her eyes and resist the urge to stare at him for too long. Mandy could see her mouthing curses to herself under her breath silently and would have sympathised with her best friend if it hadn't been for the hilariously obvious sexual tension that they had lowered the atmosphere with. She decided to watch on, her hand still wrapped around Joe's jaw to keep him silent.

"I was... uh... I was looking for my insulin pump..." he told her with a uncomfortable smile and pink cheeks, "I though I took it in the bathroom with me but uhh.... I must have forgotten it..."

Miley nodded nervously and pointed behind her, crossing her arms across each other as she did so, "I think I saw it in the kitchen..." she darted her eyes up to look at him and grimaced noticeably as he struggled to squeeze past her, their bodies sliding against each other again.

"Sorry..." he said as he covered her in the left over water covering his body, "Sorry..."

She forced an awkward smile and shook her head, clutching her phone to her chest protectively, "Don't worry 'bout it..." she grimaced again as his towel caught on her boot. He tugged it away carefully, "I'm just gonna...."

"Yeah."

"...I need to make a phone call."

"Of course."

"I'll see you later..."

"Cool... bye..."

"See ya."

Nick watched Miley leave the room, his hands still clutching at the towel as he made sure she was out of sight before moving. He sighed irritated at himself before turning around and catching sight of the one thing that he didn't want to see at that moment.

Mandy and Joe stared at him awkwardly, like what had just happened hadn't been real at all. They were dumbfounded at Nick who just shook his head at them and wandered over to the kitchen to grab his pump and storm from their presence.

Mandy looked at Joe who was simply shocked to the core, mouth wide open at what he had just witnessed.

"What the heck?!"

"I know..." Mandy sighed as she rested her elbow on the table, propping her chin up on her hand.

"_What _are they doing?!" Joe hissed and Mandy regretted ever telling him that she found it kinda cute how he gossiped like a girl, cos in actual fact, he liked to girl talk more than she did sometimes, "I mean... it's obvious that they're like totally in love with each other!"

Mandy nodded bored and dug around the piles of decorations for the remote to the small TV that sat atop the kitchen counter, "You're telling me Dude..." she said as she yawned, clicking on the TV to find that _White Christmas _was on TV, "Mmm... you know what it is... don't you?"

Joe frowned, trying to fight the urge to let himself get immersed in the movie, "What?"

Mandy shrugged her shoulders and wrapped her arm around his neck as he moved back against her.

"They're in de-niley."

Joe laughed as he watched the movie, suddenly laughing hard at what was happening on screen causing Mandy to becoming confused to what he found funny, and look down at him.

"What?"

Joe slowed down his laughed, "You totally know what we need to do, don't you?"

Mandy shook her head at him and sighed, "You say that I'll know, but I never, _ever_ do, Joseph..."

Joe smiled before leaning to kiss her, "_The best things happen while you're dancing_, Amanda..." he whispered as he jumped up from his chair heading out of the room to find some source of internet, "Just listen to what Bing and Danny have to say..."

Mandy realised just what he was talking about and smiled happily, "If you get this right, Joseph, I will be incredibly impressed it we get a '_White Christmas'._"

* * *

"Ohmygosh..." Miley said unimpressed as they wandered through the doors and into the large hall filled with already spinning doubles, "What the heck is this place?"

Joe laughed and looked around at her, feeling that she didn't quite like the idea of their surprise outing he had planned for them all on his own with Mandy's supervision. She'd been sceptical when he'd told both her and Nick to put on their best clothes and join them for an evening of fun filled festivities in order to get the holidays started. She'd come down to their kitchen an hour later as the other three stood around waiting for her, late as usual, only to find that there had been some changes they hadn't realised during today's visit to New York. She was wearing her a brand new perfect dress, barely any make-up and most noticeably, all her own hair and only her own hair. It was now a good few inches shorter grazing the tops of her breasts tauntingly. Joe could hear the echo, feel the vibrations and see the bobbing of Nick's throat as he gulped at the sight of her. His plan was half moving into motion.

"We're in a retirement home..." Nick mumbled to her his hands in his pockets as his coat lay thrown over his arm, "It's thier matinee tea dance... we used to sneak here as kids to listen to them play the rat pack songs..."

Miley smiled at him without realising, "Cute."

Nick's eyes sparkled, "It's was Kevin's idea."

Before their mini-moment could continue, Joe was grabbing her hand and spinning her into a twirl moving her towards the dancefloor, refusing to let her argue with him as she protested that she was wearing the wrong shoes. In fact she was wearing perfect shoes and he knew that being the closet metro that he was. Nick watched, smiling at them as Joe spun her some more before dipping her backwards to the grins of the old couples.

"Are you gonna ask me to dance or not, Mr Jonas?" Mandy giggled as she stood behind him, "Because we're gonna look silly otherwise."

Nick smiled at held out his hand almost instantly, his body already moving to the Frank Sinatra song that was already playing, "Care to have this dance Miss Mandy?"

She took his hand and let him lead her, "I do indeed Mr Nicholas."

"So..." Joe said as he moved her around the floor, keeping his eye on Mandy the best he could in order to continue his plan, "You look pretty today..."

Mileyy looked up at him, "Ew. What do you want?"

Joe shook his head, shrugged his shoulders and tried to look as innocent as possible, "Nothing..." he smiled, "Nothing at all... I was just wondering how you've been doing with all the stuff that's been going on..." Miley looked at him and waited for him to make himself clear to what "Stuff" he was talking about. There had been so much stuff going on, and they both knew it. It was time to make everything clear - just in case. "I mean... you know... your dad... the interviews and... ya know... Nick..."

Miley smirked at him as he kept his eyes away from her just so that he couldn't see the assumed anger they would possess. He failed to see the amusement in her eyes and he looked around eventually when she didn't say anything for a few long moments where he was unsure of the preservation of his life. When he saw the smirk and the twinkling eyes, he knew that he was okay, and that at most he'd get a kick in the shins. But he could deal with that, so he pushed his luck and smiled.

"Just friends." She mumbled in finality, but it didn't stop him from raising his brow at her and smiling even wider.

"Just friends?"

She nodded, "Yep."

Joe giggled, "But you and Nick have never really been just friends, Miles."

She sighed, "Well we now we _are, _Joe."

Joe nodded, in understanding and she could see him thinking, almost hear the cogs turning in his brain, where he was thinking so hard. His eyes were over her shoulder as he held her in his arms still swaying and turning her to the music and he was looking at something that was approaching. She turned to attempt to see what he was looking at, but before she could, he was talking and her eyes were back on him instantly.

"I think you need to tell him that..." he said and he spun her outwards one last time, until she shook unsteadily on her feet, spinning across the floor.

"Wha--"

All she felt was the grunt of acknowledgement of two bodies crashing against each other in the centre of the dance floor. Her hair fell in her face, and as she brushed it back and tried to steady herself on her heals, she became aware that Joe had let go and was now floating around the dance floor with Mandy, off around the edges where she couldn't get to them without being noticed. Instead, they'd left her standing beside Nick, who was smoothing out his fresh crisp suit.

"Nice..." she muttered as Nick finally realised that they were standing together below the sparkling disco ball, not moving and just facing each other like they didn't know what they were meant to be doing.

She smiled at him nervously and fidgeted on the spot. He smiled back and shrugged his shoulders, "Wanna dance?"

She smiled at the ridicularity of his question considering they were already standing in the middle of a few dozen oldies who were already dancing, and it seemed only natural for them to be dancing in the centre of them. Instead of answering, she just chuckled low in her throat and wrapped an arm around his shoulders and offered him her hand. He took it, wrapping his spare arm securely around her waist and holding her against him tightly.

They smoothly moved around the room, in silence, watching all the other couples smile and laugh with each other. It seemed that the only couple Miley and Nick's eyes were concerned with looking at were that of Joe and Mandy who were still stupidly dancing around the room like they'd been doing it for years, joking with each other, kissing each other in jest and smiling widely when one another whispered something into each other's ear. Miley stared, watching them, completely unaware that Nick was doing the exact same thing as they lazily listened and moved to the music.

"They're really great together..." Nick muttered and she looked up at him, noticing what was in his eye line and agreeing with a nod.

She smiled and inwardly swooned at the change in the music. Elvis Presley's "Can't help falling in love with you"... it seemed just a little to fitting for the sight that she saw before her. Joe and Mandy couldn't help falling in love with each other, and hadn't been able to stop. She wanted a story like that so badly. She wanted a boy who couldn't help falling in love with her and that just wanted to love her and accept the inevitability of their love. She wanted a fairytale. She wanted the magic of a million love songs. She wanted a love that was like no other.

"They're in love with each other..." she whispered with a nod, "They were meant to be together. It was inevitable."

Nick looked down at her, just as gentle as she looked up at him, when hearing the words leave her mouth. She smiled at him and he relaxed when he realised she wasn't being unkind when she reminded him of what he had done to stop them being so inevitable, but was simply informing him that he was small in the grand scheme of things. She was informing him that it didn't really matter what he had done, because love was stronger than anything else and could endure anything... even the idiotic actions of a childish imbecile who wanted the world as his own. And he understood that now. He understood that their were bigger things in the world and he was just a miniscule part of it.

"I regret keeping them from each other..." he told her quickly as they gazed at one another.

Miley smiled and shrugged, "There's no point beating yourself up about it now..." she said airily, "They're together now and what you did probably only made them stronger in the long run..." she shrugged again and it was a little more pronounced causing him to smile, "They should probably be thanking you really..."

Nick shook his head, remembering Miley's very public demanding of them talking to each other at her birthday party, "They should be thanking both of us..."

Miley smiled, "I don't think that my hand in getting them together was nearly as well done as yours..."

He smiled and shook his head at her, "Things would be a lot different... a lot _better_ if I hadn't done all that stuff, Miles..."

Miley stared at him and shook her head, "It's all to do with learning and growing up, Nick... it had to be done at some point," she smiled fondly and shrugged trying to seem blasé, "Plus, I like how we're friends now..." he looked at her confused, so she cleared her throat and explained as his dark brown eyes bore into her a little too deeply, "We weren't really friends before..."

Nick looked a little hurt and Miley felt the over-whelming urge to correct herself and change her statement to something a little less hurtful and mind-altering.

"Weren't we?" he asked her as she let her mind buzz, trying to think of something that wasn't the truth, but knowing, almost instantly, that it was going to come out anyway.

She shook her head, "We were together from the moment we met, Nick... the moment we stopped being together it was over for us, almost instantly. We couldn't be friends back then because I was way too in love with you and you were too way over being in love with me... For me it hurt just hearing your name, for you there was just boredom in hearing mine," he stared at her like she was offering him some instant clarity through her marvellous words, "It's been nice these last few weeks just learning to be your friend... I like that a lot. It makes me feel better."

He wouldn't lie; part of him ached in knowing that she was so happy with them being friends, the finality in her voice removing any hope from him that they would ever be together again. But for some strange reason, the solidarity of her words assured him that he wasn't going to lose her again and that they were going to be friends for a long time. He would settle for that. He would settle for being her friend. He liked it too. He liked being there for her and holding her without being judged for it. He liked that he could ask her if she was okay and have the amount of confidence in her that she would answer him truthfully. Slowly he was beginning to think that maybe this was only wanted he needed. That being her friend would always be enough for him and that he couldn't ruin that by continuing his hopeless mission to make her fall in love with him again. Maybe she loved him now, but as a friend... and that was enough.

He narrowed his sparkling eyes and nodded at her.

"Me too."

She smiled and he couldn't help but catch the need to smile himself, "Great."

"Friends is good."

But the sparks in their stomachs said different as they stood below the sparkling, spinning disco ball in the middle of the heavily holiday decorated dance hall. The bubbling and the caressing of emotions inside their bellies said so much more than they wanted them too. Those aching flutters and tremors upon looking at the sight of each other's eyes, so transparent to each other and showing each other everything they needed to, begged and demanded more than what their words told of them. The connection between the two was stronger than they would have liked at that moment, their hands moulded together like they would never part. The half darkness twinkling with the sparkling rainbow reflections that covered and illuminated their faces so that they could see nothing clearly but each other, smiles still present on their faces, but failing slowly as realisation seemed to hit slowly.

"Hey!"

Miley jumped and turned around to find that the music had stopped and that she and Nick were just still turning on the spot below the disco ball. She turned, instantly blushing, to find Joe standing beside her, his hands on both their shoulders shaking them pointedly. She coughed and unwrapped her arms from around Nick taking a step back, looking at his brother expectantly as she blushed red and continued to uncomfortably smile.

"What's up?"

"Do you remember Old Mandy and Jenna...?"

Miley's stomach dropped, but she smiled anyway, trying to force away the memories of exactly who Mandy and Jenna were.

"Yeah..." Nick said before her and both brother's turned to her to see her answer. She nodded uncomfortably, folding her arms and frowning. She watched Nick as the brothers spoke, "Why?"

"Mandy's having a party. She works here and we just saw her... and she invited me... in a rather... sultry and suggestive manner to her party that my Mandy caught sight of."

"Uhoh..." Miley said knowing that her Manderz could sometimes be a complete idiot about things like that.

"Yeah..." Joe said with a roll of his eyes, "So to stop her from kicking the crap outta her.... or, ya know, initiating a dance off..." He smiled at Miley widely, rubbing his arm after she punched him on the top of it, hard, "I got all four of us invited... didn't say any names of course... just said that I was gonna bring my girlfriend and a couple of friends..."

"Joe..." Nick started unsure.

Joe grabbed him by the shoulders, and shook him, "I _can't_ handle those girls on my own with Mandy there."

Miley laughed, "What makes you think he's gonna help?"

Nick was amused and offended. He smiled at her before turning back to his brother, "I'll come... and I'll show this wise-ass how I can handle the ladies..."

He grinned as Joe wrapped an arm around him and lead him over to the door where Mandy was stood talking to the girl who apparently they would be spending the rest of their time with and the girl who had been the catalyst in ruining the only real relationship she'd ever been in. Miley watched and played his words over and over in her head. He was going to show her how he could handle the ladies. Her heart ached hard in her chest and she attempted to tell herself that it wasn't jealousy...it was simply the remembrance that she already knew how much and how well he could handle the ladies... a way that she had experienced first hand.

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**A/N: Yes? No? Reviews? NJK Awards Votes?!?!?!? :O**

** :)**

**Next chapter, I've picked Some Gaga and the song Ion Square by Bloc Party. You should attempt to listen to it before the next chapter :) PM me if you need a hand getting hold of it. **

**So, next chapter's the party. It's called "The Love Game" (I think) and those kids are gonna be crammed like sardines and partay the ravey british way. **

**Chapter spoilery bits:**

**Chapter 36: Miley, Nick, Sex, Drugs, Swimming Pools, Bathrooms, Alcohol............ Make your own conclusions :)  
**

**Chapter 37: Miley feels the effects. **

**Chapter 38: Miley talks boys with a boy. **

**Chapter 39: Nick walks in on something that makes his heart hurt. **

**Chapter 40: Sibling Love :)**


	36. Beats In Time

**A/N: To get my idea of what this chapter is, you should listen to any Lady Gaga song for the first half and Bloc Party's Ion Square for the second when they begin dancing. (PM for songs if you need/want them :))**

**If not, you can pick your own music. But these were the two songs/artists I listened to as I wrote it. **

**So, This chapter, I think you all know what it's about pretty much. But maybe you don't... so you should read it... and definately review it... because I don't like it. And I don't think it makes sense... **

**Or maybe it's not meant to make sense... **

**Question the drugs :) **

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own NUTHIN! **

**PS. Thank you to geigergirl and xXSherryh who became the 100th and 101st people to favourite me as an Author... Rock and Roll ;)

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**Chapter 36 - Beats In Time**

_'I carry your heart here with me_

_I carry it in my heart_

_I carry your heart with me_

_I carry it in my heart' _

_Ion Square - Bloc Party _

Miley had been to the Grammy's. She had been to the Oscars and she had been to more parties than she would like to remember. But this kind of party, the raw teenage adrenaline fueled party that this was, was incredibly strange and new to her. There were no gift bags, there was no champagne and cocktails. There was no DJ, or a band, just a kid with a laptop and a really good speaker set. There was no fancy decorations, just the toilet paper covering the walls that some idiot had thought it would be really funny to decorate them with. There was no cameras, no security and no one she had to make like her. She could just wander around and not be judged by anybody, because quite frankly, the guests at this party were doing a lot worse. They were unlike the kids who she often saw at parties who just wanted to see who was the best out of all of them, who was the most talented and who was more famous. All they wanted to do was drink, have fun and do as much stupid stuff as they could with the least amount of responsibility. Being in a place so out of control, so massively careless and thoughtless, made her feel uncomfortable. She'd not often been in a place where no one cared what each other did, not judging each other and just laughing and smiling.

"Is that kid peeing in the pot-plants?" she mumbled to Nick as he held her hand and led her through the party to stop her being taken in a tide of drunk, high teenagers who would probably freak the heck out at the sight of her.

He looked over to the outside on the deck where a kid in a beanie had his jeans and boxers around his ankles as he peed into the pot of begonias. Their eyes narrowed as they caught the sound of the gentleman telling his friends that he was trying to keep them warm in the winter, being too drunk to realise that the flowers were already dead and had wilted already. Nick smiled amused before turning quickly to Miley, who rose her eyebrow at him and gave him a smile that made his chest flutter shamelessly.

"Wow..." Miley said as she wandered through to the kitchen with Nick who had somehow lost Joe, the two Mandy's and Jenna on their treck through the house. Nick turned to her, passing her a red plastic cup that was so cliche it almost made him smile, and gave her a questioning gaze, "What are those people doing in that pool...?"

Nick turned and gulped at the sight he saw. It was something he had never seen in LA and that was saying something. Five naked people, three girls and two guys, all in swimming pool apparently engaged in things that he had only ever quickly looked away from when he'd caught Joe looking at them on TV in hotel rooms or occasionally seen in his most random dreams. He stared through the empty kitchen window for a moment, before turning back to her, finding her perched on the kitchen counter pouring herself a cup of just plain diet coke and fought away the redness building in his cheeks.

"There's something you don't see everyday." he smiled trying to break the discomfort.

Miley watched him slowly as he poured himself his own cup of diet coke and slowly drank from it saying nothing. She wanted to ask him questions, ask him why he looked so calm in a place like this and if he had been to a party like this before. She hadn't. She'd been with kids and had done some stupid things. But she had never been to a place like this where everything was so crammed in, so claustrophobic, that being in the most open place of the entire house was making her chest ache already. He looked so used to seeing people like this, so idiotic and carefree, and that unnerved her into thinking that at some point in the past he had done some of these stupid things too. Maybe one time when she hadn't known him, he had been the kid who had TP'ed the walls or who had peed in the pot plants. He had done things like this without her, experienced this without her, and that scared her just a little too much for her own liking. It made her feel like she was unequal.

"I didn't realise that you knew Mandy and Jenna..." Nick muttered catching her attention, "I mean... I knew that you knew who Mandy _was_... but I never realised that you knew _her_."

Miley smiled and him and gulped, "I met them when we were on tour last year. When we were in Jersey... a few days before we broke up."

Nick's face dropped, "Oh..."

"Yeah..." she nodded and her cheeks flushed pink, "Jenna text me a couple of times. After Kevin lost his cell phone last year..."

Nick's face seemed to slowly come to a realisation and she heard him gulp, pressing his back up against the sink, his eyes turned away from her uncomfortably. It was kinda weird how they hadn't got the courage to talk about that night when they had broke up, and all the things that had happened to make it occur. They used to talk about everything, and they kinda talked about everything now. It felt kinda strange that it had never been spoken about before. It seemed like one of the things that they needed to talk about. Why they didn't... she was unsure of.

"She told you?"

Miley looked up at him and smiled weakly for a second, the remembrance bringing an ache to her chest and gut for a second that she had to try and control for bringing tears to her eyes. Instead she let her eyes sparkle at him, trying to stay as calm and clear minded as possible. She wanted to say something funny, break the ice and keep the mood light-hearted, but the pain stopped her from talking. Instead, she nodded slowly with a gentle smile.

"_Damn_..." He breathed out and shook his head, "You never told me that..."

Miley smiled and drunk from her cup, eyes situated staring above his head at the clock. It was only nine o'clock.

"You never gave me the chance..." she shook her head and smiled, "It doesn't matter now."

Nick looked at her hopelessly and shook his head, putting down his cup and bracing his hands against the edge of the sink, knuckles turning white, "But I feel like it does, Miles..."

She shook her head and clutched her cup to her chest as she pushed herself off of the worktop and back onto the floor, finding her feet quickly, "Well it doesn't..." she moved to put her cup down, failing to remember that it was probably dangerous in a place like this, "I need the bathroom..."

Nick nodded, "I'll show you where it is..."

She smiled in thanks before letting him take her hand and guide her back through the house and through the ever increasing crowds of drunk and loud teenagers. Miley kept her head down and avoided eye contact as it seemed it was normal for Nick to be wondering around the people unnoticed. It almost seemed like they didn't care that he was there even though he was probably the most famous person they knew. She saw Joe however, smiling and laughing in a group of people with his Mandy, all of them hanging on his every word. She couldn't help but think that it was the same age-old story of Joe having more friends than Nick, being the more likeable one. It made her smile and feel sad simultaneously, because he wasn't _that_ bad of a person.

"Here..." Nick said as he tugged her forward in front of him as they wandered into the furthest hallway of the house downstairs, showing her the door well hidden beneath the staircase, "I'll wait outside."

She nodded and watched as he opened the door for her. She gasped instantly at what she saw and looked away, her cheeks blushing furiously embarrassed, mixed with a dash of fear and discomfort.

"Holy crap!" Nick said as he stood their staring at the two young people who stood crammed into the tiny bathroom, completely naked. Their bodies were pressed against each other, quite obviously engaged in the one thing that Miley and Nick were openly unfamiliar with. They didn't even turn around as the young pair saw them, and simply continued in their tribulations, moving quickly together. Miley's mouth fell open in shock as she noticed the clothing pooled around their feet, and the rolled up twenty-dollar bill that was still clutched in the dark-haired girl's hand. Her eyes darted around the room as she noticed the bag of white powder and the remnants of some of it on their naked bodies. She heard the sounds and the cries. She felt the heat from their bodies and the own heat building up in her cheeks and on her skin. She fought her eyes and tried to look away.

"Let's go..." Nick said taking her hand and closing the door, "I'm sure you don't need to pee that bad..."

She shook her head, pink cheeks sparkling brightly, "No... yeah... lets go get a drink..."

It didn't take them long before they were standing in the kitchen again, finding three new inhabitants sitting on the worktops and leaning against the walls. They smiled when they saw her, the middle man who was chilling on the worktop holding a plate and a bag of powder instantly laughing and tapping his friend on the shoulder.

"Dude... I'm so high I can see Hannah Montana..." he laughed like an idiot. Miley cocked an eyebrow and folded her arms as Nick moved to pour them two new drinks, "But she's like... not Hannah Montana... she's that other chick that's on Hannah Montana..."

"Dude... dude..." Miley turned to the one closer to her who was staring at her like aliens had just landed where she stood, "I don't think that it's because you're high... I can see her too! She must really be here!"

He stretched out a hand to touch her, only for Miley to swat him away and glare. Nick smiled as he watched on, knowing full well that she would be able to handle this on her own.

"Oh mannnn! Hannah Montana's in my kitchen at my little sisters party!" the main man in the middle laughed as he took a quick sniff of the stuff on the plate, using a pink curly straw to do so, "I'm so glad that I dropped out of college this week!"

"Lord have mercy..." Miley muttered as she watched them, half amused, half revolted.

"Hey! Hey... Hannah Montana..." whispered the guy who had just been stood their cackling softly to himself at the thought of her being there, as he wobbled over to her with a smile, "You want some of my good stuff...?"

She looked at him confused and shook her head at him, definitely disgusted, "Good stuff?"

He nodded and tugged the plate from his friend's hands, "Yeah... the good ol' white stuff... the all-American drug... Charlie... coke... blow..." she stared at him mortified but all he did was take the straw and sniff a line of his own, "I was meant to get double this but my ass of a dealer said that his prices had gone up... something to do with a recession or something..." he shrugged and rubbed his nose, "I don't really know what that means..."

Miley looked at him and shook her head, a laugh escaping her in disbelief, "Are you kidding?"

He looked at her like she'd asked him to explain quantum mechanics to her, just staring at her with his mouth agape. She looked at him suddenly serious and let her eyes grow wide.

"Oh my gosh... you're not kidding..."

He smiled unsurely and shrugged his shoulders, "It's good stuff... only a couple of my boys have had convulsions and OD'ed on it..." her mouth dropped open, "but they just got a little too excited and happy about it... it's okay if you keep yourself steady and slow."

"No thanks."

The apparent leader of the their little group laughed and shook his head at her, "Now you're kidding..." she turned to him confused, suddenly aware that Nick was at her heal watching on with their drinks in his hands, "Baby, you're famous... who you foolin'?"

He held out the plate and the straw. She just stared at him with tired, unimpressed eyes and shook her head, "Just because I'm famous, doesn't mean I'm also stupid..."

She knew instantly that she'd said the wrong thing, all three of them jumping to their feet to glare at her angrily, "Are you calling us stupid?"

Miley looked around at Nick who had already rid himself of the drinks and grabbed her around the elbow. She felt dizzy suddenly, and she began to wonder if her previous drink had been just Diet coke and not something a little stronger. She felt strange and a little bit too confident with herself. She felt like she could do anything.

"Umm... no." she shook her head, "You're probably _not_ stupid... you're probably _really_ intelligent if you went to college..." she shrugged her shoulders, "But obviously these drugs are making you stupid and ruining your futures..."

"Oooooookie-dokie..." Nick said, and she felt him pull her away back into the loud throbbing crowd of people filling the living room, dancing and pulsating to the music. She turned to him with a glare, waiting for answers. "That was about to get messy."

She scoffed and shrugged her shoulders, "I could have handled them."

"They were druggies."

"They were on coke. Most of the people I come in contact with on a daily basis are on coke."

He laughed and pulled her further into the crowd as he saw the guys standing by the door looking for them. He hid them in the fast-paced movement of the crowd, people pushing up against them as it became darker and darker as they moved further and further away from the normal lights. Soon they were pressed together in the crowd, illuminated only by the low lit ambience of the neon Christmas tree lights that hung in bunches around the walls painting their faces with a pink, orange, green and blue glow, the colours blending to make new ones on their cheeks.

"That's a very negative outlook to have."

She smiled and shrugged her shoulders, "Yeahhh... well it's a true one."

Nick laughed and shook his head, bringing her in close as someone tried to squeeze past them, "Those guys aren't your usual coke heads, Miles..." he kept his arm wrapped around her, "They're the mean kind who actually have to do things that people don't usually do to get their fix... you know? They hurt things... and people..."

She looked at him slightly alarmed and nodded quickly in understanding, "We're in a different world here."

He nodded, and felt as she wrapped her arm around him, moving slowly to the music as though suddenly catching some slow moving virus unknowingly. He gulped, feeling her hands low on his back, pressing them together. He repeated her words over and over again in his mind, struggling as her other arm wrapped around his neck to support herself as more people came close to them, pushing them into the dark corner of the room. Instantly, for different reasons, he had to agree with her. This _was _a different world... a different sensation. It was so awkwardly new, but so wonderfully right.

"A _completely _different world..." he muttered as he wrapped his arms tighter around her and began moving softly to the music.

They weren't in anyway dancing, he soon realised, they were literally just moving their bodies to music in time with the beat of it. They swayed gently from side to side, their bodies close together, arms holding each other as they listened to the words of the music as hard as they could through the buzz of screaming people, animated conversation and background music that seemed to overpower it.

The tempo increased, their feet bouncing with it as their hands held on as tight as they could. He could feel her fingers digging into his arms, his back and his neck as they moved constantly from spot to spot, unable to stop moving as he held her as close as possible. He could hardly breathe, the world seemed so small as he held her. But it didn't seem to matter, because as always, she was the world for him. There was nothing more important. But the claustrophobia in the room highlighted that, reminding him for those seconds that ticked away as they moved against each other to the sound of the music, that she was all that he could really ever care about. She was enough, she was everything, and the world could close around him as much as it liked to try and segregate him from it and she would still be the only thing close enough to him, the only thing he needed right beside him. He was the only thing he could hold onto and need. She was it. She kept his heart beating.

Her breathing was hard and fast against his neck, her lips close to the opening of his shirt, and causing his neck to become clammy with the cold water vapour she released onto his steadily warming skin. Her face, had somehow, buried itself into his neck and their bodies had began to buzz with the need for each other that they hadn't even realised had been there. It was all of a sudden no longer a simultaneous need to move to the music, but an overwhelming shared need for each other. There was some relatability that they both felt in that room, one that reminded them that they were exactly the same while everyone else was different. They were both from the same mold and everyone else was made from something else that meant they couldn't understand what they felt in the world. They could understand each other, they had always been able to understand each other while everyone else seemed to be out of sync with how they felt and how they thought. The rest of the world seemed to be out of step with how they danced, their movements perfectly timed and wonderful. They created magic that neither of them could see, that neither of them could admit was there, but could be felt in the hollow spaces that their chests had become. They could feel the thud that returned to their once hurting chests as they held each other, brains stopping them from calling it something other than the vibrations of the music.

_When had she become so desperate for the feel of his skin? _

It was the only thing that she could struggle to ask herself and the only thing that he wished he knew the answer to. They failed to ask themselves why the thud in their chests could only be felt when their eyes and their hands found each other. They failed to realise that even though they couldn't feel it properly, their hearts beat perfectly together to make music that they could hardly hear in their echoing ears.

"_Wow_..." She breathed as she felt his hands run down her back, feeling every inch, every curve and quarry barely able to stop himself under the pressure of the presence of each other. She could feel herself loosing control as her hand hovered over the smooth fabric of his shirt and to the perfect skin of his neck. Her hands entwined themselves around the back of it. Her fingers buried themselves into his hair as she moved, moved so steadily to the sound of the music that was echoing in her ears like the beat of a drum... like the beat of her slowly fixing heart.

"_Yeah_..." he whispered into her ear, his lips grazing over her skin barely noticeable. She too, could feel all of him, his breath curling around her skin and engulfing her as it left his lips. His skin surrounded her until he was the only thing in her world, clouding her senses.

Her eyes, fluttered closed, only opening when they couldn't bear to stay closed anymore. They opened when she needed to see him, needed to be sure that he was really there. She had to be sure that he was really there, because she needed to know that they were awake, that she wasn't dreaming and that this boy was the real Nick. He was the new Nick that was so close to being the _real_ Nick that she could barely breathe at the thought of his return. She was so close to believing that he was back, so stupidly close that it terrified her and made her ecstatic simultaneously. It made them both incredibly happy that somehow, their bodies and their minds being this close, made them realise that they were exactly the same people as they used to be and that this was what they had been waiting for. This movement, this feeling, this aching euphoria that flooded their senses that was nothing but the true feeling and presence of each other, had been worth all what they had been through.

There was no time to waste. There was no time to even spare. Because what if it happened all over again? What if they lost each other once more? They weren't strong enough to do it all over again. They weren't smart enough and strong enough to fight for each other again. They hadn't even been strong enough to fight for each other every moment for the past year. How could they do it again if their resolve to fight was weakening into something else? They had needed too much to fight against it until they were so close to not caring. They had ignored every basic fact that they knew in their hearts about each other and had made it hard to admit that they even existed.

She would be lying if she said that at that moment as his hands covered every inch of her body, that she didn't need him. She would be a liar if she said his mouth pressed against her skin unmoving, just tasting and their eyes darting across each others features every few moments to savor the color of each others eyes didn't make her heart beat wilder in her chest than she could ever remember before. She would be lying if she said that she wasn't desperate to stay with him and make everything work for them. Quickly, so damn stupidly quickly, she was beginning to realise everything that she'd forgotten about him. She was realising that this boy was the one she had fallen in love with and that they one who had broken her heart was no more. He was just a figment of her imagination, something that plagued her dreams and made her cry. He was something that no longer existed anymore, just something living in her mind that could be forgotten about once happiness and remembrance removed it from the corners of her still growing memory.

Her lips, moved slowly against his neck, so unnoticeably that he could barely tell if she was kissing it or just talking against the column of his throat. He could feel words slipping from her lips and forming against his skin but he couldn't decifer them as much as she could understand what she was so pathetically saying... begging... hoping...

The tempo moved quicker, but their bodies seemed to slow down, their hands grabbing and holding each other like they would lose each other if they were separated. People pushed them together, until they felt like their chests were compressed together as one. They could barely move, but they found a way too. She felt his hands scrunching his fingers into the curls of her newly shorter hair. She felt how their bodies ground together until she could feel every part of him, every muscle, every huge sensation of stimulation that was new and slightly terrifying for her. She waited for his excuses to why he was so excited, so stupidly aroused by what they were doing, but she doubted that she could listen to it as much as she thought he would be unable to even form a coherent string of words in his current bumbling condition.

They were both hot, both sweaty. Their clothes were soaked to their skin with their own perspiration as well as each others. Their lips were able to taste the saltiness of the other's skin as they moved against it, buried deep into his softness and tasted one and other. Both of their curly hair was slowly increasing in volume beneath their fingers as their fingers ran through it, caressed it and remembered the feel of it just like they wanted to.

They were older now, they had new bodies, new shapes that they had to remember and as much as Nick had experienced of Miley's new shape in their recent moments together, she had barely investigated any of his. Her fingers were on their own little missions, each of them giving her the new information that she needed to know. Teamed with her lips and the general press of her body against his, her fingers were helping to create a brand new knowledge of his body, just as he was doing with her.

The song began to slow to it's steady stop, and she was sure that this should have made them slowly move away from each other for the first time in minutes. But it made them worse, their fingers searching every part of each other, nothing stopping them or scaring them from investivating all the places they would have otherwise kept their wandering fingers from going. His fingers grazed over the rise of her chest, feeling the full flesh beneath her dress. Her hands clutched at his backside, holding him close, pressing their bodies together at every inch. She wanted them to be as close as possible, and succeeded until only their clothing stopped them. And as the music stopped and their hands stilled, faces moving too look at each other's reactions of what they had just done, she could flush nothing from her mind than the fact that at that very second, she wished that their clothes weren't in the way, and were somewhere else that couldn't bother them... that they were somewhere else alone where they couldn't be bothered or noticed.

His brown eyes told her everything as their mouths hovered so alarmingly, teasingly close to each other. His hands buried in her curls, and she could see the fight in his brain for him to just move those few centimeters to her lips. She realised where her hands were and slowly moved them, wrapping her arms around his torso, bringing him closer. Her nose twitched to rub encouragingly across his, coaxing him into doing the only thing she could seem to want him to do.

No.

She needed him to do.

She needed his lips against hers and his hands on her skin.

And as she stood their with their bodies entwined into each other, a new song starting as the beat of the previous one still rattled in their chest, she knew that no matter what, tonight, she was going to get it.

* * *

**A/N: Be gentle... it's not one of my best. I apologize in advance.  
**

**Chapter 37 - Miley feels the effects of the party**

**Chapter 38 - Miley talks with her father**

**Chapter 39 - The family's get together for the Holidays**

**Chapter 40 - Christmas Eve! **

**Chapter 41 - Togetherness :) **

**PS. All of you guys are too nice in your reviews. I am in no way as good as you think I am... But I still love you all for it anyway :) **

**Reviews and NJK Award votes?**


	37. The Lightening Strikes

**A/N: This chapter, out of all the chapter's I've written - and I wrote some risqué chapters in It's My Party - has made me feel slightly weirded out. I have no idea why… it's probably because I love this story so much. It's taken me three days to write this which is very abnormal for me. **

**You can probably guess... this is THE chapter... this is it. This is the naughtiest I'm going to get... **

**WARNING: INSINUATION OF EXTREMELY ADULT CONTENT! RUN AWAY! RUN FAR FAR AWAY! Or, you know... don't... if you can handle it... and instead... love it, review and vote for me in the NJK awards :D:**

**RIGHT. SO. You guys wanted them to kiss... welll... I can do better than that :)

* * *

**

**Chapter 37 - The Lightening Strikes**

She wanted to kiss him and, for once, she didn't feel ashamed about it. She'd spent so long, so stupidly long worrying about the past and not even thinking about the right now. She'd spent so long thinking about what she'd done, and hating every part of it. She had thought so long about what everyone had done but not what they could do. There was so much she had forgotten about and so much she hadn't taken into consideration. She'd forgotten that everyone deserved a second chance and that Nick had more than proved that he was the same boy she'd fallen in love with.

But they were just stood there, lips almost touching, and he wasn't doing anything. He was just standing there holding her like he was frozen in time, like he didn't want the moment to end. He was refusing to make the moment last longer, to move on into something that could make everything better for the pair of them. For once she didn't care about the world, she cared about herself and she cared about him and how much she needed him to kiss her right that very second. It felt too much like she'd been waiting for this. Her subconscious was buzzing, like it was teasing her telling her "I told you so". Her eyes were fluttering because she could barely contain herself from doing something silly like kissing him first. Her mind was too overloaded to understand what it was doing, but she knew that she couldn't make the first move. It would be suicide.

She was panting, and she knew that it was probably giving her desires away. But she knew, she could tell from the throbbing she could feel pressed against her radiating from his hips, that he wanted her as much as she wanted him. It was quite obvious. The pink of his cheeks and the heavy breathing that hit her lips making them moist told her so. The grip of his arm around her body seemed to be tightening and the clutch of his hand on her cheek was wavering, tempted as it fought against pulling her towards him and doing exactly what they both knew they needed but were too scared to take. Her fingers flexed against his skin and her nose caressed his one more time, urging him to take because she knew that she wouldn't be able to. She needed him to do the one thing she was too scared to do at any time, not just right now. She needed him to kiss her because she knew if he didn't it would break her in two.

She didn't know how long it took, but it felt like seconds before she realised that she was being pulled through a crowd of a few dozen sweaty people and into an even more packed hallway full of faces she didn't recognise. She felt the rush of loneliness as he left her momentarily by the front door of this person's house and left to find something, or someone. She was still breathing heavily, her chest rising and falling alarmingly fast until she could feel the thudding of her already weak heart aching in her chest as she pressed her back against the shockingly cold wood of the door. She looked to her feet, finding her legs shaking and her hands unable to do nothing but flex lost in their actions and the loss of the feeling of skin. She had no idea what was going on.

She waited and she tried to think, but it was impossible. She could barely breathe let alone think. She was utterly confused and exhausted. She didn't know what she was doing or what she was thinking. Her mind was still buzzing and she was sure that she'd had more than just an normal glass of diet coke. There had to be something else because her heart and her veins seemed to be pulsating, the rush of the blood seeming almost too much as it passed through them loudly and heavily. Her eyes were clouded over and her throat was dry. She could almost sense that her pupils were dilated and she avoided the urge to look into them in the nearby mirror of the hallway. She didn't need anymore evidence that she was feeling shockingly different… but all too strangely amazing.

"Here…"

She felt the shove of her coat being pushed into her hands and she slipped it on without a word before Nick was grabbing her hand and pulling her out of the front door. Her feet tapped against the concrete of the driveway, and she could feel the patter of the rain hitting and rolling down her cheeks as it grew heavier and faster. He rushed her down the street, into the ambient darkness that barely lit their faces only illuminated and highlighted their features. Her feet ached as they walked faster and faster and she knew that there would be blisters if she didn't slow down. She could still hear both of their heavy, panting breaths past the rush of the rain in her ears and she could tell just by the frantic need of the world that something abnormal was about to happen… something mind altering and life-defining was ready to happen. The thing that scared her was that she wasn't prepared to stop it.

Her entire body jolted as he pulled her into the darkness of an alleyway, and her back seared with pain as he slammed her against the ice cold brick wall before pressing his entire body against hers. She was sure that part of her should have been scared as she felt his hands place themselves either side of her on the cold wall, numbing his fingers. But she couldn't be, because his nose was running against hers again and he was so close and so near to being hers that she was temporarily paralyzed. Her entire body was frozen, all apart from her hands that slowly rose themselves to clutch at his cheeks, pulling him closer and closer, and her eyes that seemed to be searching the little she could see of his own, begging for some sign of him wanting to stop her.

But he didn't…

He pressed his lips roughly to hers, desperately and wantonly until she was moaning almost soundlessly in the back of her throat. He kissed her until he could feel her breathlessly fighting to stay alive under the unrelenting press of his lips against hers. Their bodies were pressed together until there was no room, his fingers clutching at the wall attempting to find something to gravitate himself to. Her moans against him were less than moans, more desperate than moans… they were whimpers begging him to do something that she couldn't even name. They were in perfect synchronisation... the perfect balance of push and pull as her body arched into him and his pushed into hers to meet her movements. No rain, no air, no nothing could squeeze between them, only their desperation and their need for each other could escape between their separate flesh. They were almost breaking the laws of physics.

But he fought against himself, her previous words of friendship echoing in his mind as he struggled with what she wanted and what she thought she may want. He knew what her actions could be because of considering that he knew what was usually put in the diet coke at parties and how that might make Miley want to do things that she would otherwise never do in a million years. He knew how much she would hate him and how she would never forgive him again if he took advantage of her when she was like this... if she was the way he had assumed. But she would hate him anyway... Miley often took without thinking. No matter what happened, he knew that she would hate him for this and that was something he couldn't ruin now that they were at last happy in their friendship. He couldn't.

But there was so much questioning of what they appeared to want at that moment and what she really wanted in her heart. He had no idea what she wanted as she looked at him so lustfully, her hands clutching at his cheeks, lips pressed so easily against his. He had no idea how much she wanted this and how much she really needed it. He couldn't read her mind as much as he wanted to. He couldn't even read his own mind... her kisses could render him brain-dead. He had no idea what he wanted. He only had what he knew and he knew that he couldn't let her make anymore mistakes. He didn't _want_ her to make anymore mistakes. He would not be responsible for breaking her heart anymore. He wanted to put it back together.

"Miley…" he pulled away and only to peck her lips once again and sigh. His heart melted as she whimpered once more and let her nose reach to caress his softly again, her eyes low and heavy until he could almost think that she was dreaming.

"_Kiss me_..." she breathed and it made his entire chest seize up and ache, "_Just kiss me..._"

He shook his head and felt the soft skin of her perfect nose as he did so, running so carefully against his, "I can't..." her eyes opened and she was tugging surely on the back of his neck to bring him closer to kiss her again. It took all his control, just to stop her and speak, "I can't... I'm sorry... we're friends... we're only _just_ friends again... I can't... I can't..."

She kissed him, her entire body engulfing him for a few slow seconds where she kissed him so painfully gentle that he could feel it in every part of his body from his head to his toes to the tips of his fingers. His hands failed as they clutched at the wall, running roughly against the brick until it felt like the first few layers of skin were removed. He moaned and shook his head as she kissed him, rendering him completely and refusingly at her mercy.

"_I don't care_..." she breathed, her voice low, so arousingly low and husky that it made his throat hurt, "_I don't care..._"

He shook his head, pressing her against the wall, another moan leaving her lips with a sharp in take of breath.

"_But you don't want this..._"

She nodded, "_Yes... I do._"

He shook his head again, "No you don't... you're going to hate me..."

He moaned at the first press of her lips on his neck, her teeth biting softly at his flesh like she hadn't even realised what she had started to do, and before he even knew what was happening he was clutching at her waist with his betraying hands and tugging her hips against his until she was gasping in shock at the feeling. Her cheek pressed against his and he could feel her lips against his ear as she breathed heavier and heavier than he'd heard her before. She clutched herself to him with one arm, while the other placed itself on his chest beneath his coat. He felt her head shake so surely against his cheek that his eyes fell closed and he sighed in defeat.

"_I can't_... I can't hate you..." her voice was so sure, so strong that it scared him, "I want this... _I want you..._"

"Miley..."

"_Take me home_..."

He turned to look at her, the tone of her voice - the wavering nervousness in it - telling him that there was something she wanted that scared her and shocked her. He saw the alarm in her eyes as she stared at him, not knowing what she'd done in asking him, but being sure of it anyway. He searched her eyes for something, for some sign that this was just a cruel joke he would have gladly laughed off alongside her. He couldn't find it. He couldn't find anything at all but what was plainly put before him. He saw in her eyes what she wanted, but he couldn't dare voice it to ask her if it was real. Instead he simply pressed his lips to hers, just once until she was breathless, shaking and clutching at his cheek again and asked,

"_You're sure?_"

She nodded and he wrapped his arms around her tighter just as a way of consoling her in her words. She seemed a little lost but at the same time, so terrifyingly sure. She wanted this.

"Okay..." he whispered and he felt her relax in his arms. She gulped and suddenly nerves and fear became him. But he nodded knowing that this was what she wanted and what she needed, and took her hand in his, "Okay..."

* * *

The rain didn't seem to wash away their need for each other, but it did seem to wash his nerves to the forefront of his mind and his fingers as he clutched at her hands and pulled her towards a cab. He paid the driver before they got in, gave him a handful of cash that was way too much for the journey, but instantly told the driver that he was not to tell anyone what he'd seen... not that the older man would have even known who these two kids were wandering the streets at 11pm at night days before Christmas.

They sat in the back seat of the cab, kissing and holding each other just to stop the words that they both knew would come if they didn't. He felt her jump at the first loud crack of thunder and flash of lightening, her breathing becoming more and more laboured as she clutched her hands at the fabric of his shirt beneath his coat and tugged him on top of her. He gasped against her lips as his hands carried out a life of their own, grasping at her waist and her hips and pulling her to him until they met in the middle. It was pure desperation, withheld emotion that had been built up over months and barely released in-between.

The cabby said nothing as he drove them into the driveway after what seemed only seconds of them being entwined together. They moved quickly from the cab, mumbling gentle sheepish 'thank you's to the man as he stared at them through his rear-view mirror, looking at them like he couldn't quite place what was going on. Neither of the two teens cared what way he looked at them, Nick handing him another twenty dollar bill as he shakily followed Miley to the front door.

As soon as the door was open, Nick pushed her against the wall inside, pinning her hands to the wall either side of her as he pressed his body against hers, letting every inch of him press against her until they locked together like a puzzle. They weren't even kissing, their bodies were just pressed against each other until Miley could feel every part of him pressed against her in all the right places, hands disabled at her sides and her feet kicking off her shoes. Her cheek was pressed against his and her eyes closed of their own accord, fluttering against his cheek. She was panting so dangerously heavily in his ear and her already weak heart was hammering in her chest. It scared her.

It was her who made the first proactive decision, pushing his coat over his shoulders and down his arms as they stood their in the entrance way. She heard the rush of it as it hit the floor, her lips hitting his neck and kissing, biting, sucking, anything she could manage as she felt his nervous fingers travel up to her shoulders and as carefully as possible take off her own coat until it joined his on the floor.

"I don't know what you want..." she groaned as she pressed herself against the wall and moaned at the feeling of his teeth biting hard on the curve of her shoulder.

He shook his head, "I'm following your lead..."

She groaned, more in annoyance than pleasure. Her hands slowly moved to the back of his neck and tugged him closer as he kissed her neck, "You can't just say that... you need to tell me if you want this too..."

He nodded, "I do," she exhaled harshly as he soothed his bites with kisses, "Always have... _always will_."

Her eyes rolled back into her head, "_Jesus..." _

She pulled him to her, kissing him until he was breathless and clutching at her hips and feeling her body arch into him. She pushed him away from her once she could no longer feel her lungs and back against the wall where she had previously been. She pressed her fingers to the buttons at the front of his shirt, her hands shaking in her nerves and the rush of adrenaline. She saw the look of panic in his eyes and she ignored it taking the lead. She tried unfastening the buttons, her fingers not working, tugging at them until she felt them come undone or rip from the shirt and hit the floor as quick as lightening.

"_No sex..._" she breathed burying her face into his neck and kissing weakly, "We can't..." he nodded in agreement, his hands searching to find the zip of her dress, "I just wanna... I just wanna..." he pulled her to him, gentle fingers pushing her hair from her eyes as they looked at each other for a moment. She looked pained for a second before she kissed him just once, gently on the lips, "_I just want to hold you... and touch you... and--"_

He silenced her with kisses that told her of his agreement. He lifted her into his arms, letting her wrap her legs around his waist, carrying her along the hallways and upstairs. She pulled away from him as he carried her, pushing his shirt from his arms with his struggled help and lifting his undershirt up until it was bunched under his arms awkwardly. He almost fell as he saw her move against him and lift her dress over her head to reveal her flesh, wearing nothing but her soft cotton boy-shorts underneath.

He lowered her onto her bed, the one that they'd shared over the days she'd spent in his home, and his eyes widened as he saw her laying there, hair littering the pillow. She stared up at him nervously, silently begging him to stop, but he was paralysed. He saw almost every part of her and it was better than any wrong-felt dream he'd ever had. She was perfect and yet again he was reminded of how stupid he had been.

She moaned at the shock of him so quickly bounding to lay over her, kissing her again. His lips moved slowly, with the purpose of wanting to make her feel as perfect as she was. He kissed her and shed his clothes until he was in his underwear, his skin pressed to hers, making sure that she knew that he was there. Her breathing seemed to slow, but her heart sped up until it felt like a thudding in her throat trying to escape. The fingers of one hand entangled themselves in his hair, remembering just how soft it was, while the other pressed itself flat to the skin of his back, urging his hips against hers. She felt amazing.

"Are you sure...?" he whispered again, lips pressed against her ear as he kissed there, her fingers flexing uncontrollably against his bare skin, letting her fingernails bury themselves warningly into his flesh.

She nodded, and tried to force her voice that didn't want to do anything other than moan. She tangled their legs together, until it was impossible to tell whose was who, bringing him impossibly close. She hated that she'd waited this long to experience this.

It seemed like hours of them kissing and running their hands over each other. The rain grew louder on the windows and the roof until their movements seemed to go with the rhythm of the water that ran against the glass. Their gasps appeared to be in time with the crashes of thunder and electrifying lightening. The world seemed to flicker in the darkness and she was unsure if it was because her senses were failing or if the lightening was flashing into her exhausted and overwhelmed eyes. She could hardly move, her body aching all over as he just kissed her and worshipped her. She felt like she was the only thing in the world, her memories and her desires only of him. Her world, for those minutes as he kissed her, was him holding her, the feel of his lips and his fingertips making pathways across her skin that cleared the way for her shivers and goosebumps.

She whimpered as she felt his lips move from hers, kissing her cheeks and her neck just as he'd done the week before. But his hunger was more apparent, his fingers laden with more purposeful actions than sleep as he ran his hands all over her body, searching for something he didn't already know. Her fingers clutched at his neck and his shoulders and pulled on his hair as his movements darted across her body. She felt her body arch entirely against him when she felt the tingle of his fingers darting to the waistband of her underwear. Her breathing laboured until she was sure she was going to die. Her fingers were clueless, desperately searching for where they needed to hold onto as his kisses lowered to her stomach before reaching even lower on her hips. His fingers slowly pushed their way down her thighs, taking her underwear with them, as she gasped and grabbed at the sheets beneath her, holding onto reality.

She felt his lips panting against the toned skin of her stomach. One of his previously busy hands grasped for hers, letting her take it and hold onto it refusing to let go. She could feel his eyes looking at her, all of her, as his other hand ran it's way down one of her long legs that had found their way resting over his shoulders.

This was new but she wasn't afraid. The only part that scared her was her sudden desperate need for him to be the first person to touch her like this, see her like this, taste her like this... She hadn't known when her such strong adverse views to his current actions had changed and when she'd started to so desperately need him. But then it took one kiss to the inside of her thigh to make her realise that he had _always _been the first choice... the only choice... the only option. He had been the only boy she'd ever been able to imagine doing these things to her.

It made the moment when his lips and his fingers touched her all the more intense, all the more electrifying like the constant steady hits of the lightening past the windows and her eyes.

Her back arched higher with the new sensations and attention paid to places she never even knew existed. She partly wished she'd listened to Mandy's recommendation sooner, because this... what she was feeling right now because of him... it was spectacular. There had never been such a feeling that could make her feel so alive, so happy and so wanted in her entire life. There had never been such caring and deliberate actions that's only purpose was to make her feel relieved and satisfied. The building of the pressure that pooled between her hips was something that she felt could take everything bad away, like it was compiling and gathering together any frustration, fear, pain and anger that she'd had and was removing it so swiftly from her being.

But it was so much more than the steady relief of release. There was the connection between her and Nick, the undivided attention to her every action and reaction that was swooped up quickly into his mind, the realisation of what she needed quickly found and confidently taken out via his lips and fingers. It was him. That's all she could think of... was that... this was him... this was that beautiful caring young boy who she'd met all those years ago. He was back and he was there... and he _really _did love her. He _loved her _and he cared about her and he wanted to make her _happy_. _This _was the boy she'd fallen in love with.

The realisation made the release come all too quickly, her body arching and seizing against his movements as she could feel the sensation on every inch of her body. Her skin was on fire, tears in her eyes as her entire being throbbed with the sensation of what he had done to her... what he had made her feel. She panted as she groped at his shoulders, tugging him steadily back to face her, empty words tumbling from her lips as she kissed him and thanked him, shell-shocked as he kissed the beads of sweat from her forehead and wrapped his arms around her.

She looked at him just once, her hand drifting down between their bodies, watching as his eyes grew wide and his body almost failed and fell upon her. She looked at him, and just watched his resolve loosening at her movements, his eyes glassy and youthful, truth radiating from them as his lips struggled to kiss her, pressed against hers as he breathed so heavily against them.

It was then that she felt the ache die from her chest, the beating still there but no longer hurting. The truth in his eyes made her realise that it wasn't just the calm and the release washing all over her body and clearing her mind, that made the pain go away... It was the feeling of her heart being slowly fixed, it's beat steadying to a perfect rhythm as Nick took it into his hands and pieced it back together.

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**A/N: Don't judge me. **

**It's probably not even as dirty as I think it is. **

**Chapter 38 - Someone gets paid a visit  
****Chapter 39 - Nick contemplates  
Chapter 40 - Trace and Brandi talk to Miley  
Chapter 41 - Awkwardness.  
Chapter 42 - Confrontation. **

**Try and guess what happens... I like it when you guess :) **

**Things to think about: **

**- Things often look different in the light of morning.  
- I've said nothing about them getting back together.  
- Where's everyone lse while this is happening?  
- Miley still has to worry about her Dad and his dislike for Nick. **

**PS. **

**- In reply to your reviews, you guys ARE ALWAYS too nice. I feel like I'm slacking half the time.****  
- This is NOT one of those stories where they all get high and drunk... it has a deeper basis than that... however I cannot vouch for anyone getting pregnant. That may or may not happen.  
- And I am thinking of starting a support group for the people that say they're addicted to this story... I hold some responsibility for it and feel like I should help... **

**Reviews? NJK Award Votes?!?!?!**

**Love you all xx  
**


	38. AUTHOR'S NOTE

Official Statement of Thanks and Goodbyes

I've been receiving lots of messages and thanks for being part of this fandom since I announced my (for the foreseeable future) _retirement_. I've had a lot of fun writing these stories but at this current time in my life I can no longer continue them for personal reasons. They were a lot of fun to write and even though I planned great endings for all of them, I do not have the time or the willpower to continue them on top of everything else in my life. Maybe one day I will come out of this retirement, maybe something will urge me to continue these stories. But currently the only works of writing I have to offer are my own original real person writings with my own characters. I'm incredibly thankful for this opportunity and the time that I've spent writing. My stories have received hundreds of reviews, favourites and I apologise to all of those who have my stories on alert waiting for the next chapters. I thank all the people who have critiqued my writing and told me how good they think it is. I greatly appreciate your constructive opinions and flattery.

I hope that one day I can finish these stories for all of you, but at the moment that day is not soon.

I personally want to thank all of those who, while I was writing, were great friends as well as readers and fellow writers. Victoria, Emily, Jen and Sam are among the many who I respected as writers and readers during my time here, and who also encouraged, inspired and helped me to make this as experience as great as it has been.

Thanks again and I'm very sorry to all those who I've disappointed.

Beth x


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